Dream: Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year?
by Rasengan22
Summary: ISOC: Dream sequel. Following the events of Dream Sidefics, Naruto and Sasuke are each trying to come to grips with what happened between them. Will they be able to reconcile, or is their friendship damaged beyond repair? Teenage angst. Enter if you dare.
1. Act I: Before I Ever Met You

a/n: WELCOME BACK. I've been sitting on a lot of this over the past month and a half, and I think I'm ready to post it.

 **ISOC timeline:** This is part of the DREAM universe within It Started Over Coffee. It follows the end of what occurred in DREAM SIDEFICS. So, if you haven't at least read Sasuke's Dream and then Dream Sidefics, you won't know what's going on.

* * *

 _Dedicated to **netamashii** on Tumblr._

* * *

Ten days until Christmas break, and Naruto was sitting at his desk, watching a steady flurry of snow descend over one of the tennis courts. He obviously hadn't been paying attention to Kakashi's lecture for the past 15 minutes, so he should've been prepared when a large rubber eraser bounced off his desk and hit him square in the chest. Some of his fellow classmates laughed, but they were used to this after spending a semester together in the same class.

"Naruto, is there something happening outside that you find more interesting than my lecture?" Kakashi asked. "Normally I'd enjoy the fact you aren't causing a disruption, but it's the third time this week I've had to stop because of your inattention."

"Am I still supposed to answer your question about what's more interesting out there, or have you switched to lecturing me about payin' attention?" He asked, staring at the silver-haired teacher and flipping the eraser in his hand.

There were gasps from a few of the girls.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at him. "Aren't you a little too old to still be going through a rebellious phase?"

"I don't know," he replied. "Aren't you just a little too _old_?"

"Out, _now_." Kakashi sighed. "Detention after school. Go to the principal's office. Wait, no. Let me write him a note first."

After Naruto grabbed his books and stuffed them into his backpack, he walked to Kakashi's desk and waited for his teacher to finish scribbling whatever complaint he had for him to give Principal Jiraiya. He glanced at the rest of the class. Some wouldn't make eye contact with him, but he didn't particularly care. For a second, his gaze landed on Sasuke. The dark-haired teen was reading a book, not paying the disturbance the slightest bit of attention.

"Asshole," Naruto muttered, averting his gaze.

"Excuse me?" Kakashi asked. "What was that?"

"I wasn't talking to you."

The teacher shoved the note into his hand. "You and I are going to have a talk after school. Make sure you give it to the principal. Don't throw it away this time."

"Sure," he said, saluting him. "You're the boss."

Without looking at anyone, Naruto adjusted his pack, slipped the note into his pocket, and left the classroom.

* * *

Sasuke was in the student council lounge, doing paperwork after a meeting with the other members. The council secretary, who also happened to be one of the girls Naruto dated over the summer, offered to stay and help, but he told her not to bother. It was difficult to hold a grudge against the red-headed cheerleader considering she was sweet, smart, organized, and considerate. Hard to say what she saw in Naruto then, but at least she wasn't the one who'd been spreading rumors about her ex-boyfriend's skills in bed. Although, if they were based on truth, were they _really_ rumors? Not to mention such gossip only caused Naruto's popularity to soar. He usually had a harem of girls following him from class to class.

Once everyone was gone from the lounge, he grabbed his iPod and listened to some tracks by a local band. The other day, the band's singer asked him to sub in for one of the guitar players at a show this weekend. He had the ability to listen to a song a few times and pick up the chords. Not that he'd agreed to helping yet, but if he did, he'd have to join their rehearsal tomorrow at the club where they'd be performing. All the more reason he should finish this council work. It was months away, but since they were the junior class, they were in charge of prom this year. Last year, he'd only assisted; this year, it was all on him and already proving to be a pain in the ass. There were fundraisers to think about, they had to organize the king and queen vote, and he needed to find an excuse for why he couldn't attend if possible.

Over the next 30 minutes, Sasuke worked diligently, the tracklist on repeat until it was practically ingrained in his memory. His father should be working late - despite his mother having complained that he take it easy - so it wouldn't be a hassle to get in some practice tonight.

When he was satisfied with how far he'd progressed with the budget, Sasuke began gathering his things. He checked his watch to see when the next bus would be. Not for another 15 minutes, so that gave him plenty of time to get his coat and walk to the stop outside the school grounds. He turned off all of the lights, gave one last look around the room to make sure it was tidy, and walked out into the hall. It was quarter after four, so there was hardly anyone in the halls when he headed for his locker. Sasuke put on his winter coat and hoisted his pack onto his shoulder. As he was leaving to catch the bus, he had the unfortunate timing of running into the principal outside of his office, Naruto right behind him. The older, white-haired man was yelling at Naruto, who stood there looking completely disinterested. In fact, for the past few weeks, Naruto had been acting like a delinquent - causing fights, not paying attention, or talking back to teachers. It was pathetic, really, that he couldn't keep his emotions in check.

They hadn't spoken since the day his father went to the hospital. Basically, they only spoke at school if forced to, and if he wanted to know what was going on, he had to stalk Naruto's social media. By the looks of it, he was still going out and having fun with Sai every weekend, or those moronic varsity baseball jocks who'd come to worship Naruto like a god. If only they knew what he got up to behind closed doors. He kept his expression neutral when passing them both. He didn't want to know what they'd been discussing because he also didn't want to think about how Naruto's behavioral issues had anything to do with him or their fight.

Sasuke was pretty sure he was in the clear until the principal called out to him. He stared hard at the exit, which was only a few feet away, before turning around to face him.

"Yes, sir?" He asked the principal while avoiding looking at Naruto.

"Don't you have anything to say to your friend here?" Jiraiya asked gruffly. "You're the Junior class president, aren't you? Shouldn't you be trying to influence him not to be a moron in class?"

Sasuke's gaze strayed to Naruto, who muttered something he didn't catch, but whatever he'd said, it earned him a smack upside the head from the principal.

He took a step forward, tired of Naruto's childish antics. "Do you have something to say to me?"

"Yeah, plenty," Naruto replied, glaring at him. "But I'm gonna get beaten up by this guy if I tell you _everything_ that's on my mind."

Jiraiya glanced between them. "I thought you two brats were friends. Am I wrong?"

Sasuke had a response ready, but rather than stoop to that level, he spun around and started walking toward the doors again. This had been a total waste of his time.

"Yeah, that's it," Naruto called after him. "Run away, that's what you're best at, Uchiha!"

He snorted at the provocation, satisfied when the principal blasted the other boy again. Whatever. Sasuke had nothing to be sorry for. He'd been honest. Maybe he'd been harsh, but how else would Naruto realize that he meant what he'd said? There was no future for them, and Naruto would get over throwing public tantrums about it in another month or so. Sasuke would be okay. He was alone before Naruto moved here, and would manage just fine without him now. It only sucked that his own brother, Yahiko, and most of Itachi's clique had taken Naruto's side. As if it mattered to him.

Once outside, he noticed it was snowing harder than earlier, so he pulled up the hood on his jacket. He took his iPod out of his pocket and unwound the wires. At least all of this free time had given him time to not just focus on his schoolwork, which pleased his father, but he'd also had more time to focus on his music - practicing, organizing shows for other bands, and managing their social media accounts. Most of those skills were ones he'd learned from being involved in student council, and now that he could get paid to do it, he also had extra cash on hand all the time. Although, he'd recently been reading about how to invest it. Even if he'd eyed that one drumset for over a year. There was no room for it at home anyway, and his father wasn't likely to approve of it either either. He'd just have to stick with practicing at Jiroubou's, one of the few who would still speak to him now that he'd, to use their words, "broken up" with Naruto.

* * *

"Are you making a habit of getting detentions now?" Sai asked while the two of them were driving toward Fremont to have dinner at Revel, one of Naruto's favorite restaurants. Sai had been nice enough to pick him up after his detention and public scolding.

Naruto, staring out the window, frowned at his friend's question. "Kakashi's been riding my dick lately. It's not my fault."

"Such language." Sai smirked. "I wouldn't mind if he rode _my_ dick, that's for sure."

Naruto spared him a glare. "Gross, dude. He's old."

"Old? I bet he's in his early 30s at most."

"Yeah, like I said. He's _old_."

"If you were a girl, I'd ask if you were on your period, but since I know you have a penis, are you ready to tell me what crawled up your ass and died? You've been acting strange for the last few weeks, and considering you and Sasuke aren't talking, it's not like I don't know what it's about."

"You don't _know_ anything," Naruto muttered. "I already told you I don't wanna talk about it."

"Yes, I get that," Sai said calmly, switching on the wipers to clear the snow from the windshield. "But you're going to get suspended at this rate."

"They won't suspend me right before Christmas break," he replied. "Can you turn the radio off?"

It was blaring some annoying pop song that made him want to punch through the stereo.

Sai, being an asshole, decided to turn it up. "Not interested in the break up-make up songs these days? Is that because you and Sasuke have yet to make up?"

"I said drop it already," Naruto told him.

"At least I know I'm on the money." Sai pat him consolingly on the thigh, and Naruto nearly jerked his leg into the glovebox compartment. "What the hell was that?"

"I'm jumpy, okay?" He lied. "Your driving makes me nervous." Naruto leaned his elbow on the door's armrest and returned to staring out the window.

"You know, Naruto," said Sai, "I love you and all, but just because you're having some falling out with Sasuke doesn't mean you should take it out on me."

"I'm not," he argued, dragging his thumb across the glass. "Am I?" Naruto glanced over at the dark-haired teen, half-annoyed he looked like Sasuke for a second.

"You are, yeah. You're being a dick. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but I'm going to be real with you when you're acting like an asshole."

Naruto sighed, sitting back against the seat. "You're right. I'm sorry. I guess I'm… frustrated."

"You think?"

"What are we doin' this weekend?" He asked, wanting to change the subject as soon as possible. "Don't forget I'm takin' off next Wednesday for Chicago."

"Yeah, that sucks. When will you be back again?"

"We should be back the day after Christmas," he answered. "Dad has a thing he has to be home for on the 28th. I doubt he'll be around for New Year's either."

"I thought you said he was going to start staying home more."

"Well, he said after New Year's to be exact. It's fine, though. I like havin' the apartment to myself, or the guys have been comin' over."

"Girls, too?" Sai turned the radio back down. "Although, I'm sure I would've heard it from the rumor mill at school if that were true."

"No," he said, his brow furrowing while he flipped the visor up and down rather violently. "I don't wanna date. I don't wanna fuck around either."

"Wow, you really _are_ going through something, aren't you?" Sai stopped at a red light, where a large group of middle-aged women in red hats were crossing.

"Who knows, though? When we go to Illinois, maybe I'll be able to hang out with some old friends."

"Maybe getting a little action would be good for you," Sai suggested. "You seem very… tense."

"I haven't even been jerkin' off all that much," Naruto replied, tapping at the window.

Sai gave him a look, a thin eyebrow raised. "I'm not in love with Sasuke or anything, but if we can be serious for a moment, I _am_ worried about you."

He very nearly growled. "Again with the Sasuke? What makes you think my bad mood has anything to do with him?"

"You're kidding, right? Not to mention he's gone back to being a robot. Just like he was before you moved here. It's easy to put two and two together, especially when you guys being in the same room makes the temperature drop 30 degrees."

"Tch. Who cares? I saw him as he was leavin' school today. He walked right by while Jiraiya was goin' off on me about - whatever." Naruto huffed. "He's the one who acts like I don't exist."

"Did you do something to piss him off?"

"Not intentionally," Naruto replied, then decided that gave Sasuke too much credit. "No, I didn't do anything wrong. He's just a stubborn jackass. It was his decision anyway."

"To what? Not be friends anymore?" Sai asked, sounding concerned when usually he didn't give a fuckall about Sasuke unless it was for the sake of teasing him.

He shrugged. "I guess. Yeah. Whatever."

"I can see him doing something like that. I've always thought the guy had a temper underneath all that… conformity."

"You think Sasuke's a conformist?" Naruto asked in surprise.

"He's not?"

"Dude plays punk and rock music at clubs most of us can't even get into," Naruto replied, almost defensively. But, it was a fact. He'd never thought of Sasuke as being someone to conform.

"If you say so. You know him better than me. Seems to me he's all about rules, and - _following_ them."

"Well. That part's true." He pulled his phone out of his pocket after it vibrated.

"I don't suppose that's him?"

"Not funny." Still, every once in awhile his heart jumped when his phone went off. "It's Kayla."

"What? Does she want to get back together? Even though you're damaged goods now?"

"Heh." Naruto put his phone away again. "I was damaged goods before she and I dated."

"You'd have to be to have a reputation for showing a girl a good time," Sai remarked out of the side of his mouth.

"I'm not gonna apologize for bein' halfway decent in bed." Naruto, smiling finally, leaned over to nudge his friend in the side. "You're curious, eh? How good I really am?"

Sai glared. "I was already curious over the summer if you remember. But, I'm sure you've forgotten since then."

"Oh." Naruto pulled back, scratching at his neck. "Sorry. I was just teasin'."

"It's fine. It'd be more weird if you treated me differently because of it."

"...Yeah. Don't kill me, but I ended up tellin' Sasuke about that." He'd been feeling guilty about it and wanted to come clean. "Only recently, though."

"Jesus Christ," said Sai. "That's not the reason the two of you fought, is it?"

"What?" Naruto's cheeks turned red. "No, no, of course not! I was drunk, and it was last month. I never mentioned it until then. I know it was private, but I just wanted to tell you I let it slip."

"Too fucking honest for your own good, Naruto. I'm only surprised you didn't tell him sooner."

"No, it was between you and me. Had nothin' to do with him."

"Did you think he'd think less of you if you told him you got confessed to by a guy?" Sai asked.

He almost laughed, but knew better than to give anything away. "No… really. It was because it was a thing between you and me, and Sasuke doesn't need to know all my business. I didn't want you to feel like when we talk, I run straight to him and tell him everything."

"That's not exactly how I imagined it," Sai replied. "I always look at it as if he and I share custody of you. I get you every other weekend and some weeknights, and he gets the same. Although, I have to say I'm happy I've been getting you a lot more lately."

Naruto chuckled . "Yeah. I hope you know I really like hangin' out with you. We always have fun, and there's no fuckin' drama. Even hangin' out with a bunch of gay guys at a club, it's never…" He didn't want to finish, because he felt sad thinking about what moments with Sasuke were like. Yes, there'd been a lot of drama between them, but…

Naruto shook it off and forced a smile. "So, anyway. What is it you said we're doin' this weekend? Club? Movie?"

"I'll let you know tomorrow. I have some friends who want to check out this live music venue near Capitol Hill. Near the university."

"Wait, which place?" Naruto asked warily.

"Neumos. Why? Sasuke playing this weekend?" Sai prodded, apparently seeing right through his worries.

"I would have no idea about that, but you never know."

"Well, if we go, I'll check out the lineup, and then you'll know if he's going to be there or not. He only plays with a couple of bands regularly, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. He subs sometimes, but… yeah. As long as he's not gonna be there."

"I don't know. I think he looks pretty sexy when he's playing on stage," Sai remarked.

They were only a block away from the Korean restaurant Naruto liked so much, so it'd take at least another 10 minutes to find parking on the street.

"He's like a different person when he plays," Naruto quietly agreed. "I'll admit that much."

"Even _I'd_ consider - "

"Don't _finish_ that sentence," Naruto warned.

"Or, what? You're going to tell on me to him? When you two kids aren't even on speaking terms? Please. Let Mr. Class President do whatever he wants to if it means you and I can hang out more. His loss is my gain." Smiling, he turned to Naruto and pat him on the head.

"Sai…" Naruto stared at him with bright, watery eyes. "I love you a little bit right now."

"Oh, yeah?" Sai grinned. "Should we take this back to my place and skip dinner?"

"Ha, fuck you," Naruto punched him in the arm. "I want my goddam short rib rice bowl and moo shu pork dumplings! I've been thinkin' about them all week."

"Is food really that much better than sex?" Sai asked.

"Heh. Depends." Naruto smiled coyly at him. "Don't you know sex between friends complicates things?"

Sai stared at him so long that Naruto grew nervous he'd given something away.

"What?" He asked, feeling self-conscious.

"Nothing."

Sai didn't pry further and, instead, became preoccupied with parallel parking behind a very crookedly-parked SUV.

"I bet it was a woman driver who parked there," Sai commented, and Naruto laughed.

"Sexist bastard," he said.

"So sexist I don't even want to lay a hand on them," Sai replied, expertly maneuvering them into the spot without a problem. "By the way, what was the name of that friend of yours? The one you think might be in town while you're in Chicago?"

"Oh." Naruto removed his seatbelt. "Gaara?"

"Yeah, that guy. The one who dropped out of school to join Americorps?"

"What? No, that's not - Where the _hell_ did you hear that?"

"From you, I thought." Sai undid his seatbelt and pulled the keys out of the ignition. "That'd be good. If you got to see him."

"Yeah, that'd be… really good." Naruto zipped his coat. "I haven't seen him for more than a year now. It was around my mom's funeral."

"See, you have things to look forward to, so cut out the delinquent shit until your trip next week."

Naruto scrunched his nose. "Has it really been that bad?"

"Not for me, but for most of the teachers and some of your classmates. I'm not even in your year, but it didn't take long to hear word of you and Sasuke being in some kind of fight. Of course, everyone thinks it's over a girl. Either you fucked some girl he liked, or vice versa."

"Wow, people need to get a life," he mumbled. "Although, Sasuke definitely has his dark side."

"Haven't you heard?" Sai asked, smirking again. "According to Kelly Clarkson, everybody's got a dark side."

Naruto glared. "Really. Are you _really_ gonna go all gay on me right now?"

"I'm always gay, idiot," Sai said, punching him in the arm. "Now, get the fuck out of my car so we can go eat your ding dongs or whatever it is you order."

"I'll leave the _dong_ to you," Naruto replied, snickering as he opened the car door. "I'll stick with the moo shoo pork."

* * *

Sasuke was studying in his room while his mother prepared dinner. It was only the two of them tonight. Itachi wasn't flying in until next week, and his father was working late and wouldn't be home until around 9. Sasuke only had two exams left until Christmas break and one report for his AP Chem class that he could try to work on this weekend. After dinner, he'd be able to fit in a couple hours of practice since he'd decided to play the show on Saturday.

While he was reading a chapter in his history book about the Gulf War, there was a knock on his door.

"Come in," he said.

His mother stepped inside. "Dinner's ready, Sasuke."

"I'll be right there, mother," he replied, already closing his textbook.

Sasuke went into the bathroom to wash his hands before heading to the dining room where his mother had set out multiple Japanese side dishes as well as a main dish of katsudon.

"I got a little carried away," she said, setting out the chopsticks and seasonings. "It'll give your father something to eat when he gets home. You can take some for lunch tomorrow, too."

He waited for her to sit before taking a seat himself. Sasuke tasted the miso soup first, and then picked up his chopsticks to poke at the fried pork cutlet in the bowl.

"You're quiet tonight," said Mikoto as she spread a napkin over her lap.

"How was your day?" He asked, not wanting to be seen as ungrateful for the meal.

"It was fine. Very quiet in the house. I think I'm ready to take on more piano students. It makes the day go by faster. I hope you wouldn't mind if we use the music room?"

"Of course not," he said. "It was originally your piano."

"I know, but you're in there so frequently, I wouldn't want to mess anything up with your equipment," Mikoto remarked. "Do you have a show this weekend?"

"...I do." He took a rather big bite of the rice and fried egg. "Saturday. I haven't played with them before, so hopefully I don't embarrass them too much."

"Lots of bands are asking you to play, aren't they? They must think you're good."

"Do you think father will be mad?" He asked.

Mikoto picked up her cup of tea and sipped, looking thoughtful. She set it down again. "Don't worry about your father, dear. He's very busy at work and probably won't notice. Will you be staying at Naruto's? We haven't seen him around here for a long time. Is he busy?"

Sasuke, chewing slowly on his food, set down his chopsticks to pick up his glass of water. "He's been hanging out with the guys on his baseball team."

It wasn't entirely a lie, but he also didn't want his mother asking too many questions. He knew she liked Naruto, but it would upset her if she knew they weren't on speaking terms.

"Oh, is that so? How sad! I was hoping to see him before Christmas. I bought him a present. Nothing extravagant. Maybe you can give it to him at school next week?"

That idea didn't sound too appealing. "You could always mail it to him."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure everything's okay, Sasuke?"

"Everything's fine, mother."

"I know you're 17 now, but you can talk to me if something's troubling you, sweetie." She shifted her long hair so it fell over her shoulder. "You've been rather gloomy lately."

He looked up at her. His mother always did have an instinct for knowing when something was bothering him, and he didn't want to have to completely lie either.

"I'd rather not talk about it," he said. "I have exams to worry about, and I need to learn this band's songs in the next few days."

Mikoto looked as though she would argue but nodded anyway. "Well if it's still bothering you after your exams, then why don't we make a date of it, dear? It's been a long time since you and I went into town for a dinner and a movie. We could do some Christmas shopping! I need to get a couple of things for your brother and Yahiko, as well."

Sasuke nodded. "Sure… next week. If it's not too much trouble."

"It's never any trouble. I like spending time with my youngest." She smiled at him. "I just don't like seeing you unhappy or stressed. High blood pressure runs in the family."

He smirked. "I think I'm in pretty good shape, mother."

"Yes, I am lucky enough to have two such very handsome and intelligent children. Maybe your brother will even give us some grandchildren not too far off in the future."

 _Better him than me_ , he thought.

"Although, I want you two to do whatever makes you happy in life," said Mikoto. "I think even your father would want you to choose whatever path makes you most happy, Sasuke."

He had been about to take another sip of his drink and paused. "I don't think that's what father wants," he replied. "He just wants us to be successful."

"Your father wants you to be able to take care of yourself. If there's something you want to do, you should pursue it, but I think he wants you to be able to support yourself. I don't have any doubts about what you're capable of, dear. We already know how very talented you are."

For some reason, her words caused his hand to tremble, and he had to set his glass down. "Thank you, mother."

She laughed. "You and your father are both so sensitive! Whenever he's stressed out, all I have to do is say a few encouraging words and, if you'll believe it, he blushes so much! Just like you're doing now."

"You're embarrassing me," he said.

"I know, but that's what mothers are for, Sasuke. After all, I won't be around forever."

"That's a morbid thing to say, mom." He frowned.

"Well, it's true, which is all the more reason we want you and Itachi to have all the resources you need to live a life as free of stress as possible. Make lots of money, and you can take care of me in my old age."

"I think Itachi will be making enough money for the both of us," Sasuke muttered.

"Your brother works very hard. He would take care of you in an instant if anything happened."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Is there something I need to know about?"

"Not at all. I think it's good to be prepared. Life can be very unpredictable. When you have children one day, you'll understand."

"I don't even know that I have any interest in having children."

"I mean much later. When you find someone you love and want to have kids with."

Sasuke, mulling over his mother's words, took another sip of his water since his mouth had gone dry.

"But just to let you know, I would be perfectly delighted if you ended up marrying Naruto," she suddenly teased, and Sasuke, no matter how cool he tried to remain at all times, sprayed the water across half the table. Mikoto burst into a fit of girlish giggles as Sasuke raced to clean up the mess he'd made.

"Why would you say something like that while I'm drinking?" He asked.

"Oh, who cares? Your father isn't around, and Naruto is just so - Your father and I both really like him. I suppose if we had a daughter around that age, I'd try to play matchmaker."

Still cleaning up the water, Sasuke scowled at the mere idea. "You can always ask Itachi if he'd be interested in dating a blond idiot five years his junior. They always get along so well."

"Don't be jealous. It'll cause little wrinkles around your eyes, and you have such a nice face."

"Mother." He tossed the dampened napkins to the side. "Have you been drinking wine tonight?"

"Only a little," she confessed, her rosy cheeks giving it away. "I miss my talks with Naruto, I suppose. We always have the best conversations. Maybe he could join us next week?"

"I'm sure he's busy," Sasuke replied in a low voice. "I'm sorry that I can't keep you as entertained as he can."

"Oh, that's not what I meant, Sasuke," Mikoto scolded. "It's because it's not very often you bring friends over or that we see you laugh and talk as much as you do when Naruto's around."

"Yes, well, we're eventually going to take different paths since I plan on staying here for college, and he's going to Illinois." He knew he sounded bitter, but the last thing he wanted was to talk about Naruto and how much his mother preferred him over her own son.

"Is that so?" Mikoto asked. "Hmm. I suppose that's normal. I thought you'd want to go to Stanford like your brother?"

"I've never wanted that," he said. "I think the University of Washington would be good enough, and it's in-state tuition, so father won't have to work as hard. I can get scholarships, too."

"Sasuke…"

Having reached his limit, he began to pick up his dishes. He'd only eaten a small portion of the katsudon. "I should get back to my studies. I need to practice later, but I can do it in the garage if I'm going to bother you."

"No… it's no bother," she said softly, watching him. "And don't worry about the dishes, I'll take care of everything."

With his hand trembling slightly, he set down the bowl again. "Thank you for the meal."

While walking out of the room, Sasuke stopped when his mother grabbed hold of his wrist.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk to me about anything?" She asked, sounding worried enough that he began to feel guilty.

He'd been annoyed with Naruto earlier in the day for being so obvious only to realize that he wasn't any better at hiding his emotions all of the time either. At least it was only his mother here. If his father or Itachi were home, he would've been able to control it better. Sasuke couldn't look at her, at least not until she took hold of his hand and interlaced their fingers. Mikoto squeezed it, and Sasuke felt a pain in his chest. If he stayed there much longer, he'd embarrass himself by crying or something equally as pathetic. He'd had weeks to get over this. Most of the time he kept himself so preoccupied that he didn't have to think about Naruto or the fact that he…

 _Missed him_.

"Sasuke?" His mother pressed again. "You're worrying me. Is it about your father? He's doing fine now, so you don't need to worry about him."

"...I'm glad." Sasuke attempted a smile, but he felt an underlying resentment.

Mikoto swung their hands together playfully. "Do you remember when you were a little boy and your brother would tease you? You'd come running into the house, your eyes full of tears, and then you'd climb into my lap and ask me to stroke your hair."

"...I remember," he said, smiling a little. "Father would run out on the deck and yell at Itachi to come inside and apologize."

"Yes, your father did always baby you. I liked to dote on you, too. Itachi also spoiled you despite how the two of you fought growing up. He only tormented you because he loved you so much. Before you were born, he always asked about having a little brother."

"I don't know about that." He was able to smile in full, thinking about those memories that now seemed so very far removed from the present. "He still torments me."

"Out of love," she replied gleefully. "He'll be home soon. Has he texted you lately about whether Yahiko is coming this time? I'm sure he's welcome."

"He hasn't texted me." No need to mention they weren't speaking. "But I did hear that Yahiko is likely to spend the holidays with his girlfriend. They got back together again."

"Ah, is that so? The one with the blue hair?" Mikoto asked.

"Konan," he informed her. "As of a couple of weeks ago."

Mikoto sighed. "I'm glad those days are past. I sometimes forget how dramatic it can be to be young and in love."

"Tell me about it," he mumbled.

"What was that, dear?"

"I said I should get back to work." Sasuke smirked. "So that I can attempt to become as successful as your first-born."

"I love you equally," Mikoto replied, letting go of his hand. "You both have your strengths."

"And weaknesses?" He asked, thinking she looked quite pretty tonight.

"My spawn don't have any flaws." She giggled again, holding a hand delicately in front of her mouth. "If they do, it comes from your father's genes."

"I see. Women have a rather interesting way of looking at the world."

"Of course they do," she replied. "Just remember to always treat the women in your life with respect. Well, the men, too."

He raised an eyebrow at that comment, but she didn't appear to mean anything by it.

"Make sure you tell Naruto I miss him." Mikoto gave his school dress shirt a tug. "Tell him I feel neglected."

"If I have a chance to," he said. "I'll tell him."

He wouldn't get a chance, but his mother didn't need to know that.

"Are you sure you don't want help with the dishes, mother?"

"Not tonight. You have important things to do, and it won't take me long. Go study, Sasuke, and I'll try to find my earplugs for later on."

He snickered. "Alright, I'll give you fair warning before I begin practicing."

"Thank you, dear. It'll be appreciated. As amazing a musician as you are… I think I'd like to finish this book I've been reading."

"I understand." He didn't usually show many physical gestures of affection with her, but this time, he bent down and kissed his mother on the forehead. "Thank you for worrying."

When he stood up again, there were tears in her eyes that she quickly wiped away.

"You little scamp," she said. "Making your mother cry. Go on now and let me get to the dishes."

He bowed his head before leaving her alone, and, while walking down the hallway, slipped his hands into his pockets, trying not to imagine a future where his parents weren't around. Obviously it wasn't an impossible scenario. Naruto had lost his mother at 16. Terrible things happened in this world that weren't within anyone's control. In fact, he'd say having known Naruto and his situation, it made him even more aware of his relationship with both parents and the importance of family. It was just unfortunate that, in order to protect his family, it was necessary to push Naruto away.

Sasuke, after walking into his room, glanced at his bed, perfectly made, and then at his computer. Looking at it, certain thoughts and images were coming to mind - of him and Naruto - and the last time they'd shared a bed. He bit his lip, eyeing his laptop, where he knew the video from that night was stored somewhere no one would find it, including Itachi. He'd meant to delete it. He had, actually, but when he went to clean out his recycle bin… it somehow got restored. Of _course_ he hadn't _watched_ it. He knew what was on it, and that was enough. It made him think about Naruto's last words before he'd stormed out of the room. Enjoy the video? How could he _enjoy_ it?

Thinking of being with Naruto that way - even if he dreamt about it nearly every night - made it impossible to function, to stick to his plan, or to not get stupidly jealous. Every time he saw pictures of Naruto out with his teammates, with girls, or Sai, like he apparently was tonight...

He sat down at his desk and shut his laptop, not wanting to be tempted by anything.

Before Sasuke could think about practicing, he needed to get thoughts of Naruto out of his head. He picked up his history textbook again. After all, it had always been a lot easier to throw himself into his studies or music than to worry about the things in life he couldn't change.

* * *

TBC

a/n: Please remember to review the story (tell me what you thought, what you're thinking, questions you have, if something made you laugh/cry/or pissed you off.)

There is a playlist for this story. If you'd like to listen to it, I'll post a link to it on the breakfree-dramacd blog (see profile). There will be some musical moments, and the titles of songs in the playlist will appear as chapter titles. Because. I like music.


	2. Act I: Run or Hide

_Dedicated to netamashii who's done so much art for this story it's practically a light novel._

* * *

Naruto was in the locker room after gym class, searching through his belongings to find the slip he needed Gai to sign since he'd be missing two days next week. When he finally found it stuffed between the pages of his biology book, he slammed the locker shut and turned around, nearly knocking into someone. He'd thought he was alone.

Sasuke stood there, glaring at him. "Do you mind watching where you're going?"

Naruto glared back, eyeing him as he walked over to his locker and started putting in the combination. "Why are _you_ still here? Didn't you leave 10 minutes ago?"

"Not that I need your permission to be here," Sasuke replied coldly, "But I forgot something."

"You forgot something?" Naruto smirked. "And here I thought you were perfect."

Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at him. "You seemed to think so a month ago."

Well, that certainly caused his anger-fueled cockiness to shrivel up and die. He swallowed, the sting of Sasuke's words so hurtful, he had to fight off potential tears. Regardless, nothing changed in Sasuke's indifferent expression. Fucking frigid bastard.

"If you were planning on giving someone that love note," said Sasuke. "You might want to stop crumpling it in your hand."

"Huh?" Naruto glanced at the slip of paper. "God _dammit_."

He tried straightening it, but now it looked like he'd wadded it into a ball. That would suck if he had to get a new slip after he'd already received signatures from the teachers in his first four periods. Kakashi was next, unfortunately, so that was going to be a pain in the ass. Not to mention he'd be late to class again unless Gai wrote him a pass.

"What is that anyway?" Sasuke asked, shutting his locker door.

"Like you care."

"Fine." Sasuke brushed past him, knocking hard into his shoulder.

Naruto stood his ground, but didn't do much other than watch him walk away, his chest so tight he had to press his hand over his heart to make sure it was in one piece and still beating. He couldn't figure out how things could change so drastically between them in such a short amount of time. It might've been less terrible if Sasuke hadn't completely ignored him after that day, not only pretending as if nothing had happened, but acting as if Naruto didn't exist. For a week, he'd thought Sasuke would apologize, but it never happened. It was fine if Sasuke didn't want to be with him or didn't share his feelings, but he didn't have to be so cruel with his words. They were supposed to be friends. Although, apparently not anymore. Every interaction they had at school, which was mostly forced or accidental, made him want to punch his fist through a wall. It was extremely frustrating to not understand what Sasuke was thinking, especially when they'd been so close up until then. At least Naruto could be honest and say his feelings hadn't simply disappeared because he got rejected. They were there, underneath all of that angst. So, watching Sasuke walk away… it was crushing.

"Naruto! What are you still doing here?" Gai appeared from the other doorway that led to the gym, a towel hung about his neck. "Shouldn't you be in Kakashi's class by now?"

"Uh." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I, um. Need you to sign this." He handed the wrinkled piece of paper to the gym teacher.

"What's this?" Gai held it close to his face, squinting at the writing. "A vacation request slip? I see. Going somewhere for the holidays? How very exciting!"

"Sort of. My dad and I are heading to Chicago for some… personal reasons."

"Of course, of course. Well, we'll miss you, but I look forward to seeing you next semester. I hope with more energy. You've seemed a little down lately."

"I have?" He asked.

"Yes. I told Sasuke the same the other day! Maybe it's that, what do they call it? Seasonal Affective Disorder. Try eating more fruit. Vitamin C will help."

"I'll be sure to try that," he said. "Since I'm kinda runnin' late, would you, um, also mind writin' me a note for Kakashi's class? He'll kill me if I show up later than him."

"I suppose, in the spirit of the holiday season, I could do that." He signed Naruto's slip, and, going into his office, scribbled off a note that excused him from being late.

"Thank you, sir." Naruto tried to muster up a smile. "I'll be sure to think about what you said. Drink more… orange juice and stuff."

"You know, did I ever tell you about how Kakashi and I used to be rivals?"

"Well, a couple of times - "

"We had our fights," said Gai, rubbing his chin. "But, it never got in the way of our friendship." He slapped Naruto on the back. "If you and Sasuke are having a fight, sometimes it's best to communicate clearly and effectively. I'm sure your feelings will get through to each other."

"Right. I'm gonna, uh, go now… but… yeah. I'll… keep that in mind."

"Okay! Send Kakashi my regards," shouted Gai, as Naruto hurried out of the locker room to his next class. "Tell him he owes me drinks from the other night's free throw contest!"

* * *

Sasuke was at his desk, only late by a few minutes, when Kakashi entered the classroom with what appeared to be an empty plastic pudding cup. The older man tossed it in the garbage bin, picked up his attendance pad, and took one look around the room.

"Where's Naruto?" He asked, directing the question toward everyone.

Some of the students glanced around at each other.

"He was in gym last period," said a boy.

"Then where is he now?" Kakashi's eyes strayed to the other side of the room. "Sasuke? You have gym fifth period, don't you?"

Everyone turned and stared at him as if he were some kind of Naruto whisperer.

"He was… speaking to Gai last I saw him," he replied.

"I hope it wasn't about the money I owe him." Kakashi scratched at his stubbled chin. "If you say you saw him, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and hold off taking attendance for 10 minutes. If I have to spend one more afternoon with him, it's going to get in the way of my romantic life."

"What romantic life?" Sasuke asked. He wouldn't have engaged except he was already feeling irritated by his run-in with Naruto and, now, having everyone think he was Naruto's keeper.

"That's my point. I don't have one because I have to babysit students who're old enough to know better."

"If you put it that way," he replied calmly. "You also arrived late to class. I thought adults were supposed to have a better sense of responsibility?"

"I'm surprised you're defending him, Sasuke. Although, at least you earn points for loyalty."

"Like I care what that idiot's - "

Naruto suddenly walked in, so he didn't finish his sentence. He was glaring at Sasuke after having caught the tail-end of what he'd been saying.

"Figures you'd talk about me while I'm not around," Naruto remarked.

"Interesting you hear the word 'idiot' and assume it's about you," he replied, ignoring some of the snickers from other students.

"Naruto," said Kakashi. "You're late. Now if you're done bickering with the ex-wife, can you please take your seat. Preferably on the _opposite_ side of the room. Before you jump down Sasuke's throat, he let me know where you were, so I haven't taken attendance."

"Oh?" Naruto asked as he took his seat. "That's surprising."

"I thought so, as well," Kakashi agreed.

"I have a message from Gai, though." Naruto tipped back his chair. "He says you owe him for some basketball game and to pay up."

Their teacher shook his head. "Detention."

"What?" Naruto cried. " _Why_?"

"Just because I feel like it."

"What the _hell_ , Kakashi?"

"Maybe it's because you'll be gone for two weeks on break, and I want to get in some quality time before we part. Or, because you like to address me so informally in my own classroom."

"Ugh." Naruto put his arms on the desk and dropped his head on top of them. "You suck."

"It's called tough love," Kakashi replied.

"I'm already gonna be leavin' two days early next week, can't you just cut me some slack?" Naruto groaned. "Like, once in your life, can you _pretend_ to be human at least?"

Kakashi, while the whole class remained stiffly silent during their exchange, walked over to Naruto's desk. The blond picked up his head and glared at him.

"Why don't you go have a chat with Tsunade," Kakashi suggested.

"Are you _serious_? You said when I walked in it was cool because Mr. Perfect reported he'd seen me and knew I wasn't skipping, but then you - " Naruto stood up and grabbed for the backpack at his feet. "Nevermind. I'll get out. I don't care. But, at least sign this before I go."

Sasuke watched as the blond boy pulled out that wadded up piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Kakashi.

"I have to get this in by the end of the day, and it's just you and my math teacher left."

"What is it?" Kakashi asked, trying to uncrumple it. "You've chosen an interesting time to ask for favors. Why is it all crumpled? I should make you get another one."

Kakashi read the slip, and looked at Naruto.

"A vacation slip? Going someplace far away, I hope?" He asked, making a hand gesture that he wanted Naruto to give him a pen.

Naruto reached in his bag for a pen and gave it to him.

As Kakashi took it, Naruto said: "Yeah, I'm gonna go visit my mother's grave since it's the one-year anniversary of her death. Far enough away for you?"

The tension was unreal as Kakashi and Naruto stared one another down. What was worse was the anniversary of Kushina's death had completely slipped Sasuke's mind, too. Everything had been so shitty these past few weeks that he'd assumed Naruto's delinquency and bad attitude was the product of their fight only. Not to mention Minato was still traveling all the time.

"I'm sorry, Naruto," said Kakashi. "I apologize. I forgot that it was that time."

"It's fine." Naruto glanced away, but his face was pretty red. "Sorry I've been such a jackass lately. I've got crap on my mind. I'll be better next term."

Kakashi gave him the signed slip. Naruto took it, his head bowed and hair falling over his eyes, shielding his expression. But, the older man placed his hand on top of Naruto's head, ruffled his hair, and leaned down to whisper in his ear. Naruto nodded in response to whatever he'd said and, shifting his pack to the other shoulder, walked out of the room again. Almost everybody turned in their seats to watch him leave. A lot of the girls appeared startled. Some looked ready to chase after him. Sasuke could empathize. However, he doubted Naruto wanted anything to do with him right now, and, more than likely, Kakashi really had sent him off to see Tsunade for counseling.

He felt sort of guilty he hadn't known Naruto was going back to Illinois before the start of their holiday break. Naruto had algebra seventh period, but if he could catch him after that, they might finally have a talk. Not that school was the best place for it, but he didn't have a lot of free time. He had rehearsal tonight, and the show was on Saturday. Friday was his only option. Meanwhile, Kakashi had walked to the front of the classroom.

"I apologize for the interruption," he announced. "Adults can be stupid sometimes, too. It's an interesting lesson you'll find out as you get older and, the best thing you can do is apologize when you're in the wrong. Now, if we can focus on today's lesson, turn to chapter 14. Sasuke, if you'll read that first paragraph. Please."

Sasuke had the book out on his desk, but didn't have it open. He touched the cover with the tips of his fingers.

"Sasuke?" Kakashi asked again. "Chapter 14?"

"Right." He said, flipping to the marked page. "Sorry. I'll read it now."

* * *

After his algebra class, which he only managed to get through because they were given a free period to work on an assignment, Naruto made his way downstairs. He hadn't been paying attention, but as he headed for his locker, Naruto spotted Sasuke leaning against the one next to his. He had his backpack and his coat on like he was ready to leave but had been waiting on him to get here. Naruto had no clue what he wanted considering Sasuke had spent the last few weeks ignoring him. That included not even making eye contact when they passed in the hall.

"What?" He asked, focusing on entering his combination. "Did Kakashi send you after me?"

"I want to see if you're free tomorrow."

Naruto gave a rather incredulous snort. "Free? To do what?"

"Talk."

"Talk?" After opening his locker, he glanced suspiciously at the teen. "Why? What about?"

"Just talk."

Naruto slipped on his coat and adjusted the faux-fur lined hood. "What's your deal exactly? After you heard what I said in class, you suddenly wanna talk to me after giving me the cold shoulder for three weeks? Do you feel sorry for me or something? That's not really your style, Sasuke."

Sasuke's eye appeared to twitch. "Are you free or not?"

"No, tomorrow's Friday. I already have plans."

"Doing what?" Sasuke asked.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm goin' out with Kayla and some other people."

"...I see." There was a nearly undetectable raise of an eyebrow. "What about Saturday morning or early afternoon?"

Naruto sighed, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "I'm busy then, too. I'm hangin' out with Sai all day and then spendin' the night at his apartment. Is this somethin' we can discuss now?"

"I…" Sasuke glanced at his watch.

"If I'm takin' up too much of your precious time, don't stick around on my account."

"No, you ass," Sasuke hissed. "I have a rehearsal I need to be at in less than an hour. That's why I asked if you were free later."

"Right, when it's convenient for you. Got it."

Sasuke grabbed him by the arm and shoved him into the locker. "I am _trying_ here, Naruto. I'm sorry I forgot it was the anniversary of your mother's death. I only want to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about, Sasuke." Naruto glanced around the hall. Other kids were coming out of the classrooms, and they were all staring at the both of them.

Sasuke, who was usually the one to avoid any display of public affection (or, in this case public anger management issues) didn't seem to notice that while he had Naruto forced up against the locker, his face was close enough for him to count the flecks of dark brown around his pupils.

"You know," he warned him, keeping his voice low. "We _are_ in a really public place.".

"So?"

" _So_ , genius," he repeated sarcastically. "You are standin' _really_ close to me right now. People might get the wrong idea, and you wouldn't want that, would you?"

" _We_ aren't close." Sasuke sneered. "We aren't _close_ at all."

"Not anymore maybe," Naruto replied, Sasuke's brutal tone only serving to increase his own anger and bitterness. "All the more reason for me to not understand why you're here."

Before Sasuke could reply with what was likely to be a dick response, Sai appeared from around the corner and eyed the two of them suspiciously.

"Hey, is there a problem?" Sai asked.

"Mind your own business," Sasuke said, though he did let go of his coat sleeve.

"Why do you always have to pick a fight with Naruto?" Sai asked. "Don't you and the student council have to go buy some doilies for this year's prom decorations?"

Sasuke glared. "What are you, his guard dog now?"

"I'm his friend," Sai replied. "Which is more than I can say about you. Then again, you seem like the type to discard someone once they're no longer of value to you."

Naruto, managing to escape being stuck between Sasuke and the lockers, moved to stand between the two of them. He placed his hand on Sai's chest, holding him back. It was kind of nice to have Sai sticking up for him, but he didn't want this to get physical.

"Forget about it," Naruto told him. "It's not worth it. Sasuke, I don't have time to talk to you before I leave, and there's nothin' for us to talk about that hasn't already been said."

Sai took Naruto by the arm. "Come on, Naruto. I'll drive you home, or maybe we can go hang out for a while."

"Yeah, that'd be cool." Naruto gave Sasuke one last look. "Have fun at your rehearsal."

Sasuke stared back. "Have fun on your date tomorrow."

As Sai pulled him away, Naruto grinned sadistically, and shouted: "Don't worry, I will. Maybe I'll send you a video of it. I know how much you like those!"

Sai, still dragging him along, seemed extremely annoyed.

"What was that last comment about?" Sai asked. "When are you going to tell me what the hell really went on between the two of you? I've not seen Sasuke like that before."

"It's nothing worth mentioning," Naruto replied. "You can stop draggin' me now."

Sai let go of his arm. "I don't get it. All this time it seemed like you two were joined at the hip. Hell, I even had times I thought the reason you turned me down was because of him. Until you started dating Kayla and Skankovich."

"Hey, don't call her that," Naruto said. "She was a nice girl."

"Right, so you broke up with her because…?"

"Because I found out she was workin' her way through the varsity baseball team?"

"Exactly," said Sai. "Even if she had nice things to say about your skills and… endowment."

"Yeah, so don't call her that dumb name," Naruto argued.

"Then what happened between you and Sasuke? Did you fuck a girl he liked, for real? Did he fuck a girl you liked? Did you both like the same girl, and typical male hormones?"

Naruto pocketed his hands into his coat. "Why does it matter? We fought, we're not friends anymore. It happens all the time."

"Yes, but it's Sasuke. You and Sasuke. Everyone thinks you're the Odd Couple."

"Well, we're certainly not a couple. He'd be too much of an asshole to date anyway."

Sai eyed him strangely as they walked into the parking lot.

"Why would you consider dating Sasuke?" Sai asked.

"I have no idea," Naruto admitted and felt like he meant it. He'd had plenty of nights since his confession to wonder that very thing. "No fucking clue. I'd have to be mad out of my fucking skull, Sai."

"So, would you date me before you'd date him? I mean, hypothetically speaking."

"You mean if I was hypothetically gay?" Naruto asked.

"You don't have to be gay these days to be into other guys," Sai replied calmly.

"I know that. I wasn't saying anything. Sorry, I just don't want to talk about it because he pisses me off, and I just - "

When he stopped, Sai stopped alongside of him.

"He really hurt my feelings, you know?" Naruto finished. "I… trusted him… I… but it was _stupid_ to. Not because he's untrustworthy, but you should never bet all your chips on one person… you should always operate with a Plan B, knowing that at any minute someone will fuck you over if given the opportunity. It's stupid to open up to people. They'll only hurt you in the end."

"Okay…" Sai put an arm around his shoulder. "So, he broke your trust."

Sai got them walking again, toward his car parked near the football field.

"Trust as in I didn't expect him to hurt me like he did. But, at least he was honest, right?"

"He said something that hurt your feelings?" Sai pat him on the back. "Maybe he just doesn't appreciate you. Sasuke doesn't have any idea how much of a cold dick he was before you moved here. I'm surprised you could stand him for as long as you did."

"He's not a bad guy," Naruto said, feeling guilty for saying anything about it. "I just… don't think we're very compatible."

"What is it you think he wanted to talk to you about?"

"Tch. I don't know." Naruto kicked a rock. "I blurted out in our English class about how I'm goin' to visit my dead mom, so I guess he felt guilty."

"You…" Sai shook his head. "Alright. Let's go somewhere that'll calm you down. How about the arcade? Sound good?"

"I don't have any cash." Naruto frowned.

"I'll spot you for the day." Sai pulled him in closer. "Let's just have some fun. You have your date tomorrow - "

"It's not a date," Naruto interrupted. "It's a group of us hangin' out. Kayla's cool. We already dated. It's not like that."

"Uh huh… and then you're mine on Saturday, right?"

"Yep. As long as you let me sleep in until 11. I'm free after that. I'll bring a bag. I already told dad I'm stayin' at your place."

"Sounds good. Did you tell Sasuke where we were going on Saturday? Make sure he won't be there?" Sai asked.

"Nah, but you said it was a chick band, and he doesn't play with any group like that. We're good. He's never played there before anyway."

"Alright. Then we'll make a night out of it." He pushed Naruto away playfully. "Try to get laid tomorrow, Naruto. I think you need it."

Naruto purposely slid into him, knocking into his side. "Shut up. If I get pent up, I'll just jerk off, and think about your mom while I do it."

"I doubt you'd be the first, and you definitely won't be the last."

Naruto chuckled. "That's terrible. Where's she at right now? Morocco? Istanbul?"

"Dubai, I think," Sai replied. "Can't keep track."

The dark-haired boy unlocked the car for them, and Naruto got into the passenger seat, messing with the radio the instant Sai turned on the ignition. A Black Keys song was playing, so he hummed along, drumming on the dash with his hands.

"...I gotta love that keeps me waitin'." He sang, turning up the volume. "I'm a lonely boy…"

"Good to see you're in a better mood," said Sai. "To the arcade?"

"Yeah." Naruto nodded, smiling at his friend. "To the arcade!"

* * *

On the way to the venue, Sasuke nearly changed his mind about subbing in for this show. He was in a horrible mood. It would be unprofessional to ditch them at the last minute (even if the singer had _asked_ at the last minute), but wouldn't it be worse if he showed up and acted like a total asshole? He didn't want a reputation in this circle for being a diva, and silly high school drama was hardly an acceptable excuse for showing up with an attitude. Why did he let Naruto get under his skin like that? Then again, Naruto was always doing that. Apparently it worked both ways, so at least he could get some satisfaction out of their hostile encounter. What did Naruto expect him to do? If he was busy, he was busy - at least he'd volunteered to talk about it. Maybe he'd dictated the timing, but it obviously had to be before he left for Chicago.

Fuck it.

Arriving at the stop nearest Seattle University's campus on the north side, Sasuke took in a deep breath and pulled up his hood. His guitar, which he'd had to store in the music room all day, was strapped to his back as he stepped off the bus. It was snowing lightly, with a projection of flurries later on when he'd need to get home. If only Itachi were around, he'd try to bum a ride off of him. Then again, his brother was more likely to tell him to find his own way home. When he arrived at the venue, he waited for one of the workers to open the front door. He introduced himself, and the younger man let him in and asked if he wanted anything to drink.

"Water," he answered. "I didn't have a chance to grab a bottle on my way here."

"Sure," the blond said. "The band's setting up on stage, so just head through that door." He pointed in a general direction, not that Sasuke needed help finding the stage.

The band, which used to have a couple of guys in it, had recently renamed and recruited all female players. It was curious, then, why they'd asked him to sub for their female guitar player. The band, #Feminist, already had a sound reputation. They had a few original tracks and still did covers, mostly of female-fronted indie bands and a variety of punk or rock groups like the Peaches, Ladytron, Sleater-Kinney, The Coathangers, Pussy Riot, etc. It would be an interesting experience for him, and, so far, every conversation he'd had with the singer, Rin Nohara, had him excited about joining in on Saturday. It was also kind of cool they were both Japanese. Half anyway, since she'd said her mother was from Brazil.

Sasuke headed toward the stage. The women (all older than him) were moving some heavy equipment, so he shucked off his coat and carried his guitar up there. Rin had been advising one of the other band members about how to connect the wires to the speakers when she noticed him. She smiled, getting to her feet and dusting her hands off on her thighs.

"Sasuke," Rin greeted, looking happy to see him.

She had on a pair of ripped black jeggings, heavy black boots, flannel shirt, black beanie, black-framed glasses, and a Nirvana shirt. If Naruto had been here, he would've drooled all over the floor. There was a reddish tint to her shoulder-length brown hair.

Sasuke held out his hand to her. "I like your shirt."

Rin laughed, and he could already tell she was a down-to-earth and genuine person (you never knew with lead singers, after all).

"Thanks. It's hard not bein' a fan when you're born and bred here, huh?"

"Yes, indeed," he replied. "I'm sorry, am I late? I thought we were meeting up at 4.15?"

"The girls and I got here early, you aren't late. I didn't want you to have to worry about settin' up the equipment. You're already doin' us a big favor. Apparently our bandmate got food poisoning after she went on this cruise with her parents, and we'd already been paid for the show."

"It's perfectly fine," he said. "I got your setlist. I knew most of them already, the others I practiced last night, so I shouldn't embarrass you too much."

"Are you kidding?" She played with the bracelets on her wrist. "We're lucky to have you. I've seen you play live so many times and always thought you rocked it. I didn't think you'd say yes."

Sasuke had to admit he was extremely flattered. "It was last April, but I remember you opened for a band I was playing bass with."

"Right, Yagura's band." She nodded. "That's when I was with the guys, but they all graduated and the band broke up. You know how it goes."

"I like the new name," he said. "Are you sure I fit the bill?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I've heard just as many of the ladies as men compliment your professionalism and skill, so… yeah, I think you'll do. I even saved you a t-shirt."

He smirked. "Good, I'm glad. I'll wear it with pride. I like your bracelet, speaking of."

"Yeah," she said, spinning it around. "You…?"

"I don't make a big deal about it since I'm not out to family, but yeah."

"Right, no I get it. I'm a fan of boys _and_ girls. Actually, a percentage of what we make on ticket sales will go to a local foundation for queer kids in Seattle. So, I hope that's cool?"

"Obviously."

She smiled at him, her big brown eyes almost sparkling, reminding him of someone.

"So, do you have any friends comin' to see you on Saturday?" Rin asked, setting a hand on her hip. "Or did they make fun of you because you'll be playin' with a bunch of chicks?"

"Hardly," he replied. "Of the few I told, they were jealous. Although, maybe for reasons that weren't so professional."

She laughed. "We get that a lot, but mostly our fanbase is girls. We have our loyal boys, too, and I figured anyone who follows you might also show up to give us a chance."

"Ah, yes, I'll make sure to post about it tonight."

"I didn't mean to pitch it to you like that," she said. "I just think it's really awesome how everyone in our little circle helps each other out. I was thinking… Sasuke."

"Yes?" He could tell by that look of hers that she had something unsettling to propose.

"I know you usually just play bass or electric, but I've heard that you can sing."

"I never sing, especially not on stage," he said, feeling his stomach turning at the suggestion.

"I only want to propose the idea because I thought a duet would be good for a cover or two I've always wanted to play. I thought I might even offer you a solo if you'd like? Your choosing. I know you like punk covers, but we're open to whatever. There's nothing the girls can't play or learn overnight. Or you can play by yourself. We have an extra acoustic, as well."

"I'll have to think about it," he said, hesitant to even say no for fear of being rude. "I don't mind doing backup, but I've never done lead. Which song did you have in mind?"

"'Drive'. Or, maybe 'Love Interruption'?" She took off the beanie she wore and stuffed it into her back pocket. "I think your voice would suit the Oh Wonder song. It's our only pop cover. Although, I also wanted to do 'Music When the Lights Go Out', but I think we can split the vocals if you prefer?" Rin batted her eyelashes at him for effect.

"You realize that doesn't work on me, right?" He smiled anyway.

She smiled back. "Consider it a compliment. I've always wanted to collab on a couple of songs, and it's sort of why I scouted you. Besides your ridiculous skills on bass and guitar, I've heard you can sing. So. Sing for us? Sing with me? Please? Sasuke? _Please_?"

"I'll…" He sighed, only realizing then that the other women had stopped and appeared to be waiting for his answer with a certain amount of anticipation. "If we rehearse it tonight, and I don't sound so shit that I'll embarrass everyone. I'll have to think about the solo. I…"

Rin didn't let him finish before she threw herself at him. She hugged him while bouncing up and down on her tip toes. "I am so stoked about this, Sasuke. You have no idea!"

"I would've thought being gay, women wouldn't have so much power over me."

"Oh, c'mon." She stepped back, rubbing the back of her head (not unlike how Naruto always did). "So, I guess if you want to set up your guitar, we can discuss the setlist some more, and… we'll start rehearsing? We have the place until 9, and then they have a show at 10. We can always get together at my place, too, if you feel like you want to practice the duet things more."

"That might be good, but I think that's plenty of time. I catch on quickly."

"I know," she said. "They say you're a genius."

"I wouldn't go that far. Do you mind if I introduce myself to everyone else first?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course! Sorry, we've all been so excited to meet you and work with you, but yes, let me introduce you to the rest of the band."

Rin did the introductions. There was a bassist, keyboardist, and a drummer. Rin was vocalist and lead guitar. The drums were set up and branded with the band's name. After he finished with his greetings (and that blond man from before finally brought him a bottle of water), Sasuke tuned his Fender, and the five of them began their rehearsal for Saturday's show.

* * *

Naruto, who'd been hoping for a snow day, was glued to the TV on Friday morning. He shoveled his spoonful of Cheerios into his mouth. In the kitchen, his father was blending a bunch of crap into a smoothie, making it nearly impossible to hear the weather forecaster.

"Dad," he complained. "How am I supposed to know if I have to go to school today?"

"Do you want some?" Minato asked. "This one doesn't have kale in it."

Naruto scrunched his nose, not bothering to look over and see what disgusting concoction his dad had gone with today. "I'll pass. Hey, don't forget I'm goin' out tonight. I should be back late, dunno what time."

"Don't be later than your curfew," Minato replied. "Haven't you been going out a lot lately? And why haven't I seen Sasuke around. Are you two _still_ fighting?"

Luckily, his dad became distracted, and he didn't need to answer, not that he was going to give one. Last night was the first in a long while Naruto had gone without thinking about that stuff. Sai showed him a good time. It almost made him think he'd fallen for the wrong gay boy. He felt really grateful to have such a good friend, but, yeah, it did suck that he couldn't tell him the truth. If it didn't feel like he needed to keep Sasuke's sexuality orientation a secret, it might be nice to talk to someone about what he was going through, which is why he was super psyched that Itachi was flying in on Tuesday. They'd been texting over the past few weeks. He wouldn't admit this to Sasuke - not that he'd have a chance to - but he'd also heard from Yahiko. Only twice, and in one text, he let Naruto know he was back with Konan so "don't ask for another kiss next time we see one another."

"I'm about to head to work," said Minato. "Do you want a ride?"

Naruto glanced at his dad, who was well dressed as usual. "Nah. I'll take the bus, it's cool. School's out of the way for you, and traffic sucks at this time of day."

"Alright, if you insist." The older blond man retrieved his heavy coat from the closet. "Don't forget to do your laundry this weekend so that you're packed before we need to take off."

"I'll do it on Sunday when I get back from Sai's."

"Why don't you wake up early on Saturday and do it before you go out?"

"Why does it matter when I do it so long as I have it done by Wednesday?" He mumbled.

"Is this talking back thing becoming a habit again? If I get one more call from Jiraiya about your attitude at school, you can forget about going out at all this weekend."

"Whatever. I'll do the laundry tomorrow then." He rolled his eyes after returning his attention to the news channel, which was now showing pets up for adoption at a local shelter.

"I guess I won't see you until Sunday unless you're home early. Be careful, Naruto."

"Alright." He lifted up a hand and waved it (sarcastically). "Later, Dad."

* * *

At the end of school on Friday, Sasuke had some free time before he needed to meet for a brief student council meeting. He'd often found that one of the quietest places at school was usually the music room. He sat at the piano and stared at his fingers outstretched across the keys. It was the first time in a very long while he could say he was nervous about a performance, mostly because he had agreed to not only split vocals on a two songs, but to do a solo with Rin as back-up.

It's not as if he thought he couldn't, but he hadn't practiced being lead vocals for anything. Having only a day and a half to practice wasn't usually how he liked to do these things. He'd only posted about it on the professional Twitter he used, so he didn't expect anyone from school to attend. Obviously, Naruto wouldn't be there. If he would've been, though, Sasuke would've been less inclined to agree to it. He thought the two of them could've spoken today given yesterday's conversation, but Naruto didn't show up to gym, and the blond had been subdued and distracted during English. Those were the only classes they had together this semester. They had the same lunch period, but, as of late, Naruto mostly stuck to eating with the jocks, while Sasuke sat with some people from student council and other academic clubs.

Without thinking, he started playing a classical piece from memory. Music was about the only thing that kept his mind off of his frustrations. The day after his father went to the hospital, Sasuke didn't go to school, but when he went on Tuesday, he was still distracted and angry at everyone for keeping him in the dark. He didn't talk to Naruto, but, honestly, it wasn't on his mind to apologize. As time went on, and neither of them spoke to one another, the silence extended. A part of him thought Naruto might come to him first, but he never did. When they did interact, it was always hostile to some degree. Nowadays, he simply reacted to Naruto's cold attitude and tone because… what else was he supposed to do? It was too late to apologize. He also didn't think he _needed_ to apologize because he'd been honest. Could he have worded it better? Yes. Possibly. Did he feel bad about hurting Naruto's feelings? ...Yes. It's not like Naruto acted as if he were willing to have a discussion about it anytime soon. Naruto was always spending time with other friends, so his life could apparently carry on without him. It had occurred to him - and not because Itachi kept telling him as much - that he'd regret his decision some day. But, he also wasn't going to change his mind. Even for Naruto. Not right now, at least.

As he continued playing, his mind wandered. Apparently for so long that he didn't notice someone else had come into the room until they tapped him on the shoulder.

"Sasuke?"

It was Kayla.

"The meeting was supposed to start five minutes ago," she said. "I didn't know where you might be, but I bumped into Naruto as he was leaving, and he suggested I might find you here."

"Did he?" Sasuke shut the fallboard and stood. "Sorry. I must've lost track of time."

"I almost felt guilty stopping you. You looked really focused. Naruto always talked about how talented you are at music. I wish he would've brought me to one of your shows."

Sasuke, however, was rather thankful he hadn't. He also noted her use of the past tense.

"They're not especially great," he said. "And I'm about average."

"I'm sure you're only being modest. Whatever you were playing sounded really beautiful."

He grabbed his pile of belongings he'd left on a chair. "Should we get going?"

"Yes, of course. I don't think it'll take too long. I gave the budget you proposed to the advisor, and she was going to give it to the principal today. We should know if it's been accepted by next Wednesday at the latest."

Sasuke nodded. "Thanks for taking care of that."

"No problem. You're the one who laid it all out in Excel. I don't feel like I did much to help."

He glanced at Kayla. She wasn't on council last year, but Sasuke found her easy to work with. She also caught on very quickly. After she and Naruto broke up, there wasn't much reason to hold a grudge. Naruto had taken her to last year's prom. Sasuke had confessed to him that she was the nicest girl in their class, but, in the end, she and Naruto dated for only a month.

"So," he said, trying to sound casual. "Naruto said you're going out tonight?"

"Oh, he did?" She blushed just enough for Sasuke to inwardly curse himself for asking. "Well, I mean. A group of us are going out to dinner and a movie. It's not really a date, I mean we - "

Sasuke felt his jaw tighten. "Sounds fun."

"Why don't you come with us, Sasuke? I thought you and Naruto were, you know, but maybe the two of you made up?"

"Did he say we were fighting?"

"Not exactly," she replied, starting to look embarrassed. "It's because you don't really talk in class anymore. Sorry, it's not really any of my business."

"It's fine," Sasuke assured her, annoyed and disturbed so many people were paying that close attention to his and Naruto's relationship.

She fidgeted with her blazer, and he felt Kayla had more she wanted to say or ask him, but as he wasn't in the mood to talk about Naruto, he put on his most aloof expression. Usually it shut people down from talking to him at all. It was difficult brushing her off given she'd been helping him out a lot lately with council duties. He let out a sigh. It's not as if she'd done anything wrong.

"If you need to meet up with Naruto or other friends, don't feel like you need to stay. I can handle everything on my own. There's really nothing for you to do, Kayla."

The girl smiled. "No, we're not meeting until later. I like helping you out if I can. It always feels like you take everything on yourself, so it's nice to be of use."

"Really?" He slipped a hand into a blazer pocket. "I hope you don't feel excluded from - "

"No, that's not what I meant!" She waved her hand emphatically, her cheeks lighting up again with a pretty flush. "Sorry. You and I don't really get to talk outside of class or council activities, so I just wanted to compliment you without it feeling like I was, you know, sucking up."

Sasuke suddenly stopped and looked at her.

"What?" She asked, her hazel eyes going wide with concern. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No… for a second you sounded… very much like Naruto."

"Oh. Is that why you're smiling?" She teased.

If she wasn't Naruto's ex-girlfriend, he might've teased her back. If Kayla was attempting to flatter him, it was working. Quite well, really. Dammit.

"I'm not smiling," he replied, and continued on without waiting.

Kayla, while laughing, quickly caught up. Being a cheerleader, she was athletic, curvy, and as obnoxiously bubbly as Naruto could be at times. It did occur to him to wonder whether this was a sign the two were getting back together. It wasn't his business to ask, so he didn't try to.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to come tonight?" She asked. "I think Naruto would like it. If you're worried about it, I can always talk to him - "

"That's not necessary," he said, almost too abruptly. "Besides, I have something else to do tonight. Thank you, though, for the invitation."

"Maybe another time then?" She asked hopefully. "It might be nice for the three of us to hang out over break. When Naruto gets back anyway."

"When will that be?" Again, he kept his voice neutral.

"The 26th is what he said, why? He didn't tell you?"

He detected pity. A lie was in order. "He did, but it slipped my mind."

"Oh, okay, well maybe another time then."

"Sure," he said. "Maybe."

* * *

Naruto was sitting in the back of a car, sharing a Lyft with Kayla as they headed to the restaurant where they were meeting the rest of the group.

"Are you alright?" She asked, drawing his attention away from the window and passing scenery.

"Oh, yeah." He smiled at her, not having been aware he'd been acting strange. "It's felt like a long week. How are you? You doin' okay?"

Kayla laughed at his distractedness. "Yes, I'm doing fine."

Naruto put on a neutral face. "So, did you end up finding Sasuke?"

"Yes, I did. He was exactly where you said he'd be."

"Eh, I figured. If he was still at school, that's the place where he hides when - " He stopped because it meant Sasuke had something on his mind and needed a quiet place to think it over. "Did you have a good meeting? Get lots of stuff done?"

"There's not much to do. Sasuke does most of the work. I've tried to help him with some administrative functions where I can. I really like working with him."

"Do you?" He smiled crookedly. "That's good. You look nice tonight, by the way. I'm sorry if I didn't say so when I came to pick you up. You curled your hair."

"I haven't been going out as much, and since it's the last we'll hang out before the holidays, I thought it would be fun to dress up. I mean, as a group."

Naruto grinned. "Did you think I'd wonder if this is a date if you dressed up nice?"

She shoved at him him. "Shut up. I know it's not like that. Doesn't mean I don't want you to think I look nice. You're so annoying, Naruto."

"I'm not. I'm a perfect gentleman. Even if we're not together, I still consider you a friend, and as long as I'm not hittin' on you, I can tell you that you look pretty."

"Fine." She was blushing really hard, but he didn't feel all that bad about it. "I asked Sasuke if he wanted to come out with us tonight. He said no, but I kind of hoped he might since, _you know_."

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"It's obvious you two are fighting about something. I won't ask what happened, but I think it's sad. He must miss you, too, because he said I reminded him of you."

"He did?" Naruto turned in the seat. "Why?"

"You know what's funny is you're smiling just the way he did when he said it." She rolled her eyes. "Boys. I get girls holding grudges when they fight about dumb things - usually other boys - but I thought guys didn't do stuff like that."

"Usually guys fight it out and are done with it," he mumbled.

"Then why don't you _fight it out_ with Sasuke?"

"Because," he replied.

"Who started it?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Naruto stared out the window. "Neither does he, so it's fine."

"How do you know that?"

Naruto glanced at her, annoyance slipping into his tone. "Why are you asking all this?"

Kayla's eyes widened, and then narrowed. "Sorry. It's just my opinion. I care about you. I respect him. We all thought you were good friends, but okay. I get it. I'll drop it."

She turned her back on him and stared out the window, apparently pissed at him for snapping at her. Naruto reached for her arm and gave her coat sleeve a tug.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you," he said.

She glanced at him. "Don't you miss him? It makes me so sad."

He opened his mouth to reply, nothing came out. He took in a deep breath.

"Yeah… I do."

"Do you want me to help?" She asked. "I could talk to him."

"No." He attempted another smile. "It's between him and me. Maybe we spent too much time together, so some space between us would be good. Haven't you ever felt that way?"

"I don't know if I have, but I think that's the line you gave me when we broke up?" She wrinkled her nose in this cute way that at least let him know she wasn't being serious.

"Er." He leaned back, scratching his head. "Did I say that?"

"Not in so many words, but you thought we worked better as friends."

"Heh. I suppose some of the things we did friends don't do weren't so bad, though." He whispered low enough that it wouldn't embarrass her if the driver heard.

She punched him in the shoulder. "Whatever. It's so embarrassing that she ran her mouth about that kind of stuff, Naruto. Do you know how many people asked me about - " Kayla shook her head. "It's not as great for girls to be talked about as it is for boys."

"I know," he said, pouting. "I've never even said anything about you and me, so you can tell anyone what they want, not that it's their business."

"I _will_ say you're a decent kisser," she commented.

He took hold of her arm and shook her again. "Only 'decent'?"

"Stop flirting with me, or I really will get the wrong idea," she told him, her tone flirtatious.

She was cute, he couldn't help it, even if he did really think they worked better as friends. Since he might've crossed a line with his teasing, he slid back to his side of the seat. They were only a few blocks from the restaurant. It was snowing heavier now, so traffic was moving slow.

"Can I ask you one more thing about Sasuke?" Kayla suddenly said.

"Sure, why not?"

"How long has he been playing the piano? Did you know he was that good?"

"Hm? I dunno how long, maybe since he was five or six? I only know his mom teaches kids sometimes, so she taught him, but he picks up a lot of stuff by ear. I haven't heard him play that often. I've only really seen him on guitar or bass, once or twice on the drums."

"I caught him playing when I went in to find him. It was really amazing. I had no idea. I already thought it was interesting when you said he plays in punk bands. But, he had this very intense look of concentration on his face. I walked all the way up to the piano and had to tap him on the shoulder before he realized I was there. It was so unlike how I've seen him before."

Naruto considered her words thoughtfully. There was a part of him that felt worried, concerned even, if something was going on with him other than what he already knew. Like if Fugaku had another medical emergency. Although, he figured Itachi would've let him know if that were true.

"Did he look… mad?" He asked, wondering if their encounter yesterday was the issue.

"No. Sad, maybe. I didn't recognize the piece he was playing." Kayla tried to hum it. "It went like that, sound familiar?"

"Not to me." He frowned. "That was nice of you to invite him. I think I might've been ticked, but if you'd told me this first, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. As long as he didn't talk to me or come within five feet of me. He was waiting at my locker yesterday and wanted to talk about something. I think because of what I said in Kakashi's class."

"About your mother? Yeah, that… well, I already told you how I feel about that," she said.

"I know, but Kakashi pushed my last goddam button. He's so… he annoys me sometimes. I'll leave it at that. Always thinks he knows what's goin' on."

"I told you he apologized to the class after you left and said he was in the wrong."

"I know, that's why I kept my mouth shut today."

The car pulled up to the front of the restaurant. They thanked the driver and slid out on his side since it was nearest the sidewalk. He took Kayla's arm just because it looked really slick as they stepped onto the pavement.

"Well, let's not talk about it anymore. I don't want you to get kicked out, Naruto," she said. "That's all. School would be boring without you. Just like it was before you came."

Naruto held open the door for her, grinning. "Yeah? I bring excitement to your life?"

"I think you bring excitement into everybody's life, whether they want it or not," she replied sarcastically.

He stared at her.

"What?" She asked as he followed behind her into the entryway.

"You kinda just reminded me of Sasuke right then. That sounds like something he'd say."

Kayla gave him a long, searching look. "You know, if one of you was a girl, I'd suggest the two of _you_ date. You both clearly care about one another, and he sees you in me and now you're seeing him in me? I don't understand it. Just go kiss and make up already."

Kayla, catching sight of their friends at a long table in the back, left him standing there, still trying to absorb her words. It was amusing, but it also suddenly made him sad as all hell. If either one of them were a girl, it wouldn't be a hassle, would it? And to think of it that way, it made him depressed. He'd stopped hoping for the outcome he'd expected to come out of confessing because he _knew_ Sasuke, and Sasuke only said what he meant. Sasuke told him he didn't want him, didn't want to be with him, and hadn't even said he felt the same anyway. Naruto had stupidly confessed his love, thought it meant something to him, and then got pushed out of his life. So, no. He wasn't going to sit there and pine for Sasuke. Naruto could respect his decision, but he didn't have to be happy about it. Why couldn't he just be… bitter, angry… and sad? What right did Sasuke have to be contemplating shit alone in a music room? What right did he have to tell Kayla that something she said reminded Sasuke of him?

Why was Sasuke thinking about him at all? It was annoying and unfair. It made him angry.

"Naruto, you coming?" Kayla came back to get him.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Naruto reached for her scarf and uncoiled it for her. "Curly." He tugged at a piece of her auburn hair and grinned. "I'll have to beat the boys off you with a stick tonight."

"I'm glad you like it," she said, smiling at him affectionately. "Not everyone likes gingers."

"No? Hmm. It's one of my favorite colors. My mom had red hair."

"Ah, I see." She grabbed for his hand and squeezed it. "Come on, Naruto. I'll make sure you have a nice time. Let's not worry about anything, okay?"

"Alright." He nodded. "Then I'll thank you in advance for taking care of me tonight."

* * *

It was unusual for him to be home on a Friday night. When he wasn't playing a show, he'd usually be hanging out with Naruto. He'd cut back on playing lately since he figured his father would be stressed out less if he knew his son was focusing more on his studies than music. It was after 7, and his parents had gone on one of their dinner and a movie dates. He'd already finished his homework for the weekend and had even spent an hour practicing for tomorrow.

On his way down the hall toward his room, Sasuke pulled his phone out of his back pocket when it started to vibrate. He looked at the caller ID and debated not answering, but went ahead anyway. He took a seat in his desk chair and tried to keep his voice even.

"Hello, Itachi," he said while turning on his laptop.

"Sasuke," said his brother. "No show tonight?"

"I have one tomorrow," he answered stiffly, watching his computer background come to life. Blank now, but it used to be a photo of him and Naruto from a boat trip last summer.

"You didn't post about it."

"I posted to my professional account, not to any of my personal ones. Did you want something?"

"I did. I called to see if you could do me a favor."

"What might that be?" He asked, clicking around on the screen.

"Can you pick me up at the airport on Monday? My flight gets in at 7.30. Is that enough time for you to get home from school and drive to Tacoma?"

"That's fine. Why didn't you ask mother or father? Or take the train?"

"You don't want to pick me up?" Itachi asked. "I can just as easily ask Deidara or someone else."

"I said it was fine," he replied. "I'll be there around then."

"Sasuke," said his brother, using that serious tone that would've had him snapping a pencil in two if he'd had one in his hand. "How are you doing? Really?"

"I'm fine. If that's all you called for, I'm going to hang up - "

"I'm going out with Naruto on Tuesday."

"What?" He asked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we're going out," Itachi repeated.

"Like a date?" Sasuke scoffed. "Yeah, right. You're both straight. You're only trying to piss me off."

"Would it be so strange to call it a date?" Itachi asked. "I consider Naruto a good friend whom I've always liked. I enjoy talking to him, so I asked him to meet me before he flies to Chicago."

Sasuke felt a quiet rage building. "You knew he was going to Illinois?"

"Didn't you?"

"Not until yesterday, and not because he was telling me specifically. He didn't post about it."

"I thought he did on his Facebook. Maybe he blocked you?"

Sasuke turned on the speaker and went to Naruto's Facebook. He didn't see anything, but it was possible that idiot could've blocked him from specific posts. It led to him scrolling through Naruto's Twitter and Snapchat, which was a mistake because on his Snapchat there was a whole series of photos from tonight. Mostly of Naruto and Kayla looking like a couple. He was friends with Kayla, too. So, being a masochist, he searched through hers, too.

"Sasuke?"

"What."

"Are you mad I'll be going out with him?" Itachi asked.

"No. I don't give a shit who he goes out with," he snapped. "Do what you want, Itachi. If you're going to say 'go on a date', at least mean it. Let me know if you fuck him. See you on Monday."

He hung up. What the _fuck_ was that call about? Like he cared if Naruto went out with him somewhere? A _date_? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Surely, he didn't mean an actual date, because that would be stupid. So what if Naruto had had a crush on his brother since the first day they met? Did Kayla have no shame either? Couldn't she get it through her head they were broken up, and Naruto didn't like her that way? Sasuke stared at a photo on Kayla's Instagram of her and Naruto, his arms around her shoulders, and he was kissing her on the cheek. He read all of the comments, too. Mostly other girls asking if they were going out again, commenting what a cute couple they were, and how hot Naruto was. Disgusting. He dropped his phone on the desk. Then he changed his mind and shoved it inside the drawer so he wouldn't feel compelled to keep stalking them. It shouldn't bother him, but it did. If he rejected Naruto, the other boy had every right to date who he wanted, get with whom he wanted, and to do whatever the _fuck_ he wanted. Even if it made him feel like the things Naruto said that night weren't serious given he was that quick to move on.

Naruto should mope around more, fight with him, and act like his world had been turned upside down. He shouldn't be… out having fun with Sai and Kayla and making plans with his brother to fuck around town for an evening. Assholes.

Yes, he'd rejected a relationship with Naruto. He'd accepted Naruto may stay mad at him forever and that they would no longer be as close as they used to, either physically or emotionally, and… It was stupid, but he felt he had a right to Naruto. If Naruto had feelings for him, if he thought about that last night they were together, the things they did, the way it felt so much more intense and sexy as fuck. If Naruto knew how many times he'd jerked off thinking about that night since then, what would he say? It's not like he didn't have feelings for Naruto, too. Ones he'd attempted to bury over the past month. But, if he'd made a decision about it, he had to _stick_ to it. What he thought inside his own head, however, didn't have to hurt anyone.

It's not like sleeping with that DJ meant anything to him, so Naruto could get with people, too, and it wouldn't mean anything either, right? Except Kayla was a nice, pretty girl. Sasuke could see those two getting together again, but could she make him moan like he could? Would Naruto ever look at her the way he did Sasuke? If Naruto wanted her more, why did they break up in the first place? Why was it that Naruto confessed his love to _him_?

Sasuke knew what they had, even if it was past tense now, was more intense than any shit Naruto could have with some high school girl. He knew, from the way Naruto looked at him, from the way they fought, how they kissed, how they played these stupid games just to work each other up…

They'd never be able to get Naruto to respond the way he could. Who knew Naruto's body better than him? Besides, he had proof, didn't he?

Getting up from the chair, Sasuke went and locked the door only to return to the desk, unplug his laptop, and carry it over to the bed. He slipped his shirt over his head and unzipped his jeans, leaving everything in a messy pile on the floor. When he was only in boxers, he sat on the side of the bed and searched through various files until he found the one he was looking for. He paused it so that he could turn off the lamp on the nightstand and grab a bottle of lotion from the drawer. Sasuke slid under the covers. To be honest, he'd not watched the video at all. He'd never intended to because it hadn't seemed fair, and yet it was the only evidence he had that their night together even occurred. Maybe he didn't record those words Naruto said, the ones that had shook him and, for a brief time, made him feel like he could have everything he'd ever wanted.

Why didn't he say anything back to him about his feelings? Had he known - before it even had a chance to start - that a relationship between them was destined to come to an end? No. Because what happened after Naruto confessed (what he'd caught on video) was real to him, too. Sliding a hand under the waistband of his shorts, he hit play.

"Don't worry," he heard himself say to Naruto. "It's only recording and not streaming."

"You... exhibitionist!"

On the screen, he saw himself go and stand in front of Naruto.

"Are you serious?" Naruto was asking him.

"I don't look serious?"

He remembered that anxious, eager expression of Naruto's at the suggestion of filming them. Sasuke saw himself slip to his knees in front of Naruto as he sat in the chair. He watched himself pry the boy's thighs apart and take him into his mouth. The video was of decent quality, even if the room had been dark. He could hear the wet sounds from him sucking Naruto's cock.

Sasuke murmuring to him, "Don't forget to keep quiet."

Hand slick with lotion, he stroked himself, enjoying being able to see the look on Naruto's face from this viewpoint. The way he had his hand at the back of Sasuke's head, pushing him down. The sounds Naruto kept making. Sasuke could recall just how it felt to suck him off. There was nothing sexier than Naruto's eyes watching him as he did it, because it was so apparent how much he fucking loved it. When he saw himself with Naruto's legs over his shoulders, Sasuke let out a moan. The Naruto in the video seemingly answering him as he let out a similar noise of pleasure. He watched himself touch Naruto's body everywhere, like it belonged to him.

He started to recall what he'd been thinking then: _Could he treat Naruto as his now? Could he be satisfied knowing no one else could touch Naruto like this? Wasn't he the only one who could make him feel this way?_ The thought of being able to take their physical relationship _further_.

"Fuck," Naruto hissed as his hips started to jerk.

Sasuke let Naruto slip free of his mouth and began pumping the teen's cock. Meanwhile, Naruto reached over and swiped at the corner of his mouth with a thumb.

"You're so fucking hot, Sasuke," he'd said.

Sasuke shut his eyes after hearing Naruto's voice, those words repeating inside his head while he imagined Naruto here now. His body ached for it even if his stubborn brain kept refusing to agree with the rest of him. Fuck Naruto for not trying harder to convince him.

For not _chasing_ him. Why give up something that felt so good?

Sasuke heard himself on the video. "What do you want?"

"Anything you want," Naruto replied, conjuring up all kinds of images inside Sasuke's mind.

"Don't say 'anything'. I might not be able to stop myself tonight."

"I've got it under control."

When Sasuke opened his eyes and looked at the screen, he saw the way Naruto's fingers curled around his neck, the two of them leaning in for a kiss. He thought about how it felt when Naruto's tongue pressed against his. Sasuke envied the him in this video as Naruto dragged him into his lap. Naruto slipped a hand inside his pants and stroked him rough. If he could have Naruto's hand on him now… watching Sasuke watch him. So confident and sure. So sexy.

Telling Sasuke, "Get hard for me again. I wanna make you come all night."

"I haven't even... _aah..._ made you come yet."

"I'll come when I've gotten you off twice. Now, take these off."

Sasuke was close. With his boxers having slipped past his thighs, he tried to pretend it wasn't _his_ hand anymore. He wanted to feel Naruto's lips and tongue all over his skin. He wanted to feel Naruto's teeth biting into his shoulder, claiming him - marking him. He came hard into his hand, thinking about Naruto's mouth on his while he forced Sasuke over the edge, him releasing into the blond's hand as Naruto kissed him with a flair of possessiveness. Something he'd always fantasized about. Always wanted. Naruto wanting him just the way Sasuke had always wanted Naruto. Then, when he finally _did_ get what he wanted, he'd let it slip through his fingers.

As Sasuke regained himself, he heard Naruto say. "You've got enough footage."

After that, they'd moved out of view of the camera. He remembered what came next, but he shouldn't think about it. Sasuke shut his laptop and set his clean hand on his chest, the other still inside his boxers. On second thought, he opened it again and waited for the screen to turn on. He got up onto his elbow and, right clicking on the file, stared at the options. He bit his lip, almost hesitating, but then he clicked delete. Sasuke went to the recycle bin… and permanently deleted the video. There was an emptiness inside his chest that felt as if it was further hardening his heart. What had he done? What had he given up? How much would he regret this years from now?

Then again. No one had to know he felt this way. So _what_ if they had chemistry? That was no excuse for worrying his family. Naruto was just a boy. Sasuke would meet other boys in this lifetime. And Naruto would find a girl he liked, that suited him much better than Sasuke, and that could… give him things like marriage and kids. Things he knew someone like Naruto would eventually want. It was easier to give Naruto up if he thought it was in his best interest, too.

So, why then, were the tears starting to fall like he'd lost something as important as a family member? _A part of himself._ He wiped at his cheeks, cursing this stupid fucking bullshit about love and high school romances. Yet, here he was. Knowing he was still in love with Naruto, but that he could never have him. Not anymore. He didn't deserve him. But it was hard, cutting those ties. It meant being an asshole and potentially pushing him so far away that Naruto might give up on him forever. It meant sacrificing a once-in-a-lifetime bond with someone he was drawn to on a deeper level than he'd ever known.

How _did_ someone cut themselves off from that completely?

Like always, he supposed that was something he'd have to figure out all on his own.

* * *

 **TBC**

Please remember to review about the chapter! Thanks.


	3. Act I: Would You Fight For My Love?

_Dedicated to netamashii. Even if she's a Sasuke sympathizer._

* * *

"Shit, I didn't know there'd be a line," Naruto said as he and Sai were stuck with at least 50 other people in a queue that wrapped around the corner of the building.

"We can always go somewhere else," Sai replied. "But we already paid for the tickets."

It wasn't abnormal for there to be a line to get into a club, especially if a popular band was part of the line-up, but he figured since it was ass-freezing and snowing, less people would've turned out.

Sai pulled his hood up for him. "There? Better?"

"Heh. Yeah. Wanna take a picture?"

"Sure. You look good tonight, so my gay friends will be jealous." Sai slipped an arm around him, and they both looked up as Naruto's phone snapped their selfie.

Naruto had it on his Snapchat within 10 seconds. "Your gay friends are my friends, too. I think. They _are_ , right?"

"We had this conversation before," Sai said, fixing his hood for him. "They only want to bone you."

"Even if they want to bone me." He grinned. "We can still be friends, right?"

"We're still friends, aren't we?" Sai smiled flirtatiously at him, so Naruto smacked him in the chest.

"None of that. I don't even wanna think about complicated shit like romance."

"But, from the looks of the photos you posted last night, you and Kayla are getting along well these days."

"We always got along," he replied, rolling his eyes. "That's why we dated."

"Yeah, so are you going to be dating her again? Maybe it would be good for you."

Naruto shoved his hands into his coat pockets. "Don't think so. At least not right now."

Sai nudged him. "What are the chances we'll get served inside?"

"Pretty low. I couldn't find my ID, and the only times I ever got served were when I was out with Sasuke or Itachi's friends."

"I see. So there _are_ perks to befriending Sasuke Uchiha, after all."

Naruto shrugged. "Debateable."

"Harsh words for him tonight, hm?"

"I don't think that was harsh. I just have moments when I wonder what I got out of it?"

"Are you supposed to get something out of a friendship?" Sai asked. "In that case, what do you get out of being friends with me?"

"Respect," Naruto replied. "Mutual respect would be good. Consideration for my feelings is another. Or, consideration in general. Honesty?"

"Wow, okay." Sai looked concerned. "Was there anything good about him, or are you just _done_?"

All kinds of moments flooded his thoughts, most of which he couldn't repeat to Sai. But, it was difficult to separate the good times from what he felt now. When he thought about the things Sasuke had done, sometimes it was hard to know if any of that was real. Sasuke had the right to reject him, but why wait until after they fucked around? It was the same as the night Sasuke slept with the DJ. He had no intention of telling Naruto, but then lets it slip, says he "cheated", and riles him up so much Naruto nearly went all the way with him.

"You have to think about it that hard?" Sai asked.

"No." He shook his head. "Sasuke has a lot of good qualities, but I think for me… he makes me feel pretty shitty about myself, and I don't think that's what friends are supposed to do."

"I think that's fair." Sai took hold of his arm. "If it was that bad, you should let me beat him up for you."

"If I wanted that, I'd beat him up myself. It's not worth it. His brother's comin' into town next week, so that's exciting. We're goin' out before I fly to Chicago. The guy's amazing."

"Interesting choice of rebound. Sasuke's older brother? I suppose that would be the perfect revenge," Sai remarked.

Naruto chuckled. "He's out of my league, don't worry, but, yeah, even as a straight guy it'd be hard not to fall for someone like Itachi. He's pretty protective of Sasuke, so I'd have no shot."

"Why? What would it matter to Sasuke if you were to bang his brother?"

"Okay, first of all." Naruto's cheeks flushed at the mere thought of Itachi that way. "Um…"

"Maybe hanging out with me has opened you up to the wonderful possibility of men."

"If you met the guy, you'd understand why he'd be an exception to the rule." He scratched the back of his head. "He's too smart. I think he just feels bad me and Sasuke are fightin'. It's not his fault. I wonder if he told Sasuke, though, 'cause I imagine he might get pissed."

"I still don't understand why," said Sai, "But I'm sure there's some whole incestuous thing going on that I will never understand."

"Incestuous?" He asked. "Like Itachi and Sasuke?"

"No. I mean your love triangle you have going on. Although, it's more than a triangle, isn't it? If you add Kayle, me, Skankovich, and the other dozens of girls at our school that want to date you, or at the very least, have you fuck them. I never imagined I'd befriend the popular jock at school."

Grinning, Naruto threw his arm around Sai's shoulders. "You know, I'm glad at least one of us feels that way about me. I like how you have this vision of me bein' popular. I've been here less than a year. Sasuke's the popular one, and he doesn't even like interacting with most of our classmates."

"I don't really either."

The line finally began to shift forward, so Naruto removed his arm from around him.

"Is it just me, or are there are a lot of ladies here tonight?" Naruto asked. "I know that it's a girl band, but there's about ten guys in line."

"Seems like your chances are good then," Sai said.

"I remember seein' this one band 10 months ago maybe. the night of prom, I think. They were so good, but I was drinkin', so I can't really remember what they looked like… or their songs."

"You went somewhere after prom last year?" Sai raised an eyebrow at him while the line continued shuffling at its slow pace toward the entrance.

"I didn't mention that? I thought I did. I told you that the singer hit on Sasuke–oh. Well, anyway, that was prom night. His brother let it slip to me he was playin' at some downtown dive. After I dropped off Kayla at her place, I went to the bar, got in 'cause I knew a guy, and… drank."

"Surely they'll make Sasuke go this year." Sai ran a hand through his short hair. He wasn't wearing a hat and didn't have a hood on his coat, so there were snowflakes caught up in it. "It's typical for the Junior class student council president to announce the king and queen."

He couldn't really say. Sasuke didn't often talk about what he did on student council. At least to him. He knew more about it from talking to Kayla than anything.

"Maybe." Naruto gazed up at the sky. "Maybe he'll ask Kayla to do it."

"Not if she's on court," Sai replied. "There's a good chance you'll end up on stage next year, too."

"Me?" Naruto reached over and dusted the snow from Sai's hair. "You look like you've got dandruff, man. You shoulda brought a hat."

"When you do things like that, you might give me the wrong idea." Sai smirked.

"Everything I do gives you the wrong idea," he replied.

Sai laughed. "If you were me, I think you'd understand why. I got the message loud and clear, don't worry. I see you as a friend, and only a friend… mostly."

"Mostly?" Naruto was smiling as he bumped into him. "What does that mean? Maybe I'm afraid to ask."

"You probably shouldn't, but what I think about in my own head is my business."

"Jeez, man." Naruto scrunched his nose, laughing again. "It's those rumors, huh? That just sets me up for a major letdown. What if I can't live up to everybody's expectations?"

"Somehow I doubt that would be a problem," Sai murmured.

"Shut up. Keep movin'."

Embarrassed, he glanced toward the front of the line, rubbing his hand down his face.

"Are you flustered?" Sai asked. "This is a pretty cute side to you, too. Maybe you and Sasuke fought over who was the most attractive? Did he start a fight because you're more popular than him now?"

"Am I?" Naruto voiced sarcastically. "Sasuke doesn't care about shit like that. He may have a temper, but nah. That's one thing I can say about him… besides his dad, and maybe Itachi… he doesn't give a crap what people think. I like that about him, always have. Always will."

"Strong words of praise now. I can't keep track of this love/hate relationship."

"Yeah, neither can I," he mumbled.

Finally, they reached the entrance. They handed over their tickets, and got their hands stamped. It was already loud and crowded inside the entranceway. There was a room for coats, so Naruto paid for the both of them, just so they wouldn't have to drag their shit around everywhere.

"Where do you wanna go first?" Naruto had to shout. "I can barely move."

"Bar?" Sai suggested. "With any luck, we'll meet someone who's willing to buy us a drink. You can use that Uzumaki charm of yours."

"Heh. Yeah, we'll see about that. Alright then. To the bar it is."

* * *

Sasuke was backstage with the rest of the band, tuning his guitar and trying to help with last-minute soundchecks. He was usually the one stuck doing a lot of the technical set ups for his other bands, but Rin, along with her bandmates, knew what they were doing, so he thought it best to stay out of their way. He did peek around from the side of the stage to check out the crowd, and was surprised by the turnout considering the snow. The place was packed–mostly young women–but there were guys out there. Tonight, he was proudly sporting the t-shirt Rin had snagged for him. He hoped he'd manage to drag in a few of the 2,000+ people following him on Twitter.

Setting his guitar aside, he walked over to the bassist, Fuu. She had pale green hair that was pulled back in a ponytail and tied with a red and white polka dot bandana.

"Hey," he said. "Do you know where Rin went?"

"She always disappears before a show," Fuu replied. "She's probably out by the bar or trying to meet up with fans. She says she gets really nervous, so talking with people helps her relax."

Sasuke nodded. "It's not as if we're going on first. It's fine. I'll ask her later."

The opening band was heading to the stage, so everyone in #Feminist tried to get out of their way. Their set would last 30 minutes. Once they finished, Rin's band would need 15 minutes to set up their instruments, and then Sasuke would be making his debut as a singer. Luckily, last night had relaxed him, even if he was trying to keep it out of his mind. He hadn't realized how angry he was, and playing angry wasn't really what he liked to do, especially when other people were depending on him not to fuck up. If there were high expectations, he preferred to rise to the occasion rather than disappoint.

While he and the band were walking to the back room where there were drinks and snacks, he grabbed his phone from his pocket, wanting to check Twitter to see what people were saying. He scrolled through the comments, replying to a few. Before the end of the night, he'd have to remember to get a photo with the whole band to put on his website. He also considered seeing what Naruto was up to, but after how last night unfolded, he decided against it. Naruto was out with Sai somewhere, probably going to a club like usual. He hung out with more gay men than Sasuke did. If Naruto were actually gay, he would've been worried about some stiff competition. Not that he had to worry about it any longer.

In the back room, Sasuke grabbed a bottled water from the cooler. The drummer offered him a shot of vodka, which led to the four of them sharing an impromptu toast. Together, they took their pre-show shots. It wasn't great for his voice to have alcohol before singing, but one shot wouldn't kill him, and it might burn off some of this nervousness he was feeling. He wondered what Rin was up to having been gone so long. Yagura did the same sometimes, wandering off before a show, but there was no comparison. Rin was easy to work with. So, rather than worry about her, Sasuke decided to chill for a while, run through the set in his mind, and start psyching himself up for the performance.

* * *

While Sai left to go find them a table, Naruto was hanging around the bar, trying to score a couple of waters. The line was long since the bar ran right up against the merchandise table. Naruto glanced at the t-shirts, considering buying one. For a second, he thought about buying one for Sasuke since he liked collecting shirts from local bands, but he had to remember they weren't speaking. Would've made a nice Christmas present, too. That's something he hadn't considered. Weird to be fighting with a former best friend around Christmas, but he didn't see any hope of reconciliation before then.

He wondered what Sasuke was up to and debated checking his social media, but Naruto had been trying to avoid cyberstalking him, even blocking him on a couple of posts because… he didn't know why. Sasuke barely posted anything on his personal stuff anyway, so if he was out, it was with some of his bandmates or Itachi's friends.

Who knows, maybe he was in the process of getting laid while Naruto was here staring at #Feminist shirts and thinking about him. Made him feel a little pathetic, really.

"Hey, are you in line, or are you just staring at the merchandise from a safe distance?"

Naruto blinked at the young woman in front of him and almost immediately flushed because he'd totally just checked her out. She was hot. Brown hair, but it had some red in it. She had on these black high-waisted shorts, ripped stockings, white shirt with a tribal design, red leather jacket, and an adorable black beanie. He had an impulse to snag it off her head. The red lipstick looked good on her, too.

"I was getting some water," he stammered out. "Sorry, I'll move up. I was wonderin' if I should buy one of the shirts for a, uh, friend of mine. Not sure if he'd want it, I guess."

"I was only kidding," she replied. "But if you buy one, it sure would help out the band."

"Okay. Yeah. I'll probably get one after the show. For me, at least."

"Get two," she replied, smiling widely at him. "One for you and one for your boyfriend."

"Oh… no. He's not…" Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "Not my boyfriend. Maybe ex-friend is the term. Hence the debate."

"Ah, I see. I didn't want to assume either way, but we don't get a lot of straight guys at our shows if you can imagine that."

"'We'?" He asked.

"Is this your first time?" Naruto must've made a face because she rolled her eyes (in a cute way). "I mean at _one of our shows_. I'm Rin. Lead singer of the band you came to see."

"Holy shit." Naruto put up his hand in placation. "I'm so sorry. I feel like a dick. I should probably know that."

"It's okay. Why would you know me if you've never seen us play? It's kind of nice, really. I nearly got mobbed over by the merch table."

"I actually know some of the local bands pretty well, but it was my other friend who suggested comin' tonight, and I didn't do any research… oh man, I feel really embarrassed. Please don't think I'm a total dumbass. I'm really stoked to see your show tonight."

"It's _really_ okay. I promise." She gave him a flirty little pat on the chest. "You're helping me out. I get anxious before a show, and we've changed our setlist for tonight, so I'm nervous. I ran away from my band to talk to people out here. Always makes me feel better."

He chuckled. "That's kind of interesting. Usually you'd think musicians need to go somewhere quiet to chill out. I have a friend–er... "

"Your ex-friend?" She supplied.

"Yeah, sorry. That keeps comin' up, doesn't it? He plays sometimes, too. With other bands in town."

"Really? I might know him if you told me his name."

"Nah. It's okay. It was a weird thing to keep bringing up. I'm Naruto, by the way." He held out his hand, which she shook. "It's nice to meet you, Rin. Can I… get you a water or something? Under 21," Naruto showed off his underage bracelet to her. "So. Can't offer to get you anything better."

"That's alright. I get everything for free, and we have stuff backstage. I'd invite you, but it's chaotic back there. The girls would think it's funny you didn't recognize me."

"I said I was sorry." He hung his head in shame. "Out of curiosity, why did you change your setlist for tonight?"

Rin placed a hand on his shoulder. "We had to replace one of our girls since she got food poisoning, but our sub is really talented, so I kinda wanted to do something different, y'know? Take advantage of the situation."

"Oh, cool. What does she play? I'll keep an eye out."

Rin smirked. "Naruto, did you know men can be feminists, too?"

"Uh, yeah? I'd like to think I'm supportive of women's rights?"

"I mean, we have a guy playing tonight. He'll be on guitar. He's singing, too."

"Huh. Yeah, my friend definitely doesn't sing. Only guitar or bass that I've seen, but he's really awesome on the piano or keyboard. I've heard him on drums, too."

"Interesting. I'd like to hear more about your friend. Or, _whatever_ ," she added playfully. "Maybe one of my bandmates knows him. But, I need to head backstage. He's kinda OCD about time, so I'm sure I have him worried. Hey, though." Rin pulled out a couple of tickets from her jacket pocket. "These are for free drinks. So, if you can get rid of that wristband, or have someone else who can order alcohol. I won't need them. I'm sure we'll celebrate plenty after the show."

Naruto took them and stuck them in his pocket. "I mean… will you be around after the show?"

"I'll be around," she replied, "With the band."

"Ah, sorry." He laughed sheepishly and rubbed his neck, leaving his hand there. "I just… you kinda do look familiar. I wonder if I've seen you at a show before?"

"It's possible." She shrugged. "I was with another band, all guys and me as lead vocals, but we broke up once they graduated. The girls and I have been together for six months now?"

It was finally his turn to order his water. He asked her again if she wanted something. Actually, he wasn't sure why she was in line since she didn't need anything. She could talk to anyone if she wanted to–not that he wasn't happy to help. After he got his two waters, they chatted for a while longer. About where she was from, some stuff about music. He found out she was 19, attending University of Washington, had three tattoos, and two hidden piercings besides the ones in her ears and belly-button. Luckily, she showed that last one off to him. Brazen girl, and he really did like outgoing women.

"What about you?" She asked. "Any tattoos or piercings?"

"Nope." He shook his head. "I'm perfectly pure of body."

"Yeah, right." She laughed and gave him a light slap on his arm. "You do look like a good boy to me, but those are the ones who usually turn out to be bad."

"Ah, do you prefer bad boys then?" Naruto asked.

"Do _you_?"

"This again, hm?" He leaned against the bar. "Between you and me, who knows? I think I'd prefer someone who's nice to me when it counted, supported me in my choices–at least the less than stupid ones, and sometimes even in the stupid ones. Smart but not an egomaniac. Amusing..."

"I think that's all anybody wants," Rin replied. "Smart, funny, nice… can hold a conversation. But, it doesn't matter to me whether it's a man or woman. Being hot helps, though."

Naruto took in this information quietly. "Being hot can help. ...Sure."

She stared at him, almost expectantly, as if she wanted him to make a move. Though, he was apparently mistaken because _she_ suddenly grabbed for _his_ hand.

"Naruto, I don't do this very often. Although, sayin' that feels like a cliche out of a romance comedy. But, you seem cool. You know about the music scene, too, without being a musician, which is kinda refreshing. Even if you didn't know I was the singer," she teased, "I'd like to give you my number."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. God, you are _so_ cute. I'm glad I ran into you before the show." She pulled out a marker from her pocket and scribbled a number on the back of his hand.

"It's not a fake number, is it?" He asked. "I'm gonna be disappointed if I call and it's Pagliacci Pizza."

Rin laughed really hard, nearly causing one of the numbers to smear. "I love their pizza. You wouldn't be disappointed."

"Fair enough."

She finished, capped her marker, and returned it to her pocket. Rin stared at him, and abruptly caught him up in a hug.

"Thanks for talking to me," she said. "It helped. If I do bump into you after the show, I'll give you a couple free shirts. For your guy friend. Maybe it'll help you two reconcile, hm? Enjoy the show!"

He watched her make her way toward the stage, where the opening band was setting up their gear. Naruto didn't know what to think, but he was flattered as he stared at her number. She was hot. She was funny. She was in a band. She was sexy as hell, and thinking about her being bi was… interesting for him. As a guy, hard not to ponder various scenarios for at least a few minutes. Not that he was _looking_ to date. Likely, she'd only done it on a whim or to be polite.

Naruto, holding the bottles to his chest, took out his phone to see if Sai had texted him. He'd found a table on the upper level, which meant he now had to climb the stairs. At least the night had been eventful already, and now that he'd met the lead singer, there was more of a reason to stick around. Musicians were interesting, really. Sasuke, when he wasn't performing, was fairly reserved. Maybe less so when they hung out, but usually he kept to himself unless necessity demanded he speak out. On stage, however, he was like a different person, and it was hard not to admire him. Even before he realized he had feelings for his best friend–seeing Sasuke perform live… well. It _did_ seem like the nights he went to see Sasuke play always ended with the two of them fooling around because he was just so confident. He probably knew how good he looked up on stage, too. Maybe that's why he was always dragging Naruto with him.

Wouldn't be a problem anymore now that Naruto had no intention of going to any more of his shows. If he did, he'd just get sucked back in… and Sasuke, well, he _wasn't_ nice. They'd fuck around. It would be great. But then Sasuke would find another way to hurt him, push him away, and break his heart. Heading up the stairs, he took in a deep breath. Maybe running into Rin had been a sign? That the universe wanted him to move on. At least going on vacation meant he would avoid seeing him nearly every day in the halls or in class. It was obviously hard to get him out of his head considering it always felt like Sasuke was coming up in conversation whether he wanted him to or not. Thankfully, Sasuke wasn't here tonight, and that made him feel relieved. He spotted Sai, sitting at a high top table, and as he started to wave, caught the unwanted attention of one very familiar face. Naruto, hoping he hadn't just made eye contact with him, walked swiftly to the table. He thought he was in the clear until an arm slinked around his shoulders.

"Don't act like you didn't see me," Yagura said in his ear. "Is this your new boyfriend?" He gestured toward Sai, who was about five feet away and, hopefully, couldn't hear them. "My now. Doesn't he look just a little too much like Sasuke?"

"Shut up," he replied. "And don't bring that up around him. Sasuke's not out at school."

Yagura dragged him closer, and Naruto could smell the liquor on his breath. "I'm surprised to see you at a show given I heard you and Sasuke suffered a nasty breakup."

Naruto glared. "Can you fuck off. I just wanna have a nice night out with my friend."

"Hold on." Yagura pulled out his phone and answered it. "Tch. I'll be right back."

Naruto shoved him off and went to sit at the table with Sai.

"What was that about?" Sai asked as Naruto handed him one of the waters.

"Just some asshole," Naruto replied.

"Really? Looks like you knew him." Sai made a face. "Is he gay? Seemed kind of hot to me."

* * *

Sasuke was still in the back room with the others when Rin came in, looking as if she were in an especially good mood. He didn't question it as every singer had their own way of dealing with nerves. It was far less worrisome than Yagura's habits, which tended to include alcohol, drugs, and hooking up with fangirls. Sasuke kept playing with him because, despite his bad habits, he had an amazing stage persona and never let any of those things get in the way of his singing.

"What's up with you?" Fuu asked as Rin went to the food table to grab a veggie sandwich. "You're all smiley and glowing."

Rin shrugged before hopping onto the end of the table. "It's nothing. Gave a boy my number. He was cute and fun to talk to, so I thought why not?"

"Your _real_ number? Why would you do that? He could be a stalker!"

"I doubt it. He didn't even know I was the singer. Said he came here with a friend. It was so cute! He was debating getting a shirt, and–" She waved her hand. "Not important. Should we find an inconspicuous spot to watch the band?"

"I think Sasuke had a question for you." Fuu pointed at him.

He was on the love seat, playing a couple of bars on the guitar. It was always either annoying or amusing to listen to women talk about men. Since he liked Rin, he leaned toward amusing since he was fond of her–in a little sister kind of way. Even if she was older than him. Also, what kind of idiot wouldn't know he'd bumped into the lead singer of the band he'd come to see? He'd say Naruto, but even _he_ wasn't that dumb. Sasuke had taught him better than that.

"What's up?" Rin asked, removing her jacket and fanning herself. "It's getting hot. I should've grabbed a water when I had the chance."

Sasuke set his guitar to the side. "I'll get you one. You don't want to get dehydrated."

She followed him to one of the coolers. "Are you one of those guitarists who likes to take care of the singer? You don't have to do that. You're the one doing us a favor."

He picked out a bottle and handed it to her. "I think it makes sense for me to make sure everyone plays their best."

"You seem to do a good job of keeping Yagura under control," she remarked. "I hear he's hard to handle. I thought I saw him out there earlier."

"Did you?" He raised an eyebrow. "He might've seen my post."

"It's fine. He wouldn't recognize me if he saw me either, I bet. But he's nowhere near as hot as this guy I met. I bet even you would've liked him." She grinned.

"You never know," he replied, just to humor her.

"I told him I'd be around after the show. Do you have plans afterward? We're going to Fuu's house. I think we'll be too beat to go out. Plus, the weather is looking like it's going to snow some more. I know you have a long commute home."

"I have somewhere I can crash." He smiled coyly. "Why don't you ask your new friend to hang out with you?"

"Maybe I will if I see him." She knocked her small fist against his chest. "Seemed like he might already be involved. Kept talking about some 'friend' in that ambiguous way shy bi boys do. I used to play that pronoun game."

"Then maybe you _should_ introduce me," he teased. "And he was hot, you say?"

"Like I'm going to tell you." She tsked at him and wagged a finger. "I saw him first, Sasuke. You already have your pick of the guys, so let me have this _one_. Not that I'm being serious, but it helps to have a boost of confidence before the show."

"It'll be fine. You're one of the strongest vocalists I've seen."

"Really?" Rin flashed him an incredible smile and rubbed the back of her head.

"Where did you get that habit?"

"What habit?" She asked.

"The way you rub your head like that when you're embarrassed."

"Oh." Rin frowned, and started to look self-conscious. "I didn't know–"

He placed his hand on her head. "No, don't stop doing it. It's… _cute_. Now, go drink some water, relax, and we'll go on in about," Sasuke checked his watch, "Twenty-five minutes. Sound good?"

"Yep. I'm ready." She uncapped her water and gulped it down. Afterward, she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. "I think this is gonna be one of the best shows we've ever played. Thanks again for helping out. I really appreciate it, and I won't forget it."

"It's no problem," he said and meant it. "I'm always happy to help out a fellow musician."

* * *

"Oh, by the way." Naruto dug out those drink tickets Rin had given him. "That girl I met handed me these. If I had my ID I'd get us some from the bar."

"I have mine," Sai told him, taking the tickets from his fingers.

"What? Why didn't you tell me that earlier!"

"You told me to get a table. I thought you'd chat the bartender up like you usually do. Why didn't you ask this Rin chick since she's the singer? She probably gets all kinds of stuff for free."

"She gave us the tickets, didn't she? Sheesh. Bastard." He glanced at the stage.

"Do you want me to get us something before people swarm the bar in between shows?"

He shrugged. "S'up to you. There's gonna be a line no matter what."

"I'll go." Sai got to his feet. "What do you want? Vodka and Coke?"

"Yeah." Naruto grinned that he remembered. "Sounds good."

"So predictable." Sai swatted him upside the head. "Don't get into any trouble while I'm gone."

Naruto flipped him off, but when Sai left, he moved his chair closer to the railing. He searched the crowd on the floor, looking for familiar faces. It was too dark to make anyone out, but the ratio of men to women was still skewed in his favor. It looked like double the amount of people had come in since they'd arrived. He almost wanted to go down there so that they could be part of the action.

After the band had already started, Naruto wondered if Sai was ever going to come back. They were decent, mostly grunge covers and some rock. It wasn't until 30 minutes later that he finally spotted Sai heading his way, drinks in hand.

"Jesus, did you get lost?" Naruto asked. "It's almost time for Rin's band to play."

Sai held out his drink for him, but seemed disgruntled about something. Naruto took the drink, eyeing him curiously.

"What's up?" He asked.

Sai sat down, looking grim. "I ran into your friend downstairs. The good looking one? Yagura or whatever his name is."

"Okay." Naruto gulped. "And what did he say?" Yagura was a dick, but he wouldn't out Sasuke, and if he had, Naruto would go find him and beat the shit out of him.

"Just that he plays with Sasuke. He knows you. But, there's something else."

Naruto became even more nervous. "W-what did he say?"

"Take a drink of that first." Sai inched it closer. "Ah, the band's coming out." He picked up his drink–a Long Island Iced Tea, and sipped, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Why are you bein' weird? Did he say somethin' strange to you?"

"No." Sai shrugged. "Just that–"

Before he could answer, the crowd roared and clapped as #Feminist band members began to take the stage. Naruto glanced at them and then Sai again, but his friend waved a dismissive hand. Now, he was going to be worried that Sai knew Sasuke's secret and was also pissed at him for lying about it this entire time. The lights on the upper floor were blacked out while the main lights lit up the stage in blue. At first, it was just the drummer and keyboardist who came out, along with some crew, to set up their instruments and equipment. In the meantime, recorded music played through the speakers, "Doll Parts" by Hole. Of course the audience went wild and sang along.

"Wow, the energy really shifted in this place, didn't it?" He asked aloud, not expecting an answer because he doubted Sai could hear.

A third member walked out, short and with a light shade of neon green hair. The bass guitar player? He only knew her name because the audience kept chanting "Fuu". Apparently, they were a lot more popular than he'd realized. Five minutes went by before the lights dimmed, and the music coming from the speakers died. Seconds later, the whole place erupted into loud screams when Rin swaggered onto the stage and picked up her guitar from the nearby stand.

"Hey, everybody. How are you doin' tonight?" She shouted.

Rin was greeted by a clatter of applause and more screaming. The spunky singer looked even cuter from up here. She'd taken off that red jacket she was wearing earlier.

"As you know, our sister Kamui couldn't make it tonight, so we brought in someone a few of you might know from another popular band. So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce our guest guitarist. Not to brag, but I _somehow_ managed to get him to make his singing debut tonight."

There were catcalls in the audience. It sounded like a lot of their fans already knew who it was, so the band must've announced it before tonight. Naruto wondered if he'd recognize him.

"If you could put your hands together for Seattle's own budding musician and aspiring producer… Sasuke Uchiha."

Not only did all the girls on the floor start screaming obscenely when Sasuke appeared on stage, but Naruto nearly dropped and spilled his drink everywhere. He glanced, wide-eyed, at Sai.

"So, Sasuke's apparently playing with them tonight," Sai confirmed.

Now that he knew why Sai had looked so uncomfortable, his first inclination was to leave. He even got to his feet. Why would Sasuke play with a girl band, and when the _fuck_ did he start singing on stage?

"Do you want to go?" Sai asked.

Rin was still talking with the crowd as Sasuke strapped on his guitar. Naruto finally decided to stay and sat down again. It's not as if he had much choice when all of the band members, having taken their places, abruptly started playing at the cue of flashing lights. The first song turned out to be a high-energy girl punk song. The drummer was going insane while Rin took hold of the mic. Sasuke played next to her, the lights catching the look of concentration on his face. Bouncing along with the epileptic beat of the song, Rin swayed from side to side as she belted out the lyrics.

" _I'm sick of this mess. Fed up with the stress. Won't you help me out. Bail me out of here_!"

The fans on the floor were jumping around, slamming into each other. Someone was already being carried across the crowd, above everyone's heads.

" _Complaining is so easy when we stand beside the suffering. Sleep with our regrets and wake up with the fears. Hanging on to our necks, hanging on, what's next_?"

The song was almost over before it began, but by the end, the crowd was going crazy. Naruto, half-jealous, was able to catch the smile Rin and Sasuke shared afterward.

"Sasuke Uchiha on guitar," Rin said again, smiling and clapping.

Never one to like the spotlight, Sasuke merely nodded in response to the crowd's applause. The drummer hit her drumsticks over her head, and just like that, they were on their second song.

Sasuke led with the guitar riff, Rin joined him, and then the bassist, Fuu.

Rin sang: " _Each day I dig my own grave in hopes my sanity will be saved. After everyone and everything has let me down. I sink into the sorrow that holds me a slave."_

Everyone, even Sasuke, joined her for the chorus. Then the final verses were all Rin. There was a brief break after the second song, and Sasuke handed Rin a bottle of water. She wiped some sweat from her brow.

"Wow, huh? We're all gettin' a real workout tonight, aren't we?" She pumped her fist. "Are we havin' a great time still?"

The crowd answered her with screams. Someone threw what looked to be a stuffed heart onto the stage.

"Okay, so I know they say there aren't any _cities to love_ ," Rin said, hinting at the next song.

The crowd responded with more eardrum-shattering screaming.

"But, maybe Sleater-Kinney would feel differently if they were from Seattle instead of Olympia?"

A deafening roar shook the room at the mention of their hometown. Even Sai was getting into it. Naruto shot him a curious look. He seemed to be having a great time, which was surprising.

The next song Naruto knew because he'd heard Sasuke play it a million times. As much as he kept trying to focus on Rin, it was hard not to let his gaze wander over to him. Every movement he made, everything he did was so precise. This had always been Sasuke's element, and Naruto admired him for it. Envied him even.

"Sasuke sounds really good, doesn't he?" Sai shouted. "You'd never know this is the same stuck up guy we see at school. He looks hot up there."

Naruto glared, but it's not like he could disagree. After the third song, Naruto's heart leapt through his chest when he saw both Sasuke and Rin take their place in front of the mics. A crew member came from off-stage to bring him his acoustic guitar. Sasuke placed the Fender on the stand.

"So, if you'll indulge me," Rin said, "I've got a soft spot for this band. This song, Sasuke and I practiced so that we could make it a little folksy." She turned to him. "You sure you want to do this? There's still a chance to bail if you want to."

The audience blurted out "Noooooooo."

Naruto smirked. Like Sasuke would back down from a challenge like that. Also, if he didn't know any better, he would've sworn Rin was flirting with the dark-haired teen. If Naruto had learned anything, though, it was that Sasuke always took good care of his bandmates. Even obnoxious ones like Yagura. If they had talent, Sasuke remained fairly loyal.

Maybe if he'd been a musician, Sasuke would've treated him better?

"The fans have spoken." Rin gestured at the crowd. "You can't get away from us now."

Sasuke offered a modest wave. Incidentally, he also took a second to use the collar of his shirt to wipe some sweat from his face, so when he revealed the slightest bit of his stomach to the girls in the front, a shrill series of squeals ensued.

"Bastard's probably doin' it on purpose," he muttered.

Staff brought out two chairs. Sasuke took a seat and settled the guitar on his lap. Rin sat next to him. The main spotlight surrounded them. A smaller one lit up the keyboardist in the back. Sasuke, strumming a few times, worked on tuning the guitar while Fuu brought over a shaker for Rin to use during the song.

She giggled into the mic. "Now I feel like I'm the one who's nervous. Do you know how intimidating it is to play with you, Sasuke? I've got goosebumps."

Sasuke covered the mic as he responded to her. Whatever he said caused her to bust out laughing again. A few people at the front caught his response, too, because they laughed, as well. It had Naruto wishing he really was up front. Sasuke looked so damn happy that it made his chest feel momentarily light. He almost forgot about all the shit happening with them and just… felt excited and proud of him. Naruto was dying to hear him sing on stage.

"So, this is a cover of Oh Wonder's 'Drive'," Rin said, taking in a deep breath.

The room went silent as the keyboardist started to play. Fifteen seconds in, Sasuke's and Rin's voices joined to create this ridiculously light and pure pop-folk harmony.

" _Sat back with the window down. Eighty an hour and the radio loud. The same songs with the same old rhymes. Tell me to shake it off and swing from the lights_."

Sasuke began playing while they continued to sing in tandem.

" _I can't help but drive away from all the mess you made. You sent this hurricane, now it won't go away. And I promised I'd be there, but you don't make it easy. Darling, please believe me_."

They sang the chorus together, and it set goosebumps all along Naruto's arms.

"' _Cause loving you, loving you is too_ hard _. All I do, all I do's not_ enough _. Loving you, loving you. I cannot be loving you, loving you... Loving you, loving you leaves me_ hurt _. All I do, all I do is get_ burnt _. Loving you, loving you. I cannot be loving you, loving you_..."

When they reached the second verse, he folded his arms atop the rail, and set his chin down. Naruto focused on Sasuke's face while he played, his dark eyes cast downward at first, but when he looked up at the balcony, Naruto inhaled sharply.

" _Count stacks of the routine lies. Funny how easy you could see my blindside. Still the same songs with the same old beats. Sure I could stay, but there's a place I'd rather be. And I can't help but drive away from all the mess you made. You sent this hurricane, now it won't go away. And I promised I'd be there, but you don't make it easy. Darling, please believe me_."

They sang the chorus a second time, Rin taking up the shaker as they harmonized in soft, soulful voices.

" _I remember all the times you_ made _me_ covered _in crazy. I can't forget about the way you_ played _me. Like I was never gonna change your world. It ended long ago. So, please just let me go_."

The two of them sang the chorus for the last time, the tempo gradually growing faster, their voices louder. Sasuke's voice sounded especially amazing, fragile even. It was weird he could sing so earnestly and emotionally about love. Where the hell was that _tenderness_ coming from?

" _Loving you, loving you is too_ hard _. All I do, all I do's not_ enough _. Loving you, loving you. I cannot be loving you, loving you. Loving you, loving you leaves me_ hurt _. All I do, all I do is get_ burnt _. Loving you, loving you… I cannot be loving you, loving you_ …"

The lines repeated, their voices fading at the end. It was quiet for 10 seconds, and then there was an eruption of applause. Naruto wasn't aware he had tears in his eyes until he was reaching to wipe them away. It was too close to home for him. How could Sasuke _sing_ like that, but leave him so heartbroken all the time? It didn't make sense. It made him feel foolish, stupid even. Like there was this part of Sasuke he didn't know at all or wasn't privy to.

"Naruto?"

Naruto glanced at Sai, having nearly forgotten he was there. He couldn't recall if he'd kept his emotions in check during the song. Had he given himself away?

"You alright?" Sai asked.

Weakly, he nodded and, seeing that Sai hadn't finished his drink, reached across to steal it. Naruto drank what was left in the time it took for the crew to remove the chairs from the stage. Meanwhile, Sasuke picked up his Fender and slid its red strap over his shoulder. It made Naruto recall the times Sasuke had tried to teach him to play–pressing his fingers to the strings, teaching him chords, playing for him at the house when they were bored at night.

While the band took up their next positions, the overhead lights turned blinding and chaotic again. A heavy baseline split the quiet, followed by the keyboard, Sasuke on guitar, and then the drummer.

Rin sang into the mic, an eerie, higher-pitched hum. Under a soft white light, Sasuke stepped up to the mic, and for the first time, led the vocals for a song. Naruto held his breath in anticipation, captivated by how calm he looked.

" _It's not enough that I love you,"_ he sang _. "There's all these things I have to prove to you_."

His voice was raspy, confident, and sexy as fuck.

"You _use the sun to erase the past, but you think it only raises for you_."

Sasuke closed his eyes after the last line.

" _Well I'm afraid of being hurt, that's true_. _But not afraid of any physical pain. Just as I am always scared of water, but not afraid of standing out in the rain_."

Rin came to Sasuke's side, joining him on guitar and vocals for the next verse. The lights flashed at the stroke of Sasuke's guitar. The drums and background vocals accompanied Sasuke's singing as he shifted back and forth in front of the mic, moving to the heavy beat of the song. The spotlight was on him again while everyone else played in the shadows. Sasuke's deep, scratchy vocals made the chorus sound so damn erotic. It didn't help that he saw the way Sasuke's free hand traveled below his shirt, lifting it up to reveal a flash of pale skin.

" _I know that you_ want _more, but would you_ fight for _my love? And I've hurt you_ before _, but can you_ ignore _my love?"_

Naruto licked his lips. He could never deny how much bottled up passion lay inside Sasuke. Obviously he'd seen it manifest in _other_ ways that had nothing to do with playing on stage.

" _You're walking out my_ back _door, looking_ back _for my love! I know that you_ want _more, but would you fight for my_ love?"

Another light shone on Fuu as the hard bassline came in again and repeated. Then the keyboard, synth, and operatic background vocals followed.

" _People do their best to not let passion begin. It's dead before it has a chance to start. And so there I am, the caretaker of sin. To your abandoned and malignant heart_."

The lights surrounded the drummer while she played at an increased tempo. The crowd began jumping up and down with the beat, forming an impromptu mosh pit.

" _It's such a pleasure, to sing with you together. Making love when there is nobody home. But I can't kiss you 'til you lift up your chin. You have to want to stop being alone_."

Rin sang more of those eerie high-pitched vocals that echoed throughout the room.

Sasuke sang, stomping his foot with the rhythm. "I want you to fight for my love."

The rest of the band members joined with him on the vocals.

"I want you to fight for my _love_."

"I want you to fight for _my love_."

If there were people still sitting, they weren't anymore. Everyone was clapping and screaming. The lights darkened. Rin was grinning happily as she clapped along with the audience. She gestured to Sasuke, giving him all of the credit for the song. Finally, Sasuke did make a shallow bow, but he was quick to retreat from the spotlight. Rin reached for her bottled water, drank, and tossed it to Sasuke. Part of him still felt so proud to know him, but when he really thought about it, it made him feel like… Sasuke was a stranger somehow, had always been a stranger, and now was even more distant from him than ever before. While the crowd continued to clap and yell, Naruto abruptly got to his feet.

"Can we go now?" He asked.

Sai nodded, but Naruto didn't wait. He blindly made his way to the stairs. Everything was so loud and hot. His head felt dizzy, and sweat was breaking out all over his skin. He needed to get out of here as soon as possible. The path to the exit was blocked by the people on the floor. He had to push his way through just to get past. Behind him, he could hear Rin compliment Sasuke again. Everybody always complimented Sasuke. He could do no wrong, after all.

Naruto forgot they'd checked their coats, so it wasn't until he was outside that he realized it was snowing and cold. Sai came out shortly after with their coats. He tossed Naruto his, and, quickly, he put it on, zipping it all the way to his chin.

He took in a deep breath, holding his hands to his cheeks.

"Are you okay?" Sai asked, placing a hand on his upper arm.

He had the urge to step away from the contact, but, overwhelmed by intense feelings of sadness and regret, he turned around to face him. Naruto threw himself at Sai, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in the other boy's shoulder. His body shuddered while tears streamed down his cheeks. Uncontrollably, he sobbed.

"Naruto," Sai spoke into his ear. "What the hell is going on? What happened?"

Naruto shook his head, too choked up to respond.

"What do you want to do?" Sai's hand covered the back of his head.

"Get me out of here," he replied hoarsely. "Take me home. Get me drunk. Please."

"Alright," said Sai. "Let's get you home then."

Naruto removed himself from the embrace and pulled up the hood of his coat, wiping furiously at his eyes. Sai settled a hand on his lower back, guiding him in the direction of the car. Thankfully, he didn't ask any questions and left him to his thoughts. Hearing Sasuke sing... it suddenly occurred to him just how insignificant he might be to Sasuke.

There was also this part of him wondering if he'd given up on him too soon? When Sasuke said no, should he have fought him on it? He didn't know anymore, what was right or wrong or what he should do or what to think about Sasuke. Maybe he'd been correct in thinking he was only a fuck buddy to him, and when Sasuke realized Naruto wasn't going to put out, or when it dawned on him Naruto wanted _more_ from him than sex, Sasuke's rejection had been his way of telling him to fuck off. He felt so naive and foolish. He'd been the one who'd talked in the beginning about high school romances–how unrealistic it all was. Then, what did he end up doing? He'd fallen in love with Sasuke and confessed!

But confessing had been the _right_ thing to do. In his heart, he knew it wasn't wrong to feel this way or to be honest about it. It's how he _felt_. He'd thought Sasuke felt something similar for him, but, apparently, he was wrong. So, it hurt to hear him sing about love and to know he was capable of those feelings, but they weren't meant for him and never would be.

All the more reason he needed to hurry up and accept the fact Sasuke not only didn't want a relationship, he didn't _love_ him. At least not the way he did Sasuke. Eventually, he'd need to just get over it.

It wasn't Sasuke's fault he didn't see him that way, it was his own fault for thinking that he ever could.

* * *

TBC

Please remember to **review** about the chapter! Thanks.

Setlist

1.) Not on Tour, "Sick of this Mess"  
2.) Devotchkas, "My Scars"  
3.) Sleater-Kinney, "No Cities to Love"  
4.) Oh Wonder, "Drive" (acoustic)  
5.) Jack White, "Would You Fight for My Love?"


	4. Act I: In A Manner Of Speaking

a/n: Thanks to the two folks who recently sent me Starbuck's e-cards. It makes my writing habit more affordable.

* * *

 _Dedicated to netamashii._

* * *

The rush of adrenaline in his body was still pretty high as Sasuke assisted in clearing off the stage and packing up. Friends (mostly female) of the band had swarmed into the back area. There was even a journalist talking to Rin about the show. Sasuke wanted to avoid being interviewed, so he headed for the restroom, but before he could take more than a couple of steps, someone grabbed his arm and slung an arm around his shoulders.

"The fuck was that, Uchiha?" The low voice said in his ear. "Trying to take my spot in the band?"

Sasuke pushed Yagura off. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you were singing tonight, so I had to see it for myself," Yagura answered, pulling him into the corner where there weren't so many people.

"Well," he said, not opposed to hearing critique. "What did you think?"

"I think you looked and sounded confident. I'd even venture to say you looked kind of sexy." He tugged at a piece of Sasuke's hair. "For a guy. So, what are you doing after this? I hope not hanging out with a bunch of girls. You'd have a much better time with me."

"I don't know." Sasuke checked his watch. "I think I'm going to crash early. I was planning to stay at Jiroubou's, but we played later than I expected, so I might try to catch a bus home."

Yagura shrugged. "Crash at my place."

Sasuke, suspicious of his motives, raised an eyebrow.

"By the way, where's your boyfriend?" Yagura asked, glancing around the room. "Or, should I say your ex-boyfriend? Apparently he's moved on, huh? Although the guy he's with now could be your clone. That's sort of flattering, isn't it?"

Sasuke pushed him off so he wasn't hanging all over him. "What are you talking about?"

"Earlier tonight, he was up on the balcony. Saw him when I was talkin' to some chick."

"Naruto wouldn't come to a show like this, and I didn't tell him about it."

The singer laughed while slicking his hair behind an ear. "Apparently he thought you wouldn't come either 'cause when I ran into that friend of his downstairs, he was surprised you were playing. No worries, though. He stayed for at least half of the show before he booked it the hell out of here. So, do you wanna come to my place or not? We'll play some shit, get tanked."

Sasuke was still stuck on the fact Naruto had come to the show, watched him play, heard him sing - why did that make him feel embarrassed? A million things ran through his mind, but he couldn't quite figure out why Naruto would stay only to leave halfway through.

"Dammit," he muttered. "I need to find my phone."

Sasuke headed down the hall and toward the room where they stored all their personal things. Much to his annoyance, Yagura followed. He went to his bag and dug out his phone, turning it on to check if there were any messages from Naruto (it wasn't likely, but maybe he was pissed about something enough to call him). However, there were no texts or voicemails.

"Did you say anything to piss him off?" Sasuke asked.

"Fuck no. He told me to shut up about you because apparently that other kid from school doesn't know you're gay, but other than that. I talked to him for three seconds and got a phone call. Talked to that other kid, Sai or whatever, for 15 minutes, though. When he came downstairs during the other band's set to get some drinks. Kid had an attitude. I liked it, so I chatted him up for a while. But, I didn't give up your secret about being a homo, so don't sweat it."

"Thanks," he said dryly. "You're so thoughtful."

Sasuke stalked through some of Naruto's social media to see if he'd posted anything about him or the show. There was a single pic on Instagram of Naruto and Sai outside the venue. That meant Yagura was telling the truth about seeing him. Not that he had a reason to lie. Other than to piss him off.

"So, what is goin' on with you and that blond kid?" Yagura asked, watching Sasuke after he put his phone away and slipped off his shirt. It was drenched in sweat.

As he was putting on a clean one, Rin burst through the door but stopped when she saw him standing next to Yagura with his shirt off.

"Oh, sorry," she said. "I didn't - um… I can come back?"

Sasuke sighed. "I'm only changing shirts. Yagura, you know Rin. Rin, this is Yagura."

"Yes." Rin came in, but didn't extend a hand. "You have a great stage presence."

Yagura snorted. "I hope you don't think you can steal Sasuke away from me."

"I don't belong to you," Sasuke replied, gathering his things. He needed to grab his guitar, too.

"Hey, Sasuke," said Rin. "There's a reporter out there who wouldn't mind - "

"No, thanks," he said before she could finish.

"Yeah, he doesn't have time. He's coming home with me." Yagura cracked his knuckles and stretched his arms upward before folding them behind his head.

Sasuke thought he was in an obnoxious mood tonight. Even more so than usual.

Rin approached him. "Oh, okay. Hey… you didn't see a guy try to come back here… or ask for me or something?"

"I didn't." Sasuke smirked. "Is this that guy you gave your number to?"

"Who's this we're talkin' about?" Yagura asked. "Aw, did you meet a guy tonight, Rin?"

"None of your business," Rin replied. "He was my age or a year younger? Blond. Blue eyes. Nice smile. Your height. He was wearing jeans and a white, long-sleeved shirt?"

Shit.

He had a bad feeling about this. Sasuke, on a whim, pulled out his phone again and searched for that picture he'd just seen of Naruto and Sai. He showed it to her.

"Did he look like this?"

Rin looked at him excitedly "Yeah! That was him. Oh my God, you _know_ him?"

Yagura started laughing so hard Sasuke had to tell him to shut up.

"What's so funny?" Rin asked.

"I know him," Sasuke replied. "Yagura knows him, too."

"Yes, but Sasuke knows him _really_ well," Yagura added helpfully.

Sasuke glared. "Would you shut up and go grab my guitar? Don't fuck it up by dropping it either."

"Tch. Does this mean you're comin' to my place? Why the hell is a guitarist ordering a singer around anyway?" Yagura grumbled, but he looked as though he would go get it.

When he left, Rin grabbed hold of his arm. "So, you know him then? Naruto?"

Sasuke swiped his hair out of his eyes. He didn't know exactly what to say, but with her staring at him with those big brown eyes of hers, it's not like he could lie.

"Did he come to see you tonight? I mentioned having to sub someone in, but he acted like he didn't know about it. He didn't even know who I was…"

"He didn't," Sasuke answered, so that she wouldn't get the wrong idea. "He didn't know I was playing because I've never played with you or at this venue. I didn't know he was coming."

"Maybe he saw it online," she suggested. "That you'd be here."

"I doubt it." He shook his head. "I'm sorry if I messed up your opportunity to see him again."

"No, it's…" Rin smiled. "I don't even know him! But, you do, I guess. He goes to your school?"

"He's in my grade, yes," Sasuke replied carefully.

"He sort of hinted that… Um." Rin stared at him as if expecting him to read her mind.

"Hinted that what?" He asked. "What did he say."

"Unless he has a lot of friends in bands, I… think he was talking about you. I mean, I'm not making a big deal about this because, well, we talked for all of 10 minutes. But now that I know you know him, it's… He was staring at our shirts on the merch table." Rin laughed lightly, touching her fingers to her lips. "I just thought it was funny. I wondered what he was thinking about with an expression like that. I walked up behind him and made fun of him to break the ice. I guess I did expect for him to recognize me, but… he didn't."

"Sorry," he said. "I think he saw you perform once, but he'd been drinking. I should've trained him better…"

"No, no. I wasn't offended. I thought it was funny. But, he said that he was thinking about buying one for some friend, but that it was an _ex_ -friend." She threw her hands up in the air. "I feel stupid now, but I teased him about it being a boyfriend. At first, he said it was a friend. Then he almost sounded like it really _was_ more than a friend. I felt like he was confiding in me. It sounded like a break-up, and that he was… mad at you. I guess."

Rin was watching him for a reaction, even biting her lip like she was nervous what he'd say. Sasuke, however, was struggling with the thought of Naruto saying anything that would insinuate having a relationship with another boy. It made him curious.

"What exactly did he say, Rin?"

She shrugged. "I don't know if I should say. If he didn't know you were here or that I knew you, maybe he didn't want anyone to know."

"That's fine," he said. "If it makes you feel better, he and I never dated. He's not my boyfriend or my ex. We were close. Once."

"I feel silly now," she said. "I thought he was just some cute random boy I met before the show. It's no big deal."

Sasuke attempted a smile. "I'm sure he thought you were cute. Did he joke with you? Smile? Try to make you laugh?"

"Yeah… yes. He was very nice to me. Like I said, we didn't talk long."

"Then, he liked you. You never know. He may give you a call. He can be unpredictable."

"No, it's - Nevermind." She waved a hand dismissively. "He's your friend. Or, ex-friend. I don't know what he is, so I'll stay out of it, but you _stupid_ boys. Why are you fighting? Why is he mad? Shouldn't you call and make sure he's okay?" Rin pounded on his chest. "Sasuke! Don't be dumb."

He took hold of her wrist, squeezing it gently. "He's with a friend. I'm sure he's fine. If I called him, he wouldn't answer. I said things… that weren't so nice."

"Then apologize," she mumbled. "He looked so sad staring at those dumb shirts."

Sasuke let go of her arm. "He knows I collect them. I'm sure it was habit."

"Okay, well." Rin gave him a hug, and he allowed it. "I had a really good time playing with you tonight. I almost wanna tell you to leave Yagura. We'd treat you so much better, but I know we're not your style."

"I wouldn't put it that way," he replied. "That was the most fun I've had playing in a long, long while. If you need me again, you know where to find me."

"I guess I popped your singing cherry, huh? That makes me feel pretty special. You sure you don't want to hang with us tonight?" She asked, her fingers clinging onto the back of his shirt.

"I haven't decided what I'm doing, but I do need to crash somewhere, and my first choice texted me to say he's out for the evening. Going home would be a pain."

She took a step back, arms falling to her sides. "Call me if you change your mind. If Naruto ends up calling me, I'm going to tell him to call you, Sasuke. Because I know you're not a bad guy."

"What makes you say that?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"It's just a feeling. I'm sure you had your reasons. It's almost Christmas, and you're not supposed to fight with friends around then. Or, pseudo lovers, pseudo boyfriends, whatever the two of you are, but I do know you'd make a very sexy couple at least."

"Thanks." He grinned and pet her on the head. "Good to know."

"You've _kissed_ him, haven't you?" She asked suddenly, an accusing glint in her eyes. "It's so unfair! What's it like to be so hot that you're attracting straight men to you?"

"I didn't say anything of the sort," Sasuke replied right when Yagura reappeared in the doorway.

"Where's your case, asshole?" Yagura asked him, and spotting it on his own, went to put the guitar away. "I've kissed Sasuke if that's what you were askin' about."

"It wasn't," Sasuke told him. "And don't eavesdrop."

Yagura flipped him off. "Here I am bein' nice and retrieving your guitar, and now you're gonna be an asshole to me? See what I put up with, Rin?"

"Why would you kiss Yagura?" Rin asked. "I think you could do a lot better."

"I didn't kiss Yagura," he said. "He kissed me on stage once because he's an idiot."

Yagura shrugged, slinging Sasuke's guitar over his shoulder. "Girls love it when you do that stuff. It's not like Sasuke gets a lot of action, so I'm sure he enjoyed it."

Rin shook her head. "Please take him away. I'm already insulted you're choosing him over me."

"C'mon now, Rin. There are women who'd kill to sleep with me," Yagura gloated. "Get your jacket on, Sasuke. We're goin' home. I've got some stuff I've been workin' on, and I want you to help me with the music and lyrics."

"I see. So, you do need me for something." Sasuke gave Rin one last look, but she shook her head in disappointment. "Thanks again, Rin."

"Thank you," she said. "And if you see him? Tell him I said hi, and that… I didn't know you were the friend he was talking about."

Sasuke didn't reply as he put on his coat and scarf. He waved goodbye. Yagura grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the room.

"At least let me say goodbye to everyone else," he muttered, slapping his hand away.

"Why? Aren't they all lesbians? What's the point?"

Sasuke walked ahead of him. "Not sure what that has to do with anything. And no, they're not _all_ lesbians."

"Rin, though. Do I have a shot with her?" Yagura started whistling.

"Very doubtful."

After he said his goodbyes, he and Yagura headed outside. In the end, everyone in #Feminist was upbeat and chill, and Sasuke, his mood having soured, thought he wouldn't make great company. He kept thinking about Naruto, wondering what he'd said to Rin, what he'd thought while watching him play tonight, and where he went afterward. Out to party? To drink? Or did he go straight back to Sai's apartment. He knew from Naruto saying so that the older teen lived alone.

He wouldn't say the thought of Naruto staying there tonight made him jealous, but there was a part of him that wanted to speak to the blond. He understood why Naruto was angry and that he had other things going on in his mind, so maybe it unsettled him a little. Naruto had this tendency to do stupid or self-destructive things when he was angry. Hopefully, he wouldn't do anything dumb tonight. Sasuke didn't think Sai would let him, but Naruto could be stubborn.

Yagura, more quiet than usual, was sticking close to his side as they made their way down the sidewalk. There was hardly anyone around, and the streets were dark.

"Why aren't you going out tonight?" Sasuke asked. "It's still early for you, isn't it?"

"I haven't seen you in a while, so I thought I'd ask if you'd like to hang out. Is that such a big deal?"

For some reason, that made him uncomfortable.

"Just to warn you, my brother will be in town next week," Sasuke said. "So, if you put something in my drink, I _will_ have Itachi kill you and then dismember your body."

Yagura snickered. "Harsh, but fair. Believe it or not, I genuinely wanted to see you play. Always been curious about how you'd do as a singer. I was lookin' forward to it as soon as I heard. No matter what you think of me, I recognize your talent, Sasuke. I wouldn't have you in my band otherwise." He nudged him in the side. "You looked sexy as hell up there, and I mean it. I think I got a boner watchin' you. Maybe Naruto got one, too, and that's why he had to go, eh?"

"Can we drop this topic already?" He asked. "It's getting boring."

"I can't believe he left," Yagura continued. "You must've done something pretty shitty to get a kid like that to hate your guts. Did you _cheat_ on him? Is that why he's got his panties in a twist?"

"For the last time, we've never dated," he replied. "Did you even drive? Where are we walking?"

"I did drive, don't worry. It's this way." They were walking toward campus. "You definitely fucked around, though. I can tell. Did you get tired of fucking him and blow him off? I've been there. Hate that. You sleep with a chick once, and then she shows up at all of your gigs. Kind of pathetic, really."

Sasuke was getting irritated. "If you don't shut up about it, I'm going home."

"Did I hit a nerve? Don't feel guilty about it. Sometimes you gotta be harsh with that type before they get the hint you were only lookin' for a good time. Seriously, we're musicians, right? What do people expect? Monogamy?" He scoffed. "It's just not natural."

The snow crunched under Sasuke's boots as he came to a stop. "You honestly think I'm _that_ type of guy?"

"Hell, yeah, I do," Yagura replied. "You're one of the _coldest_ bastards I know. But, a lot of people are drawn to that. Girls are anyway. I assume guys work the same."

Sasuke, shaking his head, started walking again. If only to get away from him. "You don't know what you're saying, and you don't know me as well as you think."

"Maybe it's _you_ that doesn't know _you_ as well as you think. You got bored with him. It's normal," Yagura kept on, pushing Sasuke's buttons even further. "You and me are alike, so I know what I'm talkin' about. Nice guys like that aren't a good match for you. But, look on the bright side, if you'd just _come out_ , you'd never want for dick, 'cause I imagine there are a shit ton of gay dudes that come to see you play and fantasize about you fuckin' them, or vice versa… however you roll. Most guys would kill for that lifestyle."

Sasuke couldn't say why Yagura thought they were alike. He didn't think so, but as he considered it, Naruto had once said similar things about him, going so far as to accuse him of having only messed around with him because he was available, and it was easy.

That's fine. If it made Naruto feel better to think of him that way. If it made it easier for him to walk away from their friendship. If it meant Naruto wouldn't fight him on it.

It's hard to say how things would've been different these past few weeks if Naruto had nagged him every day instead of ignoring him, too. Sasuke only ignored him because he was ashamed and afraid, and because he was stubborn, and because he still believed he was right to push him away. Because his family was important to him. Because he knew Naruto would eventually move on if Sasuke was cold and cruel to him.

"You know," he said aloud, reaching out to catch some snow in his gloved hand. "Even if most of what you said just now was bullshit, I think maybe I can agree with you on one thing, Yagura."

Yagura glanced at him curiously. "Oh? What's that?"

Sasuke, turning his hand upside down, let the snow fall to the ground. "The reason someone like Naruto wouldn't be a good match for people like us? It's because we don't deserve them."

* * *

Naruto was lying across the couch, his arm over his eyes, when he heard Sai approach.

"Hey, have some water," Sai said.

He lifted his arm, cracking open an eye to look at him. "I might throw up."

"I almost think that would be a good idea," Sai replied. "Given that you drank half of a bottle of tequila by yourself and a quarter of a bottle of Jack I'd had since Halloween."

"Head hurts."

"Sit up a little."

Before he could respond, Sai nudged him up long enough to sit on the end of the couch. He let Naruto lay on his lap and began massaging his head.

"Okay, yeah, that feels good." He rolled onto his back and reached for the blanket near his feet.

"Hey, your phone's been going off." Sai picked it up from off the floor. "Someone's sending you stuff on Snapchat, and you have texts."

"Who is it?" Naruto groaned as Sai's fingers moved gingerly through his hair. "I owe you for takin' care of me tonight."

"I don't even know what got you so upset. Do you want me to see if it's an emergency?"

"On Snapchat? Ha, yeah, right."

"The texts could be from your dad. You did tell him you were staying here this time, didn't you?"

"I did," Naruto replied. "Assuming he remembers. Made me do my laundry this mornin', so I think so. Maybe. Fine, check it, but don't read it if it's from a girl." He smirked.

"It's locked. What's your password to get in?"

"0-7-1-0," Naruto answered. "... Mom's birthday."

When Sai started laughing, Naruto looked up at him, also a little perturbed he'd stopped rubbing his head. "What's so funny?"

"I think… someone's got a hold of Sasuke's phone."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Also, some of these are coming directly to you…? Let me check. No, there are some in his Snapchat stories, but, yeah, you got a couple of texts, too."

"Like… messages?" He asked, about to sit up, but as soon as he tried, he had to lay down again.

"No." Sai flipped the phone to show him one. "Pictures."

He had to tilt his head, but Sai was right. It was a picture of Sasuke passed out in a bathtub, and it was a Snap sent just to him.

"Gimme that."

The photos open to all of his Snapchat followers were mostly of him doing about the same thing Naruto had done for the last two hours: drinking. There were a couple of him on the guitar, but those were timed earlier. Wherever he was, he'd started off playing and ended up in a tub.

"Do you recognize where he is?" Sai asked, still chuckling. "It's kind of hilarious."

"I don't recognize the room, but maybe he's with Rin and the others… oh shit, that reminds me." Naruto glanced at his hand. "Crap, the numbers are all smeared."

Sai took hold of it, trying to help him make out Rin's phone number. "I can make out the first four, but the last three are indecipherable. You can always ask Sasuke when he wakes up. I'm taking a screenshot of this, by the way. You might want it for blackmail purposes later. Let me see if there's more in the texts."

"Yeah, but why would anyone in Rin's band do something dick-ish like that. It's not funny. Doesn't seem like her at all."

"I think I know who it is," Sai said, showing him the phone again - this time, a photo in his text messages. "It's that guy from earlier. Yagura?"

Naruto studied the photo. The first was of Yagura and Sasuke sitting on a couch at what was likely to be the singer's apartment. He'd not been there before, but he knew Sasuke had. Yagura was the one taking the photo of them while Sasuke sat with a red plastic cup in his hand. The second photo came with some text: _sasuke says hi, blondie. he's a little sad you didn't stay for the whole show_. The time on the text indicated it was sent 25 minutes ago.

"Why's he sending you photos?" Sai asked.

"Just to be a dick," Naruto replied, checking Sasuke's Twitter to see if Yagura had hijacked that, too. He didn't see anything there. It looked like it'd been left alone.

He hoped Yagura knew better than to go too far. It seemed the most compromising photos had been sent to him, but then his phone buzzed again. A message on Snapchat that read: _NSFW_

His phone buzzed a few more times, and, not having a good feeling about it, Naruto sat up so Sai wouldn't be able to see the screen. Three new photos showed up. The first was a selfie of Yagura with his shirt off, the second of a hand pushing Sasuke's shirt up - far enough that Naruto could see a trail of dark hair and Sasuke's navel, the third was of the same hand on the buckle of Sasuke's belt. The fourth, which took longer to receive, was a photo of Sasuke's belt unbuckled and the button to his jeans undone.

A text message followed: _what do you think, Naruto?_

"Naruto?" Sai asked. "Why does your face look like that? What's going on?"

"Uh…" Naruto nearly toppled over as he got to his feet. "I'm gonna take this into your room, is that okay?"

"Is Sasuke alright?"

"I… I guess I'll let you know in a sec. I'm gonna call and see if that asshole will answer."

"Sasuke?" Sai asked.

"No, Yagura."

"I'll grab some clothes and take a shower. You can have some privacy. Come and get me if we need to go beat some ass, though."

Distracted because it worried him even more when no further messages followed, he gave him a weary smile. "Yeah, sure. I'm gonna call now."

"Okay, I'll be quick." Sai got up and went into his bedroom, Naruto following. He waited the whole 30 seconds it took for Sai to grab some sweatpants before he closed the door, and, fingers trembling in anger, pressed on Sasuke's name to make the call.

* * *

When Sasuke opened his eyes, he didn't immediately remember where he was or what had transpired over the last hour, but looking around, he realized he was in a bathtub and Yagura was sitting next to him on the toilet lid with his shirt off and Sasuke's phone in his hand.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sasuke asked, his voice sore from the show and also from drinking too much hard liquor with Yagura.

At first, the night had started off as a sort of jam session, but Yagura kept forcing drinks on him, and given that drinking kept gradually making him feel better, he hadn't exactly refused. He could tell that Yagura was up to something just by the look of glee on his face, and Sasuke's first assumption was that he'd been fucking with his social media accounts.

"Give me that," Sasuke said, trying to swipe the phone out of his hands. "If you did anything stupid my classmates can see, I am going to fuck you up."

"Tough words from a guy who passed out in my bathtub," Yagura replied, swiping his thumb down the screen.

"How did you get my password anyway?" He, slowly, sat up in the tub, his head woozy and his stomach not exactly settled. It had been a while since he'd eaten, too, so that didn't help.

"You gave it to me when I asked you," Yagura answered. "Might want to change it. But, as usual, I'm doing your dumb ass a favor. I got tired of hearing you whine about your blond boyfriend, so let's just say I sent him some encouraging photos."

That got his attention. He also couldn't quite remember all the things he'd been saying tonight.

"What did you do?" Sasuke asked, nearly falling out of the tub as his pants started to slip down. "Why are my pants undone?"

"Don't flatter yourself." Yagura laughed. "It's just a little thing I had in mind to get him to play along. But, so far he hasn't responded. A little disappointing. Thought even if you two were fighting, he'd still be your knight in shining armor. Now I guess we know you _really_ fucked up."

"Yagura," he growled, re-buckling his belt, and grabbing the man by the collar of his shirt. He hoisted Yagura to his feet and glared. "This isn't funny. I don't know what you think you're doing, but if you said anything to Naruto you shouldn't have - "

"Ah, look at that." Yagura flipped the phone around. "He's calling. Want me to answer?"

Sasuke stared at the blinking number. He was suddenly very nervous about what Yagura had sent or said to him, whether Naruto would think he'd played a part in it, or why exactly Naruto - after not having done so for weeks - was calling at all.

"Would you prefer I answer?" Yagura asked.

"Get out," Sasuke said. "Get the fuck out." He snatched the phone from out of his hand.

Yagura shrugged. "Blankets are in the closet. You can crash on my couch. I'm wrecked, so I'm goin' to bed. Thank me in the morning, asshole."

He watched him go, still undecided about answering and with no time to investigate whatever damage Yagura might've done. Sasuke, hitting the answer button, held the phone to his ear. At first, he couldn't seem to get any words out.

"I can hear you breathing," Naruto said. "If this is Yagura, you better fuckin' explain yourself and why you're sending that kind of shit to my phone."

Panicking, Sasuke tapped the screen so he could quickly go through his messages to find out what Yagura sent, fearing the worst. He didn't respond to Naruto's words either.

"Okay, I can still hear you, so if this is you tryin' to act like you're doin' shit to him - "

"Naruto," Sasuke said.

There was silence on the other line for almost half a minute.

"Well, I guess if you answered you're not in the middle of bein' sexually assaulted," Naruto muttered. "What the hell was that? Did you guys think this would be funny?"

Sasuke's brow furrowed out of irritation. "First of all, I just woke up, so I don't know what you're talking about. Second of all, why would I team up with Yagura to do anything?"

"At least you admit you're with him," Naruto replied. "So, you're fine then? If you are, I'm going to hang up now, and tell him that the next time I see him, I'm gonna bust up his face."

"Wait," Sasuke said it almost like a sharp exhale. "Just… wait."

"What."

"...What is it he did exactly? I'm looking through my messages, but I don't see anything."

"Tch. I've still got the texts, and you should check your Snapchat, too, though I guess you won't be able to see the ones he sent me. Ah, Sai screenshotted one of them, though. It's you passed out in a tub, and luckily I had the phone before he saw the ones Yagura sent after that."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "...What did he send?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Naruto huffed.

Another period of uncomfortable silence ensued between them. Sasuke found he had a lot of things he wanted to say, but he didn't know where to start.

"Naruto, I don't know what he did since you won't tell me, but I'm sorry if he upset you. You know how he is. He's immature and likes to start shit. He only wanted to rile you. Don't give him the satisfaction."

"Well, I don't think it's funny that he's trying to molest you while you're passed out."

"Molest me?" He frowned.

"Yeah. The dickhead sent me photos of him lifting up your shirt and then undoing your pants. Kinda thought it might be a good idea to make sure he wasn't raping you."

"He's an asshole," Sasuke said, "But I wouldn't call him a _rapist_."

"Great, figures you'd defend someone like that. If we're cool now, I'm going to - "

"Naruto," he interrupted, more desperation in his voice this time. Sasuke couldn't explain it, but he didn't want him to get off the phone.

"What, Sasuke. _What_?"

Sasuke sat on the edge of the toilet lid, looking down at the floor and his naked feet. "You came to the show tonight."

"Yeah, so. I didn't know you were playin'."

"If you had," he said. "Would you not have come?"

"Probably not, no."

Sasuke felt the sting of his answer, not just his response but the swiftness of it.

"I see you're still as honest as ever," he mumbled.

"I thought you always said you'd be caught dead before you'd do lead vocals on stage."

"The singer," Sasuke licked his lips, "Was very persuasive. Normally I wouldn't have."

"Ah, yeah. I met her before the show. I should've guessed Rin was talkin' about you when she said a replacement guitarist who acted OCD about time was helpin' her out. It was the part where she said he'd be singing that threw me off."

Sasuke nodded, speaking softly. "I can understand that."

"Also, it bein' a girl band. I never woulda thought you'd be there."

"Yagura says he saw you leave halfway through." Sasuke bit into his bottom lip.

"You sure have a lot to say about Yagura tonight," Naruto replied. "Listen, I only called 'cause I didn't know what the fuck was going on. I didn't call to play catch up."

"...Why are you being so cold?" He asked. "This doesn't sound like you."

"Yeah, well. I've had plenty of time to do some thinking. But, I can't be _that_ cold if I called to make sure you were okay. It's a lot more than you've done over the past month, so you don't have a lotta room to talk, now do you?"

He didn't have a response, really, and wasn't at all used to Naruto speaking this way to him. It was a strange, very humbling feeling.

"You're right," he said. "Thanks for checking in, but if you have to go, then go."

"Do we have other things we need to talk about?"

"I - " Sasuke switched the phone to his other ear. "Just… don't hang up. Give me a few minutes to think. This is unexpected for me, too, and I don't even know what the hell that asshole did while I was passed out. At least do me that one favor."

"Fine."

"Thank you."

While Sasuke collected his thoughts, Naruto spoke first.

"So, anyway. You, uh, sounded good tonight, but I always thought you had great voice."

The side of his mouth twitched into a half-smile at the compliment, even if it sounded begrudging. "You didn't think I sounded like I was trying too hard?"

"No, but then you always end up bein' good at everything you try," said Naruto. " _If_ you try."

An obvious dig that he was sure Naruto thought he deserved.

"Hey, since I'm doing you a favor, can you do one for me?" Naruto asked.

Surprisingly, his heart jumped at the possibility he could do (and Naruto would willingly ask) something of him.

"Sure. Yes."

"Uh, Rin gave me her number, but the last few digits smeared. Do you have it?"

"You're asking me for Rin's phone number?"

"Is that a problem?"

"No," he replied, his gaze rising to the ceiling where he squinted at the light fixture. "I'm sure she would be disappointed if you didn't call. You seemed to have left an impression on her."

"Really?" Naruto asked, tone conveying he was flattered. Sasuke could picture his pleased expression now. He knew it well, but it also hurt. Then again, it was likely meant to.

"I'll text it to you later if that's okay."

"No, that's cool. Thanks."

He cleared his throat. "Speaking of potential dates, I talked to Itachi last night."

Sasuke ignored the images that sprung to mind of what happened _after_ their conversation last night. He'd have to take that moment of weakness to his grave.

"Oh, yeah? How's he? He's still flyin' in on Monday, right?"

"He is. I'm going to pick him up after school."

"I could've done that," Naruto offered. "Or, are you drivin' your mom's car into town that day?"

"No. I'll take the bus up, get her car, and drive down again. It's fine."

"Well, when he gets in, tell him to call me."

"Because you two have a date set for Tuesday?" He asked.

"Did he call it that?"

"Don't sound so happy about it."

"Why? I haven't seen him in almost a month. I'm lookin' forward to it."

Sasuke, standing up, spied his reflection in the mirror, his hair falling over one eye while the other looked bloodshot. He turned and, flipping off the light, walked into the living room, where he spotted a pillow and a pile of blankets at the end of the couch.

"What are you doin'?" Naruto asked. "It sounds like you're movin' around."

"If you must know, I'm about to take off my clothes so that I can sleep on this uncomfortable looking couch for the night," he answered.

"Where's Yagura?"

"He went to bed once he got what he wanted."

Unfolding the blanket, he found a sheet he could use to spread across the cushions. He tried not to think about all of the things that were likely to have happened on this couch.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto asked.

"I mean, he wanted to fuck with you, so once you called, he left. That's all. Nothing happened."

"I didn't say anything."

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he unbuckled his belt and slid his jeans down to his ankles. He kicked them off so that he could sleep in his boxers and t-shirt.

He smirked before replying, "You didn't have to."

"...Whatever. I'm sure a couch is better than a bathtub. What were you thinkin' anyway? Why would you fall asleep in a tub? Why didn't you hang out with Rin's band tonight?"

"Do you really care?" Sasuke turned off the nearby lamp and situated himself underneath the blanket, fluffing the pillow under his head.

"I'm only curious, but yeah, you're right. I don't need to know."

"Where's Sai?" He inquired as casually as possible, pulling the blanket up to his chest. Even with the heat on, he would end up freezing without these extra blankets.

"He went to take a shower, but he should be back soon."

"Ah."

"Why'd you pick that Jack White song? Or did Rin ask you to sing it? Sounds like she rearranged their set just for you."

"I picked it."

"Why?"

He rubbed his forehead, his fingers lifting his hair off of it for a time. "Because… If I had to say. The dramatic intro, the way it incorporated all of the musicians I knew we had, I wanted to mix some rock in with their punk songs and one that was strong but would still appeal to their core audience. Beyond that… I don't know."

Naruto issued a skeptical-sounding hum that caused the hairs at the back of his neck to stand on end. He hadn't thought about it earlier, but he could tell Naruto'd also been drinking tonight.

"I suppose it is a pretty team-oriented song, so to speak," Naruto commented, his voice low and a little rough. "Interesting choice if you think about it. The singer usually leads the band and likes the spotlight. But you never wanted to be a singer, you're a good supporting player, and even when you have the chance to shine, you still pick a song that feels more like a collaboration."

"Am I like that?" He pressed his fingers to his lips. "I hadn't thought about it."

" _I_ thought about it. Tonight. Seeing you made me think about a lot of things."

"Like what, what did it make you think about?" He asked, thinking Naruto's voice sounded muffled and solemn. "Where are you?"

"Huh?"

"In Sai's apartment, where are you?"

"Oh. I'm lying across his bed. Why?"

That… irritated him maybe a little.

"Just curious," he answered. "You were saying?"

"I don't remember. Ah, I think he's done in the shower, so I should really get goin'."

He struggled to think of another excuse to keep him from getting off. "...At least tell me what it is you thought? About tonight, I mean. What it was you meant by that."

"Just that you seem like a different person when you're on stage. You always have, and you always look happiest when you're with other musicians. I can tell, too, that you - " Naruto sighed. "This is dumb. I don't know why I'm tellin' you this 'cause I'm still really pissed at you."

"I know you are," he replied, closing his eyes. "Tell me anyway."

"Like you have any right to demand somethin' from me."

"It wasn't a demand, it was a request. Because I want to know what you think of me."

"What the hell does _that_ mean?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke gave pause at hearing Naruto's voice raised in anger. Not because he felt especially bad or guilty, though he knew he _should_ , but what he felt was… familiarity. They hadn't spoken in almost a month. He'd become accustomed to acting cold toward Naruto when they were at school. It was easier to act that way than to deal with what happened between them. It wasn't as if his feelings for Naruto disappeared, and when Naruto reacted strongly to the things he said, it always made him long for… _something_. A physical connection usually. He knew that was impossible, and not just because they were in different places, but because he knew how Naruto felt. Hurt. Betrayed. Angry. Even if Naruto cursed him, screamed at him, said he hated him… well, no, the last one wouldn't be easy to handle, but whatever Naruto was feeling right now, Sasuke found some sadistic pleasure in being the cause of it. Mostly because it meant he was at the center of the other teen's thoughts, however selfish that sounded.

"I meant as a musician," he answered (a half-truth). "It's interesting to hear your perspective."

"Yeah, well. I have no intention of feedin' your ego, Sasuke. I already said your singin' was good. I'm not gonna say anything more than that. Rin was just as good."

"Yes, that's why she's the lead singer of a really great band," Sasuke replied calmly. "I have no intention of leading a band anytime soon. It was a one-time thing."

"I feel like I've heard that before," Naruto muttered.

Before Sasuke could respond to that not so subtle comment, he heard a voice in the background and knew Sai was there. It annoyed him that his arrival might put an end to their conversation.

"Are you _still_ on the phone?" Sai was asking. "I'm going to bed, so you can stay in here with me or take it to the living room. Did you solve Sasuke's hacking dilemma?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to talk so long," Naruto responded guiltily. "I'll get off in a second."

"Don't get off on my account," Sai responded. "But at least get off the covers for a second, so I can pull them back. No, nevermind, just lift your hips."

Naruto let out a breathy noise into the phone, indicating he'd done as he was told. _Also_ irritating.

"Dammit, your feet are freezing, Sai!"

"Yeah, but you're warm. Like a fucking furnace as usual. Don't forget to tell Sasuke I thought he looked hot tonight. Even if you two are fighting and I think he's an asshole, he looked sexy."

"I'm sure he can hear you, jackass. You're talkin' loud enough."

"Naruto, if you need to go, just go," Sasuke said.

"I'm not sleepin' in here since Sai snores. I'm goin' to the damn couch."

There was a loud noise, followed by more complaining as Sai apparently kicked Naruto. At least he assumed that to be the case when "Don't kick me, asshole!" was shouted in his ear.

"Dick, you did that on purpose," Naruto was saying to Sai. "Let me sleep in, and don't try to do anything weird again this time. Do you want the door shut?"

There was a muffled reply that Sasuke couldn't make out, but he did hear a door shut.

"What is it you mean by 'don't do anything weird this time'?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh, you're _curious_ about that?" Naruto asked and then cursed at a chair for getting in his way. (Sasuke smirked). "He could've at least left a light on so I didn't kill myself walking around here."

"Nevermind. It's none of my business."

"I did, though," Naruto said, his voice slightly muffled for a couple of seconds, "Really like the duet-thing with you and Rin. Was weird as hell to hear you sing a love song."

"You thought it was a love song?" He asked. "Interesting."

"It's not? Pretty sure the whole chorus said love about a million times, so yeah."

"Yeah, but it was - " Sasuke started to argue like he normally would but caught himself as if it wasn't an appropriate topic, and maybe it wasn't. "Well, it was Rin's choice."

"Still."

"Still what?"

"Nothing. I'm goin' to bed," Naruto said.

"I thought you were on the _couch_."

"You know what I mean. Jerk."

"Hn."

Naruto's tone, even if it was an insult, was lighter than at the start of their conversation. Like how it used to be. Before Sasuke made a mess of everything. For a second, he yearned for another time, specifically any time between that first week they met and before the night Naruto told him he was going to ask out Kayla. Things seemed easier then. Although, only a month after they met, Sasuke knew that whatever was happening between them was going to get more confusing. That night he'd told Naruto they needed boundaries (which he quickly crossed himself), it was to protect himself more than Naruto. All this time later, he never would've thought Naruto would be the one to confess. Yagura had told him tonight that it must look like he didn't care at all, which wasn't something he'd entirely considered. Then again, it wasn't often he dared to look at any of this from Naruto's perspective.

The whole reason he drank tonight was because he started to imagine Naruto thinking of him the same way Yagura did. Those things Naruto said to him the night he slept with the DJ were on his mind, even as they were talking. Like, how he thought Sasuke only used him because he was a convenient piece of ass. He _could_ argue the same about Naruto, but he knew it wasn't true. Naruto didn't do things without reason. If he couldn't stand Sasuke, or if he didn't care about him more than "a little", then they wouldn't have screwed around as long or as often as they had. More than the physical stuff, there was intimacy between them, and it had been there since the first day they met. Yet, because of what Sasuke did, Naruto considered him the type of guy to have casual sexual relationships. Because, well. He could. He had. _Twice_. It was arguable, too, that getting into bed together after Naruto confessed - only for Sasuke to reject him in the morning - may insinuate he was shallow enough to be _that_ guy.

What could he do, though? What would be the point in telling Naruto he did have feelings for him that went beyond friendship? It wouldn't be fair since there was nothing he could do about it right now. There was the possibility Naruto wouldn't believe him anyway.

"So… what are you going to do tomorrow?" Sasuke eventually asked.

"Sleep," said Naruto. "Go home and pack."

"What time?"

"'What time' what?"

"What time are you going home to pack?" He clarified.

"Why?"

Sasuke sighed, realizing they wouldn't be able to get anywhere unless they could talk in person. "Nevermind. I'll let you sleep. You sound tired. It was… " He debated whether he should say it, but decided he didn't care. "Good to hear your voice."

Naruto snorted. "Seriously? You… are so clueless, aren't you? Like… I don't get you." He huffed. "Yeah, _I'm_ gonna go to bed. Glad you had a decent gig tonight and tried new things. For that, I'm happy for you because I know how serious you are about your music."

"Naruto."

"What?" Naruto asked, sounding exasperated. "And stop sayin' my name like that."

"Like what?" Despite this feeling he didn't want Naruto to go, Sasuke's eyes were getting heavy. His whole body would be sore tomorrow. He could already feel it in his arms.

"Like we're friends," Naruto answered, digging that knife in the deepest he had so far tonight.

"So, to clarify," he said quietly, "We're no longer friends?"

"What's to clarify. You've made that pretty damn clear."

"How so?"

Naruto gave a bitter laugh. "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me right now? _No_. I'm _not_ gonna get into this with you 'cause this is what you always do when we fight. I'm not gonna start arguin' with you because, you know what? You're a smart guy. You know why you say the things you do, and I always played right into it because… well, I didn't know why at the time, but now we both know, so just don't _fuck_ with me anymore, okay? At least try to act like you have a heart or _some_ sympathy considerin' how you made me feel like trash that morning. There's also how you acted these past few weeks. I _know_ you don't feel that guilty about it either."

Sasuke closed his eyes. "...Okay. I understand."

"No," said Naruto. "You _don't_ understand. You couldn't _possibly_ understand. How it feels to fall in love with your best friend, to think that he felt the same way, and then in the morning, it's… it's just fucked up what you did to me, and never acknowledging it afterward or apologizing - "

Knowing he couldn't argue with anything Naruto was saying, Sasuke kept his mouth shut.

"I know that falls on deaf ears," Naruto continued. "I know you never felt the same about me as I did you - "

Sasuke clutched at the front of his shirt.

" - So, when I was watchin' you play tonight, and listenin' to you sing about _love_ , it finally dawned on me how stupid I was to think you ever felt more than friendship and lust toward me. Hell, it even occurred to me I wasn't wrong in what I'd said to you the night you slept with the DJ. I always made it so easy for you, didn't I? To get what you wanted? Except if I didn't go all the way, then you could get it from somebody else whenever you wanted. The weekend I first stayed at your house, I never expected what happened to happen. I was stupid for jerkin' you off and pretending it would all be cool, and that I was helpin' you out, and that it was fine to do whatever with you, because I thought… I dunno what I thought, so maybe _I_ should apologize for giving absolutely no thought to the consequences. For what it's worth, I _wanted_ to do it. I was attracted to you. I liked you. I was drawn to you. I _enjoyed_ doin' it, but I didn't think I'd fall in love with you. So, yeah I am an idiot, and I'm really hanging up this time - "

Naruto's voice was shaking by the end, and Sasuke wondered if the ache he felt in his own chest was in any way similar to how Naruto felt right now.

"I gotta go, Sasuke. Next time don't let some jackass steal your phone. _Bye_."

After Naruto hung up, Sasuke lay there for a long time, too numb to do anything. He began wondering what his life would be like if he'd said yes. If he'd told Naruto that he loved him, had always loved him, and that everything they'd ever done together meant more than Naruto could ever possibly know. A universe where he came out to his parents, and they accepted it. He and Naruto dated, spent all their time together, went to the same college, and so on. That seemed impossible, but at the same time, Sasuke longed for it even when he knew he didn't deserve it. The most and - maybe only - important relationship he'd ever gained in life, he'd destroyed. Naruto was already trying to move on, which explained why he wanted as little to do with him as possible. Sasuke understood that, had tried to help give Naruto a reason to keep doing as much, but he was still human. It was fucking hard. He missed Naruto. He hated that he was here and Naruto was with Sai. Instead of them being together at Naruto's place, sharing a bed, talking in quiet voices, laughing with him. Kissing him, holding him, touching him, and everything else that went along with that.

Yes, he fucking missed it, ached for it, and wanted it so badly he might've given in if Naruto had been anywhere close to him right now. But, he wasn't, and Naruto didn't want to talk to or be near him. Because Sasuke was always hurting him, and Naruto had finally reached his limits, which is something Sasuke should learn to accept.

… _If_ he were that type of person.

* * *

 **TBC**

a/n:  
Please don't forget to review about the chapter!


	5. Act I: Hurt Me

_Dedicated to Netamashii._

* * *

Naruto slept terribly last night, so when he got up at 9 a.m., he was already in a grouchy-ass mood. Sai wasn't up yet, so he left a note that he'd taken off and would call him later. He would've gone in there and jumped on the bed to annoy him but figured the guy put up with enough crap last night that he deserved to get his beauty sleep. At least the sun was out. The snow looked pretty on the branches and all over the ground. It hadn't turned to black slush yet.

Once he was on the bus to his apartment, he felt better. He plugged his earbuds into his phone, content to sit here undisturbed until his stop. Talking to Sasuke for that long had been a stupid idea. No matter what he said, he couldn't get the anger or bitterness to go away. He knew it would lessen in time, and he was at least satisfied Sasuke hadn't denied it. Although, Sasuke not denying the part about having no feelings for him sucked, but it was something he'd been trying to deal with and accept since then. It wasn't Sasuke's fault how he felt (or, rather, how he _didn't_ feel about him), but he sure _could've_ fucking handled it with a lot more tact. It annoyed him, too, that instead of going out with good people like Rin, Sasuke was spending time with Yagura. He always acted like he hated him, so what the hell? And, why the fuck were the playlists on his phone so depressing? Even Black Keys was getting on his nerves, more so since Sasuke loved them. Naruto was acting like a jilted school girl, and he knew it. He needed to man up. At least he was going to Chicago soon and could see old friends, do dumb shit, and maybe get into some trouble.

When he hopped off the bus, Naruto paused at the entrance of the park near his apartment complex, feeling nostalgic as he thought about that time he and Sasuke came here the day after they'd spent that first weekend together. Getting depressed, he glanced down at his phone, searching through his playlists for more upbeat music than what was on now. Just when he thought he'd found one, the first song to play was The Kooks' "Forgive & Forget."

"Why," Naruto asked his phone as if it had betrayed him. "Why would you do this to me?"

" _You say you need someone to love you. But it ain't me_!"

He switched to a list that only had Nirvana songs. Most of them were angry, so that felt better. Naruto, calmer now, slipped his hands into his coat pockets, enjoying the cold morning air. Hardly anyone was out. Even on the bus, there'd only been two other people. He blew out an exhale of breath, creating tiny clouds of air, caught up in thoughts about the show last night. Not Sasuke specifically, but about the band, a little about Rin and if he'd ever bump into her again. Knowing she knew Sasuke, that seemed especially complicated right now. He didn't have her number either, but could track her down on Facebook. To ease his blood pressure, he let his mind wander to things like how hot and confident she looked on stage, how good of a singer she was, and the fact she was ridiculously charismatic. She wasn't like the other girls he'd dated. They could have fun together. That's something he needed. Nothing serious.

As Naruto entered his building, he switched his backpack to the other shoulder, humming with his music and grateful there was no one in the lobby so he wouldn't be forced to make small talk. As he stepped into the empty elevator, he wondered if his dad was home or if he'd have some time to himself to take a shower and chill, without anyone nagging him or getting under his skin. But, when he jiggled the knob, it opened, so he knew he wouldn't be alone. It smelled like someone had been cooking bacon. He didn't eat much yesterday and at the smell of all that grease, his stomach growled.

"Dad?" He called, pulling at the wires for his earbuds and wrapping them around his phone.

After closing the door, he kicked off his shoes by the mat.

"I said I'm home. I couldn't sleep at Sai's and I'm starvin'. Did you make enough for me?"

Walking the short corridor to the kitchen, Naruto spotted a small pile of pancakes on the counter, along with some crispy strips of bacon. He was going to grab a plate first thing, but then he heard the sound of two voices in the living room. Curious about who their company might be, he went into the living room and dropped his bag on the hardwood floor when he saw Sasuke sitting on the couch next to his dad.

"What are _you_ doing here?" He asked, not even trying to hide his irritation at seeing him.

" _Naruto_ ," Minato scolded, but Naruto wasn't in the mood.

"Seriously," said Naruto. "What the hell are you doing here, Sasuke?"

Outwardly, Sasuke remained composed, his eyes set on Naruto, but it's not like he was going to reply with his dad sitting next to him.

"Naruto, could you try to be less rude? Sasuke's a guest in our house." Minato stood up from the couch.

Figures he'd take Sasuke's side despite knowing they'd been fighting.

"Cool, well if he's your guest, I'm goin' to take a shower."

Naruto picked up his backpack and hoisted it onto his shoulder again, making his way to the bedroom. He threw the bag on the floor, annoyed at being ambushed. When he turned around, he discovered Sasuke standing in the doorway, staring at him.

"I let you have your say last night," Sasuke said, keeping his voice low. "But I wanted to talk to you before you left for Chicago."

"And it had to be today?" He asked, searching through his dresser for clean clothes. It was a good thing he'd done laundry yesterday, but he still needed to pack.

"I pick up Itachi tomorrow, you go out with him Tuesday, when else would there be time?"

"Or, we don't have to do this at all." Naruto turned around, dropping his pile of clothes onto the corner of his unmade bed. "I don't remember inviting you over here or actin' like I was interested in talking to you. The only reason I called last night - "

"I know." Sasuke took a couple of steps into his room until they were only a few feet away from each other. "It's not as if I made the decision to come here lightly."

"Great, well if you've waited this long, you won't mind waitin' longer because I stink and I'm goin' to take a shower."

"Fine," Sasuke replied. "I'll wait."

"Tch." Naruto brushed past him, avoiding any contact their bodies might make, and headed into the bathroom, where he was grateful he'd be allowed some time to think in private.

* * *

Sasuke took a seat in Naruto's swivel chair, his heart hammering in his chest. He hoped he looked a lot calmer than he felt. After not sleeping well last night, he'd had a fair amount of time to do some thinking. He knew Naruto was avoiding him, so the best opportunity to talk would require him to show up at his place unannounced. It helped that Minato had been here when he knocked on the door. He'd had no idea when Naruto might come home, but staying an hour to chat wouldn't appear especially suspicious.

Minato, who was fond of history and politics, had always been easy for Sasuke to talk to; they discussed music, too. It surprised him that Minato still treated him with the same amount of courtesy as he had before, which made him wonder if he knew they were fighting. Sasuke couldn't tell from their conversation either way, but it was possible he was simply being polite.

As he glanced around Naruto's room, it was more neat and orderly than usual other than the bed being unmade. Sasuke usually made his, so he'd often felt compelled to make Naruto's on the mornings that he slept over. Unless a change of sheets was in order, of course. He couldn't explain it exactly, but since this was the first time he'd been in Naruto's bedroom in over a month, it felt felt colder somehow and like he wasn't welcome. Not just because Naruto didn't want him here; it was as though he wasn't worthy of being in this room where they'd shared so many nights talking, laughing, kissing… everything that came along with being close to Naruto.

Just as he was feeling that twinge of regret and longing again, he heard the bathroom door open and in walked Naruto wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Sasuke wouldn't be ashamed to admit his mouth went a little dry and his gaze, as if on reflex, swept down Naruto's toned body and up again. _Dammit_. That was a reaction he couldn't control at all, but Naruto played it off like he didn't notice. He started picking up the shirt he'd left on the corner of the bed. Sasuke was staring when Naruto suddenly looked at him and frowned.

"Would you mind turning around?"

Sasuke blinked at him and cleared his throat. "Uh, sure."

He spun the chair around, now facing Naruto's laptop screen. The computer was off, which meant that Sasuke caught Naruto's reflection as his towel dropped to the floor. His eyes ran the length of Naruto's naked body. It was only a side view, but that didn't stop his hormones from recalling the other night when he watched the video and jerked off thinking about him. No matter how cool he tried to play it, that was one thing he couldn't get his body to lie about.

"Alright. You can turn around."

Sasuke did and found Naruto in a pair of jeans, just about to pull a t-shirt over his head.

"Isn't that my shirt?" He asked, his voice sounding hoarse.

Naruto shot him an annoyed look. "Do you want it back or something?"

"As part of the divorce settlement, you mean?"

Naruto didn't seem to find that funny.

"No," Sasuke said. "You can keep it. I, um. Didn't come empty-handed. I have something for you in my bag. I'll let you finish getting dressed and go get it."

He stood up, eyeing the discarded towel on the floor. What was wrong with him that he desperately wanted to throw it in the hamper in the hall closet? He shrugged off the urge, and passed by Naruto, who still kept looking at him like he wanted to knock him through a wall. Sasuke retrieved the two items he'd brought. When he returned, Naruto was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at his phone. He glanced up when Sasuke stood in front of him.

"Here." He handed Naruto the folded t-shirt and the tiny slip of paper on top of it.

"What's this?" Naruto asked, eyeing the items with suspicion.

"Well, it's certainly not a bomb," Sasuke replied. "Rin mentioned you wanted one, so she insisted I take one in case I bumped into you. You'll recognize what's on the paper."

"So… this is from Rin?" Naruto asked, both of his eyebrows drawing upward.

He thought Naruto would be more likely to accept them if he said yes, so, "Yes."

"Oh, well. Okay then. Tell her I said thanks." He took the shirt from Sasuke and set it in his lap before unfolding the paper. "Is this…?"

"You said you wanted it. So, there it is." Sasuke chewed at his bottom lip, then slid his tongue across, wetting it. His mouth was still dry. He was more nervous than he'd realized.

"Did she say anything about me to you?" Naruto asked, and because he sounded so hopeful, it almost hurt a little, but this is what he should expect from now on.

Needing to do something with his hands, Sasuke tucked them into his back pockets. "She did. She said she saw you staring at the shirts, that you were nice… funny, and… I don't think she found you unattractive. But, she also said you didn't know she was the band's singer."

Naruto's cheeks turned red. "How was I supposed to know? I'd never seen their band before, and it was Sai who wanted to go, so - " He caught himself. "Whatever."

"You've seen her. You just don't remember. She was in the band that played before mine on prom night. You came to the bar afterward…" He decided not to add _to see me_. "You said she was good, but you were drunk. Then you went to dance. I'm surprised you didn't recognize her."

"Hm. Now that you mention it." Naruto scratched his head. "Feels like a long time ago."

"It was April," he replied. "Now, it's mid-December."

Naruto's thoughtful expression changed into one of indignance. "I know that, thanks."

"Are you going to call her?"

Naruto glanced at the number. Sasuke scrawled it this morning on one of Yagura's Post-It notes. He'd only done it because Naruto asked. It's not like he was thrilled about the idea of Naruto being interested in someone else, but he had no right to complain either. He liked Rin, which scared him. If _he_ liked her, he knew Naruto would, too. And Sasuke already knew Rin liked Naruto, but she wouldn't try to interfere without his blessing, so to speak.

"I just thought she was nice," Naruto murmured. "Thank you for this, and for the shirt."

He set the piece of paper aside and picked up the shirt with Rin's band name on it.

"Did she tell you anything else?" Naruto asked. "I was… I dunno. I saw them and I got to thinkin' about you because you're always collecting shirts from local bands. It would've made a good Christmas present is what I was thinking. I guess that's a tough habit to break."

The blond glanced up at him, his gaze a mixture of sadness and acceptance. Or, resignation? Even more than the angry words or being ignored, that look made Sasuke's heart ache. It was so painful he had to take in a deep breath. He let it out quietly while Naruto was watching him.

"Why are you here?" Naruto repeated. "Just to bring me this?"

"No." He felt nervous again under Naruto's sharp scrutiny, but the worst that could happen was that the blond would reject his proposition. "There's something I want to ask you."

"Okay. You've buttered me up with presents, so… shoot." Naruto's eyes conveyed curiosity.

Sasuke fought a strong urge he was having to walk up to him, take hold of the sides of his face, kiss his lips, and push him down onto the bed. He'd taken it for granted when he had the privilege. There seemed, in this moment, nothing worse than being denied getting close to him, to be held by Naruto, or to hold him. The sound of his name on Naruto's lips, whether it sprang from ecstasy or in response to a joke, or like a sigh of fondness. Having never had a true relationship, Sasuke didn't know what it meant to break up with someone, but this must be what it was like. Yet, he would've thought it to be a situation where neither party had feelings for the other anymore, and here he _knew_ he had these feelings and that, perhaps, Naruto was still struggling with having feelings for him, too.

If this had been two or more month ago, Sasuke might've breached that distance, but after what happened, he knew that he'd pushed Naruto away. He'd hurt him. He wanted to believe that the best thing for both of them, for Naruto especially, was to deny these feelings existed. It's not to say Naruto was wrong about Sasuke being capable of casual physical relationships, but Naruto was always at the forefront of his thoughts. If they were in a real relationship -

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked. "Well?"

"Would you be willing to come home with me?"

"Um, what?" Naruto pulled a face.

"That's not a very attractive look on you," he said.

"Tch. Like my looks are any concern of yours," Naruto replied defensively. "You certainly never complained before."

"I wouldn't complain now."

The words came out mumbled, his mouth working faster than his brain.

"What was that?" Naruto asked, looking confused.

"I… There's not anything I want from you, but I hope that you might come with me to my house. For the afternoon. I do want to talk, just not here. It's up to you, but I thought it would be nice for mother to see you again. Before you go to Illinois. Before Christmas."

Naruto pressed his teeth into his lip. "That's low. You know I love your mom."

"I said it was up to you." Sasuke's hand twitched with a desire to move Naruto's hair out of his eyes, but he formed a fist, instead. "She was talking about you the other day and wanted to know why you hadn't been around since Thanksgiving weekend."

"What did you tell her?" Naruto asked.

"I told her you were busy. Should I have told her the truth?"

"I… dunno." Naruto shook his head. "No. I'm glad you said that. I wouldn't want her to be worried or sad or anything."

"I wouldn't either. If all you want to do is say hi, I can take you right back afterward."

"I can take the bus back," Naruto said. "No need for you to bother."

"So you'll come?" He asked, trying to keep that small glimmer of hope from making its presence known in his voice.

"I guess. I mean… you don't have any ulterior motives, do you?" Naruto leaned back on his arms, eyeing him suspiciously.

"What is it you think I'm going to do?"

"I don't know, but, to be honest, I don't know what it is you want from me or what you're trying to accomplish. But, yeah. I'd love to see your mom and talk to her."

"But, not my father, hm?" Sasuke glanced at the folded note containing Rin's number. "Make sure you put that into your phone before you lose it. I'm surprised your room is this clean."

"Dad made me." Naruto picked up the paper and, getting to his feet, set it on the desk. "I'll put it in when I get home. I doubt I'll lose it by then. I'd hate to lose it a second time."

"I meant to tell you earlier, but while you were in the shower, your dad said he was heading out to run some errands," Sasuke informed him.

"Tch. I dunno what he was thinking earlier. He knows I'm mad at you and that I think you're an ass, so I'm surprised he let you in."

"Don't hold back on my account," he said.

"Why should I?" Naruto asked. "You didn't hold back with me that time. Anyway, let me brush my teeth and make somethin' to go since I didn't eat. I feel like I'll pass out soon if I don't."

"I can make you something while you do that - "

"No, thanks," Naruto cut him off. "I can do it myself. Give me five minutes."

"Okay." He was almost shoulder to shoulder with him, and as they exchanged a look, Sasuke understood then that Naruto was putting a wall between them.

"Just wait here," Naruto said. "I'll be back." He took a few steps toward the door and paused. "You can use the computer if you want. Password's the same."

Then Naruto headed out of the room, leaving Sasuke, not quite for the first time, to feel foolish about his recent decisions. All he'd ever wanted with Naruto had been within his grasp, and he'd refused it. In doing so, he'd messed up the best thing that had ever happened to him.

* * *

Naruto stared out the window while Sasuke drove them to his house. They were halfway there and had exchanged only a handful of words. At least Sirius was on, so the silence didn't have to be awkward. Of the two of them, Naruto had always been better at small talk, so he wasn't all that worried about Sasuke trying to keep a conversation going. He reached for the volume to turn the music up just to make sure Sasuke understood he wasn't interested in chatting.

 _Tell me where'd you go when you said goodbye?  
I never thought I'd lose you  
Didn't think you would make a sacrifice  
There was never any room to  
Head for the road and live your life  
And I'll read all the signs  
Tell me where to go when the love has died?_

He snorted as he set his elbow on the armrest and returned to staring outside. The snow along the road had turned to blackened mush, unlike earlier this morning. The sky was a dismal gray, too. Naruto covered his mouth as he yawned. He should've taken a nap, but he couldn't get his brain to turn off at all. It always made it harder to think clearly when Sasuke was nearby, so having him only inches away didn't help. Naruto kept telling himself he was doing this for Mikoto. She'd become like a second mother to him, and he'd missed her over the past few weeks. If he was going on his own, he would've picked up some flowers, but he wasn't going to ask Sasuke to stop at a store. That would require talking to him, and talking to him only pissed him off. A few times, his phone went off. A message from Sai and one from a guy he used to hang out with in Joliet. They were supposed to do something when he was over that way. They were only five minutes from Sasuke's house when Naruto put his phone back inside his pocket, the radio continuing to play the same rip-out-your heart music.

 _Would've gave it all for you, cared for you  
_ _So tell me where I went wrong  
_ _Would've trade it all for you, there for you  
_ _So tell me how to move on_

It was Sasuke who turned off the radio following the last lines, plunging them into an uncomfortable silence almost too awful for him to keep quiet.

"Not a fan of her new song?" Naruto asked while staring out the window, his hand half-covering his mouth as he kept his eyes on the trees lining the road.

"I was hoping for something more upbeat," Sasuke mumbled.

"Ah."

"Maybe it wasn't meant to be."

Naruto sat back against the seat, glancing over. "Maybe you're right."

Sasuke looked back at him. "This side of you is strange to me."

He narrowed his eyes. "What side? My left side is supposed to be my good side."

"You're not going to be serious with me, are you?"

"I already wanted to get serious," he replied, an empty smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

"Whatever." Sasuke shook his head. "Will you be angry at me forever?"

"There's hope."

"What is it you want to hear?"

"An apology would've been a nice start," he answered. "But, it's too late for that."

"I didn't know there was a statute on such things."

Naruto snorted. "It's okay, Sasuke. I'm not expecting you to say you're sorry for bein' a dick. I know it's just part of who you are. Don't expect me to fall for any of your usual attempts to work me up. I'm not as dumb as I was a month ago."

"I never said you were dumb," Sasuke responded.

"You didn't have to. I figured it out on my own. I accept responsibility for that."

"I'm not sure exactly what you're saying," Sasuke replied, but by then, they were driving down the road toward the house.

"You know what I'm saying."

They pulled into the drive, and Sasuke hit the button for the garage. The door closed behind them, shrouding them in darkness until Sasuke clicked the button for the garage light. It felt strange to be here again. He used to have really good feelings about being at this house, but now he couldn't get their last fight out of his mind. Naruto tried to think about Mikoto.

"Is your dad home?" Naruto asked.

"Probably. Since it's a Sunday." Sasuke opened the car door, and then slammed it.

Naruto was still in his seatbelt, but he unclicked it and got out, too. He followed Sasuke into the house, up the basement steps, and into the kitchen, where Mikoto was cooking something that smelled amazing.

"Mother," said Sasuke.

"Sasuke, you're home already?" She turned around and spotted him. "Naruto! What - " The older Japanese woman looked from her son to him again. "Oh, my! Come here already!"

Naruto, brushing against Sasuke as he passed by, met Mikoto halfway. She enveloped him in her arms, stroking his back and squeezing him breathless.

"Where have you been?" She asked. "Sasuke said you were busy, but you're too busy to call or drop by? What have you been so busy with that you've ignored us? That's so unlike you!"

He held her tightly and set his chin on her shoulder, inexplicably stricken for some reason. It was almost too difficult to get the words out. The thought of lying to her sucked, so he didn't try to answer.

"I'm sorry," he said. "How have you been?"

"Good," Mikoto answered. "What a marvelous surprise. Did Sasuke tell you that I was just asking where you were? And he dragged you all the way from town!"

"It's fine." Naruto's nostrils were filled with her perfume. She smelled so much like… well, like a mom. Like his mom. He didn't want to let go, and he almost didn't trust himself to keep his voice steady if he said much at all right now.

Mikoto took a step back, still holding onto his shoulders. "Look at you. You look so tired. Were you up late last night? Wait, did you go to Sasuke's show?"

"He told you about it?" Naruto asked since Sasuke didn't often mention his shows to his parents given that his dad wasn't always super happy about his son's hobby.

"Well, he told _me_. We're keeping it a secret from his father, so don't say anything," Mikoto told him, holding her finger to her lips.

"My lips are sealed." He smiled. "So, what's up, what's new with you? What're you cookin'?"

"Will you be staying for dinner? I'm making a cream stew with chicken. It's always great to make during the winter. You're welcome to stay and eat with us. Fugaku would like that, too. He's been asking about you. Just tell him you're hard at work with your studies."

Naruto chuckled. "I'll be sure to do that. I don't know if I'll be stayin' for dinner, but can I… help you with anything?"

"No, no. I have most of it sorted. I've already chopped the vegetables and chicken. They're all in the pot now. You can keep me company while I make some side dishes. Would you like some tea?" She asked. "Sasuke, would you like some, dear?"

"I can make it, mother," said Sasuke, who set about filling the kettle with water. "Naruto, did you want some? I'll get you a mug."

Naruto cleared his throat. "Yeah, sure. That's fine, thanks."

Mikoto returned to the stove, but gestured to the nearby counter. "Hop up and tell okaa-san what you've been up to." She giggled at her own joke. "Is it a new girlfriend keeping you busy?"

"Nope, no girlfriend," he answered carefully, keeping his eyes off Sasuke, who was busy pulling mugs from the a cabinet. "Besides, no girl could compare to you. Kaa- _chan_."

Mikoto swatted him on his knee. "Don't you flirt with married women, Naruto. You're going to go to college soon, and I want everyone to see the polite young man I see in you."

"Are you sure you don't need glasses?" Sasuke asked her, setting the box of teas (Green, Oolong, and Black since they all three liked different types) on the counter.

"Don't say that about my Naruto," Mikoto scolded her son. "He has far more manners at times than you do, young man." She followed up with something in Japanese that Naruto couldn't follow. Sasuke answered back, and that part he could understand.

"Don't talk to your mother that way," Naruto told him.

"Tch. Since when do you speak Japanese?" Sasuke asked.

"I've been around enough to pick up more than a few phrases. Itachi's taught me some, so has your mom. Even your dad has on occasion." He gripped the edge of the counter, close to sticking out his tongue at him, but managed to hold back.

"Great. Maybe you can put it on your college application."

"That's coming up for you boys, isn't it?" Mikoto asked. "Naruto, have you started preparing to send out applications soon? Are you visiting any colleges?"

"Uh, I'll be visiting one when I go to Illinois," he answered. "It's about an hour northwest of Joliet. A lot of my friends from high school will be going there."

"Do you really think you'll return to Illinois for college?" Mikoto asked, turning to him. "I thought you might stay around here. Seattle University and University of Washington are great state schools. Even Sasuke's thinking of applying there."

"Mother," said Sasuke.

"It's fine," said Naruto. "I'll consider it. I doubt I'll only apply to one school. Maybe Sasuke will change his mind and follow in Itachi's footsteps. Or, he can go to Berkeley like Yahiko did for a while. I'm sure he could go anywhere he wanted to."

Mikoto returned to cooking, and Naruto glanced across the kitchen to find Sasuke leaning against the counter, staring at him. Or, was he glaring?

"What?" He asked.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed further. Apparently a hint he should stop talking about this topic.

"So, what are you thinking of studying?" Mikoto asked.

"Not really sure," Naruto answered. "Business, I guess. That's what dad suggests, and I don't really have much in mind. I think I can get a baseball scholarship if I want to. My grades for this semester kind of suck, though, so we'll see."

"What? What's happened to your grades?" Mikoto asked. "I thought Sasuke was tutoring you."

"Ah, well." Naruto scratched at the back of his head. "They were good last semester, and at the start of this semester… I guess I got distracted in the middle."

"You're going out too much, aren't you? Your studies are very important, Naruto. I hope your dad's also telling you this, and I'm sure he is. Sasuke should be on your case, too."

"Yeah, well…" He didn't finish. Luckily, the kettle went off, and Mikoto bustled about making everyone's tea. When she was done serving them, she stood next to Naruto, sipping from her mug. He felt rather moved that she seemed so happy to see him and talk with him. It had been a good idea to come here, after all. He didn't want to give Sasuke credit for the suggestion, or even to think too deeply about why he'd asked him to come, but it was… nice.

"So, when will you be back?" Mikoto asked.

"The day after Christmas," Naruto replied. "I'll bring you somethin' as a souvenir. You like the Cubs, right? I'll bring you back a World Series sweatshirt."

Mikoto laughed, and she really did have the most amazing laugh. Honestly, if she were younger and not Sasuke and Itachi's mother… oh, and not married. Was there anyone in this family Naruto didn't find completely compelling? Well, there was Fugaku, but he had his moments, too. Marrying _him_ was rather out of the question, needless to say. Although, being stepfather to Itachi and Sasuke could lead to the things sitcoms are made of.

Thinking about it, Naruto started softly laughing to himself.

"Why are you over there laughing to yourself, idiot?" Sasuke asked.

"Sasuke!" Mikoto walked over and swatted him.

"Tch. Like it's any of your business, bastard."

Mikoto went to his side and swatted him next.

"Ow, what was that for?" He cried.

"I know I've taught you boys better than that. That's not how we talk to our friends," she informed them in her mom voice, a hand on her hip. "Especially around the holidays."

He and Sasuke glared at one another, but both took a sip of their tea at the same time.

"Naruto, make sure to say hi to otou-san, too. He's up in the study, doing some work."

"How is he?" Naruto asked. "I mean… is he feelin' a lot better?"

"He is, yes." Mikoto dried her hands on a dish towel. "He didn't cut back on his work hours as much as I wanted - or the doctor wanted - but he's been exercising and is on a special diet."

"That's really good to hear," Naruto said. "I'm glad. Itachi will be home tomorrow. That must make you pretty happy, huh?"

"Of course. Sasuke's volunteered to pick him up from the airport. Fugaku has a meeting, so he'll be home later, and I have piano lessons with a little girl until almost 6."

"I told him I could've picked Itachi up," said Naruto. "It wouldn't have been a problem."

"It's fine. Or, wait. Why don't you go with Sasuke?" Mikoto suggested. "I'm surprised you two didn't think of that!"

"Naruto has something to do," Sasuke cut in before Naruto could say anything.

He couldn't think of a good excuse quickly enough anyway and, again, lying to her seemed completely shitty and he didn't want to have to do it. Didn't surprise him Sasuke was willing to.

"Oh, do you?" Mikoto asked. "Another one of these dates that's getting in the way of your studies?"

"Uh, no," he said. "No date. I promise I'm not seein' anyone."

"Naruto met someone at the concert last night," Sasuke commented, much to his annoyance.

"Did you?" Mikoto asked, immediately picking up on the subject.

"It wasn't anything," he said. "I bumped into the singer of his band beforehand without knowin' who she was. We talked for a while, and she gave me her number. That's all."

"Was she cute?" Mikoto asked.

Naruto bit his lip, avoiding looking at Sasuke. "Yeah. I'd say so."

"She wouldn't be Naruto's usual type," Sasuke remarked, voice so cool and calm that Naruto had to glance at him just to see if he was being serious right now.

Was he being provoked? No. Naruto wouldn't rise to the bait, and, besides, Sasuke had been the one to give him Rin's phone number. If he had an issue with it, he wouldn't have done that. What would be the point? Who would do something like that? A masochist, maybe. Funny, he'd always pegged Sasuke as more of a sadist. Perhaps he was a bit of both.

"It might be time for a change," Naruto said, still looking at him. "My taste in romantic partners hasn't been so great lately. I might give her a call when I come back."

"I think that's a great idea!" Mikoto said cheerfully. "Girls don't give out their numbers lightly."

"Naruto's very popular, mother," said Sasuke. "Not only this girl, but several others at school, and even a date on Tuesday with Itachi."

"You know, Naruto." Mikoto untied her apron and set it on a nearby hook, oblivious to the underlying tension in his and Sasuke's exchanges. "I was just telling Sasuke it might not be so bad if you married into the family, so if you and Itachi hit it off, just know you have my blessing!"

He was so caught off guard by her comment that he started choking on his tea. While Mikoto laughed, and when he finally was able to breathe again, he saw that Sasuke didn't look nearly as amused. Naruto couldn't figure him out today. He came over, bearing gifts from Rin and apparently wanting him to have a chance to see Mikoto before he left, and, yet, he was acting odd now. Like he was jealous. That, or he was simply mocking Naruto for something. It's not like Naruto couldn't dish it back, so it was fine if that's how Sasuke wanted to play.

"I'm pretty sure Itachi can do a lot better than me," Naruto said, trying to keep his tone light. "He should marry someone smart, wealthy, and really good looking."

"You're young yet," Mikoto replied. "You're already very handsome, and I think you're smart when you apply yourself. Wealthy… that's only a matter of time, and money isn't everything."

Naruto burst into a grin. "You're embarrassing me."

"It's true, isn't it? And, if it doesn't work out with Itachi, there's always Sasuke." Mikoto nudged him in the side with her tiny elbow. "How else can I keep you around if I never had a daughter?"

"Heh… if it's you, kaa-chan, I'll come whenever you call. I'm sure Sasuke wants to decide for himself who he marries. His standards," Naruto was looking at him while speaking, "Are very high, I'm sure."

"They must be considering he never brings any girls around," Mikoto added.

Naruto, finding it hilarious that Sasuke just got burned by his own mother, started laughing. It was also because the conversation was just too ridiculous, even for him. What else could he do but laugh? Sasuke, apparently not finding it funny at all, ended up walking out of the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Mikoto called. "Sasuke? Did I say something wrong?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nah. Probably just had to use the toilet."

"Oh, well, okay then. He doesn't, you know, have a girlfriend he's keeping from us, does he?" Mikoto asked.

"You know I couldn't tell you that," he replied, lifting an eyebrow and taking a final sip of his black tea. "Part of the bro code."

She tsk'd at him. "You can't even tell me if you've seen him show interest in anyone from school?"

"I… thought he was interested in someone once, but I turned out to be wrong." Naruto frowned. "He's a guy, kaa-chan. He's definitely had his crushes, I can assure you that much."

She just didn't need to know that included her oldest son's best friend and a guy who DJs at house parties. Who knows, maybe Yagura should be added to the list.

"He's alway so serious and private. I'm not being nosy so much as I hope that he doesn't spend all of his time studying or doing council work. I have to say," Mikoto smiled at him weakly, "I became a little worried the two of you were fighting when you hadn't been around in weeks."

"He and I might fight sometimes 'cause we're both stubborn." He set the mug on the counter and pushed it toward the sink. "But, he did want me to see you before I left, so I appreciate that."

"Sasuke told me you'll be visiting your mother. Make sure to bring her some flowers, hm?"

"Heh." He had his head bowed, but his gaze rose to her pretty face. "I will, don't worry. It's gonna be nice to talk to her. I mean, I talk to her now, and I know she's not there anymore, but it's still sorta nice… to have a place to go to that's… her."

"I understand." Mikoto came over and put her arms around him. "You know, I bet she loved you so much. And she thinks about you every day. If something ever happened to me, I'd be looking over both of my boys, making sure they didn't get into any trouble."

Naruto hugged her back, getting teary-eyed. "Thanks for sayin' so. Means a lot."

"If you ever want some motherly advice, you can always come to me. I love our talks. Even if there comes a time when you and Sasuke do fight, you're still important to me and always welcome in our home. I often think of you as our third son via the mailman."

Naruto snorted into her shoulder. "I guess if that turns out to be true, wouldn't be a good idea to marry me off to your other sons. I think they only do that in places like Kentucky and Arkansas."

"I imagine it'll be a while before either considers starting a family. They're both serious, just like their father. I'm sure if our parents hadn't pushed us together, he would've waited, too."

"Oh, like an arranged marriage?" Naruto asked. "I didn't know that's how you and Fugaku met."

"We knew each other, but it was our parents who encouraged us to date. Fugaku would want his sons to be happy, and that, for him, includes a family. I'd also love for both Itachi and Sasuke to do what makes them happy. If that includes a family, then wonderful. If not, that's okay, too."

"Itachi's a guy who knows what he wants. He could do anything, really. Sasuke…"

"Do you worry about Sasuke?" Mikoto asked.

"No," he said. "I never worry about Sasuke. I know he's gonna be successful at whatever he does. I just hope he picks the thing that makes him happy, too."

Mikoto pressed her lips to his forehead. "You, too, Naruto. Will you follow whatever path makes you happiest?"

He had to think about it. What did he truly want? Happiness sounded good. Even love sounded nice. However, thinking about love only caused a pain in his chest. It's not that he thought his future necessarily had to be tied to Sasuke, so him having said no to a relationship wasn't the end of the world. It's just that they'd been so tangled up in each other's lives for the past 10 months, he honestly hadn't given thought to much else. So, could he imagine something for himself, including future relationships, that were as meaningful to him as theirs had been?

Maybe. If Sasuke didn't want him, someone else had to, and Naruto needed to be open to it. People got their hearts broken all the time. He was no one special in that regard.

"I guess I have time to figure it out," he said. "Maybe I should, uh, go check on Sasuke. Make sure he didn't fall in."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay for dinner?"

"I… really don't think so." He, stepping away, grabbed his mug and washed it out in the sink. "And you said Fugaku is up in the study? I'll drop in and say hello before I go find Sasuke."

"He'd love that, dear." Mikoto returned to the stove, stirring her stew.

It smelled so good, Naruto almost regretted not promising to stay. He had a feeling it wouldn't be a smart idea. After he said hello to Sasuke's dad, he'd have a few words with Sasuke in private, and then try to grab the bus home in case it was going to snow again soon.

* * *

Sasuke, his temper getting the best of him, retreated to his bedroom in the hopes of clearing his head. He didn't know how to handle this Naruto who wanted nothing to do with him. For some reason, he'd imagined Naruto softening up more upon seeing his mother, although her topics of conversation weren't exactly helping.

Throwing himself across his bed, he put on his headphones and scrolled through his phone to to see if any photos had been posted from last night. Rin had sent him several messages, too, so to be polite, he responded. According to the comments he read, the show had been a success. He'd felt confident last night, so at least he could say he'd put all of his effort into it. It was good experience for him, to sing on stage. Now he'd understand where vocalists were coming from (when they acted temperamental like Yagura did at times).

He must've dozed off for a while because, next he opened his eyes, Naruto was standing near the bed. Sasuke, slipping off his headphones, thought he was dreaming in those three hazy seconds it took to realize he'd fallen asleep in the first place.

"What are you doing?" He asked, shifting up in the bed to lean against the headboard.

"I'm taking off," said Naruto. "It was nice talking to your mom, and I dropped in on your dad so I could bug him about stuff. Glad to see he's doing better."

"You're not staying for dinner?"

"Why would I?" Naruto asked, his expression and voice like steel.

Sighing, Sasuke got to his feet, Naruto stepping out of his way as if he'd hate for their bodies to make contact. He went to shut the door. Turning around, he saw Naruto had his arms crossed.

"It's for privacy," he said. "Not because I'm trapping you here."

"Don't worry. There's not a part of me that thinks you'd want that anyway."

"Can you cut me a little slack?" He asked, growing irritated with him. "I only wanted you to see her before you took off. It's not like I lured you here with the intention of molesting you."

Naruto laughed out loud. "Yeah, right. Like that's ever gonna happen again."

Sasuke approached him. "Good. Then, can I assume that means you're over me, and I can also move on? I won't have to worry about hurting your feelings when I have my one-night stands."

That wasn't necessary, but he'd been putting up with this since last night. Dammit. He expected Naruto to get angry and yell at him, but the blond only smirked.

"You can do what you want," said Naruto. "I've got my own options. I've always had other options besides you, so good thing I took the opportunity to explore them, huh?"

"You know, even if my words with you were harsh that day, what with my father spitting up blood and going to the _emergency room_ , you could at least accept that I was being honest."

"If you're trying to get me to feel pity for you," Naruto replied. "I already do. I've already accepted your decision, but that doesn't mean I have to think of you the way I used to."

"How's that?" He asked.

"Like a friend, obviously." Naruto's arms fell to his sides, and he wedged his hands into his back pockets.

"I didn't know you were so fickle," Sasuke remarked.

"How am I fickle?" Naruto took a step closer, which caused Sasuke's heart rate to spike just enough to give him hope that this would lead to a fight.

Fighting was a lot better than being ignored.

"It's only been a few weeks. Is that all it took to move on?"

"What's it to you?" Naruto asked. "I don't get why you care so much."

"I don't."

"Tell me somethin' I didn't already know."

"Alright," he said. "So when we see each other at school, shall we continue ignoring each other?"

"Is there a reason to do it any differently? I can be civil." Naruto shrugged. "But, I'm not gonna pretend everything between us is cool."

"What is it you're most upset about?" He asked.

"Again, that stuff isn't your business anymore. I only came to say goodbye."

It was the way Naruto said goodbye that caused Sasuke to reflexively catch him by the arm as he tried walking to the door.

"Let go."

Sasuke didn't. "Naruto."

"What? Why do you keep tryin' to corner me - "

"I am _not_ trying to corner you," he argued, digging his fingers in deeper.

"Then what is it you _want_?" Naruto asked angrily. "I hate even being in your room because the last time I was here, you fuckin' _broke_ my heart. I _hate_ you bein' vague about what's goin' on between us right now, and that you still haven't apologized. I don't get why you brought me that shirt or Rin's number, why you walked away when we were in the kitchen, or why you're acting like you expect me to just get over this like I had to every other time you made me feel like shit about myself. So, _what_? Tell me what it is you want from me, _Sasuke_. You're so smart, right? You'd think it'd be a lot easier for you to articulate whatever the fuck is goin' on in that head of yours. I'm tired of havin' to tell myself that's just who you are, because it's really not fair to me. So, yeah, pardon me if I'm doin' what I can to move on when you're the one who made it clear you don't want me. That me bein' honest with how I felt meant I was makin' you choose between me and your _family_. Like, really? It's not as if you acted like you had a problem with knowing my feelings when we were in bed afterward. Sure as fuck didn't seem you were opposed to a relationship until it occurred to me last night that you really will screw around with anyone who's willing, regardless of the consequences. I _trusted_ you, asshole!"

Sasuke, more shaken than he would've expected to be, watched Naruto stand there while his chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing. He didn't know where to start. Usually he had a solution at the ready, could talk himself out of any situation, or he knew how to control Naruto's temper, but this was a Naruto he didn't recognize. It was also a Naruto he'd created. He'd done this. He'd made Naruto bitter and angry because he'd not bothered to give him an explanation or apology. There was no justification for it if he claimed that they were friends.

At least now he knew Naruto _did_ share the same image Yagura had painted of him last night. Use him? Was that possible? For sex? Well, they'd never had sex, but everything else… no. It wasn't true. Everything up until October meant something to him. What changed in October was knowing how far he'd go to keep Naruto at his side.

"What?" Naruto asked. "Nothing to say for yourself? Because it's all true?"

Sasuke cleared his throat. "...It's true I didn't offer you an explanation or apology. I won't blame you for ignoring me either - "

"I'd fucking like to think not," Naruto said. "I didn't do anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with loving someone, nothing wrong with telling you, especially when you made me believe - "

"What?" He asked. "What did I make you believe?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "That you felt the same. Or, you at least felt something for me the entire time we were screwing around and spending all that time together."

"Does that mean you also had feelings for me while you were dating other people?"

"I dated other people because you said you didn't want to date! You're the one who first suggested putting boundaries between us, and 10 seconds later, you were all over me!"

"That's a lie," said Sasuke. "You dated them because you wanted to."

"Uh, yeah. Why would I date someone I _didn't_ want to date?" Naruto asked. "That's stupid, and I made sure we talked about it. I always told you I don't screw around on the people I'm with, and that means _in a relationship with_ , which is something you didn't and clearly still don't want. You can't have it both ways, Sasuke, and I let you up until now. I'm not your fuck buddy anymore."

"It was never like that," he said. "And if that's what you think, you don't know me at all."

"Is that supposed to _hurt_ my feelings? Because I already knew from what you said to me that morning that you might as well have been a stranger."

"I was angry," Sasuke replied. "Everyone was keeping secrets from me, starting with you making out by the pond with Yahiko - "

"Oh my God, that is such bullshit!" Naruto yelled. "You think I care about Yahiko? Because we knew each other for three hours and I asked him to do me a favor because, oh gosh, I was fucking trying to figure out why you were all I ever thought about? Sorry that I was born heterosexual, so it didn't immediately click with me that I was in love with my best guy friend!"

"Would you keep your voice down?" Sasuke glared.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "This has gone on long enough anyways. We're never gonna see eye to eye. Thanks for Rin's number. I'll be sure to give her a call so we can hang out when I get back."

"Good. That's why I gave it to you."

Naruto shook his head. "I hope you regret this later on, Sasuke."

Sasuke gave him a long look before replying, "I already have many things I regret, Naruto."

"Awesome." Naruto shoved past him, knocking into his shoulder as he went to open the door.

Just as he did, his mother let out a surprised yelp as if she'd been right outside the door.

"Sorry," she said. "I heard some shouting, so I wanted to - "

"Sorry, Mrs. Uchiha, but I have to get going," Naruto said in a cold tone. He'd caught her in his arms, so he quickly made sure she was upright before ghosting past.

His mother stared at Naruto's back and then at Sasuke.

"What happened?" She asked anxiously. "Were you fighting? You were so loud I'm surprised your father didn't come down the stairs!"

"It's nothing, mother." He stayed in the doorway, watching Naruto until he was gone from sight. It was almost like a repeat of that morning.

"Should I go get him?" She asked. "Sasuke! Don't let him leave angry!"

"There's nothing I can do." Sasuke, feeling light-headed, had to lean against the doorframe for support.

"What do you mean? Aren't you two friends? He's practically like a brother to you."

"I only have one brother," Sasuke said, turning cold eyes on her. "And you'll just have to deal with the fact Naruto won't be around anymore. So, please don't ask about him again."

"What?" Mikoto looked positively shocked. "Sasuke!"

Sasuke, feeling like he'd had his heart ripped out of his chest, drew back into the darkness of his room, not caring that he shut the door in his mother's face. He locked it, wanting privacy. He was tired of talking about Naruto, thinking about him, and being made to feel like a villain. Yes, it was a bad decision. It was all a bad decision because he was careless with people's feelings.

His mother knocked on the door. "Sasuke? Sweetie. Open the door. We can talk about it."

He didn't answer. Instead, he grabbed his headphones and collapsed on top of the bed. He pulled one of his pillows over his head as if hit would help block out everything. Naruto was right, he didn't have the skills that the blond did when it came to apologizing or navigating situations like this that dealt with… feelings and emotions. Naruto had always been the one to approach every conflict they'd had with each other head-on. It was him who smoothed out those silly fights they'd had before, the ones that seemed so stupid in comparison to this. What is it he'd expected? For them to go back to friends like they had been? Putting the physical stuff aside, had he not realized he'd broken Naruto's trust, the thing most important to either of them?

Naruto wasn't wrong… other than to say that night meant nothing to him. That none of it had ever meant anything to him, or that he didn't… that he didn't _love_ him. It's just he didn't know how to say it or show it… or reciprocate it in a way that didn't make him feel as if his entire world would fall apart, or that would be fair to Naruto if he couldn't come out.

He turned up the volume on the random playlist he'd chosen, once again mocked by the universe with its choice of songs.

 _What if I said I would break your heart?  
What if I said I have problems that made me mean?_

Like an idiot, he started to cry. It really felt like it was over. Everything he'd had with Naruto, he'd destroyed it with his own hands and pushed him away. Sasuke hated himself. He hated himself because he knew that it wasn't Naruto's fault. None of it was, it was him, because he was afraid to stand up to his father, afraid to come out, afraid of what would happen if they did get together. He was just as likely to screw everything up if they really did date because he was always sabotaging the things in his life that meant anything.

Why did life have to be like this? Why did a simple choice feel like life or death? Why was he willing to give Naruto to someone else for the sake of his pride? He knew he didn't deserve him. He'd always known, and yet… he wanted him. Because he was selfish and small and terrible. Because Naruto had been there, making him feel like he could be part of that light. Now, he was shut out from it entirely. Now that Naruto had seen his true self.

Sasuke, with a growl of frustration, rolled over onto his other side and stared at the clock on the bedside table, growing angrier with himself and everyone else who'd made him feel caged in somehow. It was so frustrating! None of it was in his control! Grabbing the clock, he ripped it free of the outlet as he sat up in bed, staring at it and the wall on the other side of the room. Surely his parents would yell if he broke it. That wasn't like him. He had to be perfect and reasonable and sane and not cause problems for anyone. For those reasons alone, he threw it so hard that it shattered into tiny pieces across his dresser and floor.

He sunk down into the bed again, feeling relief. There was a knock at the door, but he ignored it.

Sasuke rolled over onto his side and adjusted his headphones, turning the volume up higher.

 _I want love to grab my fingers gently  
Slam them in a doorway, put my face into the ground._

Instead of thinking about everything Naruto might do while angry and away from Seattle for a week, Sasuke tried to think of the new freedom being apart from him offered.

 _Yeah, I want love to change my friends to enemies,  
Change my friends to enemies and show me how it's all my fault._

It's not as if he'd screw around just for the sake of revenge, but now there was absolutely no reason to feel guilty if he felt like partying with Yagura, or basically doing whatever the _fuck_ he wanted, _whenever_ the _fuck_ he wanted to do it.

* * *

 **TBC**

Don't forget to review about the chapter.  
Interludes coming up next:  
Itachi & Naruto's date  
Sasuke & Itachi  
Main!Sasuke & Dream!Naruto


	6. Interlude I: Itachi & Naruto's date

a/n: I attached the Sasuke/Itachi part to this because I want to get to the next interlude more quickly. Thank you to Essenceof9 for the Starbuck's card! PLEASE LOOK FORWARD TO THE NEXT CHAPTER, AS WELL. MAIN SASUKE WILL BE THERE.

* * *

 _Dedicated to my wife from another life, Netamashii. Visit her tumblr._

* * *

Naruto was primping in the mirror of his bathroom when his phone started ringing. He'd been using styling wax, so he had to wipe his hands off on a towel before answering.

"Hey, you outside?" He asked, grinning when he saw it was Itachi.

"I'm here, but shall I make it more officially like a date by coming up to get you?" Itachi suggested in that deep, humor-filled voice of his Naruto loved so much.

"But then you'd have to meet my dad, and he'll try to give us _the talk_."

"Doesn't he know he's too late for that?"

"We don't usually discuss my sex life over breakfast, but, yeah, I imagine he's got some idea I'm not a little boy anymore," he replied. "Let me grab my jacket, and I'll be right down."

"Okay, I'm parked by the sidewalk."

"Mmkay. Be right there!"

Naruto rushed into his room to grab his wallet. He had his phone in his hand, so now he just needed to slip on his coat. He also opened his closet in search of a scarf and might as well bring a hat. It was cold when he'd come home from school this afternoon.

Ready now, he gave himself one last glance in the mirror hanging on the back of his door. It's not like it was a real date, but since they were going somewhere fancy to eat and then who knows what, he at least wanted to look presentable. Itachi always dressed nice whenever Naruto saw him, so he didn't want to embarrass the older man by looking like a total slob. He put on some nice jeans, a navy sweater with a denim button-up shirt underneath, and his favorite brown boots. For a second, he debated between the green coat he always wore and a leather bomber jacket that was a lot less casual. He decided on the leather. Oh, and cologne.

Not wanting to make Itachi wait, he bolted out of his bedroom, shouting a goodbye to his father who was reading his newest book on the couch. A small fire was crackling in their fireplace.

"He's not coming up here?" Minato asked.

"Nah! I told him I'd meet him at his car. I'm ready to go anyway! Don't wait up!"

"What do you mean don't wait up? You have school tomorrow."

"Yeah, but only a half day," Naruto complained as he put on gloves. "I'll sleep on the plane, or when we get to the hotel."

"Just, try to be home by midnight," said his dad. "That's all I ask."

"Alright! See ya later then!"

In the hallway, Naruto pressed the button several times, knowing it wouldn't make the elevator get here any faster. He'd been looking forward to this over the past couple of days, especially after that fight with Sasuke. Itachi gave him a call when he got in last night, and Naruto was happy just to hear his voice and know he was in town.

When the elevator doors opened, Naruto got in, again checking his reflection on the ride down to the lobby. Outside, it was blistering cold and windy, but the skies were clear. He spotted Itachi's car and jogged over, tapping at the window before opening the door and hopping in.

"Yo," he said, slamming the door shut. "Welcome home."

Itachi unsnapped his seatbelt. "At least give me a hug first."

Naruto reached across and threw his arms around the older man.

"You have no idea how glad I am to see you," Naruto said, squeezing him.

"It's nice to be missed," Itachi replied, sitting back again and rebuckling his belt.

Naruto put on his, too, and, out of habit, flipped the visor up and down a couple of times.

"I'm starvin', by the way," he said. "I hope this place is good."

"Would I take you anywhere that wasn't?" Itachi maneuvered them out of the tight space he was able to parallel park in, and then they were on their way to dinner.

"I hope it's not, like, _Pretty Woman_ fancy. Where my snail ends up bein' caught by the waiter. No escargot for me tonight, thanks."

"Don't you want to try something new on occasion?" Itachi asked, with a smirk.

Naruto eyed him. He looked as handsome as ever. When he smirked, he resembled Sasuke so much, except their humors really were very different, with Itachi's being slightly more sadistic. Also, Itachi had that amazing long, dark hair, and he was at least four or five inches taller than Sasuke (and him).

"I'll try if you make me," he said, "But I think I can carry on in life not eatin' snails."

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to." Itachi sent him a coy smile. "Unless that's something you're into these days?"

"Ha!" Naruto scratched at one of his cheeks. "Don't even try to act like you'd be interested. I know how you roll, Itachi. You're just a cocktease."

"Does that run in the family?" The older man asked as they stopped at a red light.

"Tch. I don't wanna talk about it," Naruto huffed, staring out the window.

"Fine. Let's not. He was especially grouchy last night, this morning, and this afternoon. He wouldn't even come out of his room when he knew I was headed to pick you up."

"He's such a brat, I swear. Would you believe he hasn't apologized to me yet?"

"It saddens me to hear that, but I do know how stubborn my foolish little brother can be," Itachi remarked in a regretful tone. "However, I hear that mother had a nice time talking to you. You can give me the details at dinner if you'd prefer, but she certainly had a lot of… questions."

"Questions?" Naruto asked.

"Well. How shall I put this? She mentioned on Sunday night she heard the two of you arguing. Her questions were very leading, so I'm curious as to what she heard, but all she really wanted to know was if the two of you were fighting, and, if so, why you were. That's all."

"Eh, that sucks. It wasn't my intention to get into it then, but he was… I dunno. I almost felt like he asked me to come because he thought I'd just forgive him, and we'd get on with it without him havin' to apologize or explain anything, which is what he always does."

"Of course." Itachi nodded. "I told her she'd have to ask Sasuke if she wanted to know, but I did hint that she ought to leave it alone for now."

"I feel bad now." Naruto frowned.

"Don't worry about it. You know how highly she thinks of you, Naruto. But, let's talk about something else. How's school, otherwise? Will you have straight A's this semester?"

Naruto snorted. "Yeah, right. I'll be lucky if I pull a 3.0 this semester, and that's because, well, up until October, your brother was still helpin' me out. Kayla tried, too, but, eh, I wasn't feelin' schoolwork this semester. I'm glad it'll be over for me after Wednesday."

"Don't use that as an excuse to sabotage the progress you've made. This is an important time for someone your age, now that you'll be applying to colleges."

"You sound like my dad," Naruto commented and smirked.

"It's too bad I'm not here, or I could tutor you."

"Uh, yeah. That'd be amazing, but what a waste of your talent tryin' to teach someone as slow as me. What are you, like, top of your class at Stanford? Am I gonna get an invite to your graduation?"

"Of course." Itachi smiled at him. "As long as you make up with my brother by then. I won't have any squabbling during my special day."

"Hmph."

"Christmas miracles do happen," Itachi teased.

"Yeah, well I won't be here on Christmas, so I don't expect a miracle. In fact, when I get back, I'm thinkin' about callin' up this girl I met on Saturday night. Woman I should say. She was older than me. Nineteen. Cute, too."

"I thought you already had that Kayla girl in your class," Itachi said. "Or, do you have so many girlfriends that I can no longer keep track?"

"Nah. There's her, and another girl I dated over the summer, but it's not gonna happen again. I hang out with Kayla sometimes. She's really nice. You'd like her, and she's on student council this year with Sasuke."

"I think I've heard Sasuke mention her before, and he only said very positive things."

"Eh, I just think she and I make better friends. It's almost like, I dunno. She's too perfect? In a nice way, I mean, but there's no…"

"Spark?" Itachi suggested. "It's always best to follow your instincts if that's how you feel. Tell me more about this new older woman who's captivated you so?"

Naruto chuckled. "Well, I bumped into her before a show that Sai and I went to see - "

"Is this the one Sasuke ended up subbing in for? And singing even?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know that at the time," Naruto explained. "If I had, I doubt I would've gone, but anyway. She made fun of me, we got to talkin', she told me she was the singer, and I'm sad to say I looked like a total dumbass 'cause I didn't research them before we went. Didn't know who she was, but she didn't act bitchy about it. She was cute, and funny, and, uh, very open about her sexuality." Grinning, he blushed at the memory. "I could date a bi girl. That's hot, right?"

"She told you that already?" Itachi asked. "My, everyone is so forward these days."

"I think it's kinda cool. It's like people wanna get that stuff out there. I like it."

"Yes, as I recall, you liked it when Sasuke came out to you right away."

"Yeah, well… I dunno how honest he is anymore," Naruto murmured. "I feel like he's changed. Or, maybe I see him differently these days. I keep thinkin' about the shit that went down in October, and then what he did when your dad was sick, and I don't get it. Like I said, he hasn't tried to explain it and acts like he doesn't care how bad he hurt me. Is that what friends do? Okay, I get it. You don't wanna date me, but don't rip out my heart and stomp on it, smear it across the walls for me to see. Be cool when a guy confesses his gay feelings. Jeez."

"Ah, yes. I quite agree as I'm sure you know. He could've and should've handled it much differently regardless of how shocked he was about father. Yahiko and I let him know we weren't very pleased with his behavior." Itachi was frowning now, which made Naruto want to drop the subject entirely. He was tired of talking about Sasuke all the time anyway.

"Eh. Let's forget about it. I'm excited for dinner. Is it very far away?"

"No," said Itachi. "It's on 5th, so not far at all. I kept in mind that it was a school night for you."

"So thoughtful," he mused dryly. "How about you? Any girlfriends you wanna tell me about… boyfriends?"

Itachi laughed softly. "You'd be the first to know. Unfortunately, my studies leave me little time for such things. I can always live vicariously through Yahiko and Konan."

"Yeah, I heard they were back together."

"Do you think he told Konan about the kiss the two of you shared?"

"I doubt it." Naruto brushed his fingers across his lips. "I know you're teasing me, but, not gonna lie, the guy's a good kisser."

"Is he? I wouldn't know."

Naruto leaned over, trying to study his expression. "I can't tell if you're kidding or not."

"I believe that's the point," Itachi replied.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" He wrapped his fingers around his seatbelt strap.

"Sure. What would you like to know?"

"I mean, you know you're an attractive guy, right? So, do you attract a lot of men and women to you without even trying? I feel like you would."

Itachi kept his eyes on the road, but appeared thoughtful. "If you're asking whether I've had both sexes come onto me, I'm sure you can imagine the answer given the circle of people I keep."

"I'm just curious, since I haven't heard of you datin' anybody yet, that I dunno how a guy like you would choose," Naruto tried to explain.

"A guy like me?"

"Well, if you told someone you liked them, they wouldn't refuse you, right?"

"I'm sure that it might be very easy for someone to reject me," he said. "Unless they're interested in me for especially shallow reasons. I honestly have no time to give a romantic partner right now, so I doubt I would subject anyone to that kind of neglect."

"That's a very diplomatic answer," Naruto said. "Sorry for askin' somethin' so weird. My longest relationship lasted a month, and I used to think I wasn't even all that into the idea of datin' while in high school, but lately I've felt like I want to… I mean, besides Sasuke. I just… want that."

Itachi sighed. "Naruto, when you moved to Seattle you'd recently lost your mother. It would make sense you wouldn't be interested in forming relationships where you could get hurt if it didn't work out, but it's also possible you're simply growing up. Maybe… if you'll forgive me for bringing up my brother again, you were able to realize you wanted something more because of the way you grew to feel about him. But, would you have been happy dating him?"

"I guess we'll never know," he commented under his breath. "I dunno how that would've gone, but I was willing to figure it out. I really thought he felt the same about me."

"You don't think he did feel the same?"

"No. Why would you reject someone you felt somethin' for like that?" He asked. "That doesn't make sense."

"To you, it doesn't," said Itachi. "To my brother, the notion might have been terrifying. Not only coming out to our parents, but Sasuke's still very immature. The most I've seen him care about another person's well-being was with you, Naruto, but if he felt cornered, it's hard to say how he would react. Or, I suppose we do know. As to why he won't apologize, I can't say I'm sure, but I _am_ disappointed. Even if, for whatever reason, he thinks he's doing the right thing, that's no excuse for how he said it or for not apologizing and making it right with you."

"What do you mean 'cornered'?" He asked. "And what do you mean by 'right thing' exactly? How was what he did the right thing?"

"For example, let's say my brother's always had feelings for you but felt as though you didn't feel the same because you identify as straight. So, when confronted with your actual feelings, perhaps he panicked?"

"Hm." Naruto considered it, but it didn't seem right. "Then why did he act like he was, uh… _into_ it? Like… afterward, when we were alone. It was only in the morning, after you took your dad to the hospital, that he unleashed all that crazy on me."

"Then maybe it's the other alternative, which is he thought he was doing the right thing, for himself as well as you. He decided that, because of our father's health, he couldn't say yes to you because he'd never be able to date you. He seems to think coming out would worsen our father's health since the ulcer was due to stress. Mind you, Naruto, _that_ stress is due to my father's tendency to overwork himself and the neglect he shows for his health."

"So, what?" He asked. "If he can't date me, he decides to push me away by sayin' a bunch of terrible shit that he doesn't mean? Why go that far? Why not just ask me if I'd wait for him?"

"I would say because he doesn't want to make you wait," Itachi answered. "But, only Sasuke knows for sure, and there's a possibility even _he_ doesn't know why he did what he did."

Naruto wanted to hit his head against the dashboard. "Why couldn't I have fallen for you, instead? You're clearly the less unhinged of the two of you."

"As an objective observer," Itachi chuckled. "As objective as I _can_ be when he's my precious younger brother and you're my good friend, I'd like to tell you I've always thought the two of you were a very good match. I still think that, but if circumstances dictate you aren't able to get together at this time, perhaps it will be possible in the future."

"Meaning you think I should wait for him?" Naruto was surprised to hear that.

"No. I agree with Sasuke in that you shouldn't wait on him. He might have done this in a very backasswards kind of way, so to speak, but I do believe he's thinking about you, even while he's hurting you. If it's any consolation, it's abundantly clear my brother is miserable without you."

"Really?" Naruto asked, perhaps a little too eagerly. "I mean. Could've fooled me."

"It's Sasuke. I'm not excusing his behavior, but have you ever known him to be particularly good at expressing himself? Especially when it comes to his feelings?" Itachi tapped the index and middle finger of his right hand against the steering wheel. "We're a reserved family. It's the curse of being born an Uchiha. Ah, here we are."

Naruto looked out the window at the older brick building on the corner of the block. "Crow, huh?"

"I thought it would be nice to eat somewhere intimate," Itachi remarked. "Looks like there's someone leaving now." He, once again, expertly wedged the SUV into a tight parking space.

"You're gonna have to teach me how to do this one day. I'd be screwed if we didn't all have bumpers." He undid his seatbelt when Itachi turned off the ignition.

"Shall we?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah. It looks really nice. I can't wait." Naruto smiled affectionately at the older man. "It really does feel like a date now, huh? I might even start to get nervous."

Itachi, suddenly leaning over into his space, nearly gave him a heart attack. "I do wonder," he said. "That if such a thing were true, you might not be able to handle me."

"...If that's a challenge," Naruto replied, trying to keep cool. "I'm intrigued. And flattered."

"It was a jest." Itachi placed a hand on his head and ruffled his hair. "As annoyed as the both of us are with Sasuke at present, I wouldn't do that to him. He'd stroke out, I'm afraid."

Naruto sighed. "Ah, everything has to always be about catering to his fragile ego."

"It's because, in the end, we love him, isn't it?" Itachi asked.

"We'll see," Naruto said and unbuckled his belt. "Ready?"

"I am. Let's get in there before we starve to death. I haven't eaten much today either."

They both got out of the car and, side by side, walked into the restaurant where, the hostess - an attractive blonde in her early 20s - greeted them swiftly and led the way to their reserved table. The restaurant wasn't especially large, but it was warm and cozy. There were plenty of open tables, no surprise given the weather and projection for more snow tonight. There were several two-top tables and wooden booths, a bar at the rear, and exposed ductwork. They were sat in one of the booths, a candle already lit, and lots of fancy stem and silverware.

"I'm glad I dressed up," he commented as he picked up a menu.

The hostess asked if they'd like anything to drink, to which Itachi ordered a glass of wine, and Naruto asked for a Coke. After they had some time to think about what they wanted to order, they decided to split a cheese plate, Itachi ordered slow-braised beef cheeks (much to Naruto's amusement), and he ordered the house lasagne because it sounded amazing.

They chatted a while, leaving Sasuke out of the conversation, as Naruto grilled him more about life at Stanford and whether or not he'd brought him back a sweatshirt for Christmas.

"I suppose we won't know until you return from your trip," Itachi said, sipping at his red wine.

Naruto picked up a piece of the cheese and paired it with a cracker. "That's no fair. It's gonna be cold in Chicago!"

"As if it's not cold in Seattle now," Itachi replied, picking up one of the almonds on their shared plate.

"I didn't know you were such a big almond fan," Naruto remarked.

"I am. I love all kinds of nuts."

Naruto started cackling.

"Very mature," Itachi told him with a grin. "Would you like a sip of my wine?"

"Can I?" Naruto glanced around as if afraid they'd get caught.

"It'll be my only one tonight since I'll be driving you around."

Naruto took it from him, held the glass to his lips, and had a sip. "S'alright. I think I'm more of a beer kinda guy."

"Hidan would love to hear you say as much. Have you seen anyone lately, or have you been too busy partying on the weekends to give anyone a call?"

"Nah." Naruto pushed the wine back his way. "I've texted with Dei and Jiroubou. I saw Kimimaro at the club Sai and I go to, but he was _preoccupied_."

"Of course he was." Itachi smiled. "I'm sure we'll all be getting together while I'm here. Maybe we can figure something out when you return. Perhaps away from the house if you'd like."

"Sure, that sounds good. I don't have any plans for New Year's yet, although Sai talked about goin' to a party one of his older friends is havin' at his house, but it's all the way in Tacoma, so dunno how I feel about that." Naruto felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. "Sorry, lemme just check who this is in case it's an emergency."

 _Did you enjoy chatting with Sasuke the other night?_

Naruto didn't recognize the number. _Who is this?_

 _I'll be sure to take care of him while you're gone, don't worry._

"Something wrong?" Itachi asked.

"I'm gettin' weird texts… although, I think I can guess who it is."

"Oh, who is it?"

"Do you know that Yagura guy very well? The one Sasuke plays with a lotta the times? The singer?" Naruto explained.

"I know of him, but I don't know him well," Itachi said.

"He pulled some weird shit the other night. After the concert… I won't tell you what it was 'cause I think you might kill him, but I have a feelin' it was kind of a set up."

"Set up? Also, maybe you should tell me what exactly he did that I'd need to kill him."

"No. I like you and don't want you to go to jail," Naruto replied, typing out another text. _Get bent, Yagura. Say another word, and I'll share the photos you sent with Itachi. He's here now._

 _You've moved on from one Uchiha to the other, eh? Who's better in bed?_

"Tch." Naruto put his phone away. "He's so stupid. He's obsessed with your brother and me. Or, maybe just obsessed with Sasuke. It's really creepy."

"Should I have a word with my brother?" Itachi's expression was a little scary, so Naruto decided to change the subject.

"It's nothin' he can't handle, so anyway. What's the family plannin' for Christmas?"

Itachi eyed him suspiciously before picking up his glass. "As far as I know, we're staying home and enjoying the day as a family."

"That's nice. I shoulda told your mom that the decorations looked nice. I saw the tree in the livin' room, but I was distracted. Tell her I said it looked nice?"

"I will."

Naruto felt his phone go off again, but this time, he didn't bother to check. "Say, are you gonna drink the rest of that?"

Itachi blinked at him. "You mean the rest of this wine I'm drinking now?"

"Yeah, that one." Naruto grinned.

"... I suppose not." He handed the glass over to him. "Are you trying to get drunk so that you can take advantage of me?"

Naruto laughed hard at that. "Doesn't it usually work the other way around?"

"I don't know." Itachi's dark eyes gleamed. "You tell me."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were flirtin' with me."

"Would that be so terrible?"

Naruto nearly spit out his wine. "...What?"

"Maybe this Yagura simply likes messing with you, Naruto. You are so fun to tease."

"Oh, that was mean! Don't get my hopes up like that. And, yeah, he probably does like it. Apparently, I'm very easy to rile. Sasuke always says so."

"Being a sadist does tend to run in our family." Itachi set his chin on his hand, eyes still twinkling in amusement.

"You're lucky you're really good lookin'," Naruto told him, finishing off the rest of the wine. "'Cause you could basically get away with sayin' anything."

"Who's more good looking, would you say?" Itachi asked. "Me… or my brother?"

"Is that a serious question?" He pushed the empty glass to the side of the table. "You're both really good lookin' and in different ways."

"Yes, but who's _better_ looking?"

"Tch. I get it, I get it. I'm easy to fuck with… and I'm not answerin' that, 'cause you'll go home and hold it over Sasuke's head that I told you."

"That must mean it's me, am I correct?" Itachi asked.

"Hypothetically, let's say it was. Then what?"

"Considering we're already on a date as we speak, I do wonder."

"Stop - " Naruto had to touch his face, his cheeks were growing so hot. "Stop flirtin' with me, dammit! It's…" He made another noise of frustration. "You damn Uchihas. Just 'cause you're so smart and attractive and, at times, sexy… ugh. Why won't you use your powers for good?"

Itachi chuckled. "I do usually, but it's fun to dabble in both sometimes."

"True. If anyone's got some dark in him, it'd probably be Sasuke."

"Everyone has some dark in them," said Itachi. "Even you."

"Oh, I know it. I'd say I've got more dark in me than you or Sasuke combined."

Itachi lifted his chin off his hand, looking curious. "What makes you say that, Naruto?"

He shrugged. "It's just a feeling."

Their server arrived, bringing their entrees, both of which looked fantastic. After she left, they ate while Naruto talked about what he wanted to do while in Chicago, about the college visit he was going to make to Northern on Friday morning, and about the friends he wanted to see. It was nice to talk to Itachi because he was always seemed to enjoy listening to whatever Naruto had to say. He was never judgmental either, and asked questions when he felt like it. It was different than talking to Sasuke, but he wasn't sure exactly how, since they really were rather similar in a lot of ways, too. Itachi, of course, was slightly more imposing at times, but he never acted as if he was better than anyone despite being a genius. Naruto knew he was extremely intelligent, but he was also very down to earth. Being a contradiction was one of Itachi's more interesting qualities. Naruto liked him _a lot_. He was that older brother figure he'd secretly always wanted. He gave good advice, scolded him when necessary, and praised him sincerely when he deserved it. Plus, even if he was trying to not talk about Sasuke, when they did, it was good to hear Itachi's point of view because who else knew Sasuke as well as his older brother?

When they finished eating, Itachi grabbed the bill even though Naruto had his dad's credit card.

"Fine, then if we go somewhere for dessert, I'm buyin'," Naruto said.

"That sounds like a deal. I was thinking we could go to this piano bar downtown. There's a jazz band I wouldn't mind seeing. If that's okay with you."

Naruto was busy putting on his coat. "No, that sounds good. I don't think I've ever been to a piano bar, but yeah, that sounds… very date-ish, too."

Itachi handed him his scarf. "I wonder if that means I should prepare myself for a goodnight kiss?"

Naruto snickered. "Don't get too ahead of yourself. I'm not that easy."

"No?"

"Well, maybe a little." He threw the scarf around his neck, but stepping up to him, Itachi took hold of it and knotted it for him. "Yeah, I could definitely put out if you're gonna keep doin' stuff like that. Charming, bastard."

"Bastard?" Itachi also put on his gloves. "I thought that was a pet name reserved for my brother."

"Meh." Naruto slid his hands into his pockets. "No pet names for him anymore."

"Very well." Itachi briefly took his arm to get him moving, and as they went out the door, he had his hand on Naruto's lower back, something Sasuke constantly did.

"Thanks, by the way," Naruto said as they were walking outside. It had started to snow as forecasted. "For takin' me out tonight and getting my mind off stuff."

"There's that," replied Itachi. "But I also wanted to spend time with you. Since I know you won't be coming around the house while I'm at home."

"Yeah, well." Naruto glanced up at the sky and the falling snow. "Some things aren't meant to be, I guess."

* * *

The best thing about having a surrogate older brother when a teenager is the opportunities for access to alcohol. Naruto, while scarfing down this large slice of chocolate-raspberry cake, managed to confiscate Itachi's second glass of wine.

"If you're going to use me for alcohol," said Itachi, "Why not just tell me what you'd like? Didn't you say you prefer beer?"

"I can't help it! You offered. Do you want some of my cake as a fair trade?" Naruto asked while licking crumbs from his fork. "I don't think I can eat all of it."

"If you're offering."

Naruto chuckled as he pushed the plate toward him, content with the chill atmosphere of the downtown piano bar as he sipped at the remainder of Itachi's wine. Two glasses of that stuff, and he was feeling kind of light-headed. The place was dark and looked a little like the speakeasies he'd seen in various mobster movies. The music was relaxing, too. He didn't know much about jazz, but listening to the group playing now made it seem a very cool thing to do.

"Have you ever taken Sasuke here?" Naruto asked.

"No, I can't say that I have," Itachi replied, digging into the slice of cake. He'd also ordered his own dessert earlier. Naruto forgot how much the older man liked his sweets.

"This has been nice." Naruto spun the stem of the glass between his fingers. "You're easy to get along with, y'know that?"

"As are you," said Itachi. "Especially when you let me have your cake."

Naruto laughed. "You know you can order somethin' else, right?"

"Yes, but you have a curfew and it's," Itachi checked his watch, "It's almost 11."

"My dad said midnight, but also the weather may get worse, and I'd hate for you to drive home if it starts snowin' really bad."

"We'll stay just a little longer. It's been relaxing for me, too. I imagine I'll be attacked once I get home. Or, completely ignored. I suppose it depends on my brother's mood."

"I doubt he even cares you're out with me." Resting his elbow on the edge of the table, he dropped his chin onto his hand, staring at the tablecloth through the empty wine glass. Naruto set it down before he did something dumb like break it.

"I think he cares. Very much."

"Why?"

"Because he's acting jealous?" Itachi suggested. "Or, he feels betrayed I've taken your side. We didn't speak much on the ride from the airport to the house. The family had dinner together, and then Sasuke retreated to his room, claiming to have a big test today."

Naruto shrugged. "Dunno. I saw him in gym and English, but we didn't talk as per usual."

"I take it the conversation that happened on Sunday didn't smooth anything out?"

"Not really. Although, I was able to get a lotta stuff off my chest. When… that happened, that morning… I went home, and I really thought he'd come around, or he'd apologize. Like, the next day. We've fought before, but we're pretty good about workin' it out. Looking back, maybe it was me who always had to let stuff go, but when we fought, it was never over big stuff except maybe me datin' over the summer, the house party incident, and then this."

"Of course, you realize," said Itachi, "That those three things are all connected."

"Yeah, in that Sasuke's an asshole." Naruto frowned as he glanced at the jazz quartet.

Very briefly, Rin came to mind while he watched them. He still hadn't called or texted her. The timing seemed off, and he should wait until he got back. It felt weird to make plans with a girl when he knew he was going to Chicago to party and be wild. Hopefully.

"Hey, Itachi. About Rin. Do you think I should wait to call her until after I get home?"

"Why? Are you going to be doing things with other women while you're away?" Itachi asked, ever the perceptive bastard.

"So… wait then? She's gonna think I'm ignoring her, assuming she even remembers me or notices that I haven't texted her yet."

"Text her to say you're going out of town but want to catch up when you return. You're not making any promises. It's simply being polite." Itachi, having finished his cake, set down his fork on the plate.

Meanwhile, their server came around to give them the bill. Itachi attempted to grab it, but Naruto snatched it up first and put down his dad's credit card.

"Dessert's on me," he said. "Or, well, on dad. But he was appreciative you were gettin' me out of the apartment tonight."

"Oh. Are the two of you having some issues?" Graciously, Itachi let him pay the bill.

The server returned to pick up the billfold and disappeared again.

"I think he's stressed about bein' away from work for a week. No, stuff between us is better, but I think he and I are just so different. I was always more like my mom in a lot of ways."

"It's interesting how sons do tend to resemble their mothers, hm?" Itachi smiled.

"Yeah, looks-wise, both you and Sasuke look a lot like Mikoto. That's probably where you two got your sense of humors from 'cause she can be sadistic when she wants to, that's for sure."

"She certainly can." Itachi smirked. "I bet it's difficult raising two boys. I'm sure she would've liked to have had a daughter."

"Well, if you get married, she'd at least have a daughter-in-law."

"That would be in the very distant future."

The server returned again, and Naruto signed for his dad, making sure to tip generously since it wasn't his money, and the guy was really nice.

"It's funny," he said, setting down the pen. "Your mom was sayin' some weird stuff when the three of us were in the kitchen… like, that she wanted to marry me off to one of you? I've never heard her talk like that before, but that's about when Sasuke walked out."

Itachi appeared pensive. "Mother said something like that? Was father around?"

"No, he was upstairs."

Itachi sighed. "For a while, I've suspected mother knows more than she leads on, but just how much is the question."

"That could be good, right? If she knows Sasuke's gay, then it wouldn't be a surprise? I've always thought she has some idea, too, but then she asked me if Sasuke has any secret girlfriends he's not telling her about, so…"

"Perhaps she has her suspicions but isn't quite sure. I bet she also took you at your word, whatever you said… you might not realize it, but the friends act is surprisingly convincing, to those of us who don't know the truth. Frankly, I don't know how you haven't been caught."

Naruto cleared his throat. "Heh. There have been close calls. It helps that I usually lock the door - wait. Do you really want to hear about this stuff?"

"Not especially, but as long as it's you and not some creep. Are you sure you don't want to let me know what this Yagura boy is up to in regard to my brother?"

"Like I said," Naruto grinned, "I wanna keep you out of jail. Do you know what they'd do to pretty boys like you in jail?"

"I believe I could hold my own," Itachi replied.

"I know you could. None of it matters anymore. As for Yagura… well, whatever Sasuke wants to do with that guy is up to him now, isn't it?"

Itachi looked concerned. "You think there's really something going on between those two?"

Naruto shrugged. "To tell you the truth, I just don't know with Sasuke anymore. He stayed at his apartment after the show on Saturday. I know of the few times we've interacted, he's always been a giant dick, and does some pretty crappy things. Oh."

"What is it?"

"He did insinuate not that long ago that Yagura was hittin' on him. I thought the guy was straight. Then again, I thought I was, too." Naruto let out another sigh as he gave one last glance at the band. He should take his dad here some time. His dad liked jazz.

"I'm ready if you are," he said. "I'd hate to postpone the inevitable between you and Sasuke."

"It'll be amusing at the very least. I'm very surprised he hasn't texted me this evening. He's showing a considerable amount of restraint."

They got up from the table and put on their coats and scarves and gloves. Walking out, Itachi set his hand on Naruto's back again, making him smile. Itachi even opened the car door for him before walking around to the other side.

"Oh, yeah. You'd definitely get laid tonight if that was an option," Naruto joked when they were both inside the car.

It was snowing harder than earlier, so it was a good idea to go home.

"I'll take that as a compliment," said Itachi, "But the age difference does put me in a precarious situation. Even if the age of consent in Washington _is_ 16."

"Yeah…" Naruto tried not to think about Yahiko and Sasuke. "Well, think of me on Wednesday night while we're flyin'. I'm not a big fan of planes."

"It's not a very long flight, so you'll be okay. Take a nap, or watch a movie."

"Hopefully there won't be a snowstorm…"

"They won't fly in unsafe weather conditions, don't worry, but planes are built to take a lot of various elements. It's, by far, the safest way to travel," Itachi told him.

"People say that, but I feel pretty good when I'm just walkin' on the ground?"

Itachi chuckled. "Well, text me when you get there, and let me know you're okay. I'll pass the information along to Sasuke. He'd want to know, too, even if he won't say so."

"Okay."

The drive was only 20 minutes, even with the snow. There was hardly any traffic except the buses. When Itachi parked on the side of the road, Naruto gave him a big grin.

"So," he said, imitating a girl's voice. "I had a really nice time tonight."

"Get out."

Naruto chuckled. "I _did_ , though! I had a good time talkin' to you about everything. It was good to see you, too. You always make me feel so calm about stuff. It's not like I have anyone to talk to about this right now, so it helped a lot. Thank you."

"Keep talking like that, and I really will give you a goodnight kiss."

"Is that a promise?" Naruto asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Itachi rolled his eyes. "I understand what my brother finds so charming about you."

"Oh? Do you? Are you fallin' for me, Itachi?"

"Goodbye, Naruto. Have a safe trip. Text me when you get there and when you get back, or anytime in between. Or call if you'd like to talk. I'll keep you in the loop about what's happening here if you'd like?"

"No. It's okay. I'd rather keep it out of mind and that means… nah. I don't wanna know. I mean, not about him. I hope that's not offensive since he's your brother."

"No, I understand perfectly. I'll see you when you get back. Are you sure you don't want me to walk you to your door?"

"Nah." Naruto dismissed the suggestion with a wave of his hand. "I'd like you to get home as soon as possible. Would you mind textin' me to let me know you got home okay?"

"Of course, dear."

"Heh." Naruto opened the car door and gave one last wave.

He stood on the sidewalk, watching Itachi drive off, wondering if Sasuke really would be a dick about it once he got home. Sliding his hands into his pockets, Naruto stared up at the falling snow and closed his eyes. He felt the flakes hitting his face and sighed out. Getting out of Seattle for a while was definitely a good thing that he was looking forward to, although he'd be able to appreciate it a lot more once their plane landed safely at O'Hare. After that, he had every intention of doing _whatever_ he wanted, _whenever_ he wanted. Without feeling any guilt about it whatsoever since even he deserved to have some fun from time to time.

* * *

 _Itachi & Sasuke_

It was sometime around midnight when his brother finally came home, not that Sasuke had been keeping track of the hours or anything. He knew Itachi would only make fun of him if he went out there and interrogated him about his "date" with Naruto. Sasuke figured that he must've been the topic of conversation at least once. It did feel as though he was being betrayed, but it didn't come as a surprise given how angry Itachi had been at him a month ago.

Meanwhile, he was attempting to read in order to distract himself. He predicted Itachi would eventually come knocking, which his brother did end up doing all of 10 minutes later. Itachi pushed the bedroom door open when Sasuke didn't immediately invite him into his room.

"What?" He asked. "I'm reading."

"At this time of night?" Itachi, seeming in a good mood, held onto the doorframe. "On a school night, you're usually in bed by 10.30 at the latest."

"There's only a few days left of the semester, I think I can manage."

"Very well. I only came to say goodnight. Now that I see you're busy, I'll just - "

"If you came to gloat, get it over with," he said, tossing the book toward his feet. "How was your date? Was it magical? Are the two of you going to get _engaged_ in secret now?"

"I was saving that for the second date."

Itachi stepped into his room, quietly shut the door, and sat on the desk chair. Sasuke smirked. If only his brother knew the types of things that had happened on there.

"Why are you smirking so perversely?" Itachi asked.

"No reason. Well, how was it?"

"If I had to say," Itachi crossed one leg over the other, "Very nice. Very relaxing. We went to dinner, I gave him some of my wine, then we went to a piano bar for dessert. He let me eat what was left of his cake. Then I drove him home like a gentleman."

Sasuke glared. "Good for you."

"I do have questions I'd like to ask you after talking to him this evening," Itachi said, idly cracking his knuckles, which, for whatever reason, made Sasuke anxious.

He tried to keep his voice calm. "Oh?"

"First, do tell me. How was your evening?"

"You don't really care about that, go on and ask me your questions."

"Are you seeing a boy named Yagura?" Itachi asked.

"That's your question?" Sasuke grabbed his book, got out of bed, and returned it to its place on the shelf. "Why would you ask that? Also, why would it be any of your business?"

"Because some things Naruto told me tonight concerned me."

Sasuke took a seat on the corner of the bed, closest to his brother. "Is that all the two of you did tonight? Gossip about me like a couple of old ladies?"

"You did come up in conversation, believe it or not. That's to be expected and was the purpose of he and I getting together. While you're my brother, Naruto is a friend, and someone I do care about and think deserved better than what you did to him, Sasuke."

Sasuke could imagine his brother digging for information, and interrogating someone as clueless as Naruto would be easy, but since he had no idea exactly what Naruto said, he didn't know from what he should be defending himself.

"No," he said. "I'm not _seeing_ anyone. Least of all Yagura. If I wasn't going to _see_ Naruto, why would I _see_ someone else?"

"Because I know you keep your secrets from me," Itachi said, his tone having grown rather dark, enough to set him on edge. "And you may think I'm unaware, but it's me being very lenient and understanding of the fact you're young and going to make _mistakes_ in life."

Sasuke blinked, trying to grapple with the meaning of his words. Sweat broke out on his forehead. He didn't want to inquire about that comment because he was afraid what the answer might be.

"Well, thank you so much for allowing me to live my life as I see fit."

"Naruto doesn't seem to think he's a good influence on you," Itachi stated frankly. He didn't give me specifics, but I trust his judgment. I'd like to think you won't be doing anything rash while the two of you are fighting. I'd advise you not to do any _more_ things you'll only end up regretting."

"Why are you talking in riddles? Just say what you have to say."

"Very well. I think you're foolish and immature for not having apologized to Naruto. He's more than willing to accept your rejection, but you hurt his feelings, and he's your friend. I think he's more to that than you, so I wish you'd treat him as such because, to the rest of us, he's already family. Even mother is starting to ask questions, in case you weren't aware."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Naruto said she was asking him about your love life. I don't know if you want to hear this, but I think mother has some clue. About you. Maybe even about you and Naruto."

"...Did she say something to you?"

"She asked me whether the two of you were fighting. I gave her an ambiguous answer, but you have to wonder how much she heard while you were arguing in your room on Sunday. Naruto said she was outside the door when he left. Are you prepared if she confronts you about it?"

Sasuke glanced down at his lap. "She won't ask. Because she doesn't want to know."

"I don't know if I believe that to be true. I only wanted to make sure you're aware."

"Fine. I'll be more careful."

"That's what you're going to do?" Itachi asked.

"Yes. What else is it I'm supposed to do? If you expect me to make things right with Naruto, your _boyfriend_ hasn't made it very easy on me either. He ignores me when he can and doesn't want to be in the same room as me. The only reason we talked this weekend was because Yagura decided to interfere. Naruto called me that night, we talked. I decided to confront him, so I went to his apartment and waited for him to come home."

"He can't be too opposed to talking to you if you managed to bring him to the house."

"Naruto only came because I told him he should see mother before he went on his trip," Sasuke admitted. "I did hope that we might be able to talk. He shut me down."

"It's not as if you gave him a chance to respond to all of the things you said to him that day," Itachi remarked. "What you did wasn't fair. Whether you think it's right to push Naruto away, for whatever reason you've decided, it's also right that you apologize, especially when I know you still care about him. It's obvious to everyone but yourself. And, Naruto apparently."

He sneered. "It's his own fault if he's jumped to the conclusions he has about me. That's not my problem. If someone like Yagura knows me better than him, what does that say about Naruto?"

Sasuke got up and walked to his dresser, picking up a pen only to set it down again.

"What's so difficult about saying you're sorry? Don't you feel the slightest bit guilty?" Itachi asked, and Sasuke glanced at him over his shoulder.

"What does it matter? Feeling bad, or feeling guilty, those things don't change the situation."

"Who's asking you to change the situation? I just want you to do the right thing."

"The right thing according to _your_ standards," Sasuke argued. "Why are you lecturing me? Did you lecture Naruto at all while you were schmoozing with him?"

"Don't be small, Sasuke. I didn't need to lecture him because he's done nothing wrong. I didn't paint you as the villain either. I know you have your reasons for what you did, and I do believe you think pushing him away is good for Naruto, too. But, is that for you to decide?"

"Yes, it is," said Sasuke. "It _is_ for me to decide. Not you. Not even Naruto. Just because he pushed his feelings onto me means I have to accept them? I have to be with him when it would mean everything would change? Do you think father would be pleased to find out I'm gay? Do you even _remember_ what happened with Shisui?"

"How _dare_ you." Itachi's expression darkened, and Sasuke did immediately regret bringing it up. "Your situation is _nothing_ like Shisui's. I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that to me, and as for our father, you give him far less credit than he deserves."

"You should get out," Sasuke said, shaking his head. "You don't understand. You couldn't _possibly_ understand what it's like to be me, to be gay and a teenager, living in this house, to want something you know won't last, or that could drive the final nail into our father's coffin."

"You're being overdramatic," Itachi replied. "Save your hyperbole for someone who doesn't know you as well as I do. I know you better than you know yourself. I know your fears and your hopes. I know what you really want and the reasons you're afraid to go for it."

"Oh, do you?" He asked, his tone beyond sarcastic at this point.

Itachi got to his feet. "I've said my piece. I do know that if you let Naruto go now, you might never have a chance with him again. He's trying to move on, which is why he's avoiding you. Having a week to think about it away from you isn't likely to help your cause either, and when he gets back, he's going to call your friend Rin because even if Naruto is still in love with you, someone like that is smart enough to realize they shouldn't be with someone who treats them coldly. You're not cold, Sasuke. When he comes back, _talk_ to him. Apologize. Tell him the truth. He's an adult, and he's not dumb, so he can take it if you don't want to date, but don't make him feel bad for having feelings for you or for being hurt by the way you treated him."

"Whatever," said Sasuke. "Mind your own business."

"You _are_ my business," Itachi snapped, almost making him jump. "Now, if you don't mind, I have to text Naruto and let him know I got home safely."

"Fabulous. Go do that. Tell him to stop running his mouth about shit."

Itachi sighed. "I'm returning your Christmas presents for coal."

Looking disappointed, he left Sasuke alone in his room to dwell on the things he had said. Sasuke didn't know why Itachi thought ganging up on him would solve anything. After all, he'd tried that with Yahiko a month ago. Yahiko wouldn't talk to him at all anymore. Good. Good for him. Sasuke clearly had bad taste in men. Far too emotional and self-righteous. Itachi was wrong about Naruto, too. Naruto wasn't _in love_ with him anymore. It was obvious. He didn't want to talk to him, didn't want to be touched by him, share the same space as him.

Why, because Sasuke had rejected him? Because he'd said mean things again? Because he'd ignored him afterward? Because what they'd done after Naruto confessed felt fucking mind-blowing? Because he loved Naruto and had made him believe otherwise?

Tch.

Even if he _wanted_ to do something, how could he? Naruto was going to Chicago. Sasuke would be off for holiday vacation. He didn't have any plans other than to practice. There weren't any shows he was playing. If he hung out with Rin, he'd only imagine her and Naruto. Would Naruto really call her? At least Sasuke knew he hadn't called her _yet_. That was masochistic of him to give Naruto her number, but how could he not? He couldn't keep Naruto shackled to him.

Sasuke smirked. Well, he could fantasize about that… more literally than figuratively. It was getting frustrating. He hadn't done anything since Naruto was here in this bed. Had Naruto? It seemed unlikely, Naruto being the loyal idiot that he was, even when it came to sex.

He wasn't like Sasuke.

And Sasuke forgot that Naruto hated flying. He was curious about just what was going through Naruto's head to mention Yagura. Then it occurred to him Yagura's interference might be… ongoing. He should never have let him near his phone. If they ran into each other, he'd mention it, but otherwise, he'd prefer to be left alone. The thought of Naruto being with other people, out of spite or to get over him, knocked the wind out of him somewhat. If he would've said something when he'd had the chance on Sunday, could he have prevented it? Did he want to?

He could text him now. Wish him a safe flight. Tell him that he wanted to have a real talk when Naruto returned, but that would mean admitting he was wrong when he wasn't.

He could tell him to keep his dick in his pants and not fuck around while in Chicago just because Naruto was pissed at Sasuke because he'd treated him like shit. That would go over well, right?

Sasuke picked up his phone and got into bed, pulling the covers up to his chest since it was cold in his room. He turned the lamp off, double-checking the alarm on his phone. Not to be a stalker, but he scrolled through Naruto's accounts and read a thread on his Twitter feed between he and Sai. They were talking about his upcoming trip, and some of the things Sai said, which sounded like _flirting_ , made Sasuke want to punch him in the face. Judging by the time of their tweets, the blond was still up. Was Naruto thinking about him at all, wondering what he was doing, or if he was alright? Did Naruto still care about him, or was he only trying to forget about him? If he texted him right now, would Naruto respond? A part of him wanted to, but his pride wouldn't allow it. So, he set his phone on the table, rolled onto his other side, and decided to leave it up to the universe to decide.

* * *

 **TBC**

Don't forget to review! Also, Break Free is still available to buy! See profile for details.


	7. Interlude II: Main Sasuke & Dream Naruto

a/n: Thanks to diceysmiles for the sbux ecard!

* * *

 _Dedicated to netamashii_

 ** _Dream!Naruto & ISOC!Sasuke_**

* * *

After arriving at O'Hare early Wednesday evening, Naruto and his dad picked up their rental car from Alamo and drove to downtown Chicago, where they'd booked a hotel for two nights. Naruto didn't get much sleep this morning, so he declined an invitation from his dad to attend a party being thrown by former business associates. It was good to be back in Illinois - where it felt like _home_ \- and where he could be closer to his old friends.

While his dad was getting ready, Naruto crawled into his ridiculously comfortable queen-sized bed. He was exhausted from lack of sleep and the general anxiety he always felt when traveling. Naruto gathered his four pillows around him like he was building an impenetrable fort. For the next week, all he wanted to do was forget about the stress of this past month.

Right when he was about to close his eyes, his dad emerged from the bathroom, grabbed his coat, and told him goodbye. Naruto, who barely managed a wave in return, was out cold almost as soon as his head hit the pillow again.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Naruto heard the door open, and a sliver of light snuck in from the hallway. He didn't know what time it was, but he rolled over and pulled a pillow on top of his head. After a minute, he felt an unmistakable dip in the mattress and figured his dad, having been drinking all night, had crawled in with him by mistake. He whipped the pillow off and rolled over to yell at the older man for drinking so much at his age only to freak the fuck out when a strong, pale arm encircled his waist. Frozen and mildly panicking now that some pervert had broken into his room, Naruto let out an unmanly squeak as he shoved the offender away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He shouted.

"You don't have to _yell_ , Naruto," said a gruff voice. "Are my feet really that cold?"

"...What?"

The other body snuggled into him and, once again, wrapped an arm about his waist as if it were a completely normal thing to do. The _only_ reason he didn't immediately bash the asshole's skull in with the bedside lamp was because he could've sworn it sounded like...

"...Sasuke?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you _doing_ here?" Naruto asked in bewilderment.

"It's not like I was going to sleep at the office," Sasuke answered, nudging and kissing at his neck. He tugged at the collar of Naruto's shirt and started to kiss along his collarbone.

"Office?" Naruto repeated, eyes closing when the kisses turned into gentle nips. Had he gone mental, or was this one of _the_ most lucid dreams he'd ever experienced in his life?

"How was your day?" Sasuke asked, as if this were all completely normal to him.

"Uh… I didn't… sleep well yesterday, so I kinda… passed out."

The other man chuckled next to his ear, leading him to shiver. "I bet I know why you didn't sleep well."

Sasuke, raising his head off of Naruto's shoulder, looked up at him and was actually smiling. It was the first time he was able to make out _some_ of the man's features now that his eyes had adjusted to the dark. It was Sasuke, but... _not_. There was something different about him.

"I think I'm dreaming," he said quietly. "You shouldn't be here."

"Are you hinting that I should sleep on the couch?" Sasuke's hand moved to cup his cheek, which he tenderly brushed with a thumb. "Just because we were up all night having sex and, unlike me, you can't make it through the day on only a few hours of sleep?"

Naruto flushed. "Sex? We haven't - "

"Are you _feeling_ alright?" Sasuke interrupted, checking him for a temperature. "You don't have a fever." He smirked. "Should I attempt waking you up a little more then?" As Sasuke reached to untie the knot on his sweats, Naruto grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Even for a dream," he whispered. "This is…too real."

"What dream?" Sasuke placed lazy kisses along his jaw. "Do you mean fantasy?"

"Seriously, this isn't - It _can't_ be real. I mean, you're not - "

"Naruto." Sasuke let go of the strings. "You're starting to worry me. Is this a roleplay thing, or are you still half asleep? It's too late at night to be pulling pranks."

"I'm not pulling a prank," he replied, angry that Sasuke wouldn't listen to him regardless of whether he was real or not. "This is a dream. It _has_ to be."

Sasuke got onto his elbow, other arm laying across Naruto's stomach. "Did you get out of the tub, slip, and bang your head? Trip over Ollie again? This isn't funny, you know."

"I'm not tryin' to be funny, dammit. And who's Ollie? If you'd just turn on the light, you'd see." He sat up and reached for the lamp, but it wasn't there. "Huh? Wait. Where are we right now?"

"Naruto." Sasuke sat up beside him. "Seriously. What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm not _doing_ anything," he argued. "I'm tellin' you I don't know what's happening! Last I remember, I was in a hotel room in Chicago. Dad left to go to some party, and I went to bed, then you broke into the room, except... " Naruto glanced around in the dark, able to somewhat distinguish the outlines of furniture in the room. "This isn't the hotel, is it?"

"This is our apartment," Sasuke answered, a note of caution in his tone. "Why do you think you were in Chicago with your dad? Your dad's far away from here. You must've had a bad dream. Maybe lay back down, hm? I'll rub your head for you. Is your breathing okay?"

"My breathing?" He asked.

"Are you having another panic attack? You had one last week."

"I… no." Naruto placed his hand over his chest. "No, I'm not… no. What the hell's happening, though? Last I talked to you, Sasuke, we were in Seattle, at your house. We fought, and I left. Wait. Why did you say we're far away from dad? Where is he?"

"He's in Joliet as far as I know," Sasuke answered. "Is this because we're not going back for Christmas? I thought we both agreed we wanted to save money by staying here."

"Staying… where?" He asked, nervous to hear the answer.

"Berlin." Sasuke took hold of his hand and squeezed it. "We've been here for over two months, Naruto. I'm working with Shikamaru to start the agency's second European branch, and you're in the MBA program at a business school. Do I need to take you to the hospital?"

"We're in Berlin," Naruto repeated in wonderment. "Wow."

None of what Sasuke said made sense to him. Not the name Shikamaru, nor what he meant about a "branch", why they were living in Europe, or how he could be in graduate school when he hadn't graduated from high school yet. If this were truly a dream, why was he so conscious of everything around him? It's not like he took any drugs before passing out at the hotel. Hell, he didn't even take a Tylenol PM. It wouldn't be the _first_ dream he'd ever had about Sasuke, and certainly there had been some relatively explicit ones to speak of, but what _was_ this?

"Can I run a hypothetical by you?" He asked, trying not to freak out.

"If it explains why you sound like you've suddenly gone crazy. Yes, please."

"I'm not crazy," he mumbled. "I'm… Can we at least turn on the light first?"

"Okay."

Sasuke slid off the bed, and when the light turned on, he was standing by a door, and Naruto was in a room he had absolutely no memory of, but more importantly…

"Holy shit, Sasuke!"

Sasuke looked down at himself like there was something wrong. He had on navy sweatpants and no shirt. That in itself wasn't strange. What was strange was that… he was _older_. Like, older than Itachi. His chest was broad and muscled, his stomach as flat as a professional athlete's, and his hair was longer in parts, and his face so mature… and… he was _really_ good looking. The Sasuke he knew was also attractive, but _this_ older Sasuke -

"Are you a model now?" Naruto asked. "What happened to music?"

Then, wondering if his appearance was also different, Naruto gave himself a once over only to notice that he, too, was older. He lifted his shirt and ran his fingers over his toned abs. Okay, he was fit, but he didn't have abs like this, and - he glanced at his feet - they were…

"Did we go to a carnival recently?" He asked, meaning it to be a joke, but his voice was lacking any trace of humor. "Like in _Big_ , you know when Tom Hanks makes a wish and the next day, he's an adult and has to get a job and… because I think that happened."

"So, what are you suggesting?" Sasuke crossed his arms, looking amused, which irritated Naruto, who might end up having that panic attack, after all. "You're not Naruto?"

"I'm certainly not the Naruto _you_ know." He kept staring at the back of his large man hands. "It's only a dream for me. What it is for you, I have no idea, because you're dream!Sasuke."

"I assure you I am very real," Sasuke replied. "I am not a dream."

Naruto looked to him for answers because he sure as hell didn't know what was happening. "This stuff happens on that one old show all the time, what is it, uh, _Twilight Zone_!"

"I'm still of the notion you're confusing today's date with April Fool's. That, or you actually are pissed at me for making you come three times before I let you go to bed this morning."

"What?! You can't just say stuff like that!" Naruto's cheeks grew extremely hot as those mental images started rapidly forming in his brain. "We've never had sex! Also, you rejected me for a second time the other day, you bastard!"

"I rejected you?" Sasuke scoffed. "That's hilarious. That's how I _know_ you're crazy."

"How old are you?" Naruto glanced at himself again and added, "We? How old are we?"

Sasuke approached the bed. "Did you drink earlier?"

"No."

"Did you smoke some weed?"

"No, how would I get that on the plane? I'd end up getting tasered," he said.

"Hash?"

"What? No. Are we drug dealers in this universe?" Naruto asked. "If you ask me about cocaine next, I'm gonna seriously be worried about you. Er. Us? I don't know right now!"

"This universe?" Sasuke repeated. "What _universe_ do you think you're supposed to be in, Naruto? I'll write it down and tell the doctors all about it when we go to the emergency room."

"You and I are 17," he explained, knowing what it sounded like, but his life was the real one, not this Sasuke's. "We met 10 months ago after I transferred from Joliet. We both go to the same private school in Seattle. You have an older brother, Itachi, who goes to Stanford. I went on a date with him last night. He likes almonds. Um, you're a musician! You play in a couple bands. You played with one on Saturday night called #Feminist. Uh. You sang? For the first time?"

Sasuke grew more pale (even for him). "I really don't know what you're saying."

"I'm _saying_ I have no idea why I'm here, or why I look like this, or why you do, or why you recall stuff that I don't, but yeah, I see I'm here in a place I don't know when I was somewhere else, like, not that long ago. There's movies about this all the time. Oh, shit, did something happen? Was I Donnie Darko'd while I was asleep in the hotel, and now I'm in a coma, and this is what my life could've been like if you weren't such a stubborn asshole?"

"Or, this is actually your," Sasuke gave a mock gasp of surprise as he crawled onto the bed, "Future. Did you read some Charles Dickens tonight? Am I the Ghost of Christmas Future?"

"This isn't funny. You're the smart one. _You_ figure it out."

"Very well. I'll humor you. In the hope that roleplaying like this is going to lead to some mind-blowing sex in about 20 minutes. Hopefully less."

"At least _that_ hasn't changed about you," he muttered. "You only ever have sex on the brain."

"Fine." Sasuke sighed and scrubbed his hands through his hair. "Let's say you're from a parallel universe. But, any of that stuff you just described, you'd know after two years of us dating."

"All of it?" Naruto asked. " _Seriously_?"

"That band name… does sound familiar," Sasuke conceded. "Maybe Itachi told you about it. Also, what did you mean you went out with Itachi on a _date_?"

"Let's do it this way," he suggested. "I'll answer your questions if you answer mine. Uh, you've been a dick for the past month, Itachi came home and took me out to dinner and dessert. You, well _my_ you, or whatever..." Naruto frowned. "Picked him up at the airport Monday. Next day, your brother came to get me at my apartment. That part isn't even all that important!"

"I think it's reasonable your boyfriend asks why a recent fantasy scenario of yours involved going on a date with my brother."

"Boyfriend?" Naruto stared at him, dumbstruck.

"Partner?" Sasuke looked at him questioningly. "Or, are we not doing labels?"

"No, I mean… wait. You said we've been together how long?"

"Two years, just about," Sasuke answered, his eyebrows raised high - something his Sasuke did all the damn time.

"We're… how old… in this… universe?" Naruto, self-consciously, rubbed at his elbow.

"We're 25. You turned 25 in October."

"Yes, I know when my birthday is," Naruto grumbled. "So… if this was our future… you and I get together six years from now?"

"I… don't know what to say to that," Sasuke answered. "Because you and I didn't meet in high school. We met two years ago in Joliet."

"We've been dating for almost as long as we've known each other?" Naruto asked in disbelief and then laughed almost hysterically. "Yeah, right! I've known you for 10 months, and it took that long to tell you how I felt, and then you rejected me because your dad - "

"My dad?" Sasuke's expression turned frosty. "This isn't funny anymore."

"It wasn't _meant_ to be funny," he said. "Your mom, Yahiko, and Itachi took him to the hospital that morning, and it turned out to be an ulcer. You freaked out and told me to fuck off. Basically."

Sasuke glanced away, and Naruto couldn't figure out what part of that had upset him.

"I never told you anything about that," Sasuke said. "Did Itachi tell you?"

"Huh? No. I was there. We were in bed. I got up to go to the bathroom, you were still sleepin'. I heard your mom and Itachi in the kitchen. They didn't want me to wake you, but, stupidly, I did anyway, and you drove off to the hospital after throwing a hissy fit. When you came back, you were a complete asshole to me, I left, and we didn't talk to each other for a few weeks."

"That's… for me… that happened in my past, but no one woke me up. I didn't know what was going on until Itachi came home from the hospital. I remember being pissed as hell at him and Yahiko for not telling me. I kept thinking…" Sasuke, when he looked back, his eyes were wet.

Naruto, on reflex, reached over to wipe them away. "Why are you so sad?"

"I don't… know why you're doing this, but let me just ask… wherever you're from… how are my parents?"

He was confused by the question at first, and then felt anxious as to why he would ask it at all. "They're fine. I mean, your dad still works too much, but when I talked to him on Sunday, he was crackin' jokes and lecturin' me about taking school more seriously. Your mom, she was in the kitchen makin' soup, ah, no, it was cream stew with chicken. We joked, and we ragged on you. She was really good." Naruto grinned at the memory. "Always really nice and funny, and pretty hot for bein' your mom. She's great!" He paused, scratching the back of his head. "The other day, she said she'd be fine if I married you or Itachi, so long as I married into the family."

"She wouldn't say anything like that," Sasuke murmured. "You're crazy."

"She did, though. She loves me." He beamed. "She's like a second mom to me. I think, I'm not sure, but maybe you brought me to see her because, y'know. I was goin' to Chicago, and dad and I were gonna visit my mom's grave and stuff. They're good, Sasuke. Why do you ask?"

Sasuke shook his head. "No reason."

"I… the Naruto you know. My mom. Is she…?"

"She passed away when you were 12."

"Huh. There's a difference, too, I guess. I was barely 16 when she died. It was two months after my birthday, so last week would've been the anniversary."

"I know," Sasuke said. "You were… sad."

"Is that why I had a panic attack?"

"It wasn't a good night for you, no." Sasuke rubbed at his left eye. "You met Yahiko then? You've met Yahiko in this… well, you've met Yahiko here, too."

"I have?" His eyes went wide, and he wondered how similar the circumstances would've been. "I met him for the first time a month ago. I assume in your world, you - ?"

"Yes. You know that."

"Well, I don't know what's all the same here!" Naruto yelled. "I mean, I'm only 17, cut me some damn slack, would ya? This is some crazy shit that's happening 'cause I have no idea why I wouldn't have woken up by now. Dreams aren't supposed to be this coherent, right? I'm still on that coma theory."

"You said I rejected you." Sasuke placed a hand on his knee. "Why would I do that?"

Naruto glanced at it, distracted. "Who knows? According to you, if you had to choose between me and your family, you'd pick your family."

"Why would I say something as harsh as that?" Sasuke's confusion, in a way, made him feel hopeful for some reason.

"It was the morning after I confessed, and that's when your dad went to the emergency room. You were having some sort of early quarter-life crisis and decided that your dad would stroke out if you told him you were gay and wanted to date me." Naruto gave him a poke. "To be fair, it's what you wanted, so it's not like I was gonna fight you on it. You didn't even tell me how you felt that night. You seemed more interested in fuckin' around."

Sasuke stared down at the hand he'd set on Naruto's knee and started pulling at the fabric of his pants.

"Sasuke?" Naruto called to him when he wouldn't say anything or look him in the eye.

"This is strange for me to say since I don't know if I believe any of this, but I can see my younger self saying something like that." He raised his eyes. "Unfortunately."

"Why does that not make me feel any better?" Naruto huffed, and when he turned his head the other way, Sasuke grabbed his chin and forced him to look back again.

"Are you really not my Naruto?" Sasuke scrutinized him closely, face so near, Naruto could count his eyelashes while comparing this Sasuke's features to his Sasuke's.

"It's…" Naruto wanted to say 'complicated'. "I dunno what to say."

When Sasuke leaned in even more, Naruto's hands formed fists in anticipation. But, Sasuke stopped right before their lips could touch, eyeing him again with a perception that was familiar, but _not_. There was something softer about this Sasuke. Naruto felt relaxed around him. It was like he knew him, because he was Sasuke, but obviously there were differences. Not all of them subtle either. Sasuke's general… er… what should he say… aura? He was so _calm_. Whereas, the Sasuke he knew always felt as though he could be quick to put up a wall.

"You're different," Naruto said. "You talk different. The way you look at me is different."

"How do I normally talk to you?" Sasuke, taking a piece of his hair, tucked it behind his ear and gazed at him with such tenderness. "How do I look at you? Naruto?"

As Sasuke tilted his head invitingly, Naruto had a strong desire to kiss him. "You're… so mature. Not just the way you look, but… you and I, how we are now, we're… I don't know."

"At least I know you're _some_ kind of Naruto." Sasuke offered an amazing smile. "Since Naruto also fumbles with his words. Although, occasionally the things you say can be very… _inspiring_."

Naruto chuckled. Sasuke joking around in a situation like this made it easier to relax.

"Like I said. You Sasukes always have sex on the brain."

"Naruto does, too," Sasuke responded, sounding a little defensive. "Maybe more than me."

"Hmm." This information had him especially curious. "If Sasuke was a bit more like you and hadn't broken my heart, I could be moved to think about it pretty damn often."

Sasuke smirked. "Could you? Have you two done _anything_?"

Naruto, trying to shift away from his heavy stare, let out an embarrassed cough.

"I'll take that as a yes." Sasuke's laughter was a soft, seductive rumble in his ear. "But, you two haven't had sex apparently. As in intercourse."

"Sasuke," he whined, coming into direct eye contact with him again, which was always dangerous. Naruto's whole body flushed under that lecherous gaze.

"You've done other things with me?" Sasuke questioned.

"When you say it like that, it's… he's him and you're… you."

Sasuke tugged at his shirt. "It sounds like we're both him to me."

"But, I'm not _your_ Naruto," he countered, vaguely aware that another, older him may exist and was living a life worth envying. After all, this Naruto and Sasuke were together and happy.

When he stuck out his bottom lip to pout, Sasuke pressed his thumb to it, gently tracing it back and forth across the line of Naruto's mouth. "Even if it's another universe, you're still you and I'm me. I can't _cheat_ on my Naruto with another Naruto. That doesn't make sense. To me, you _look_ like him. You sound like him, but I can tell there's something slightly different about you. If what you've told me is true, you'd be him, but younger and living a different life. One in which we've met once again. I don't know what all you've been through, but you're _still_ Naruto to me." Sasuke continued to gaze at him with affection while stroking his cheek.

"How can you _know_ for sure?" There was this deep yearning building inside of him, and he also found he wanted to be comforted by this Sasuke. "The Sasuke I know wouldn't believe this. He'd be suspicious. He wouldn't trust that - "

"I _know,_ Naruto _._ I know because I feel drawn to you, just like I always have. I trust you. I'm attracted to you. I want to kiss you and do all the usual things I do to you, to your body..."

Naruto let out an unsteady breath. "We were having a serious conversation, and now you're trying to seduce me? That is so you."

"Yes," Sasuke drawled. "Very serious." He leaned in again, making their lips brush, and allowing the briefest of contact between them. "It's not that I'm seducing you. It's that, with you, I can't help myself. You have all the power in this situation, Naruto. Over me. You always have."

"I do?" He asked disbelievingly, eyelids fluttering closed when Sasuke brushed their lips together a second time. "I wouldn't even know what that feels like."

The kisses were light and affectionate as Sasuke placed them to his jaw, traveled to his neck, and stopped to breathe hotly on a sensitive spot under his ear. That instant when he felt Sasuke's tongue touch and lips suck his skin, Naruto knew what he wanted. If this was really a dream, it didn't matter what went on, right? He couldn't control what he dreamed about. Lately, he'd been fighting these feelings he had for Sasuke because, what else was he supposed to do? Sasuke didn't want them. Naruto couldn't be around him and not feel this way. Those feelings didn't disappear at the moment of rejection. This wasn't a crush, it was his best friend, and he'd wanted them to be _together_. He wanted to kiss and hold hands, go on dates, and eventually have sex. Being around Sasuke only reminded him of that. Luckily, though, his Sasuke deciding to be a major asshole about everything had made it easier to stay away. What would be so wrong in indulging himself this one time with a Sasuke who didn't hold back and clearly had feelings for his Naruto? It wasn't that he was taking the other Naruto's place. These feelings he was having toward the Sasuke in front of him felt real, too. Because it _was_ Sasuke.

"What are you thinking?" Sasuke asked while sneaking a hand under his shirt.

"Honestly?" Biting his lip, Naruto forced himself to try and let go of that fear and indecision. "Is it wrong for me to want this when my Sasuke doesn't?"

"What makes you think he doesn't?" Sasuke asked, using his free hand to cover Naruto's. "I guarantee a part of him wants what you do, but he's afraid. Trust me. He _wants_ you."

"How, though?" He asked. "How do you know for certain?"

Sasuke slid his hand out from under Naruto's shirt and set it on his thigh. "Because _I_ want you. If I'd known you in high school, I would've wanted you then, too. What he says he can't give you is a relationship. When I met Naruto, I'd never had a real relationship in my life."

"You?" Naruto balked. "Never had a relationship by the time you were 23? What happened?"

"Think about it. As you know me now, do I seem like the dating type?"

"No." He frowned. "The first week we knew each other, you told me you didn't believe in that kind of thing. At school, there are girls who wanna date you. There are definitely guys when you play at the clubs who… " Naruto scowled, thinking of Yagura. "Flirt with you. No one at school knows you're gay except me. Not even Sai knows, but he does like to joke about there bein' something goin' on between us."

"Sai?" The hand on his knee tightened its grip. "What's your relationship to Sai exactly?"

Naruto's eyebrows went up in amusement. "He's my best friend. Why do you wanna know?"

"Simple curiosity," Sasuke answered, but his gaze narrowed.

It was the same look his Sasuke gave if Naruto talked too much about Sai. Was he jealous? Naruto, smiling widely, let out a long, hard laugh. He had to stop, though, when Sasuke took hold of his chin. Those beautiful dark eyes stared back at him, serious and focused. Damn sexy bastard! This older version of him was, like, alpha male sexy. It was so strange to him, too. In bed, his Sasuke had _skills_ , even threw him around on occasion, but this Sasuke was… he couldn't put his finger on it.

Oh. It reminded him of Yahiko. It was a confidence born of experience. And lots of it. Naruto started to feel a little jealous himself.

"I suppose that since you'd never had a relationship before dating me," Naruto attempted to keep his voice as neutral and non-judgmental as possible, "It's unlikely all your _experience_ is the product of the past two years you and I have been together?"

Sasuke smirked. "Are you going to get jealous about my past sexual experiences, too?"

He scowled since that also answered his question in a way he didn't like. "What do you mean?"

Sasuke played with their clasped fingers. "The first night you stayed at my apartment - . Ah, I should preface this by saying this was the first night we met, and you came home with me - "

"I did?" Naruto asked, genuinely surprised with himself. Er. This other him.

"Do you want to hear the whole story?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I really do. I'm super curious."

Sasuke glanced at their joined hands and started to smile. As if this simple memory made him so incredibly happy to talk about. Naruto's heart skipped about a million beats watching him.

"Well," he said. "It had been storming that day. I was at the apartment, doing some work, when the power in my apartment went out. It wasn't the breaker, so I called the landlord who said he'd come and fix it. While he did that, I decided to go to Starbuck's with my laptop. However, when I got there, the place was packed, and there was nowhere to sit. I was going to leave and try somewhere else when you, dressed in your hoodie and jeans that made your ass look great, offered to let me share your table. You looked young. I would've thought you in high school. I'd apparently interrupted a productive day of you watching stupid videos on YouTube."

"You love those stupid videos, too," he replied, able to picture this encounter very easily. "You always watch them over my shoulder."

"Maybe the stupid cat ones." Sasuke cleared his throat, but was still smiling at him in this way that made Naruto want to grab him and push him down on the bed.

"Sorry to interrupt you." Naruto's voice turned gruff, and the both of them noticed a _shift_. He was starting to feel the typical spark that always came from being alone with Sasuke, touching him, and talking about things that mattered to them. "You were saying?"

"I took you up on your offer." Sasuke's hand moved up his thigh, and he pulled playfully at the hem of Naruto's shirt. "I was intending to ignore you, but you persisted in trying to start a conversation. You did snap at me when I kept shutting you down. It was surprising to me, and… kind of cute. I felt guilty for giving you a hard time, and I did want to thank you for your kindness, so I offered to buy you another coffee. I'm sure you know this, but my parents did raise me to have manners. I wanted to show my appreciation."

"Oh? Such a nice guy, Sasuke," Naruto teased him. "Your mom would be proud."

There was a strange flash in Sasuke's eyes before he ended up bowing his head. "You were so surprised I offered you anything. It was obvious you'd been kind to me without expecting anything in return. You were a blond idiot, but you were a good person."

Naruto was able to nudge Sasuke's knee with his foot. "Then what?"

"We talked. About stupid, meaningless crap. Bantering." Sasuke ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I thought you were amusing. I was… a _little_ attracted to you."

Naruto smirked. "Yeah, you were. Couldn't resist me in _my_ universe either."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "You'll have to tell me about this because I can't, for the life of me, imagine having the courage to go after another boy while in high school."

"I guess I'm that special exception, huh?" He asked, a bit sadly.

"You would definitely be the exception, Naruto."

"Is that it, or is there more?" Naruto leaned back on his arms, stretching out his long legs. "How did I end up at your place? Did you roofie my Starbuck's?"

Sasuke chuckled, and, as if it were a habit, started gliding his fingers over his stomach. "I hardly needed to. Also, at this point you didn't know I was gay, if that wasn't obvious."

He almost couldn't sit still with Sasuke doing that. "Oh, true. How exactly did it come up?"

"Being a desperate, friendless kind of guy, you asked if I wanted to hang out sometime. I hadn't been living there that long, and I… wasn't sure it would be a good idea, but I gave you my number, and, afterward, you asked if I wanted to leave and go to dinner. I felt like I should be honest with you from the beginning. Normally, I wouldn't have bothered because I wouldn't have expected us to ever talk again. But, I made the choice to tell you I was gay."

"That sounds about right," Naruto said. "You didn't wait very long to tell me either."

Sasuke's eyebrow lifted. "Seriously? I feel like you must've drugged younger me."

"Hardly! I'm not Yagura, I wouldn't do that!"

"Yagura?" Sasuke asked. "Jesus, you even know about him?"

"Of course I do," he said. "But he's the last guy I wanna talk about right now. So, you didn't try to kiss me like my Sasuke did in the locker room after gym class?"

"Dear God," Sasuke groaned. "What the hell is going on with 17-year-old me?"

"Technically, we were 16," Naruto pointed out. "We were havin' a fight. It was the day after we met, and you suddenly went all frigid." He cackled, thinking about what his Sasuke had explained to him later on about it. "Turns out you were actin' that way 'cause you had a sex dream about me."

Sasuke, who was smirking, pressed a palm to his forehead. "Stay on track, Naruto."

"Oh, right." He grinned, having forgotten he was telling a story. "It was fifth period. I'd taken a shower and was on my way to get my clothes out of my locker. You came walking out of an aisle and nearly ran smack into me. Then you started yellin' at me about weird shit, so I yelled back. I walked away from you when you said somethin' that made me wanna punch you. I was at my locker when, out of nowhere, you suddenly came up behind me, flipped me around, shoved me into my own damn locker, yelled some more, and then… you kissed me."

"I… there's no way," Sasuke said. "Impossible. _Kiss_ you? At school?"

"Yeah, dude. You kissed me. Sorry to say, I didn't know what the fuck was goin' on, so I just stood there stunned and pushed you off. Not hard or anything. I thought it was a prank, you know, to get me to shut up. So, whenever there was a time after that you wanted me to shut up, you'd threaten to kiss me." Naruto grinned at what a jerk his Sasuke could be. "You were such a dick in the beginning. But, I really liked you, and as the week progressed… I… it got confusing."

Sasuke removed his hand from Naruto's thigh, but, missing the contact, Naruto crossed his legs and set his right hand on Sasuke's left knee, their gazes meeting at the same time.

"You and I," said Sasuke, his voice an octave lower than before. "When you didn't seem to care that I was gay, went to dinner right after we left Starbuck's. We drank a lot of wine. We talked a lot. You were funny and charming. Not bad to look at."

"You got me drunk and brought me back to your place, I see," he joked, rubbing his finger over Sasuke's knee and tugging at the soft cotton fabric of his sweats.

Sasuke glanced at Naruto's hand, then raised his eyes again. "Something like that. You did come to my place. I introduced you to Ollie."

"Ollie?" Naruto remembered that name from earlier in their conversation.

"My cat. _Our_ cat," Sasuke corrected. "It was mother's cat."

"Was? Why do you make me feel like somethin' bad happened?"

"There's no guarantee the things that've happened to me or Naruto in this life will happen to you or your Sasuke." He set his hand on top of Naruto's and laced their fingers together.

"You're not gonna tell me, are you?"

"No. I don't think I will."

He gave Naruto's hand a squeeze, and Naruto, used to trusting Sasuke's judgment, accepted his decision for the moment.

"So. You came to my house, met my cat, which you took it upon yourself to name 'Ollie' because I'd stopped calling him what mother named him years ago. We played some video games, I gave you a tour, you showered and - stupidly, like in _your_ version of events - came out in only a towel. You stood right in front of me, dripping wet and… naked. It was annoying."

"Did I do it on purpose?" He asked. "That would be hilarious!"

Sasuke shook his head. "I don't think so. Maybe, but I doubt it. You were oblivious. I took a shower, had to do some work. You read a book. I came to find you. You looked so engrossed in it. You didn't even notice me walking up to you, and I felt... not quite jealous, but I snatched the book away. You followed me into the bedroom like the good little straight boy you were."

"Sasuke, Sasuke," Naruto said. "I've always told you you've got game."

The dark-haired man smirked. "I did some more work on my laptop, you got on my bed and kept reading. When I finished, I got on the bed with you. We talked. You decided you wanted to sleep in my bed and not the couch or guest bed. It was the first time I really thought you might… that I could possibly convince you to become interested in me, _that_ way. Even though I knew you were straight, I was attracted to you, but in a weird twist of events, I felt like I liked you, so I was afraid of scaring you away. I waited for you to cross those boundaries, and Naruto," Sasuke smiled as smugly as if he'd won an argument, "It didn't take you long."

"I suppose I get handsy after I've been drinking," Naruto replied, trying to excuse this me's behavior, not that he'd waited all that long either in his universe.

"You could say that again." Sasuke bounced their hands on his knee. "Long story short, you agreed to a date, we went on one, and from then on, we've been together. You moved in with me, we went through various things couples do, then you decided to move with me here."

"We sound like we're pretty serious." Naruto couldn't even imagine what that was like. "It's surreal. I know I like you. A lot, but it's weird to think about the possibility of you and me together in the future. There's definitely a part of me that thinks just 'cause it happened for the two of you doesn't mean it'd happen for us. Look where we are now. I don't see Sasuke changing his mind, and I…" Naruto sighed, feeling resigned and melancholic. "What can I do but move on?"

"If there's anything I know about you, it's that you always do the right thing, so even if he's me - and _I_ love you - if _he's_ treating you in a way that makes you unhappy," Sasuke got onto his knees and gingerly cupped one of Naruto's cheeks . "Do what you have to do."

"Even if that means dating someone else?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke frowned. "As long as it's not Sai."

Naruto ended up laughing. "You're such an ass. No, it's not Sai. What is your deal with him? Sasuke has a thing with him, too. Sai's a best friend. That's all."

Sasuke looked offended. "I'm not your best friend?"

Oh, even when pouting, he was still so damn sexy.

"You are. Or, _were_. But I've never sucked Sai's dick if that's what you're asking." He didn't think he needed to mention Sai's confession from last summer.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "I know he's gay, and you're telling me he's never hit on you?"

"Oh my God, Sasuke. Get over yourself." Naruto pushed him away, making him wobble enough that the dark-haired man fell back on his hands.

"So, who is she then?" Sasuke pressed.

"It's nothing serious. We met the other night. She sang in the band you performed with. Rin is her name. I guess she's a lot like you, but with brown hair and...boobs."

"Rin… Nohara?" Sasuke asked. "That's a name I haven't heard in a long time."

"You gave me her number, so I guess that means you don't mind if I - "

"What is _wrong_ with this Sasuke?" Sasuke slapped his forehead. "I don't even know what to say about him anymore, but he sounds like a bigger idiot than you."

Naruto watched him as, rather dramatically, the older man fell onto the pillows and covered his eyes with an arm.

"I feel like I should scold you for callin' my Sasuke an idiot," he said, one corner of his mouth turning downward. "But seein' the difference between the two of you, it makes me anxious."

"Anxious?" Sasuke asked, still hiding under his arm. "What about?"

Naruto crawled closer, sitting beside him with his legs crossed. "About what happens to you between where he and I are now…. and where you are now. I know somethin' bad happened. You won't tell me, but what if… if you told me, maybe it doesn't have to happen in our universe?" Naruto tried to grab for his arm, but Sasuke resisted. "Why won't you - "

Glaring, Sasuke pushed him off. "You can't fix _everything_ , Naruto. This isn't something you could possibly have control over. If I tell you, it'll make things worse. I promise."

"But if it's about your family - "

"What if knowing altered what was supposed to happen in your life?" Sasuke asked. "Nothing may happen at all. Who knows? Maybe you meeting me in high school made some difference, or maybe it won't. What I do know is that in this life I have with Naruto... if anything changed, he and I never would've met. What happened in my past, it did change my life. It's also why it is so indescribably _painful_ to hear Sasuke told you no because he'd choose family over you. Naruto, you _are_ my family. If I was told to choose between you and changing that moment - "

"Sasuke," Naruto said when he saw the other man was getting upset. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you angry, but you have to understand I'd do anything for him. I love your family. Your mom's like a second mom to me. If anything happened to them - "

Sasuke grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down before he could finish. Naruto was barely able to catch himself as he ended up on top of him, lips pressed to Sasuke's lips. The older man placed a hand at the back of his head, a thumb brushing the ticklish skin below Naruto's hairline. Sasuke drew him in closer and settled his other hand at the usual spot on the small of his back. It all felt so familiar, and Naruto very much welcomed the heat of Sasuke's body, his touches, his affection and love, even if it didn't entirely belong to him.

Without hesitation, Naruto returned the kiss, opening his mouth to this Sasuke, and allowing for that first teasing touch of their tongues. Far more than attraction, it was all these feelings he had for this man. Those feelings he'd been forced to bottle up recently, but now there was this chance for all of it to come out without a fear of rejection. This Sasuke loved him. Or, loved his Naruto enough that he didn't discriminate apparently. The thought of this Sasuke being what his Sasuke might become, it was… exhilarating. Excited, Naruto slid on top of him, working a leg between his, enough to lightly rub against his crotch. While they kissed, he found Sasuke's wrists and pinned them to the bed, moaning around the other man's kisses and clever tongue. He could've kept kissing him forever, but when Sasuke let out a low, guttural groan, Naruto pulled away just enough to be able to look at him.

"This is really okay?" He asked, already breathing heavy.

Sasuke wiggled his wrists, indicating he should let go. The instant he did, Sasuke's hands were on his ass.

"This is very okay," Sasuke replied, pushing him down hard and latching his mouth to the side of Naruto's neck. He sucked so ferociously, Naruto let out a gasp from the pain.

"Fuck, _Sa_ suke."

Roughly taking hold of his hips, Sasuke forced him to move and grind against his body. It was strange to _feel_ the amount of experience he must have at this age. Never before had Naruto considered himself inexperienced with Sasuke, but holy _shit…_ it was hard to keep up. Not to mention this new body wasn't what he was accustomed to working with during these times.

"I'm, ah - " He threw his arms around Sasuke's neck when he was forced onto his back. "Not used to you taking control so quickly."

"There's a lot of experience to be gained between 17 and 25. Should I slow down?" Sasuke's question was a whisper in his ear, but it had a _big_ impact on certain parts of his lower anatomy.

"No, it's not that - "

He cried out when Sasuke yanked at his shirt, revealing part of his shoulder, and bit him.

"Oh, shit," Naruto moaned. "What are you, like a sex God or something?"

Sasuke snickered between the kisses and licks he placed to the abused skin. "I'm only imagining what I would've liked to have done had I known you growing up."

"Imagine?" He asked breathlessly. "I can tell you all about the things you've done to me."

"You do have a penchant for dirty talk," Sasuke said. "This is in the way, Naruto. Let's take it off."

Before he could reply, Sasuke sat up - straddling his waist - and hurriedly stripped the shirt over his head. Naruto took advantage of their new positions. He placed his hands on top of Sasuke's thighs, feeling the hard muscles through his sweatpants. From the looks of it, he'd guess Sasuke wasn't wearing any underwear, which… thrilled him. He slid his right hand further up the man's firm thigh muscles, edging closer to the bulge forming in his pants.

Sasuke, though, was faster. He snatched Naruto's wrist and then the other, pinning them to the bed like he'd done to him earlier. It was as if they were competing for dominance. Honestly, it was kind of turning him on. He even liked Sasuke being rougher with him than usual.

Naruto gazed up at him and smiled.

"What are you grinning about?" Sasuke asked, his dark hair swaying in front of his eyes. He was already looking pretty smug.

"You," he answered. "You're fuckin' sexy as hell, you bastard. It's annoying."

"Annoying? How can me being sexy annoy you? I'm all yours."

Naruto sobered at those words. "...Mine?"

"I wouldn't deny you anything." He let one of Naruto's wrists go and, taking a piece of blond hair between his fingers, tucked it behind an ear. "Let go of whatever's holding you back, Naruto."

Sasuke settled himself on top of him, and, with their gazes locked, Naruto wrapped both legs around him, watching for any change in the way he looked at him. It was hard to imagine a Sasuke devoted solely to him, that said things like this Sasuke did. Naruto was a decent judge of character, and there was nothing indicating he was lying. In fact, his sincerity and affection were so obvious, it made Naruto's chest feel like it would burst. But, he was still afraid.

Noticing his hesitation maybe, Sasuke searched his face. He looked concerned, but then he leaned down… and kissed him.

This was a Sasuke who knew when he needed to be calmed and reassured _and_ acted on it. Feeling Sasuke's weight on top of him, the man's fingers winding through his hair and lips on his - Naruto let go of all his hang-ups because he _did_ want this. There was such a large part of him that wanted Sasuke _so_ badly it hurt, wanted this man for himself, wanted to laugh with him and love him and, even if it were possible only in this dream, to _make_ love to him.

While they kissed, there were glimpses in his mind of the last time he and Sasuke were together. It had felt so different than any of the other times because he'd thought they both had mutual feelings for one another. The lower half of Sasuke's body pressed against his, grinding into him while Naruto cradled the back of his head, kissing him with everything he had. A hand lightly traced down his chest, passing over a nipple and caressing his stomach. It strayed to his hip, staying long enough to allow the kiss they were sharing to plunge. He couldn't get enough of this, the aggressive, almost possessive way Sasuke kissed him. When they eventually had to part for air, Sasuke's forehead was pressed to his, and the older man's fingertips had slipped beneath the waistband of his sweatpants, gliding over his skin tauntingly.

"What do you say?" Sasuke asked. "This would be your first time all over again."

Naruto kissed him once more. "Talk to me first. Tell me more about you and him."

"More?" Sasuke let out a heavy sigh as he buried his face in Naruto's neck. "What more would you like to know, Naruto?"

"Do you always say my name like that?" He closed his eyes, body hot all over and thrumming with pleasure.

It would be embarrassing to come in his pants simply from kissing, so he needed a chance to calm down.

Sasuke kissed his neck. "Like what?"

"I don't know. I just love the way you say it. You said you were opening a branch for some agency," Naruto began playing with the man's hair. "What do you do? Marketing? What happened to music? I always thought you'd do something with that despite what your dad wants from you and Itachi. Did you end up going to University of Washington like you wanted?"

The kissing at his neck ceased, and he only felt Sasuke's hot breath on his skin.

"Sasuke?" He called gently when Sasuke didn't answer.

"Sorry. It's strange for me to hear you talk about my father so easily. Or mother." He nudged Naruto with his nose, kissing at his neck again.

Because he felt like it, Naruto wrapped a protective arm around his slim waist, wanting to hold him close for a while.

"It's a music talent agency," Sasuke continued. "I've been doing it for nearly six years, longer if you count what I did in high school."

"You mean like booking the bands, doing the social media, and generally babysitting your fellow musicians?" Smiling, he kissed the top of Sasuke's head. "I'm happy to hear you did something with that. You have no idea." He laughed even though he felt tears of pride welling up.

Sasuke lifted his head, looking at him. Those keen, dark eyes searched him again. Naruto poked between his brows, the pale skin there too furrowed for his liking.

"What about performing and stuff?" Naruto asked, still attempting to smooth out the pesky wrinkles. "I love watchin' you on stage, Sasuke. You always look so happy up there."

"I don't perform anymore," Sasuke replied. "Not like that. I haven't for a long time."

He decided not to ask why, only because he knew he wouldn't get an answer. "So, where did I go to college?"

"When's it my turn to ask a question?" Sasuke held onto his hand, nipping at one of his fingers.

"You can ask anything you want," Naruto replied, voice going gruff again while he watched Sasuke suck on his fingertip.

"What's it like with us? On a regular day, what are we like with each other? Are we close?"

Naruto hummed in thought before answering. "Now it's not so good between us, but before all the drama, I'd say you and I hung out all the time. Pretty much every weekend I'd be at your house in the burbs, or my apartment downtown. Dad's usually gone on business trips during the weekend, so you and I have a lot of time together to, ahem. Be alone."

"Our relationship," said Sasuke, "Is fairly physical then?"

"Yes, pervert. It's - Well, it _was_ fairly physical. Except when I dated over the summer."

"What made you decide to date? Whom did you date… Naruto?"

"Now you're doin' it on purpose." He grinned and moved Sasuke's bangs out of his eyes, able to tuck them behind an ear. "Girls in our class, that's who. _Why_ did I date them? I guess I'd say it felt like if we kept goin' the way we were, that neither of us would have any other experiences during high school. You made it clear you didn't want to come out or date, and I didn't know what my feelings for you were until a month ago. I didn't think it would turn serious, so I guess I thought it would be good for you, too. During that time, when I was dating a really nice girl, I did realize I wanted a relationship. I dunno if it was 'cause I couldn't have one with you, but I wanted what everyone else had. I wanted to have fun and go on dates, hold hands, and hang out with other friends without PDA bein' a big deal. I wanted to be affectionate with someone who didn't worry about whether the door was locked in case someone barged in, and I wanted affection from someone not afraid to show it. I don't know whether that's selfish or not, but what I ended up wanting was something Sasuke didn't want either with me, or at all."

"I understand," Sasuke said softly, planting a kiss to his lips. "A year ago, there was something that happened between us that made me think I wasn't good enough for you. I remember how I felt at that age, too. Afraid of my parents finding out, afraid of them being disappointed in me." He started to look sad again, so Naruto tipped his chin up and traced his bottom lip.

"Dating them was good, I think," he said. "When I first met you, I told Sasuke I didn't believe in high school romances, but after that summer, I knew I at least liked the idea of relationships. I learned something from them. I'm still good friends with Kayla - "

"Kayla?"

"Yeah. Red hair, on the student council with you." He smirked. "Mr. Student Council President."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at him in annoyance, making him laugh.

"What? I voted for you." Naruto bit his lip to keep from laughing again. "You look constipated now. You do that same thing with me. Er. In my universe, I mean."

"Can I tell you something I don't know whether you'll understand?" Sasuke asked.

"Sure." Naruto nodded, though his tone made him nervous. "Anything you want."

"You look like my Naruto, sound like him, sometimes you say things I know he'd say, but at the same time, I can't always predict what you'll say because I'd expect him to say something a little differently than you do. So, I _know_ you're not him. That doesn't mean my body and, though he'd make fun of me for saying so, my _heart_ don't recognize you as him… but, to think of you as having known me at 16 is so strange. I've shared some things from my past with him. Not that I try to hide it, but some of those things, for reasons I won't explain, are too hard to talk about, even with him. I don't know what I'm feeling, lying here with a Naruto who knows _that_ me. In fact, it's reminding me a lot of things, memories, feelings. I even feel that me, your Sasuke, coming to the surface." Sasuke touched his cheek, wearing such an open and honest expression it nearly broke his heart. "Does any of that make sense?"

Nodding, Naruto leaned into his hand. "Looking at you, it's the same for me. Is this what you become as we get older? If you and I are together at 25, will he and I be together years from now? Or, do you and I have different paths and lives to lead? I want to ask you about these things you're hiding from me, but I get your reasoning. Even if I'm fighting with _my_ Sasuke, I still feel protective of him. To me, he's family. Like a brother. Except.. heh. One I fool around with from time to time. We don't have some crazy romance. Hell, he slept with another guy while we were in the same house - "

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Sasuke sat up quickly, his hand falling away from Naruto's cheek. That left him straddling Naruto's waist, which was quite distracting, really.

"Um. That you slept with some DJ at a house party while I was high off my ass in the basement?" Naruto answered.

Sasuke looked perplexed. "I wouldn't do that. That's the last thing I would do to Naruto."

"Well, you did." Naruto raised himself on his elbows. "It's not like you and I were together."

"I had sex with one person in high school, and that was Yahiko. I might've fooled around with a guy from one of the bands, or maybe kissed other boys, but I didn't do much until I came out."

Naruto sighed. "I don't want to talk about it. I feel like I've talked and thought about that so much. I'm tired of it, especially 'cause things with us went downhill from there. Or, well. I thought we were okay the night I confessed to you, but look how that turned out."

"I know it doesn't mean much," Sasuke placed both hands on his chest, "But on his behalf, I'm sorry. I don't know why I would do that. I would never purposely be cruel to you."

"You told me you felt neglected. Because I'd dated those girls. Made it seem like 'cause we'd never gone all the way, you wanted to get a reaction out of me." Naruto smiled sadly at him. "It worked. You can be very manipulative when you want to be."

"I'm sorry."

"Funny," he mumbled, feeling suddenly bitter. "You haven't even said that to me yet."

"All I know is the most terrifying thing I can think of to happen now is losing you." Sasuke, leaning over, took Naruto's face in his hands and kissed him passionately.

For a second, it felt like they were both experiencing the same fear and melancholy: Sasuke afraid of losing him, and Naruto afraid of losing Sasuke. He pressed his palms into Sasuke's shoulder blades, wanting to dig his nails in harder just so he wouldn't leave. The fervor of their kissing grew, and he could tell they both wanted the same thing. Sasuke began moving on top of him again, and Naruto didn't know how to describe this feeling of wanting to disappear inside of this person. He didn't want be let up by him either. He wanted this to go on forever, because the connection between them was more meaningful than anything he could imagine. It brought to mind the deepest love he could think of, on par with the love he had for his mom. The desire was so intense, he let out a quiet cry of anguish, lust, and impatience into Sasuke's mouth. Instead of stopping, Sasuke kissed him harder, pushing his tongue deeper, and - lifting his hips - shoved a hand beneath the waistband of Naruto's pants. Sasuke cupped him over his underwear, groping and squeezing. He opened his mouth to moan, and Sasuke sucked on the tip of his tongue. He couldn't keep himself on the bed any longer, and as his hips rocked against Sasuke's hand, Naruto whimpered underneath him, words he wanted to say muffled by their kissing.

Sasuke, appearing as dazed as he was, pulled away just enough to check on him.

"What is it?" He asked.

Naruto couldn't speak, though.

Rubbing his lips together, Sasuke - despite the groan of disappointment Naruto let out - removed his hand from Naruto's sweats. The older man shifted to the side in order to pull Naruto's pants off the rest of the way. Helplessly, he watched, knowing he was hard as a rock, and that if Sasuke so much as breathed on him right now, he'd come and would hate himself for it. His face, which already felt feverish and flushed, must've grown hotter still as Sasuke's eyes focused on the bulge tenting his boxer briefs. Vaguely, he mused, he grew up to be a boxer-briefs kind of guy instead of just boxers. Likely Sasuke's doing since that's all he wore. Which led to him thinking about this Sasuke who didn't seem to be wearing anything at all.

Naruto closed his eyes. God, even thinking about Sasuke wearing no underwear was driving him fucking insane. He only opened them again when he felt Sasuke move around on the bed and the sound of a drawer sliding open. Though it felt heavy, Naruto turned his head to watch while the other man pulled a couple of recognizable items out of a drawer. When he returned to the center of the bed - where he sat beside Naruto - he dropped a tube of lube and a condom next to Naruto's hip. Okay, images of them having sex wasn't helping.

"Shit," he said. "If this is a dream, I feel so bad for housekeeping."

Sasuke snorted. "I'm surprised you can talk. You were starting to look like you couldn't even breathe."

Naruto managed a glare and then raised his hand to give him the finger.

"You weren't this bad the first time I fucked you," Sasuke teased. "But, you _did_ end up begging for it. That was within the first week of us knowing each other, by the way."

He groaned. "Shut up. I am _this_ close to the edge."

Sasuke crawled over him on hands and knees. " _How_ close?"

"Close enough I'm gonna need you not to touch me for about five minutes."

"I think you overestimate my restraint," Sasuke dropped to his elbows, bringing their faces so very close, "Naruto."

"Fuck you, Sasuke. Seriously."

"You wouldn't last long enough if I let you."

"Let me?" He narrowed his eyes. "I bet you're the one who _begs_ for it."

Sasuke wet his lips. "And here I thought I'd show mercy by giving you a break."

"What does someone like you know about mercy, huh?" He asked, his hips rising off the bed, but Sasuke was out of reach.

Sasuke's laughter was mocking and dark, his eyes alight and reflecting the same lust Naruto was struggling with. "I could make you come right now without even touching you. That's how good I am." His lips traced the shell of Naruto's ear, "Uzumaki."

He sucked in a sharp breath, eyes shutting tight again. Sasuke wasn't wrong. If he said anything right now, it would be too much. He was panting so loud it was unmistakable. While over him, Sasuke mercifully remained quiet. It took all of Naruto's willpower to get himself under control so that he wouldn't pull Sasuke down and hump him to completion.

"I take it it's been a while?"

"Long enough," Naruto answered.

"Hn."

Naruto glared. "You got cocky."

"I have reasons to be."

Lowering himself, Sasuke dragged his tongue over Naruto's left nipple and sucked on it. After his head hit the pillow, Naruto's eyes focused on the ceiling as he tried (unsuccessfully) not to think about the wicked things Sasuke could do with his tongue. That talented mouth abandoned his abused nipple and began to trail kisses from his chest to his stomach. He shivered as Sasuke's fingers tracked down his sides to the waistband of his underwear. He was afraid to look, already busy holding his breath when Sasuke found that damp spot on his briefs and sucked on him through the cotton.

Fingers traced over the outline of his cock, and Sasuke, wrapping his sexy lips around the head, gave it another harsh, hungry suck that resulted in a wet, slurping noise. The sound alone turned him on so much it brought tears to his eyes. He let out the most wanting and needy moan he'd ever heard come from his own lips. Just observing Sasuke's pink tongue darting out to lick along the shape of his quivering member was too much, so with an angry growl, he grabbed the other man by the hair, momentarily forgetting their age difference, and stared Sasuke straight in the eye.

"I _told_ you to wait five minutes," he said, his voice raw and threatening.

A crooked smile spread across Sasuke's face. "I can't help myself."

"I think you can," Naruto replied in an authoritative tone.

Sasuke's eyelids lowered in submission, sending interesting signals to Naruto's crotch.

"If you're this close," Sasuke whispered. "Let me get you off."

"And who are you to decide when I get off? I'm certainly not gonna come in my pants the first time we have sex," Naruto replied, still gripping at his hair and holding him in place.

"Just to be clear," Sasuke, eyes still lowered, licked his lips. "We are having sex then?"

"You're the one who brought out the accessories."

"Naruto." Sasuke's gaze was on his lips now.

"What?" He placed a hand on the man's hip.

"Kiss me."

"Why should I?" He pulled Sasuke on top of him so that the man could feel Naruto's hard length pressed to his stomach.

This time, it was Sasuke who let out a whimper. He forgot about taunting him and, instead, pushed down at the back of his head. He kissed him bruisingly, tasting the bitterness of his own cum on the man's lips. Sasuke moaned, the lower half of his body grinding deliciously against Naruto's.

"Naruto." Sasuke kept murmuring his name between a series of long kisses and snuck a hand inside his shorts.

Thrown off by just how needy he sounded, Naruto didn't fight it when fingers wrapped around him tightly and started to pump his cock. The method of his strokes was so similar to the way Sasuke's touch felt. So, when he closed his eyes it was almost as if his Sasuke were here. That alone was enough to push him right to the edge again, his pleasure hinging on Sasuke's touch.

"Don't come yet."

Sasuke gave a quick nip to his chin and slid his way down Naruto's body. He gripped Naruto's briefs and carefully tugged them over his hips, freeing his bouncing erection. The cold air hitting his skin caused him to gasp. He couldn't have moved on his own to assist him, so it was Sasuke who yanked his underwear off. The older man arranged him so that he lay slumped against the headboard, knees bent and spread apart.

Lying on his stomach, Sasuke slipped his arms under Naruto's knees, and after firmly gripping the base of his shaft, took him into his mouth with a purr of satisfaction. In a barely lucid haze, Naruto watched from his vantage point, transfixed by the way the dark-haired man's head bobbed between his legs. He spread his legs wider, fascinated by the image before him, of his cock sliding into Sasuke's very willing and eager mouth. The one time he let Naruto fall out, a long string of pre-come connected the leaking tip of his cock to Sasuke's wet and glistening lips.

Gazing up at him, Sasuke smirked and licked it away with his tongue.

"Jesus," Naruto gasped. "You… porn star."

The laughter the comment earned was husky and amazingly sexy. Sasuke, looking confident and sure, began to stroke him at a lazy pace, apparently aware Naruto was on the verge of an orgasm likely to knock him off his feet (if he'd been standing).

"Have you had fingers in you before," Sasuke used his tongue to swipe at another dribble of cum leaking from the tip, "Naruto?"

"Uh." He glanced at the lube. "Only recently."

"You're close, so I'm going to do it now. Unless you don't want to go that far…?"

He nodded. "Yeah… do whatever you want to do, Sasuke. I'm all yours."

Sasuke reached for the lube "Be careful what you say. That's dangerous."

"Like I'm worried about anything you could do," Naruto replied.

He took in a deep breath in an attempt to calm his body. He watched everything Sasuke did. The other man was so meticulous in all his movements, graceful even. Naruto found himself drawn to those long fingers, thinking about them playing guitar or on the piano and how this Sasuke, for unknown reasons, no longer wanted to play anymore. The act of watching Sasuke lube up his ass definitely helped settle his nerves. He squeezed out a few generous drops near his crack, slathering it around his hole. Naruto ended up tensing, not because he didn't want to do this, but because a tiny voice inside his head was angry at him for doing this with a Sasuke who wasn't his own. He told that voice to "shut the fuck up," though. His Sasuke had been given that chance, so now it was Naruto's turn to have what he wanted: a Sasuke who wanted him as much as he wanted Sasuke.

"I wonder if you'll be tight, or if you're about the same," Sasuke wondered aloud, briefly raising his eyes to meet Naruto's before pushing in the tip of his middle finger. After a second, he rotated his hand, palm-side up, and pushed it in up to the first knuckle.

Naruto let out a small noise of surprise, shifting against the pillows that were keeping him upright. Sasuke wrapped an arm around one of his thighs and dragged him further down the bed so that only Naruto's shoulders were propped up on pillows. It meant he still had a view of _everything_. Watching Sasuke's finger disappearing into his ass wasn't nearly as hot as watching his dick go into his mouth, but it was… intimate. Intimate in a way that made his mind begin to think about the next step. One he hadn't taken with the other Sasuke yet but knew that, had they started a relationship, would've followed rather quickly.

"Don't tense up," Sasuke said, concentrating on his fingers instead of him, which was good because Naruto was starting to get emotional about this being their first time.

Sasuke added more lube and, when Naruto took in another deep breath, he pushed a second finger in, all the way to the second knuckle, and started moving them in and out.

Finally, Sasuke glanced up at him. "Naruto? Is this okay?"

While biting his lip, Naruto nodded and hoped he looked convincing.

"Don't just nod," said Sasuke. "Tell me it's okay. If it's not, say that, too."

"...It's okay," Naruto replied. "I'm… it's nothing you're doing… I'm getting…"

Sasuke stared at him a little longer before moving up the length of his body. The fingers remained inside of him, unmoving, but Sasuke found his lips and kissed him. While Naruto returned the kiss, the fingers inside him began to move and thrust. Sasuke's weight on top of him already felt like an anchor that would keep him from floating away. Everything about him was so close to the Sasuke he knew, with only the obvious experience being a difference.

"Who knew you'd be the one teaching me this is how it's done?" Naruto murmured after Sasuke had decided to pay attention to his neck, licking and sucking on him.

"This is just the start," Sasuke replied, thrusting his two fingers in deeper.

Naruto could even feel it when they spread apart inside of him. He gasped, "Sasuke."

"Just a little bit more." Sasuke pressed their open mouths together, waiting for him.

Naruto shut his eyes and touched his tongue to Sasuke's, the both of them moaning as their hips rocked in time with the short thrusts of his hand. Just barely, he shifted and, for a second, Sasuke's fingers probed _deeper_ , hitting a spot that made his toes curl. He cried out unexpectedly, but the sound became muffled when Sasuke's mouth was on his again. Every time Sasuke stroked that one spot, Naruto let out a pathetic whimper.

It felt like it would last forever, this level of pleasure that kept him hanging on the brink. But the fingers slipped out from inside of him. His eyes were barely open, yet he was able to see when Sasuke reached for the condom, tore the wrapper open with his teeth, and stripped his pants off. Naruto let out a grunt of annoyance when he saw for sure that Sasuke wore nothing under them.

"What?" Sasuke asked, tossing his pants on the floor and stroking his own length as he settled above him on the bed. "Problem?"

"You're not wearing any underwear," he growled, feeling oddly possessive and jealous.

"What does it matter? You're the one I come home to."

"Still." He narrowed his eyes at him, but, shortly after, his gaze fell to Sasuke's very prominent erection. Was it odd that he really wanted that in his mouth right now?

"There's no time for that," said Sasuke, as if reading his mind. "You won't last."

"I have plenty of stamina, thanks," Naruto replied.

Sasuke snorted. "Not at 17, I'm sure."

Grabbing him by the legs, he dragged Naruto further down the bed, and, reaching for one of the pillows, shoved it underneath him so that his ass was elevated and on display. Sliding forward, Sasuke kneeled between Naruto's legs and wrapped them both around his waist. He reached over Naruto for the condom and lube. Without a single fumble, he rolled on the condom and slicked himself up before discarding the tube.

"Speak now," said Sasuke, "Or forever hold your peace."

"Heh." Naruto wiggled his hips impatiently. "I wanna do this with you. Just don't forget." He suddenly became a little nervous. "I haven't, you know, done this before."

"You have." Sasuke kissed his inner thigh. "We have. You will with him one day, too."

"I wonder…"

"Ready?" Sasuke pressed against him, cock sliding neatly between his cheeks.

He nodded. "Yeah."

Naruto didn't know if he wanted to watch, but as Sasuke began to inch forward - the tip starting to push in - he couldn't take his eyes off of him. He watched the other man's face, focused and nerves like steel. Then he dropped his gaze to catch the moment Sasuke was really inside of him. Not all the way, but enough that Naruto could feel the sting of being stretched.

"God," he said and, only for a second, threw an arm across his eyes.

The emotional part of what was happening hit him again as memories and feelings rolled through him like a wave. He needed _something_ right now, and Sasuke, going deeper, reached for his hand. When he felt the weight of Sasuke's body settle on top of his, he welcomed him with open arms.

Sasuke kissed at his throat while thrusting inside of him, lifting his legs under the knees, and bringing Naruto near to tears.

Naruto squeezed him tighter. "Yes," he moaned. "Oh, Sa _su_ ke."

Sasuke let out a vicious growl and searched out his lips, their tongues sliding hotly together as he felt the snap of the other man's hips against him.

"How does it feel?" Sasuke asked, breathing hard. "Good?"

"Yeah." He hugged him to his body, panting. "Let go of my legs…"

Sasuke did, and Naruto wrapped them around him, able to press his heels into the backs of his strong thighs, urging him to enter him deeper.

"Don't be gentle with me, Sasuke, you bastard." He bit him on the shoulder.

"You're the one who asked for it, idiot," Sasuke shot back.

He grabbed a fistful of Naruto's hair and gave his head a yank while slamming into him. Naruto could only grunt at the onslaught of Sasuke's powerful thrusts. The sounds he made were wanton, needy, and primal. This was sex with another man, with Sasuke, and it felt fucking incredible. He would've loved to have tried out other positions, but it was creeping up on him again. Every other thrust, Sasuke brushed that one spot inside of him, getting closer like scratching an itch. He reached between their bodies, finding space to start stroking himself.

"That's it, Naruto," Sasuke said encouragingly. "Tell me if you're close."

"I-I'm close," he grunted, trying to ride him from underneath, pushing back and controlling the pace more as his orgasm loomed just out of his reach.

But, Sasuke slid both arms underneath his, rolling them over so that he was now on top.

"Grab my shoulders," Sasuke told him. "Ride me, and I'll jerk you off. _Fuck_ me, Naruto."

In this new position, he felt more control. He took hold of Sasuke's shoulders, grinding his hips down onto him. Sasuke's fingers wrapped around him, stroking him fast and rough, their hot and sweaty skin slapping loudly together. When he thrust up into him, Naruto cried out and briefly lost his grip on Sasuke's shoulder. By then, it didn't matter because he was already cumming while riding him. It felt like he was being lifted off the bed, which creaked and groaned beneath their frantic movements. Sasuke's hips rose to fuck him hard, and Naruto fell forward, catching himself on the man's chest as more ribbons of his cum shot out and covered Sasuke's stomach. The blood rushed to his head. He collapsed. Sasuke was still moving inside him.

Naruto managed to press a kiss to the side of his neck before Sasuke came, too, with a low growl resembling his name. Naruto's body was shaking. He couldn't move anymore. Sasuke's hands gently stroked up and down his back, soothing him when it felt as though he couldn't string a coherent thought together. Sasuke reached for him, taking hold of his face in both hands. Tiredly, Naruto stared back, but when their lips met for a final kiss, it stirred something deep within him. It was a longing for what he could've had, anguish that he couldn't have it, and a fear of all this coming to an end soon.

Yet, in Sasuke's kiss there was love, affection, and tenderness. It was so much, _too_ much. Naruto started to cry in the midst of it, the tears streaking his cheeks. A quiet sobbing noise erupted from his throat, but Sasuke kissed him a few more times. Naruto hugged him, held him close, and when Sasuke broke away it was to smile, stroke his cheek, and whisper in his ear.

"I'm sorry. I love you. Goodbye, Naruto."

* * *

It was with tears in his eyes that Naruto awoke to a dark room. He could hear the sound of an ambulance a few blocks away. The heater kicked on, causing one of the vents to make an ugly metal clanging noise.

Naruto glanced at the alarm. It was only a little before midnight. After all of that, he felt empty inside, hollow. Alone. He could almost feel Sasuke still inside him. His heart was beating fast, and his palms were really sweaty. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, hoping - even if it was futile - to suddenly slip back into that fantasy of a Sasuke who welcomed him with open arms.

The heater abruptly ticked off, leaving the room eerily silent and extremely warm.

He threw the covers away, grimacing when he felt how sticky everything was. Not just inside his boxers, but his whole body was covered in sweat . With a grimace, Naruto hopped out of bed and went in search of a clean pair. He was just about to walk into the bathroom when he spotted his phone sitting on the table between the two beds. It was off, but Naruto turned it on and waited. When all the notifications filled the top of the screen, he held his breath, stupidly hoping for a sign. Would Sasuke have bothered to send a text asking he'd arrived safely in Chicago? The bastard _knew_ how much he hated flying. Seeing a notification for a text appear on his screen, Naruto's heart leapt.

He opened the message and read it, but it was from Itachi. It had totally slipped his mind to text him once they'd landed. There were other messages, but none from Sasuke. It shouldn't have surprised him. It shouldn't have hurt, but it did.

Naruto powered off his phone and set it down, rubbing at his chest. That feeling of sadness, he let it pass through him, allowing only a handful of seconds of self-pity before he went into the bathroom to clean himself off. Nothing had changed. It had only been a dream. Sasuke, as he knew him, wasn't going to budge. It didn't matter how many versions his subconscious tried to create in order to give him false hope. The truth was Sasuke no longer seemed to give a shit about him or his feelings. He knew this, and maybe a week here would give him the time he needed to finally accept it. But a dream like _that_ certainly hadn't made it hurt any less.

* * *

TBC


	8. Act II: All Outta Angst

a/n: Thanks for the reviews! I don't know if I'll be writing more "interludes" with ISOC them or not. Thank you to Nonsenseverse, asm613, and Louise To for the sbux ecards! I was in LA for the past week or so hence the slight delay. Enjoy.

* * *

 _Dedicated to netamashii_

* * *

On Friday night, Sasuke was kidnapped and manipulated into going out with Itachi and his friends. Most of them had been giving him the cold shoulder over Naruto, but they seemed to be acting tolerably toward him tonight. Well, sort of. After all, he was alone in a booth in the back, under the cover of darkness, drinking an exceptionally strong bourbon with one cube of ice. It was Jiroubou that brought it to him, but once he realized Sasuke wasn't in the mood for conversation, he'd wandered off to join the rest of the noisy pack at the bar.

The last two days at school had been more calm and quiet than usual. Seeing Naruto not at his desk sixth period or not hearing his obnoxious voice during gym made him feel… _strange_. Not that Naruto was free of absences, but he started to wonder what it would be like if he'd never moved here or if he were to suddenly move away from Seattle. If Sasuke hadn't just spoken with Minato this past weekend, he might even be paranoid that was something they were considering. If Naruto went back to Illinois for college, would Minato go, too? Would Naruto have a reason to return here if he did?

After their last fight and Itachi's date with Naruto on Tuesday, he hadn't felt inclined to try texting him, but Itachi did report that he'd safely arrived in Chicago. Sasuke hadn't asked about what he was up to. The only thing he knew was that Naruto had a college visit today. It shouldn't shock him any because Naruto had always said he intended to go back and be with friends. Then again, he'd also offered to stay for him.

Sasuke stared at his nearly empty glass, the ice having already melted. It was a weird feeling to have someone say something like that. Obviously the offer only remained on the table if he'd given a different answer. He hated to admit that, even with everything going on, he didn't dislike the idea of them staying in the same town while they went to college. He imagined that, by then, he'd be out to his family and would've dealt with whatever consequences there may be.

But, that was an issue for future him to deal with; he didn't want any of that right now.

"Need another one?"

Sasuke glanced up and found one slim, blond-haired man dressed - fairly conservatively for him - in black leather pants and a gray shirt made of shiny material. He looked good. Almost normal. _Attractive_ even. That would surely all change should he open his mouth again.

Deidara slid into the booth beside him, but left some space between their bodies.

"Are you buying?" Sasuke asked, shifting his glass around in circles.

Deidara snatched it from him and drank the little bit that was left. "Only because you look so miserable over here by your lonesome."

"Is that what all of you are talking about? How you pity me?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Luckily, hostility looks really good with that haircut," the blond man replied and touched the back of Sasuke's head. "I think it needs a trim. You should let me do it."

"I don't know that I want you anywhere near me with a pair of scissors."

"Can I join?"

The two of them glanced up when Kimimaro decided to walk over to the table, too.

"Sasuke," he said. "This is from your brother." Kimimaro set down a new drink and slid into the booth on Sasuke's opposite side. It was like they were trying to trap him.

Deidara put an arm around his shoulders. "I was just telling our little Sasuke here that he needs a haircut, Kimi. What do you think, hm?"

Sasuke picked up his new drink. These two could say what they wanted, but he was fine with free drinks and getting drunk tonight. But when it was Kimimaro who suddenly touched the carefully styled and spiked hair at the back of his head, his gaze slid in the direction of the _very_ attractive older man. His long, silvery hair was pulled up loosely into a ponytail so that most of it fell over his broad shoulders. Even feeling his body heat so close was distracting for him.

"It looks good to me," said Kimimaro. "But Sasuke always looks good."

"Tch. Figures you'd say that," Deidara replied, leaning over him to carry on their conversation. "You're always on his side. Just because he's cute, we shouldn't reward him for his bad behavior. You know what happens when enabled, good looking gay men grow up."

"What?" Sasuke asked. "They reject you?" He smirked. "Because of high standards?"

Kimimaro smacked him on the back of the head, but coming from him, it was kind of a turn on, so Sasuke kept drinking. If he was ever going to sleep with any more of Itachi's good friends, it would have to be him. He'd be lying if he wasn't thinking a destructive one-night stand wouldn't fit his current mood. In fact, sex would be a great escape right about now.

"You say that," said Deidara. "But I'm sure I'm getting a lot more action than you."

Kimimaro chuckled. "Is that in general or because Naruto's on vacation?"

"Shh." Deidara waved his hand in front of Sasuke's face. "We're not supposed to talk about He Who Must Not Be Named."

"You can talk about Naruto all you want," said Sasuke. "I don't care."

"Good," said Deidara. "I'm glad to hear that because we were just texting, and he was telling me the most hilarious story - "

"Why are you texting him? Don't you have men your own age to play with?" He asked in a nasty tone.

"That's why I'm here, but I thought you just told me I didn't have men around me in droves, so I guess Naruto will have to do." Deidara huffed and pulled out his phone.

Kimimaro leaned in closer in order to talk to him. "How are you doing, Sasuke?"

"You guys all talk as if someone died," he muttered. "So Naruto and I had a fight, what's the big deal? All of you have sided with him, so it shouldn't matter what I think or feel."

"It very much matters," said Kimimaro. "Just because we all think you did the wrong thing doesn't mean you aren't entitled to your reasons. It does mean we have to hang out with the two of you at separate times, though." The man tilted his head and smiled at him.

Sasuke settled into the arm he'd offered. "Oh, have you also been going on dates with him like my brother did the other day?"

"I've seen him around if that's what you're asking. He's usually at the dance club with that friend of his… Sai? I've spoken to him a few times. Seems nice enough."

Sasuke snorted. "Hardly."

"You don't like him? He's not the kid you slept with - "

" _No_." Sasuke picked up his drink and took a large gulp. "I have better taste than that."

"I'm sure. You know, Deidara and I have talked about this before, but if we can help you in any way, you're always welcome to talk to us about anything."

"There's nothing you can say. The reason I said no isn't going to change. Naruto needs to accept it and move on. He's doing that already, isn't he? He's visiting colleges out there."

"I don't know if that's considered 'moving on'," Kimimaro replied. "I didn't even mean if you wanted to talk about Naruto, which is fine, too, but if you want to talk about other things. We don't want you to feel alone. It's hard being a gay teen and not feeling like you have someone to talk to, and with you not speaking to Naruto - "

"I'm fine."

Deidara, who'd been furiously texting beside him, let out a loud laugh that had Sasuke glaring at him because he was talking to Naruto. Did he have to do it right next to him?

"What?" Deidara asked when he saw Sasuke looking his way. "Do you want me to tell him hi? I bet he'd like to hear from you."

"Yeah, right." Sasuke shook his head and, cupping his glass, stared sullenly into it.

"What's he up to tonight?" Kimimaro asked. "Living it up in Chicago?"

"I'm under the impression he's in Joliet, but yes. He says he's with an old friend named Kiba, and they're at a party where he's hanging out with other friends from his former high school. How unfair, I wish he was here telling me my hair and nails look good and making me laugh."

"If you love him so much," said Sasuke, getting irritated, "Why don't _you_ ask him out?"

"I would if I thought he'd be interested in me like that," Deidara replied calmly. "After all, he's a good looking boy, nice, funny, athletic, and he's blond, so he'd understand what it's like for us flaxen-haired creatures after we become overwhelmed with all the attention we receive for being beautiful."

Kimimaro chuckled. "I'm sure you'll bump into him when he gets back."

"Oh, I know we will. I already made plans with him. We're talking about it right now."

As if on cue, Deidara's phone buzzed a couple of times.

"Do you mind if I say hi?" Kimimaro asked.

"Of course! I was going to the powder room anyway." Deidara, handing his phone over, departed for the restroom, leaving a very annoyed Sasuke behind.

Was there anywhere he could go that he might be able to escape Naruto's presence.

He spied the older man smiling while texting back and forth with Naruto.

"Sounds like they're having fun," Kimimaro mused aloud. "This Kiba character seems like a fun guy." Without Sasuke prompting, he was shown a picture Naruto had sent of himself with another boy. He had choppy dark brown hair, a mischievous grin, and looked like he'd be as cocky, loud, and annoying as Naruto was at times. Naruto… looked good. He seemed happy to be amongst his friends again. There were a lot of people in the background.

Well, good for him. Sasuke was so glad Naruto was able to get away from him for a while.

He surveyed the room. Itachi, Jiroubou, Hidan, Kisame, and another two guys Sasuke couldn't clearly see enough to know who they were had taken over that end of the bar. It was a small establishment on the outskirts of the city. The commute to his house would've been 15 minutes from here. He considered texting Rin to see what she was up to, but hanging out with her would only remind him of Naruto. Then again, that was pretty much the theme for tonight.

"I'll get you another," Kimimaro abruptly whispered in his ear, sending goosebumps rising along his bare arms.

The older man, after picking up Sasuke's empty glass, got up to go to the bar, incidentally leaving Deidara's phone behind. It lit up with another text, and Sasuke stared at the screen. When it went off another couple of times, he picked it up to read what was going on. If they didn't want him to read it, they wouldn't have left it here. He also wouldn't put it past them to have done it on purpose. Or, they incorrectly suspected he was above invading someone's privacy. He'd had enough drinks to not give a fuck.

Sasuke read the texts between Kimimaro and Naruto. It wasn't hardly anything, but it was slightly flirty, which made his eyebrow tick. Kimimaro commented on the blond looking hot in the photo with his friend. Naruto had sent more photos of party happenings, most of which involved people drinking in the background and Naruto's card hand in whatever game this group of five other guys were playing. Poker, maybe.

He'd texted: _What do you think? Should I bet it all?_

Naruto did have two pair: aces and 10s. He'd never known anyone with a worse poker face than Naruto, but the idiot did seem to have a tremendous amount of luck. He debated how terrible it would be to text back under the guise of either being Kimimaro or Deidara.

He typed out a harmless response: _Go for it. What do you have to lose?_

It didn't take long before Naruto replied. _Twenty bucks, and I'm gonna need that for your mom when I get home._

Sasuke rolled his eyes. _Unlike Seattle, does that joke actually work on people there?_

 _Is this Itachi?_

Shit. He forgot that Deidara and Kimimaro were nice people. Sasuke wasn't used to holding back on his sarcasm. It irked him, too, that Naruto jumped to Itachi. He decided to play along with this for now. It'd be good revenge after that date of theirs.

 _How'd you guess? What happened with your hand? I wouldn't want my mother to be disappointed when you come home without any money._

 _I won, of course! And, if I'd known it was you, I wouldn't have said that about your mother! Mikoto's a classy lady. I'd totally pay more than that. Then when we get married, you'll have to call me tou-san, right?_

Sasuke didn't know if he was amused or irritated. On the one hand, this is the type of conversation Naruto apparently had with his brother over texts, but on the other, he liked being able to go tit for tat with Naruto again... even if Naruto didn't know it was him.

"Having fun?" Kimimaro asked, startling Sasuke when he set a drink in front of him.

After being caught red-handed, there was no point in lying, but instead of lecturing him, Kimimaro simply smiled.

"Who are you pretending to be? Me? Or Deidara?"

"Neither," he said.

"You told him it's you?" Kimimaro asked, sounding surprised.

"He thinks I'm Itachi for some reason."

"Ah, that makes sense."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, wondering if he should be offended.

"I'll leave you to it. Just don't get anybody into trouble," said the older man. "I mean it, Sasuke. You know better."

Kimimaro left, and Sasuke watched him head for the outside exit, likely because he wanted to go have a smoke in the back alley. The phone vibrated in his hand again.

 _You don't really have to call me tou-san_

Sasuke slid his thumb up and down his glass, smearing the condensation. He picked it up and took a drink. It was the strongest of the ones he'd had so far.

 _You're not marrying my mother. I think my father would take issue with that._

 _As long as that's your only concern. What happened to Deidara and Kimimaro? Did they abandon me like your brother did? What's he up to anyway?_

Oh.

That first comment wasn't so great, but he hadn't expected Naruto to ask about him. What should he say? Admit that he was here? How would Naruto react if he did?

 _Deidara's in the bathroom. Kimimaro's outside having a smoke. Sasuke is… here actually._

There wasn't an immediate response, so Sasuke thought he might've been found out, or Naruto was mad just hearing he was around. At least until the next text came.

 _Good. I'm glad you guys invited him out. Someone has to keep an eye on him._

How would Itachi respond exactly? Probably by making fun of him. _If it makes you feel better_ , _he's moping in a booth by himself. We're sedating him with free drinks. No need to worry._

 _Heh. You're such a good brother, Itachi. What's he moping about? Did Menudo break up again? I know that's his favorite band._

Smartass.

 _Isn't it obvious what he's moping about? Lamenting you not being here for a week._

 _Yeah, right. I doubt that. You nearly made me spit out my drink._

Sasuke glared at the phone and that blinking cursor awaiting his next text.

He started to type something and could only get out _Naruto._

Sasuke stared at that one word while swallowing more of his strong drink. He hit send, unsure what he wanted to follow it up with, but Naruto was already responding.

 _If you would've used an exclamation point, I could've imagined dirtier things! Too early in the night for you to already be sayin' my name, Itachi._

Sasuke glanced over at his brother. What the hell did these two talk about when they were texting or calling? Now the idea of them on a date unnerved him even more. Itachi, seeing him, gave a wave. His response was a dark glare that his brother probably couldn't see.

He typed: _Sounds like you need to get laid while you're gone._

 _Maybe. There were a lot of good lookin' peeps at my old school. I'll send a pic._

Sasuke squinted at a picture of girl with dark hair past her shoulders, light eyes, and a large chest. She was speaking to an attractive, long-haired teen who looked almost identical to her. Maybe a twin or older brother?

 _Yes, he does look to be your type_ , Sasuke texted.

 _Hilarious. That's Neji and his cousin Hinata. She's pretty cute, right? But she's super shy. Not really my style, y'know?_

Sasuke was beginning to regret this turn in conversation. _Sasuke will be happy to hear you've moved on. Good luck._

He was going to put the phone away but when it vibrated so quickly after his reply, Sasuke decided to take a peek.

 _What's he doing right now? Still moping?_

Sasuke frowned. _I'd say he's moved from moping to being mildly irritated._

 _How come? Deidara sitting in his lap again?_

 _Do you really want to know?_

 _Sure, yeah. Something wrong? Is he okay?_

 _He's… as okay as you'd expect without you around…_ Sasuke quickly deleted that, though, and retyped: _Just a bad mood. Nothing new._

 _Ah, okay. That's too bad. He should enjoy everyone's company. It's nice to, you know, get your mind off stuff sometimes._

 _I suppose. How was that college visit today?_

 _I already told you it was good! I sent you pictures. How drunk are you? LOL_

 _Ah, right. I forgot. Drunk enough, I guess. You?_

 _I'm okay. I'm having fun just watching everyone. It's good to be back._

 _So you'd be happy going to college there?_

 _I don't know. Maybe. Mind is elsewhere. Don't even know what I want anymore. Ever have that feeling? Ah, who am I kidding? If anything, you're someone I look up to for being so driven and focused._

Fucking stop flirting with my brother, idiot.

Sasuke scowled at the phone. _You're not hitting on me right now, are you?_

 _Lol_

That wasn't an answer. _I_ am _pretty hot. Everyone thinks so. You'd be lucky to have a go with me._

 _Hell yeah I would. And "have a go". What are you, British?_

 _Shut up, Naruto._

 _Ah, don't do that! You sound like Sasuke._

He hesitated for a second, feeling slightly guilty for tricking him _. We_ are _brothers. I imagine we sound the same at times._

 _No comment D:_

Sasuke's cheeks flushed slightly.

Naruto texted again: _That reminds me, I had this crazy dream the other night. I don't wanna gross you out with details, but remind me to tell you about how fucking real it felt when I get back. Maybe I have a tumor?_

 _Not about me, I take it?_ He asked, trying not to hold out hope he meant about him _. It's not a tumor, btw._

 _:X I'll tell you about it when it won't bring up some seriously dirty images for me_

Why did he _really_ want Naruto to specifically admit it was about him? _I'm sure it would improve Sasuke's mood if he knew you were having dirty dreams about him._

 _Tch. I doubt it. Besides, I don't wanna be your brother's fuck buddy anymore. Sorry if TMI. Not that I did that! All the way, I mean. Um…_

Fuck buddy? Sasuke finished off his drink. Were they really back to that again? _I don't think my brother considers you a "fuck buddy", Naruto. I'm sure he misses you in his own way. You know how he is._

 _Not sure I do tbh, but anyway, the point is to put him out of my head, so I think I'm gonna go have a few drinks and ask a pretty girl to dance with me. Tell everyone I said hi._

Sasuke didn't reply; he didn't receive any more texts after that either. He re-read their conversation. It had been like old times for a brief moment, but then it all circled back again. So, Naruto really thought he used him and didn't care? Was there nothing he'd done in the last 10 months to indicate he _didn't_ feel something deeper for him? Putting romantic love aside, which he _did_ feel, they were friends. Whether Naruto chose to believe it or not, Sasuke thought of him that way. He was the closest friend he'd ever had, and, yes, sometimes even _he_ didn't understand why he'd treat a person he loved this way. But, Naruto wasn't supposed to just let their friendship go without a fight.

It got him thinking about their phone conversation after Saturday's show. When Naruto asked about his song choices. At the time, he hadn't put much thought into why he'd picked the one he'd sang that night.

 _Would you fight for my love?_

On some subconscious level, did he _want_ Naruto to chase him? To change his mind? Even if it meant doing so forcefully? Besides it making for a rather appealing sexual scenario, it was an intriguing possibility on its own. Maybe about as intriguing as Naruto having realistic and detailed sex dreams about him. Speaking of, he kept thinking about that one pretty girl from the party. Shy or not, that didn't matter to a guy if it was about sex. Even if Naruto did get up to something while he was away, Sasuke tried to convince himself it was perfectly fair. At least he knew it would only be because Naruto was trying to forget about him.

As if he could. It was as likely as Sasuke being able to not think about _him_.

Tipsy, he started to fantasize a situation in which Naruto would imagine his mouth, his hands, and _his_ body while with some _girl_. Could Sasuke find satisfaction in that even if it meant Naruto was getting physical with someone else? It's not like it was the first time Naruto had been with someone else while they'd known one another. But, it would be the first time since Naruto's confession.

Well, nothing he could do about it from here.

Tired of being by himself, Sasuke got up from the booth, slipped the phone into his pocket, and decided to join the rest of the rowdy group gathered around the bar.

* * *

It was getting later, but the party at his old classmate's house turned out to be a blast. He'd forgotten how much he missed some of these people. It kind of felt like they were able to let loose a lot more than in his friends in Seattle.

"Yo, boy," Kiba said, having collapsed beside him on the couch. "Are you gonna go up and talk to her, or what? She's been staring at you all night."

Naruto glanced around. "Wait, who?"

"Hinata, duh. If you aren't interested - wait, do you think it was me she was checkin' out?"

Naruto glanced over to where his friend was looking. Hinata hadn't left her cousin's side all tonight. Last he remembered, she was always too shy to carry on a conversation with him. They went to the same junior high, too. He used to think she was a little bit weird. After a few drinks, she definitely came off as attractive. Though quiet, at least she was always nice.

"That's up to you, man," he said. "I think she's more your type than mine."

"In what way?" Kiba asked. "Are you datin' some chick in Seattle?"

"No, I can't say I am. I mean, I have, but I'm not dating anyone right now."

"Right, right." Kiba chuckled. "You should be playin' the field, huh? Date as many girls as you can before college."

Naruto turned to him. "Why before college? Isn't that the worst time to date for a guy?"

"I dunno." Kiba shrugged, sipping out of his solo cup. "I think it might be nice to find a cute girl who laughs at my jokes and maybe settle down."

"Settle down that young? Are you _crazy_?" Naruto thwacked him in the stomach. "If I go to NIU, I won't allow it. Unless the most amazing girl in the world suddenly appears, and _if_ that happens, I call dibs."

"You can't call dibs on my future wife," Kiba argued.

Naruto laughed. "Now she's your future wife? Are you an old man, Kiba? What's happened to you since I left?"

"Huh? We weren't even that tight when you were here. You were always hangin' out with Gaara and those other crazy delinquents. So, are you gonna go up to her, or what?"

"I really don't think she's what I'm lookin' for right now. I'm only here for a few days. Not to mention, if I tried anything, Neji might attempt to mind meld me or somethin'."

"Ha, yeah. He does talk like a Vulcan sometimes. He graduates this year."

"Ah, so does one of my good friends in Seattle. It's gonna suck without him."

"Is that the Sasuke you always talk about? I thought he was our age?"

"Nah. It's a different friend." He decided it wasn't worth going into how he and Sasuke weren't exactly friends right now. "Fine." Naruto slapped Kiba's thigh hard enough that the teen let out a yelp. "I'll go talk to her if only to catch up and save her from Neji. I'm sure he's saying something boring. Like 'Hi, I'm Neji. I enjoy talkin' about only things I like to talk about and don't want anyone hittin' on my cousin 'cause I secretly have a thing for her.'"

Kiba cackled loudly. "Go for it. Be cool, though. She _is_ really sweet."

"What kind of animal do you think I am?" Naruto asked, getting up, but not without wobbling. Kiba had to lend an arm to keep him upright.

"Don't be gone too long. I might get lonely."

"Yeah, well, why don't you get a head-start on lookin' for your future wife?"

Ignoring Kiba's slap to his ass, Naruto dropped his empty cup off at a nearby table and tried to walk over to the pair that had been standing near the fireplace for over an hour. He walked right up to both of them, interrupting a one-sided conversation.

"Hey," he said, waving at both of them, but mostly setting his eyes on Hinata. "Long time no see."

"N-Naruto," Hinata greeted shyly. "It's good to see you."

Neji, however, was glaring at him. "Naruto. Glad you could fit the party into your schedule. It's been so quiet in town without you. No suspicious fires as of late, no vehicular theft either."

"Hey, that was just that one time, and Gaara told me the guy was a distant cousin or somethin', so it was definitely more like borrowing than theft," he said.

Hinata giggled, and Neji didn't look very happy about that either.

"Ah, c'mon, Neji." Naruto grinned. "I'm happy to see you. So, you're off to college next fall, eh? Where is it you decided to go?"

"University of Chicago. I've already been accepted. I'll be going into political science."

"That sounds perfect for you," Naruto replied. "And Hinata, where are you thinkin' of going?"

"Oh, well." She wouldn't really meet his eyes. "I'm looking at a design school in California, but my father would prefer I stay around here, and I could be close to Neji, too."

"Yeah, but you should go where you wanna go, right?" He smiled at her.

"That's easier said than done," Neji remarked. "She wouldn't know anyone out there, and Hinata's not used to being on her own."

"That's kinda up to her to decide, don't you think?" Naruto asked. "That's too bad, though. You'll be goin' to the West coast, and I'll likely be comin' back here."

"Why would you do that?" Neji asked curiously. "There are some excellent schools in Seattle. Why would you come back here?"

Naruto scratched at the back of his head. "I always thought I'd come back and go where my friends were. I'm sure it's not news to you my grades aren't gonna get me into somewhere spectacular, so I at least wanna be around the people I grew up with."

"If that's what you want," Neji said, lifting his chin. "I think it'd make more sense to take advantage of the opportunities you're given instead of hanging on to what you had here."

"Neji!" Hinata cried, looking scandalized.

"Uh, no." Naruto waved at her. "It's okay. He has a point. I'm applying to the University of Washington and Seattle U, but there are other reasons why I think comin' back this way would be for the best. I have a few options. I've met with some baseball scouts from different schools, too, but I haven't decided if I wanna play in college is all."

"Why wouldn't you?" Hinata asked. "Aren't you a starting pitcher on the varsity team?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow that she knew that much, and, of course, Neji also had to offer his two cents.

"Hinata, how would you know that?" Her cousin asked.

"W-well, um…" She stuttered and blushed, turning so red Naruto felt sorry for her.

"We're friends on social media," he said to Neji. "I'm sure she's seen some of the pics I've posted of me bein' awesome on the field. Right, Hinata?"

"U-uh, yes. That's it. It's nice to keep in touch now that you've moved away," Hinata mumbled.

"Say," Naruto said, feeling like he should save her from Neji for a while. "Would you like to see what's happenin' in the backyard with the bonfire?"

"Oh, um…" Hinata glanced at Neji as if she needed his permission or something.

But, instead of giving him a chance to discourage her, Naruto grabbed her by the arm and rushed them toward the back door that led to the deck.

"You know. You don't have to ask his permission for anything," Naruto said as he opened the door for her. "Sorry. Thought you looked like you might want some fresh air."

Hinata waited on the deck for him to close the door. It wasn't too cold out, so they'd be able to get by in their heavy sweaters for now, especially if they went to hang out by the fire.

"Thank you," Hinata said. "He doesn't mean to be rude. I think he likes you, but he's very p-protective of me is all. Don't worry."

"Of course I'm gonna worry if some guy isn't lettin' a girl do the things she wants 'cause he doesn't think she's capable." Naruto was frowning as they walked down the steps to the yard.

"That's a very mature way of looking at things," she replied. "Are you, um. Enjoying Seattle very much?"

Naruto had let go of her arm so that they were walking side by side. There was a small group gathered around the bonfire. There were a couple of free chairs, so they sat down.

"Seattle's good. I really like livin' in a city more than I thought I would. Always lots to do. Interesting people. My school's… well, it's private, so it's kinda difficult for me, heh. But a couple of friends have tutored me, and my teammates are really cool. I have a couple of good friends - " Naruto stared at the fire. "I'm… happy to be back here for a week, though. I've missed you guys."

"Even me?" Hinata asked. "But I hardly even talked to you."

"Mah well." Naruto rubbed at his nose. "You've always been nice to me. Even if you're a little quiet." He smiled. "Goin' to California might be good for you, too. Where's Shino, by the way?"

"Florida, I believe." Hinata tucked her hair behind her ear. "He has some family down there."

"Ah, okay."

"Your dad? How is he?"

"He's good." Naruto smiled at her genuinely. "Thanks for askin'. We're goin' to see mom this weekend, so that's good. Sad but good."

"H-how are you doing? It's been a year now. I'm not sure if it's something y-you want to talk about, but… I remember your mom coming to school, or when she went to your little league games. You were always on Neji's team, so…"

He lowered his head, biting his lip as his hair fell across his eyes. "Heh. I kinda love that you were able to bring it up at all. Not a lotta people will 'cause it makes them feel awkward." Naruto looked her straight in the eye. "Thank you, Hinata." He grinned. "You're really nice, aren't you?"

Hinata blushed, and he felt bad putting her on the spot. But it was… so nice.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he said.

"Oh, you didn't. I genuinely did want to know how you're doing… I… really liked when you were around, so I'm a little sad you're so far away now."

"I have to admit, I wasn't ever all that homesick until I came here, and now, you know. Seein' everyone… all havin' a good time and makin' plans. Makes me feel kinda left out."

"Is that why you want to come back here for college? But, surely you have new friends there you could go to school with, too?"

"Ah. Yeah, you'd think so." Naruto picked up a twig by his shoe and tossed it into the fire. He looked around and just now noticed everyone here seemed to be a couple. "Hey, Hinata. You're not dating anyone, are you?"

When Hinata made a strange choking noise, Naruto glanced over to make sure she was okay and not choking or something. Should he slap her on the back? He was afraid if he so much as touched her, Neji would come running out from the house with a pitchfork and crazy eyes. In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if they were being spied on from a window somewhere.

"You okay?" He asked.

"W-what made you ask that so suddenly?" Hinata stared at him with those big, icy-blue eyes of hers that must be genetic since Neji had them, too.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I noticed everyone else is paired off out here."

"W-why? Are you dating someone, Naruto?"

"Me?" He sighed. "I've dated a couple of girls since I moved, but not for long. Recently, I - " Naruto bit his tongue, shaking his head. "Nevermind."

"It's okay. You can talk to me… if you want."

She gave him such a sympathetic look that it almost made Naruto want to open up to her even though if he was suddenly like "Well, there's this boy" she'd probably have a heart attack. He was supposed to be forgetting about Sasuke, not bringing him up all the time in random conversations.

"Nah, don't worry about it. It's not a girl… I'm… havin' a fight with a close friend is all. It's still bothering me, I guess."

"A good friend?" She asked. "What are the two of you fighting about?"

"I guess you could say… a difference in ideals?" He snorted. "He's kinda stubborn. We had a fight about a month ago and haven't talked much since. When we do talk, we just end up fighting. How do girls make up with each other when they fight?"

"I don't r-really have a lot of girlfriends," she said. "Except maybe TenTen, but she's more Neji's friend than mine. I'm not sure I can be of much help."

"It surprises me a nice girl like you doesn't have more girlfriends." That sort of ticked him off. "Maybe they're jealous?"

"I think it's b-because I don't talk very much in class. I'm not a very interesting person either, so I don't always have a lot to talk about. It's my fault, really."

"Nah. That's kinda why I think goin' far away would be good for you. Maybe bein' around someone like Neji makes you not feel as confident as you would if you were out on your own, where no one really knew you from before… if that makes sense."

"Y-yes. It'd be like a fresh start. Did you feel that way when you moved?"

"Hm." Naruto rubbed his hands together, wondering if he should make them go back inside soon. "You're not too cold, are you?"

"I'm f-fine."

"Fresh start? I… to tell you the truth. I was feelin' angry that we had to move. I didn't wanna go, but then when I got there, that friend… well, I had two friends I made in the first week that I grew pretty close to. I started doin' okay in school." He scratched at his chin. "I guess in a way it was a fresh start. New scenery. Not everything reminded me of my mom. Here, everything does, so maybe stayin' here would've made me sad?"

"It makes me sad," said Hinata, "To hear that you and an important friend… you aren't speaking to him right now. You seem like you could convince someone of anything. Even a really stubborn person. You're really good with people, Naruto. I w-wish I could be more like you."

"What?" He laughed. "I've never heard anyone say anything like that. You're crazy."

"I-I'm not crazy," Hinata argued, and Naruto saw one of her fists clench at her side. "I really think you're an amazing person. Y-you should have more confidence in yourself!"

"Alright." Naruto smiled. "I will because you say so. It's nice to have a fan."

"I'm sure if you try talking to him again, when you get back home, he might be willing to listen. If he really is a friend, I mean. I hope I don't sound too presumptuous - "

"Nah." Naruto nudged her shoulder with his hand. "You've said a lot of good things. How about you? Is everything okay in the world of Hinata? Anyone givin' you a hard time that I can beat up for ya?"

"No." She smiled and, taking hold of her long hair, moved it to fall over her other shoulder. "I'm doing fine. Thank you for asking."

"Oh, see. You're not talkin' about yourself! You can do that. I'm sure there are interesting things going on. Like, what do you wanna study in California?"

"I… like design. I mean… designing clothes and making them. I enjoy drawing a lot."

"Wow, that's pretty cool. Not everybody can do that, Hinata. That's great!" Naruto's phone buzzed in his pocket, but he decided to ignore it.

"L-like you said to Neji. I also think it'd be nice to start over. Where no one knows me, and I can make my own decisions."

"You should. Definitely. I believe in you, for sure." Again, Naruto's phone buzzed. "Sorry, someone keeps textin' me. I need to make sure it's not my dad."

"No, it's n-no problem." She took hold of her arms and rubbed them, so Naruto knew he'd take her back inside soon.

He checked his phone first, expecting it to be Deidara or Kimimaro or Itachi again. They were probably getting drunk as hell right now. He knew it wouldn't be Sasuke at least.

Nope. It was from Kiba.

 _Dude, you'll never guess who just showed up. You gotta get back in here._

Naruto didn't know who that could be, but he got to his feet while putting his phone back into his pocket. He held out a hand for Hinata to take.

"It's gettin' cold. We should go back in. Kiba says there's someone who just got to the party that I'll wanna see. Any idea who it might be?"

Hinata took his hand, but only until they were both standing. Once more, they walked side by side up to the deck.

"I have no idea," she answered. "A-almost everyone from our class is here, aren't they?"

"Almost," he said, holding open the door for her. "I can only think of one or two who're missing."

"Oh, who's that?" Hinata asked.

But, as they entered the living room, Naruto knew exactly who it was. He left Hinata's side, running and leaping onto the ginger-haired teen sitting on the end of the couch. Naruto tackled him, and the both of them fell onto the carpet, plastic cups crunching underneath Naruto's back when he ended up pinned underneath the other boy.

"You asshole!" He cried, hugging him so hard he might've heard bones cracking. "What the hell are you doin' here, and why didn't you tell me you were in town, you motherfucker!"

"Naruto," greeted Gaara. "I should say the same. I only heard you were around today."

Naruto rolled them over so that he was straddling the other boy's thighs. He gave him a playful punch in the chest. "Maybe if you'd use technology like a normal person, we could keep better tabs on each other. You jackass! I'm so - so happy to see you!"

Gaara smirked. "Did you miss me?"

"Not as much as I missed your sister." Naruto smirked right back. "Where is Temari anyway?"

"I can't tell you. You know that restraining order says you need to keep at least 300 feet away."

"Ha! Why are you even in town? How long are you here for?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"A while. Some things happened, so we're temporarily in Joliet. What about you?"

"Only a week," Naruto said. "We're gonna hang out, though, right? You're not gonna disappear on me again, are you?"

"I didn't disappear," Gaara said. "I moved, and so did you. How is Seattle?"

"Wet," he answered and scrunched his nose. "Just like your - "

Gaara narrowed his eyes. "Don't even say it."

"Heh." Naruto got off of him and to his feet, holding out his hand.

Gaara took it and stood at his side. Naruto couldn't stop grinning. He caught Kiba's look, though. The brown-haired boy was watching him from the other side of the room, where he was hanging out with Hinata, whom Naruto had completely blown off! Crap! He'd have to remember to apologize later.

"Hey." Gaara hit him on the arm. "Are we drinking, or what?"

"Yeah, yeah. We're drinking." Naruto nodded and pointed toward the kitchen. "Seein' you means this night's gonna get a hell of a lot more interesting now."

"Just try not to get me into any trouble," Gaara replied, leading the way.

"Me?" Naruto scoffed. "It's always you comin' up with the crazy ideas."

"That's not at all how I remember it, Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto gave him a shove from behind. "Man, I fuckin' missed your ass."

Gaara snorted. "Be careful. You might give people the wrong idea about us."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Shut up. I'd make the best boyfriend you've ever had."

"I've never had one, so you might be right about that."

Naruto picked up a half-empty bottle of vodka and a couple of cups. He handed one to Gaara. "Give it time, babe. You're about to fall in love with me all over again."

* * *

 **TBC**

...GAARA.

Don't forget to drop a review on the way out, thanks!


	9. Act II: Live In The Moment

A/N: Updating earlier than usual just so I can annoy my future self by throwing everything off. Heh. Don't forget to review (about the chapter)! I think when I don't remind people they assume that means to... not. Not just this story, other authors' stories. Review.

Music: Listen to "Live in the Moment" by Portugal. The Man. On repeat. /cries/

* * *

 _Dedicated to netamasheep_

* * *

Strange to think it was only a week ago he'd sang alongside Rin on stage, and after getting a call from her this afternoon, Sasuke was on a bus heading downtown at her request. #Feminist and some other musicians were getting together at her place. Having no other plans, Sasuke agreed to swing by and stay for a while. Since he was asked to bring his guitar, it was sitting next to him on the adjacent seat. There were other boys his age on the bus, already loud and obnoxious for it only being 8 p.m.

Being a partial masochist, Sasuke decided to check Naruto's accounts and saw a few more photos from last night. There was a photo of him in the arms of familiar-looking ginger-haired boy. Wasn't that… Gaara? He'd seen photos in Naruto's room, but was confused as to why Naruto was with him in Joliet. Hadn't he moved? In any case, Naruto looked… happy. Gaara was grimacing; Naruto had an arm around his waist, pretending to kiss him on the cheek. There were photos of Naruto's other friend Kiba, but as the night progressed, it was mostly just pictures of Naruto and Gaara doing various things at the party.

For some reason, it made him anxious. He'd felt confident last night about Naruto not getting too out of control while away on vacation, but in the light of day, he'd grown insecure again. Actually, he felt like a creep for having texted Naruto while pretending to be his brother. He was sure Itachi found out, too, which would explain why they didn't talk very much on the drive home.

Putting an end to his cyberstalking, Sasuke fished out his earbuds and decided to listen to some music. The passengers in the front were getting on his nerves, so it would help drown them out until he arrived at his stop.

* * *

Naruto hadn't been planning to go out _every_ night, but now that he'd run into Gaara, it was easy to fall back into old habits. They'd just left the house Gaara's siblings were temporarily renting. He'd been able to see Temari and Kankurou, which was pretty cool. Naruto thought he was over his childhood crush on Gaara's older sister, but he sort of slobbered all over Temari just like he used to. What could he say? He had a thing for women who gave him a hard time.

Before leaving the house, they'd had a few drinks, minus Kankurou who'd volunteered to drive them to a house party in a crappy neighborhood near downtown Joliet.

"Hey, are you guys gonna need a ride back?" Kankurou asked.

Naruto wedged himself in between the two front seats. "If it's a problem, we can always get an Uber. Or, hey there's Kiba or Neji."

"I'd rather take an Uber before I'd call one of them," Gaara replied. "No offense."

"Heh. We'll play it by ear, but don't go too far." Naruto fell back against his seat. "Hey, can you turn this up? I like this song."

"Since when did you like punk?" Gaara asked.

He shrugged. "I've never disliked it, but I guess my musical tastes have expanded."

"Is this because of your one friend who plays in a band?" Gaara asked.

"Oh, what's this? Does Naruto have a girlfriend in a band?" Kankurou grinned at him in the rearview mirror. "That's hot. Way to go."

"It's a guy," Gaara said to his brother. "Naruto says he plays guitar."

"I guess that's cool," Kankurou remarked.

"I did see a rad girl band last week. They were _really_ good, and the lead singer gave me her number," Naruto mentioned and then felt bad he still hadn't texted her yet.

"Well, did you call her?" Kankurou asked.

"Uh, no. Things got hectic before I left, and then it felt weird to call her up only to be leavin' for a week. I didn't wanna bum her out with the details."

"She's going to think you're not interested," Kankurou lectured. "You might've missed your chance."

"You really think so?" Naruto frowned. "I mean, I guess I could text her, but I was kinda hopin' to, uh, you know… have some fun this week?"

Gaara, smirking, glanced over his shoulder to send him a smug look. "He means he wants to get lucky here, and he'd feel guilty if he called her before that."

Naruto glared and flicked him off. "Shut up, asshole."

"Why? Because I'm right?"

He smiled. "That's exactly right."

"Ah, youth," Kankurou remarked nostalgically. "I hope someone's givin' you the sex talk. You don't want any little bastard Narutos running around, do you?"

"Jesus, Kankurou," Naruto groaned. "Do you think I'm a virgin' or something? I'm not Gaara."

Gaara reached out his arm and a fisted hand. "Come here, Naruto," he threatened. "I've got something to tell you."

"If you ask nicely," Naruto said, scooting away to a safe distance. "I'll be your first time. I'll make sure to be nice and gentle, too."

Kankurou made a noise of disgust. "Could you not? I think I'm gonna throw up."

"Since when are you all homophobic?" Naruto asked. "It was just a joke."

"It's not really that, but the thought of you and my brother," said Kankurou. "Although, I have had my suspicions about the two of you. Sure would explain a lot."

"Don't be stupid," said Gaara. "Naruto and I are only friends."

Naruto laughed. "I can't believe you felt you had to explain that to him!"

Gaara shrugged. "I don't have anything against it, but I'm with Kankurou. I'd rather not have those kinds of images in my head."

"What?" He scoffed. "Now I'm just offended. I'll have you know that I get compliments on my skills, so you'd be lucky to receive a tutorial from me. Jerks. It's a _privilege_!"

"Sure, sure." Kankurou nodded. "Tell it to my sister."

"Tch. If she'd hear me out for real, I might." Naruto pouted as he stared out the window. "What's wrong with havin' a good time while I'm here? It might be nice not havin' to worry about shit."

"Oh, is there trouble in paradise back in Seattle?" Kankurou asked.

"Like it's any of your business," Naruto said.

"Fine, be that way, brat. When I'm drivin' your underage asses to some party in the ghetto."

It was Gaara who turned up the music. "Less talk," he said. "More driving, Kankurou."

* * *

When Sasuke arrived at Rin's, there were already a lot of people he didn't recognize. He wondered if she (or her parents) was well-off since it was a giant loft a mile east of the University of Washington. As far as he knew, she didn't have a roommate. He waved to a couple musicians he knew from past shows. Before he could get too far, however, he was accosted by a tiny calico kitten that circled his ankle. Sasuke wouldn't say he liked animals, but it gazed up at him pathetically and mewled. One of its ears was missing the tip, too. It mewed a second time and clutched at his pant leg. He looked around for an owner, but not seeing anybody, picked up the tiny thing and cradled it against his chest. It likely snuck in from the cold because everyone kept opening and closing the door to go out and have a smoke. After weaving through drunken party goers, Sasuke eventually found all of the #Feminist band members gathered in the kitchen. Fuu and Rin nearly tripped over themselves to give him a hug, but when he showed he'd brought an unexpected guest, became more interested in his furry stowaway than him.

"Oh my God, is he yours?" Rin gasped. "He's so tiny! I've always wanted a cat!"

"I take it it's not yours?" He asked, handing the kitten off to her, which took some doing since it dug its claws into the front of his shirt.

"No, I don't have a cat!" She and Fuu cooed over it while he dusted the hair from his coat.

"I found him in your entryway, so maybe she belongs to someone else."

"She?" Fuu repeated and flipped the kitten over. "Ah, I see. Good eye."

"Sasuke," Rin said with a big smile. "You know more about pussy than I thought you would!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Is there a place I can set my coat and guitar for now?"

"Oh, sure. In the loft. That's my bedroom, so you can put all your stuff there, and it'll be safe. Hopefully no one's using my bed. Ignore them if they are."

He watched her retrieve a carton of milk from the fridge and pour some of it into a cereal bowl. The kitten began to lap it up like it hadn't eaten anything for days. Sasuke became lost in his thoughts, almost like he was experiencing deja vu.

Rin glanced up at him. "You okay?"

"Yes." He forced a smile. "You're good with strays, huh?"

She tilted her head as if trying to understand his meaning. "I guess you could say that. Do you want me to make you a drink while you put your stuff in my room?"

"Would you mind?" His eyes wandered to the group of photos displayed on her fridge.

"Ah, those are from Rio," Rin explained. "They're my parents. They moved to Brazil around the time I started university here, but they visit sometimes. I might go down for spring break if we don't book any shows."

"No, you should go," said Fuu, who'd been busy mothering the neglected cat. "Actually, take me with you!"

Rin laughed. "Yeah, you should definitely go. Sasuke, have you ever been to Brazil?"

"I haven't," he said. "My family has plans to visit Japan this spring. My father hasn't been feeling well lately, so we might not go."

"I've wanted to go there, but I haven't had a chance. My dad hardly speaks Japanese in front of me, so I don't know it as well as I do Portuguese. You speak it fluently, though, right?"

"My brother's more fluent than me," he replied. "But, yes. I can speak it."

"Ah, I ought to have you tutor me. My dad would think that's so funny. Ah, right. What did you say you wanted to drink?" She got to her feet and washed her hands.

"Anything with vodka is fine," he replied. "Bartender's choice."

She winked at him. "You might live to regret that decision, Sasuke."

"I'll add it to my list of regrets then." He smirked. "I'll put this away. Be right back."

"Alright. We'll take care of your friend while you're gone then!"

* * *

Oh, man. It had been a while since Naruto had this much fun. He was definitely beyond tipsy and had lost track of Gaara about 20 minutes ago. So, he'd made a few new friends, including a couple of hot girls, both of whom wanted to dance with him. The music was too loud for much conversation, but he was under the impression neither was looking for one. Having gone out so much with Sai and Sasuke (two very gay guys), he'd forgotten what it was like to do things like this: hit on random girls, dance with them, and maybe make out just for fun. Not to mention it was the first time in a month he'd given himself permission to think about someone else besides Sasuke.

Naruto grabbed the bottle of beer from the girl in front of him. "Mind if I…?"

She shook her head and smiled. "Go for it."

He took a swig, growling when her fingers snuck under his shirt and she scraped her long red nails across his skin. The girl behind him slipped her arms around his waist. Then her friend took the bottle back from him and leaned in for a kiss. Naruto remembered watching her closely, noticing the sparkles in her silvery eyeshadow, the length of her thick lashes, and deep green of her eyes. She was girly and sexy in a very feminine way, which was so different from…

"Ah," gasped against her lips when the other girl bit him on the shoulder.

If this resulted in a threesome, he could easily forgive himself tomorrow. It was annoying he had to keep reminding himself that he had every right to do this and to do anything he wanted with whomever. He wasn't dating anybody, he hadn't promised anyone anything. He's the one who'd been rejected. Thank goodness his hormones were on his side. Two sets of hands continued to roam over his body. One girl was darker-skinned with light gray hair, and the other had hair as blond as his. It was getting hot in the basement, and too crowded to be comfortable. Definitely a fire hazard. The smell of pot was strong. He did think about Gaara and where he might be.

"What are you thinking about? Something dirty, I hope?" The silvery-haired girl teased while holding tight to his waist.

Naruto used his finger to trace the low neckline of her dress. "Why, are _you_?"

"You could be my type. You're very," she brushed his hair out of his eyes, which was a pretty cute gesture, "Nice to look at, I'd say."

He pulled her even closer. "I also have a great sense of humor if you're interested."

"I'm sure you have a wonderful personality," she replied dryly, winding two fingers into his hair, "But, I wouldn't mind getting to know other parts of you better?"

Naruto smirked. He could appreciate a woman who knew what she wanted.

He leaned in, speaking next to her mouth. "How are we gonna go about that?"

"There are rooms upstairs?" She suggested. "Do you want to go?"

Naruto didn't know what sort of girl signals she used, but her friend split, leaving the two of them alone. _Ah, no threesome!_ She led him by the hand, and he followed her upstairs. He didn't think it would be easy to find an empty room in such a small house, but feeling giddy (as well as drunk and horny), Naruto snapped up her wrist on a whim and firmly pressed her to the wall. They were in a dark, narrow hallway, and while he kissed her, she squeezed his ass. When he lifted her off her feet and wrapped her legs around his waist, she laughed. There were others watching, cheering them on, and slapping him on the back. After they disentangled, she dragged him further along down the hall until they found an unoccupied bedroom. Almost like it was meant to be.

* * *

Two hours later, there was a large group gathered around the kitchen table with their guitars. The girls sang, and Sasuke was happy to play accompaniment. He had his phone out on the table, next to his drink. It was surprising he was able to play without making too many mistakes.

When Rin set her hand on his shoulder, he looked up without missing a chord.

"Hey, join me outside for a smoke?" She asked.

He nodded and set his guitar aside. The others continued playing without them. Sasuke followed Rin to her bedroom, where they retrieved their coats. The calico kitten from before had fallen asleep on her covers.

"I was thinking of adopting her," Rin whispered as if afraid of waking the cat. "What do you think? It gets lonely here without a roommate."

"I would say if she doesn't belong to anybody, do as you please."

She laughed at him. "You have such a weird way of talking sometimes."

"I do?" He asked, zipping his jacket. He watched as she picked up a lighter from off the dresser. "Have you always smoked? Isn't that bad for a singer?"

"I only do it when I drink," she replied. "I know it's bad, but just this one time." Rin pressed her finger to her lips. "Let's keep it our little secret, okay?"

"Not much of a secret if they see you smoking."

"Yeah, yeah." She waved for him to follow her down the loft stairs, out to the hall and into the big room, where a group was using a hookah. He could still hear Fuu in the kitchen singing and the others playing.

"Fuu has a good voice," he remarked absently while opening the door for Rin.

"I think so, too. But, she says she gets stage fright when she sings by herself."

"It's not an easy thing to do, that's for sure." Sasuke tucked his hands into his pockets when they were outside. He hadn't thought to bring gloves since it wasn't cold when he left the house.

"You did it, and _you_ were fine."

Rin had trouble lighting her cigarette, so he took the lighter and lit it for her.

"Thanks." She smiled at him and lightly punched his shoulder. "You're so smooth, you know that? How do you not have, like, a million boyfriends by now?"

"Who said I'm interested in a boyfriend?" He asked, looking up at the sky.

"You don't want one?"

"Not being out to my family would make a relationship rather complicated." Sasuke looked at her. "Don't you think?"

"Oh." She frowned. "Is that what's going on with you and Naruto?"

"I'd rather not comment on it."

"Maybe he's not such a great guy anyway." Rin turned her head to make sure the smoke didn't hit him in the face when she blew it out. "He never called or texted. So, clearly he wasn't interested, but if you two are still - "

"We aren't," he interrupted. "Like I said, I'm not looking for a relationship, and he's out of town. Maybe you'll hear from him when he gets back. He's good at surprising people."

Rin slid closer to him while they were leaning against the side of the building. "I can't get a read on you as to whether you like this guy, and if I'd be bad friend for, you know."

Sasuke glanced at her. He could tell she was interested in knowing more about Naruto. Or, rather, that she was trying to gauge if it was okay for her to like him.

"I don't know what to tell you," he said honestly.

"Where'd he go? Family vacation?"

"He transferred here last March from Illinois. Naruto," Sasuke paused to steal the cigarette from her, "Went with his father to… take care of some family business."

"Family business?" Rin asked. "Are they in the mafia? Are his parents divorced?"

"No. His mother passed away a year ago. From what I gathered, they were going to visit her grave. To be honest, he and I haven't exactly been speaking, so I don't know more than that, Rin."

"Oh… that's… really heavy, isn't it? Sorry. I wasn't expecting that. He seemed so cheerful." She looked really sad for Naruto. "Now that I know you two are friends, is it wrong of me to say I'm curious about it? I've only had a couple of relationships with girls. I mean ones where we went out more than a few times, and finding a girl who likes girls is complicated in itself. It's been mostly musicians for me. So, I'm curious if it's any easier for guys."

"I can assure you it's not," he replied, shaking off the cigarette ashes. "Not at this age at least."

"Do you think it gets easier as we get older?"

Sasuke handed the cigarette back to her and smirked. "You tell me. Aren't you two years older?"

"Shut up. Are you trying to say I'm an old lady at 19?" She asked, nudging him in the ribs with her bony elbow.

"If you're that interested in him, he'll be back on the 26th. Maybe he'll explain things to you. I don't think I should be the one to."

"Yeah, but I don't know him. It's you I think of as a friend, so if you like him, Sasuke, I'd kind of want you to tell me so I don't get in the way of anything. Actually, since it's like this, there are a million other guys in Seattle. It doesn't have to be him."

"I have no right to tell him who he can or can't date," Sasuke replied.

"True, for all we know, maybe he's getting it on with some girl in Illinois." She huffed. "He does like girls, right? He said he did."

"Yes. Naruto very much likes women," he replied. "I don't think he's into men."

"So you're that special exception?"

Rin appeared to shiver, so Sasuke pulled up the hood of her coat.

"I don't know if Naruto would think of me that way," he replied. "Probably thinks I'm a mistake. We spoke after the show last week. Only because Yagura instigated something."

"Oh my God, what did that jerk do?"

"That doesn't matter." Sasuke stole her cigarette again. "We talked. I could tell he was still angry with me. That, and he told me as much. The next day, I stopped by his apartment - "

"You ambushed him?" She interrupted. "Yeah, you definitely have it bad."

"It wasn't meant to be an ambush. Not really," he explained. "I did want to talk to him since it felt like he was going out of his way to avoid me. Then again, I'd been avoiding him at school for a few weeks."

"Seriously?" She nudged him again. "That doesn't sound like you."

"I'm sure the me from a year ago would argue it's very much like me. Actually, how I've been acting lately feels about right. It's how I've been acting since Naruto came here that seems… _strange_."

"How so?"

He glanced at her, an eyebrow raised.

"Am I asking too many questions?"

"You are, but I'm drunk, so it's the best time to get away with it." He smiled, handing the cigarette back. "Plus, you're cute. For a girl."

"Tch." She tossed the cigarette on the ground and stamped it out with her boot. "So, you did something that upset him. I'm guessing from how you said you don't want a relationship… maybe you told him as much. Does that mean Naruto wanted one with you? But, I thought he wasn't into guys?"

Sasuke shrugged. "He apparently thought it would all magically work out if we both felt the same way."

"So you _do_ like him!" She swatted his arm. "I told you to tell me that!"

"I didn't say I felt the same," he replied.

"So, you _don't_ like him?"

Sasuke gazed up at the sky again. "What does it matter if either way, I don't want a relationship? Or, rather. I can't have one until I come out."

"Sure you can," Rin argued. "Just do it in secret."

"He doesn't want that," Sasuke replied. "Essentially that's what we'd been doing. Not a relationship, but…" He gestured vaguely.

"Oh. That's kind of sexy to think about in its own way." She grinned and even giggled.

"It makes things complicated."

"Sex always does." Rin nodded her head knowingly. "So, you two were friends with benefits, he developed feelings for you, you shot him down, but you _like_ him? Did you tell him you feel the same way but just don't want to date? Maybe he can wait until you come out to your family?"

"I don't want that." Sasuke felt his phone go off in his back pocket, but he left it alone. "I don't want him to wait on a moment I can't predict when will happen. I won't ask him to carry on a secret relationship when I know he's too honest for that. Besides, I never told him how I felt, so he thinks I've rejected him and don't have any feelings for him."

Rin was quiet after that. Sasuke checked to see what was wrong and found that there were tears falling down her cheeks.

"Rin?" He asked, unsure why she was crying.

Then, she covered her face with her hands and dropped to her feet.

"I can't - " Her voice was muffled by her hands. "That's too sad, Sasuke. How could you?" She looked up at him, her brown eyes filled with tears. "Don't you feel bad for him, that he thinks you don't love him? Maybe if you told him, he'd - "

"No." He looked down at her. "If he calls you, you don't tell him either. If he calls you at all, it means he's ready to move on, and I'd rather him do that than wait for me."

"It's like you're fine with playing the villain. What if he hates you forever? Then, what if he finds out later on that you weren't honest? I don't get it. If he likes you and is willing to date you when he doesn't even like guys - "

"Isn't that another reason to let him go?" Sasuke cut her off, unable to control the slight bit of anger in his tone. "It's already hard for me to come out. Why would I do that to him? He'd be better off with a girl. It's easier. He seems to like relationships with them, and I can't give him that. He'd be better off with you than me, so why _shouldn't_ I push him away?"

"Because you love him, man!" Rin gave him a push and then proceeded to hit him in the leg. "He loves you, and you love him, and you're going to throw it all away!"

"I don't have a choice."

"I'm gonna have to disagree with you there," she replied and got to her feet, dusting off her backside. "I feel bad for you. I really do, but the romantic in me thinks you're making a mistake. I hope you're sure, Sasuke. That this is what you really want. You might lose him forever."

"Maybe I already have."

"Or, you could call him right now. Even if you don't want a relationship, why can't you at least be friends? You rejected and ignored him. You've clearly hurt his feelings, but he seems to still care about you a lot. Aaaah! I can't take this. I'm going inside!"

Before she could go back in, he grabbed her by the arm.

"Are you really mad at me over this?" He asked.

"I'm upset and frustrated, but no I'm not mad at you. I just imagine what it would be like to be in Naruto's shoes." She shook her head. "I clearly respect your choice not to come out, that's a personal decision, for sure, but to treat someone who loves you like they're a burden… aaah. I suddenly feel like writing a sad love song, so I'm going in! Are you coming?"

"I will in a minute," he replied, slightly surprised by her emotional reaction.

It wasn't the first time she reminded him of Naruto. Sasuke wasn't the type to get worked up for all the world to see. It was easier to silently brood or hold a grudge until the end of time. It did make him worry that, if these two were to meet and go out, it could become serious. But, how could he stand in front of that when he's the one who rejected what Naruto had to offer?

When he was alone, he leaned against the cold bricks and gave it some thought. It's not as if he enjoyed the way things were going. He missed Naruto. It didn't sit well with him that Naruto hated his guts or didn't want to have anything to do with him. It's not like he enjoyed the idea of Naruto being with someone else. Hell, he could be with someone right now. And, no, he didn't want to think about it. Even though imagining Naruto with a woman was far more tolerable than imagining him with another guy. Sasuke had threatened him by boasting he should be able to move on, too. But, unlike two months ago when he'd been jealous out of his mind and slept with that DJ, he didn't feel like he wanted to do anything with anybody else. When he went to bed at night, it was Naruto he imagined. When he jerked off, it was Naruto. It was always Naruto.

But, did he want to fuck up his family to satisfy Naruto? Rather than to satisfy Naruto, did he want to fuck up his family in order to progress their relationship? No. He wasn't ready. But if he told Naruto that he loved him, Naruto would fight him on this and wait for him. That didn't set well with him either, even if Naruto agreed to it. And, wasn't it Naruto who'd be the first to say: It would happen if it was meant to be? Apparently, it _wasn't_ meant to be. At least not right now, and with the way things were going, maybe it wasn't even meant to happen in this lifetime.

* * *

"Where'd you learn to kiss like that?"

The light was on, but the bulb kept flickering, giving everything an orange glow. The room was sparsely furnished, but it did have a bed and dresser.

"Will I get slapped if I say it's from experience?" Naruto asked, his legs hanging off the side of the bed as she hopped on top of him and straddled his waist.

"I'd think you were lying if you didn't." She smiled, bending over enough that he caught a healthy glimpse of her tanned breasts, though he tried not to stare _too_ much.

He tugged at one of her earrings. "Pretty."

"Thanks." She laughed, and that was nice, too. "You're really cute, you know that?"

Naruto, wrapping an arm around her waist, pulled her down so that she lay on top of him. "I dunno how much a guy loves bein' called cute."

"What's wrong with that?" She reached in between them to undo his belt buckle. "If I didn't think you were sexy, I wouldn't be here, but you're... _you_ know?"

He moved her hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind an ear. "I don't know. What am I?"

She smiled at him as she got the buckle unfastened. "You're a nice guy. I can tell."

"Even though I'm at a party like this? Even though you don't know me?"

"That's true," she said. "You're not going to try anything weird, are you?"

"'Course not." He lay his arms out on either side of his body. "You're the one in charge _if_ you want to be."

"You really are a different kind of guy. I don't even know your name." She leaned down for another kiss, and Naruto cupped the back of her head, controlling everything about it.

"Do you want to know it?" He asked when they parted.

"I do." She undid the button to his jeans.

"Naruto," he answered, lightly grabbing the back of her bare thigh. "Your name?"

"Do you want to know it?" She replied with sass, making him chuckle.

"I do."

"It's Mabui." She lowered his zipper while staring into his eyes.

Mabui was a lot more assertive than other girls he'd been with. For the most part, he liked taking control, but he didn't mind giving it up either. He was thankful he'd had plenty of drinks earlier on, so he didn't have to do a lot of thinking. There was a strange moment of hesitation when her hand slipped into his boxers that made it hard to enjoy the initial touch of her fingers wrapping around him.

During the summer, when he'd done things with the girls he'd dated, it had been easy to think only about them because it was the right thing to do. He knew it was the first time he'd been with someone besides Sasuke in three months, but he was trying very hard to put it out of his mind. It helped that women felt and acted different than men. Still, as she began to move her hand over him - and though they shared a few slow, deep kisses - it was difficult to keep from comparing. He knew he didn't owe Sasuke anything, so it wasn't that he felt guilty, but it was like his heart wasn't in it. Naruto loved sex. He loved giving pleasure to partners, which is why going through the motions wasn't a part of his DNA. Except, here he was. Doing that. It didn't feel bad, but it just wasn't… as good.

 _Don't think about him. Don't do it. He doesn't deserve it_.

Naruto shifted underneath her, giving himself room to reach between them and cover her hand, attempting to show her how he liked it. Closing his eyes, they kissed some more, and, in the end, his brain betrayed him, conjuring up images of Sasuke in order to get into it. Out of guilt toward her, he kissed Mabui harder and abruptly sat up so that she was atop his thighs. He kept their hands moving together and wrapped his other arm around her waist. It was annoying because he'd never had problems in this area, and though he was at least half-hard, the amount of effort it was taking to stay with her in the moment was killing his sexual drive. Dammit.

If he could concentrate on her, that would be better. He was just about to flip her onto her back when the bedroom door opened. While she didn't seem to notice, Naruto held her close, about to yell at the intruder (dammit, hadn't either one of them locked the door?).

" _Naruto_ ," said Gaara, without diverting his gaze. "We need to leave."

"Uh, did you notice I'm kinda preoccupied?" He asked, and poor Mabui already looked mortified.

Gaara crossed his arms and glared. "The police are here. Let's _go_."

"Shit, are you _serious_?"

Unfortunately, Mabui forgot her hand was holding a very sensitive part of his body and accidentally squeezed.

"Ow, Jesus," he said, trying to remove her hand from off his dick.

"Oh, sorry. Oh, my God! I need to find my friend!" She scrambled off him, searching around for her purse in a panic.

Naruto quickly tucked himself in and pulled up his jeans. He hopped off the bed.

"Wait a sec," he called to her because the back of her dress was, uh, tucked into her underwear. Naruto fixed it for her and kissed her on the cheek. "Do you have a ride? A place to go?"

She seemed to calm and shook her head. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Sorry, I couldn't, um - " Mabui made a vague gesture toward his crotch.

Naruto, while scratching the back of his head, flashed her a reassuring smile. "It's fine. Nothin' I can't finish off later all by myself."

"Naruto," Gaara said again. "Now would be a good time to go before we get _arrested_."

"Yeah, yeah. I know you don't need anything else on your record, you pervert." Naruto, allowing Mabui to get out first - where she soon disappeared to the basement in search of her friend - followed Gaara out a back door that led to a rickety wooden deck.

There were already people running out into the yard from downstairs.

"Sorry to ruin whatever you had going on," Gaara said while they hurried down the stairs and nearly slipped on the wet grass.

Naruto could see the flash of patrol car lights as they shined around the sides of the house.

"It's okay," he said. "It was, uh, hard to concentrate anyway."

"Performance issues?" Gaara gave him a smug look that Naruto punched him in the arm for. Gaara immediately retaliated.

"Asshole." Naruto laughed. He was surprised to note he felt an odd relief. He'd never had to fake his way through a handjob before. "Damn, though. She was hot, right?"

"I guess."

Naruto glared at him. "Where were you anyway? You disappeared."

"I had some spare weed to sell," Gaara answered nonchalantly.

"Oh man, seriously? Are you still dealing? Shit, if we'd been caught - "

"We weren't. When did you become such a pussy, Uzumaki?"

"I'm not a pussy." Naruto stuck his tongue out. "I'd just prefer not to go to jail."

"It's not like you have it on you, so who cares?"

After running a few blocks, they stopped only for Naruto to realize he wasn't sure where they were, but at least there were streetlights and the area didn't look too unsafe.

"Why don't you call your brother?" Naruto suggested, bending over with his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

"I already did before we left the house. He'll meet us at the Marathon gas station off of Wheeler Avenue."

"Damn, that's kinda far." Naruto shivered. "It's gettin' fuckin' cold, and I don't even have a coat."

Gaara pulled out his lighter and started flicking it on and off. "You'll survive."

"So, uh. You didn't, y'know, see anything, right?" Naruto asked, bumping into his side playfully. "Nothin' you'll need a therapist for?"

"I've seen your dick before if that's what you're asking."

"Yeah, but you've never seen anyone _handling_ it," Naruto muttered.

"Thankfully."

Naruto gave him a push toward the edge of the road. All Gaara did was smirk.

"Maybe you can ask Temari to pick up where she left off," he suggested.

Naruto's face flushed. "Shut up!"

That wouldn't take nearly as much concentration to get it up properly, with or without images of Sasuke randomly appearing in his brain.

"What's wrong?" Gaara asked.

"Huh?"

"You just went all bipolar in your face. You don't like my sister anymore?"

"No, it wasn't that." Naruto shrugged his shoulders, shivering again from the cold. "I was thinkin' about somethin' else is all."

"Someone who wouldn't appreciate that handjob you were getting?"

"Er…" Naruto rubbed at his nose. "Heh."

"What? Are you screwing around on some girl you have back in Seattle?" Gaara asked as if the notion of Naruto cheating would be greatly surprising to him.

"I'm not datin' anybody," he said. "What's with that tone like you'd be offended if I was?"

Gaara gave him one of those inscrutable looks.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"You like someone."

"Huh? How can you tell?"

"So, you _do_ like someone?"

Naruto bit his lip as he stared straight ahead, not giving an answer.

"Why is it a big deal for you to say so?" Gaara asked. "It's not like I care. I'm only asking."

"Yeah, well. Tryin' to forget that I like them."

"'Them'?" Gaara sent him a curious look.

Naruto forgot how perceptive his friend could be.

"Nevermind. I'm not in the mood to talk about it right now if that's cool."

"Sure," said Gaara. "That's cool."

"By the way, do you have any of that spare weed leftover for when we get back to your place?"

"Yeah, if you have $40."

"Forty?" Naruto shouted and then lowered his voice. "Tch."

"For another $20 maybe I'll throw in a handjob."

"Alright, that's it."

Naruto lunged at him and put Gaara in a headlock for all of three seconds before the ginger-haired teen punched him in the stomach without holding back. He coughed a couple of times and let him go.

"Asshole!"

Naruto stumbled toward him and threw an arm around his shoulders.

"Shit, I missed you, Gaara. Even though our friendship is so damn abusive. You must be from where I learned to like it so rough."

"Gross."

He chuckled. "Ah, I really did miss you, you sassy, eyebrowless bastard."

* * *

Despite being invited to spend the night at Rin's, Sasuke had maxed out his tolerance for socializing by 11 p.m. He felt like walking around on his own for a while and eventually found himself on a bus headed further downtown. It was the bus he normally took when going to Naruto's apartment, so it was likely out of habit. He had no plans, no one he wanted to call, and he'd be stuck carrying around his guitar wherever he went. Considering what happened last he stayed with Yagura, Sasuke decided to take out his phone and text Jiroubou. He figured since it was starting to snow his parents wouldn't mind if he spent the night. The good thing about Jiroubou was that he, besides Kimimaro, was the most even-tempered of the bunch, and he could do without drama.

It was only a minute later that Jiroubou gave him the green light to swing by and crash on his couch. Sasuke got off at his stop. It was about a four-block walk to the apartment. For a Saturday night, there weren't a lot of people out. Talking with Rin tonight had put him in a weird mood. What would he do if Naruto came back next week and called her or asked her out? What was Naruto doing anyway? Was he angry that Sasuke hadn't called or was he used to it?

Given their conversation Sunday, it didn't seem like Naruto would want to talk. He understood why, even if a part of his brain tried to argue Naruto was overreacting. If he needed time, then that was fine, but should he assume from now on there were no ties between them? When Naruto came home, should he try to see him or talk to him? It was hard to say given that he'd never known Naruto to be cold to him. Either Naruto was finished with him, or it was his way of distancing himself because he was tired of being hurt. Both explanations were plausible. But, what did Naruto want from _him_? What, in his idiotic blond head did he fantasize Sasuke should do? Run into his arms and accept his offer of a relationship despite his own hesitations and concerns?

It was also confusing for him because Sasuke had never been in this type of situation. He didn't have close friends, he'd never dated. Naruto had lots of friends and had several relationships under his belt. Maybe he should just blame Naruto for being moronic enough to fall for him of all people. Who's to say he'd make a good boyfriend? Just look at Itachi's dysfunctional group of friends. Who was he supposed to be modeling exactly? Yahiko was the only one who'd been in a long-term relationship, but he and Konan took breaks away from each other all time. No wonder he was so screwed up when it came to romance.

His thoughts kept circuiting through the same self-deprecating loop until he arrived at Jiroubou's building. Sasuke punched the button and waited to be buzzed in, and, walking through the door, shifted his guitar so that it hung at his side when he stepped into the tiny elevator. He was still a little out of it by the time he knocked on Jiroubou's door and waited for him to answer.

The door opened, and Jiroubou greeted him by taking his guitar off his shoulder.

"You look like shit," he told Sasuke.

"Thanks?" Sasuke followed him in, shutting the door behind and locking it.

He watched as the older man leaned the guitar against the wall next to the TV, which was turned to a Discovery channel program about great white sharks.

"So, what were you out doing at this hour?" Jiroubou asked. "You didn't have a show, did you?"

Sasuke unzipped his coat. "I was visiting a friend. The lead singer of that band I played with last Saturday."

Since he was used to being here, Sasuke put his jacket away in the closet, having already left his shoes next to the mat in front of the door.

"Right, right. I saw that on your Twitter. Sorry I couldn't make it. I had a date that night."

"Oh?" Sasuke asked as he took a seat on the sofa. "You didn't mention it yesterday."

"Trying to keep it low profile." Jiroubou grabbed the remote and muted the TV. "Do you want a beer or something else to drink?"

"I'm fine. So, how was your date? Was this with Kisame again?"

"It was," Jiroubou answered. "I'd say it was good. We usually just went to his place or my place to fuck, so it's interesting we're going out to eat and talking instead of, well. I'll spare you the details."

He made a face. "Thanks, I think. But, I don't mind. Why doesn't he hang out when everybody else does is what I've always wondered. He and Itachi used to be close, but now I'm not sure they ever talk. Did something happen? My brother's never said."

The man shrugged. "Couldn't say. I'd have to ask him. He works a lot. It's tough for me to get a hold of him. I don't think it's anything personal. He's not so fond of Deidara, though. Or Hidan."

"Lots of people aren't, but Deidara's harmless. So is Hidan for the most part."

"I suppose you're right." Jiroubou gave him a long look. "How are you, though? You looked kinda out of it when I answered the door. You doin' okay?"

"How do you mean?"

"You know, with the whole Naruto thing."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Is that all anyone can bring up when I'm around?"

"Let's be honest. We all knew you were texting him last night. If that's you 'moving on', you're not doing a very good job, but no, we don't have to talk about it. I figured that's what was on your mind tonight, but if it's not, we can talk about somethin' else."

Sasuke sat back against the couch and dropped his clasped hands in his lap with a heavy sigh. "I'm tired of thinking about it. It's all people talk to me about, it's all I think about. I don't know what I want or what he wants or how to fix any of it or if I want to."

"Okay." Jiroubou nodded slowly. "Do you want to talk about it or not because you sound like you do. We can walk through it. I've known you longer than him, so I'd really like to help you if I can, Sasuke. I know what it's like to be in tough situations with men. If I can offer advice, I'll try."

"You won't repeat any of what I say to Itachi?" He asked. "Or any of the other guys?"

"No. It's between you and I," Jiroubou assured. "Scout's honor."

He tilted his head up, glancing at the ceiling, and shut his eyes. "I haven't told him how I feel. I mean, how I feel about him. He thinks I don't care, so he's set on moving on as his next step. He doesn't think of me as a friend. I'm not good at," Sasuke sighed again and, restless, leaned forward on the couch and cracked his knuckles. "I don't know how to fix it."

"Do you want to fix it?" Jiroubou kept giving him that overly-concerned look. "Do you want to be friends with Naruto?"

"How can you be friends with someone after what happened between us? I can't give him what he wants. If he can't stand being around me - "

"Did you ask?" Jiroubou interrupted. "What it is Naruto wants?"

"I know he wants an apology."

"Wait, you haven't even done that yet?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, I said I wouldn't judge. I can do this, but, Sasuke, that's where you start. With an apology."

"I should apologize for being honest?"

"He's not asking for an apology because you shot him down, is he? He's asking for an apology for the way you shot him down. We all heard about it from Itachi and Yahiko. That's not how you turn someone down, Sasuke. You know better than that."

"I was angry at the time," he replied. "It's not like I meant - " Sasuke huffed. "If he knew me at all, he should understand."

"I think he'd argue that if you knew him, you would've apologized by now because you care about him and he's your closest friend."

Sasuke glanced away and muttered, "You make it sound so easy."

"Apologizing is never easy, but it's what you do when you love someone. Or, you do it because it's the right thing to do."

"I don't think he'll give me the opportunity."

"I think he will. You just have to pick the right time to do it."

"But he gets angry with me every time we talk now. What am I supposed to do, blurt it out before he has a chance to throw a tantrum?"

Jiroubou frowned. "I'm going to be blunt, and it's not meant to hurt your feelings, but you need to care a little bit more about Naruto and his feelings than yours right now. You already made it clear you didn't want to date him. That's done. Now, what you need to do is repair your friendship. But, if you don't want to be friends with him, then I guess you let him go and give him the space he needs to get over you however he needs to do it."

"Is being with a guy always going to be this complicated?" Sasuke asked.

"Only with the ones who are worth your time and you really care about."

He nodded. "Do I… wait until he gets back?"

"A face to face apology has more meaning, but," Jiroubou rubbed at the stubble on his rounded chin. "You've really let this go on for a long time. The longer you wait, the harder it may be for him to forgive you. If it's his forgiveness you want."

"I don't know what I want."

"Do you miss him?"

"..."

Jiroubou let out a bark of laughter. "You can't even be honest with yourself, Sasuke. You're killin' me here."

"Being honest won't get us anywhere," he replied coldly. "If I was to be honest with Naruto about how I feel, it wouldn't change the situation. It may make it more difficult, especially for him."

"Him? Or do you mean it makes it more difficult for you? No matter what, you don't want to come out to your parents, isn't that right?"

He nodded. "More or less. It's my choice."

"Is Naruto pressuring you to come out?"

"Not directly, but not wanting to date me unless I do is its own type of pressure." Sasuke ruffled the hair at the back of his head, causing a piece of bang to fall over one of his eyes.

"Wait, he's tried to convince you since then despite you tellin' him you don't want to come out?" Jiroubou asked.

"...Not exactly."

"So… he's respected your decision and has withdrawn from bein' around you." The older man nodded as if he understood everything, which Sasuke knew he didn't. "Maybe you should leave him alone. When you think about it, you did a harsh thing, but you're right, you told him how you felt, and as much as I love the kid, he has to respect your decision. But…"

"What?" He asked irritably. "Going to tell me to grovel on my hands and knees?"

"My question would be: Why wouldn't you want to? The kid confessed to you, he's in love with you. Don't you feel the slightest bit sorry for him after the way you handled it?"

"I don't because I think he's going to be better off."

Jiroubou tilted his head to the side as if he were confused. "I don't understand. I hope you don't mean you pushed him away because you think you're not worthy of him?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Who knows. I don't think even I know the reason anymore."

"If you talked to him, maybe you can figure it out. Send him a text, let him know you're thinking about him. Tell him you want to meet up when he gets back, let him feel like it's on his terms."

"I… guess I could call him and… casually ask if he could fit me into his busy schedule," he commented with more than a hint of sarcasm.

"Stop makin' it about you and start making it about Naruto and what you need to say to him to keep him on as a friend. Decide if you want that and if you do, you really gotta stop fuckin' up, my man."

Jiroubou then got to his feet and rubbed at his rather robust red cheeks.

"I'm exhausted just talkin' about it," said the older man. "So, if this is all you've got goin' on in your head right now, no wonder you look exhausted. Why don't you chill out here for the night, watch some mindless TV, and sleep in. Stop thinkin' about it, and… I dunno. Bite the bullet and apologize, or move the fuck on. That's all I got, but I'm going to bed. You know where everything is, so I'll leave you to it, Sasuke." He walked over to him and set a hand on his shoulder. "In the end, I know you'll do the right thing, kiddo."

Sasuke didn't respond. He turned his gaze to the TV - still on mute - as a large shark leapt out of the water to chomp down on a sea lion. Why couldn't life be as uncomplicated as nature? Nature was harsh and terrible and cruel, but humans tried to convince themselves that they weren't animals by imposing all types of morals and ethics on one another. Good and evil were simply social constructs in his opinion. They were guidelines to live by because people were as terrified of chaos as they were each other. It was almost laughable, and yet he knew Naruto would argue the opposite. That there was glory and honor in being righteous and good.

But, is that who Sasuke was? Was he that type of person? An idealist? Hardly. Being around Naruto this long had confused him. He used to be a lot more cynical. Although, he'd prefer to call himself a realist. Weren't Naruto's ideals just a shield he wore to cope with the the bad things that happened in his life? Isn't that what any idealist did? They needed some sort of excuse, some justification for why life is innately indifferent toward anyone's feelings.

The longer he sat on the couch, the darker his thoughts became, so he got up and stripped down to his boxers. He found some sheets and blankets in a closet and haphazardly put them together on the pull-out sofa. Sasuke ended up changing the channel until, finally, he simply turned off the TV. He lay in the dark a long while, thinking but without being able to focus on one particular train of thought. There was a voice inside his head that kept telling him he hadn't done anything _that_ wrong, and yet his heart was… what did it mean if he wanted Naruto here right now? Was it because he'd become used to it and it was habit, or… did he need Naruto? How could they possibly balance a friendship after what happened? Were they even capable of being just friends? He was scared to admit that he didn't feel confident they could. It scared him more that Naruto pulling away from him meant that he didn't see it as possible either, and that idiot believed anything was possible. So, what did that mean for them and their future?

Rolling to the edge of the thin mattress, Sasuke grabbed his jeans and pulled out his phone. He checked his messages - one from Rin, another from a person he met at the party, and a third from Itachi - and then he hit the icon for his contacts, scrolling all the way to Naruto's name. It would be late there. Illinois was two hours ahead of the West Coast. Would he be out with friends, or would he be asleep? Should he send a text? Then again, if he texted, Naruto was more likely to ignore it. If he called, Naruto would answer, wouldn't he? He debated for so long his bottom lip was raw by the time he realized he'd been biting into it. His finger pressed down, and it was too late to stop the phone from ringing. If he hung up now, Naruto would think he'd chickened out, so he waited.

It rang once, twice, three times…

"Hello?"

Sasuke didn't have a response because it was a woman's voice, and she sounded annoyed at having to answer the phone.

"Is… Naruto there?" He asked.

"God, do you know what time it is? Naruto's in the shower. Do you want me take a message or could you call him back during normal hours when the rest of the world isn't sleeping?"

If he'd ever wished he could reach through a phone to strangle someone, now would be that time. Sasuke grit his teeth.

"Can you just tell him Sasuke called."

"Sasuke? Is this a friend of his in Seattle?"

"Will you give him the message or not?" He asked curtly.

" _Huh_? Not with _that_ attitude. I'm sure he'll see that you called, and if he wants to talk to you, he'll call back when he realizes he left his phone in my bed."

 _Who the hell is this?_

"Excuse me," he said nastily, wondering if this was someone Naruto had stupidly picked up at one of these dumb parties he kept going to. "But does he even know you have his phone? Did he give you permission to answer his phone while he's in the shower? Who _are_ you?"

"Maybe I'm his girlfriend, what's it to you? I can answer his phone if I want. I sure as hell know him better than you do. As for who I am, my name's Temari. Nice talking to you, Sasuke."

She hung up on him.

Temari? Who the _fuck_ was that?

In his anger and disgust, he shut off his phone and dropped it on the floor, rolling to the other side of the mattress. What the hell reason would Naruto have to let some random _bitch_ he was screwing answer his phone? If he needed a sign, this was it. He'd tried. He'd given it a shot, but having to talk to some random Midwestern slut with no manners had pushed him past his breaking point. Naruto could do what and whomever he wanted, and Sasuke _did not care_.

* * *

TBC


	10. Act II: Never Gonna Change

a/n: Sorry for the delay. If you hadn't heard already, I wrote a script for a drama CD, which is still on sale. However, if you want to avoid the international shipping cost, I have a few extra copies available. Contact me through the email listed on my profile if interested (U.S. residents only). I'll only charge cost of CD plus enough to ship USPS (28.50).

* * *

On Monday, two days before Christmas, Naruto and his dad were driving in the rental car and headed toward the Oakwood Cemetery. He stared out the window, a bouquet of various wildflowers sitting on his lap. It had snowed yesterday, so the ground was covered in a dusting of white. Absently, Naruto hummed, and, blowing hot air against the glass, traced the letter K.

"If you don't have any plans tonight," said Minato. "I thought we could do dinner somewhere. Your choice."

"I was gonna meet Kiba," he mumbled. "But not until later."

"If you want to stay longer, Naruto, I can always change your flight."

"It's fine." Naruto wiped away the sentimental doodles on the window. "I was thinkin' about somethin' else, though. If it's alright with you."

"What might that be?"

They were pulling into the entrance to the cemetery. The wrought iron gate was swung wide open, but the road leading in was already covered in muddy slush. Others had already paid their respects today, and he couldn't decide if that somehow made this less depressing. He almost wasn't able to answer, so he bit his lip, hoping it would give him time to keep his voice even.

"I, uh, was thinkin' of askin' Gaara to come back for a week. Maybe until New Year's or the day after. If he wants to, I mean."

"Gaara?" Minato repeated. His father wasn't especially fond of him, but he also had no reason to deny Naruto his request either. "His brother and sister are staying here for a while then?"

"A few months, I think, and then they're goin' to stay with some relative in Southern California."

The car moved slowly past gravestones that dated back to the 1800s. On the bigger stones, he read the names, remembering some from the last time they were here.

"If that's what you want." Minato glanced over at him. "You know I won't be around for a couple of days because of that meeting I have to go back to, right?"

"I know. It's not like we're gonna do much except sit around the apartment and play video games."

"Somehow I doubt that, but I'm sure we can get another ticket for him."

"Cool." Naruto smiled for maybe the first time today. "Thanks. I'll text 'em later and see what he thinks."

"You don't want to ask Kiba to visit?"

"I would, but I don't think the two of them get along, and I told Kiba he should come visit during their spring break. If that's okay."

"Sure. I like Kiba. He seems like a good kid," Minato added while pulling up to the plot they were visiting. Beside his mother's grave was a second plot, already paid for by his father.

Not to be morbid, but it made him think about where he would get buried some day and whether or not he wanted to be in the same place as his parents. It didn't look like there would be room.

"What happens if I die before you?" He asked, looking at his mother's snow-covered stone.

"That's not going to happen," Minato said, the skin between his brows wrinkled with concern.

"It could, and where would I go if you already have a grave next to mom?"

"In the unlikely event that would happen, well, you'd take my spot." Minato leaned over and unbuckled his belt. "You're only 17. There's no need for you to worry about things like that."

"Yeah, but mom was young, too. Why'd she have to worry about things like that?" Naruto asked, clutching at the bouquet of flowers.

"Your mother was old enough that she was able to see you grow up," said Minato. "She was happy to see you become a young man. Even though she wanted to be there for you. When you graduate from high school and college, when you get married and have kids."

"I don't even know if I want kids," he muttered. "I think it scares me that somethin' could happen to me, and they'd be alone. Or if I sucked as a dad and somethin' happened to them?"

Minato placed a hand on top of his head, ruffling his hair. "It is difficult. Worrying about your child, but you're pretty responsible for the most part. I know you won't do anything too stupid. Or, well. I at least thought so while you were hanging out with Sasuke."

"Tch." Naruto pushed his dad's hand off. "Do you have to bring him up right _now_?"

"I would think being here would make you consider how important it is to hold onto the people you care about, Naruto. Don't you think?"

Naruto gave him a scathing look and, opening the door, got out of the car. He didn't want to think about Sasuke, especially not right now. Sasuke, who had no idea about the loss of a close relative, but was already terrified of it enough to kick Naruto out of his life. But, Naruto was the one who was supposed to be the better person? Nah. No, thanks. He was tired of being the guy to fix everything that went wrong between them. Maybe if Sasuke knew what it was like, he'd be more grateful of what he did have. Then again, all the more reason for Naruto to walk away and let Sasuke do whatever he needed to do regarding his family situation. He'd been in Illinois five days already and hadn't heard from him once. Most of Sunday he'd spent recovering from a slight hangover thanks to Temari and Kankurou encouraging him to drink after that busted up party on Saturday night. He remembered passing out in Gaara's sister's bed until she kicked him out because he kept waking up to vomit into her waste basket.

It began to snow again as Naruto walked up to his mother's headstone. He wiped away the snow with his glove and crouched in front it to read her name. Gingerly, he traced the letters and dates with his fingertips.

"Hi, mom," he said, placing the bouquet in the holder next to the grave so they'd stay upright. "Brought you some flowers. Some of your favorites are in here. I asked the lady for somethin' bright and wild since it gets pretty drab here during the winter, y'know?"

Naruto could hear his dad approaching. The older man placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Kushina," he said. "We're home."

He couldn't help it. Naruto started to cry. If his dad wasn't here, he would've curled up in front of his mom and stayed there, talking to her all afternoon and telling her all about Seattle. It was weird because, almost from the day she died, he was always talking to her. Out loud or in his head, but, being here - either because he was in Joliet or because her body was buried beneath this ground - it felt like he was closer to her somehow. He almost wanted to tell his dad to go away, but it's not like he didn't know this was hard for him, too. He probably wanted his own time to talk to his wife. Naruto knew that the reason his dad threw himself into work was because it meant less time to think about mom. Whether or not being with him also made his dad feel bad, he couldn't say for sure, but he thought it sometimes. Like maybe seeing him was too hard for his dad. He didn't know, and, honestly, they hardly ever talked about her. Naruto thought about her a lot, but there were times when he didn't want to think about it, so maybe he should understand instead of getting angry. For a while, his temper had been pretty mellow, but lately, it was almost like how it was for him in the months directly after she died. Luckily, he hadn't broken any windows, though. At least not yet. He made a fist with his hand, the one he'd cut that day.

"You're not too cold, are you?" His dad asked.

"I'm fine."

"I'm going to visit a couple of other graves," said Minato. "If you'd like some time alone with your mom."

Naruto gazed up at his dad. "You don't wanna talk to her?"

"To tell you the truth," his dad smiled sadly, "I've already been here, every day since we arrived in Joliet."

"What, why didn't you take me?"

"I would've if you wanted to go," he said, "But you had plans, too, and we'd decided to come together today. You're welcome to take the car if you'd like to come back."

"Jeez, dad. You don't have to be sneaky about it." Naruto scowled. "Yeah, if you don't mind. I wouldn't mind the two of us havin' a chat like the old days if that's okay."

"Of course that's okay, Naruto." His dad gave him a pat on the head and, sticking his hands into his coat pockets, wandered away to visit whoever he needed to visit.

Naruto sat down on the snow, his legs crossed underneath him. He picked up some snow and tried to roll it into a snowball, but it wasn't anything but powder so it wouldn't pack. For a while, he traced his finger in the snow, making a variety of figure eights.

"So, uh. I guess you've seen what's happened over the past year, huh? Dad and I are in Seattle because, I dunno. I guess he thought we'd be happier there. I would've been fine here, though. It's not like I needed to get away from you to be happy or anything, and I think I would've been fine at school. It's been good hangin' out with the people here. Really, mom."

He cleared his throat, glancing over at the traffic passing over a bridge not far from the cemetery.

"I've made some friends in Seattle, too. Good friends. I guess… you'd be surprised about some of them, huh? I'm sure you know who I'm talkin' about. I hope you don't… I mean." Naruto bit his lip, his gaze falling to the ground, "I hope you're not disappointed… I don't think you would be, 'cause I know you'd want me to be happy, and I'm not sayin' I'm happy now, but, uh… The thing is, mom." Looking up, he touched his fingers to her stone. "The week before you died, we had that talk… I didn't wanna have it, but you wanted to talk about the future. What kind of girl you wanted me to date or end up with, how she should be like you… what I mean to say is… I fell in love with a boy, and I hope you don't think that's weird? That's not weird, right? He's kind of an asshole, which I know you wouldn't like, but, yeah, maybe I feel sorry for him. I'm also really mad at him right now, and I didn't mean to start talkin' about this, but I guess - dad's kinda bad at this stuff, mom." He sniffled and wiped a tear off of his cheek. "He doesn't know, though. What's to tell? I thought if Sasuke and I started datin', I would. Sometimes I think he knows, but I dunno… I guess I should ask about you? Is… Heaven cool? Is it boring? Do you hang out at the apartment sometimes? Sometimes I think you move things around, but I'm also pretty clumsy and forgetful, so it could also be that I'm the one doin' that. I guess I'm… hopeful… ah…"

Naruto pulled up the hood of his coat and, with both hands, pinched it in toward his nose so that only his eyes were visible. He cried for a little while, angry and sad because his mom was just this dumb stone now who couldn't talk back and he wanted to talk to her _so_ bad!

"Uh, what else." He gave a heavy sigh when he'd regained some composure. "My grades weren't bad last year and now they kinda suck. I have this English teacher who's a real dick to me sometimes. He kinda gets on my nerves. There's this nurse lady who's also a counselor, and I like her a lot, and her assistant. Oh, and the principal. I like Sasuke's brother a lot and his friends. I have this friend, Sai. He's a really good friend, ma. Like, he can be pretty blunt, but he always takes good care of me. I should call him tonight."

He set his elbow on his knee, cradling his cheek in his hand as he drew some more in the snow.

"There are some girls I like, too. I dated some. There's a new girl, but I haven't called her. She's got reddish hair that's not as bright as yours. She seemed kinda fun and wild, so maybe she's the kinda girl you'd want me to be with? I dunno anymore."

Naruto piled some of the snow into a small hill, trying to then form it into a pyramid before smashing it with his fist.

"I think you'd say to not worry about that stuff, though. I probably just need to be alone for a while. No reason I couldn't be friends with Rin. It's kinda weird she knows Sasuke."

When some snowflakes landed on his cheek, Naruto looked up at the sky and watched the snow fall slowly to the ground. Some of the flakes twirled as if they were dancing, which was funny because there was hardly any wind at all. A few flakes landed on his right knee.

"I guess… rather than me… would it be possible for you to watch over him? I feel like I can take care of myself even if I have my bad days, but Sasuke… I feel like no one watches over him. I mean, his brother does almost obsessively. It's just… he's hard on himself. I don't know why he's suddenly changed or what he's thinking… I know I'm the one who got the wrong idea, but… if we drift apart or whatever, it'd be nice if you were still watchin' over him. Is that okay?"

Naruto scooted a little closer, close enough that he could press both hands flat to her gravestone.

"Mom," he said, his voice cracking. "I love you. I hope you aren't sad we aren't here, but I'm comin' back. I really liked that college, and… maybe Seattle isn't the place for me? I dunno what to do. I'm… kinda tired… and… I'm getting angry again like I did after you died. Gaara's comin' back home with me. I just… feel like I need someone around. Someone I can trust, someone who knows me, but I don't… I haven't been feelin' real great lately, mom. I - it's hard. I'm not mad at you, though. I was never mad at you. In case you're worried. But… I wanna know you're watchin' me." He laughed and, his nose running, wiped at it with his glove. "Maybe not all the time 'cause I don't wanna traumatize you, but… in the general sense, heh. I'm sure you remember what it was like to be young, eh? When you and dad first met and all that."

Naruto pulled his knees to his chest, setting his chin on top of them. He wrapped his arms around himself and shut his eyes.

"It's gettin' cold. I wonder if dad's comin' back. Maybe he left me behind, too…?"

For a while, he rested his head, rocking back and humming a few lines of "House of the Rising Sun" until his dad finally returned.

"Did you two have a nice talk?" Minato asked. "We can come back again before we go home. If you'd like."

"We should come on Christmas," he replied, his face still buried in his arms. "Would it be weird to open presents here?"

"A little," Minato answered. "But we can do that if you'd like. We left most of the presents at home, but I might have one or two for you to open."

"Kinda weird not havin' a tree."

"We can get one."

Naruto lifted his head to look up at his dad. "It's okay. You don't have to try and make it feel normal or anything. I think it'd be weirder if we did that. I dunno. No offense."

Minato frowned but didn't say anything. Instead, he held out his hand for him to take. He stared it it for a few seconds before grabbing hold of it and allowing himself to be pulled up. Minato put his arm around Naruto's shoulders, and they took a few last moments to stand in front of the grave. Then they went back to the car. It was a terrible feeling to drive away from her. It sucked to know that she couldn't come with them, it sucked to know he'd never see her again, couldn't have her respond to his questions or hug him when he was sad, and it was unfair -

To get his mind off of it, he pulled out his phone, barely able to see the screen because his eyes kept watering. He texted Gaara about coming to Seattle but didn't expect a response right away since he actually had to text Kankurou since Gaara didn't have a phone.

Naruto wondered if he could handle hanging out with Kiba tonight. Kiba was an upbeat and cheerful guy, which Naruto usually liked... and it might be good for him, but not if he was going to drag Kiba down. Well, he could make a decision later but couldn't think of a decent excuse to bail. They were only going to hang out at Kiba's house and play some video games, maybe watch a movie. Kiba's mom was funny, and he also had this really hot sister who was studying to be a veterinarian at the University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana. It made him remember that one night and how he'd suggested Sasuke could go there since it's such a good school. It wasn't more than 90 minutes away. Oh well. They were on different paths now.

His dad turned on the radio to a local rock station, smack in the middle of "House of the Rising Sun." Looking out the window, Naruto smiled. Then he laughed. He rubbed at his eyes, crying while laughing. If there'd been a breakable window nearby, he would've run his fist through it.

* * *

A couple days before Christmas, the entire Uchiha family went out to a nice dinner. Afterward, Itachi took off for a party at a friend's, and Sasuke's mother wanted to make a trip to one of the outlet malls close to their house for some last-minute shopping. He was surprised his father decided to go considering he didn't like shopping or crowds. Perhaps Sasuke inherited that from him because he also would've preferred to head home. The parking lot was packed, but his father was able to find a space near the end of a row. It was lightly snowing as it had been all day. Dinner had put him in a moderately decent mood since everyone was getting along. Itachi and his father had fought twice since his brother's arrival. It wasn't atypical, but it did make everyone tense.

Sasuke, on the other hand, had spent more time with his father than usual lately. Not having any shows (and not spending his spare time with Naruto) meant they were talking more, too. Not about anything significant, but it made him feel better to see his father doing well. He looked healthier than a month ago. He laughed and smiled more. Meanwhile, Sasuke had always been close with his mother. She was kind, beautiful, generous, and patient. These, possibly, were all qualities he lacked, looks aside. He was indifferent to his physical appearance, but he knew he wasn't bad looking. If it helped him in certain situations then so be it.

While walking between his parents toward the mall entrance, he kept hearing that one woman's voice in his head. The one who'd answered Naruto's phone. Since then, he'd barely refrained from unfollowing Naruto from all of his social media. Instead, he did everything he could to avoid it: muting, blocking, whatever so long as it meant he wouldn't have to see his face or what he was up to every night in Illinois. It shouldn't surprise him if he was off having sex now.

"Did you hear what I said, Sasuke?" Mikoto asked, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what did you say, mother?"

"You've been brooding a lot. Hasn't he, dear?" She asked Fugaku.

"No more than usual, I expect," answered his father. "He is a teenager. I remember what I was thinking about at his age."

"I know it wasn't girls," said Mikoto. "You were so focused on your schoolwork. It was your parents who forced you to go on marriage interviews. I remember your mother thought you might never get married if she didn't intervene."

"I didn't see the point if I wasn't able to financially support a family yet. When I had the means, then it all ended up working out as it should." Fugaku grabbed for his wife's hand.

Sasuke, while happy his parents loved each other and were still so affectionate, always had conflicting feelings when the topic of dating, girls, and marriage came up since, inevitably, it would lead to questions about his own love life (or lack thereof).

"Sasuke's like I was at his age, although I didn't have hobbies since I had to help my father with his store. Itachi, too, has always been very focused on his studies."

"We have two very wonderful boys," Mikoto remarked.

"All thanks to you," Fugaku replied. "A mother's love has more influence than anything a father can possibly do."

Mikoto giggled. "Oh, dear. Why are you saying such nice things? It's not like we'll be going home to an empty house. Sasuke, why don't you have any plans for tonight?"

"Gross," he said. "I'm right here, mother."

"How do you think you were born?" She asked him teasingly.

"Mikoto," said Fugaku. "That's hardly appropriate to talk about in front of him."

"Sasuke's 17," she said, patting her husband on the arm. "I'm sure he knows more about all these things than we give him credit for."

"Mother," Sasuke said. "I'm thinking two glasses of wine is your limit."

"Don't be silly." Mikoto tugged at the back of his jacket. "I want you to help me pick out something for Itachi. Your father also has some secret shopping to do that he won't tell me about, so I'm afraid you're going to be stuck with me."

"Should we meet in the center court at say," Fugaku checked his watch. "Around 8.00?"

"I think we can get everything we need by then," Mikoto replied, taking Sasuke by the arm. "Are you going to buy me jewelry? Diamonds perhaps?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you," said his father. "Sasuke, take care of your mother, and make sure she doesn't go overboard."

"Yes, sir." Sasuke watched as his father waved goodbye and headed toward the opposite end of the mall.

While they strolled past the shops, his mother was smiling and making comments about the Christmas decorations and recounting the decorations as she remembered them in Japan. Sasuke liked hearing these stories. His mother always spoke of her childhood and time living Japan with such a sense of fondness that he sometimes wondered if she wanted to return.

"Mother," he said. "If the opportunity came up, would you want to move back to Japan?"

"Why do you ask?" She hugged him closer. "I like living in Seattle, don't you?"

"I do, but it's the only home I've known. You always talk as though you miss living there. That's all."

"You're such a sensitive young man," Mikoto replied. "You worry a lot about others, don't you?"

"Not especially."

She laughed. "You and Itachi are both so witty, but your older brother's sense of humor is so much more quirky, isn't it?"

"Quirky?" He repeated. "Itachi's sense of humor is very dry and sadistic if that's what you mean. Sometimes it's almost disturbing."

"Oh, I know you love him! You always have. I remember watching your chubby little baby butt as you'd chase him down the hallway without your diaper."

"Is it a mother's job to constantly remind their offspring of embarrassing moments as they get older?" He was definitely going to cut her off the next time she ordered alcohol with dinner.

"Everyone was a baby once," she said, tsking him. "You were such a _cute_ baby, too! All the ladies who saw you thought you were a girl. You had thick, dark hair and the loveliest round cheeks. Who would've guessed you'd grow up to be so handsome?"

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" He asked, though he was smiling.

"I think so. You were _cute_ as a baby, and cute as a young man."

"I'm not sure _cute_ is a term most men want to be referred to as," he replied.

"I'm your mother, I birthed you, so if I want to call you cute, I will!" She pinched his cheek much to his annoyance. "We're going in here."

Suddenly, Sasuke was dragged into a men's clothing store.

"Don't you think Itachi has plenty of clothes already?" He asked.

"I'm not shopping for Itachi. There's something in here that made me think of Naruto."

She left his side, and he was suddenly struck dumb with anger. Was she really going to buy something for Naruto despite knowing they weren't getting along, or the fact he'd even asked her to stop bringing him up? Why? What was the point? Just because Naruto didn't have a mother, didn't mean that -

 _Didn't mean that he needed to make his own mother feel obligated to treat him like a son_.

He continued browsing through the store, a scowl on his face. Most of these clothes didn't look like Naruto. More often than not, Naruto dressed casually outside of school in jeans and a t-shirt or a hoodie. Unless he was working out. With nothing else to do, he headed toward the accessories, where there was a collection of hats, including the type of beanies Naruto always wore. He took one off its display hook and glared at it. Sasuke could see him in this. Could see the way his blond bangs would poke out from underneath, and the way his blue eyes would stand out against his tan skin.

" _That's_ darling."

Sasuke blinked when he heard his mother's voice. She was standing right next to him, and he hadn't even noticed.

"That looks just like the ones Naruto wears, doesn't it? What do they call them? Beanies?"

"I have no idea." He set it back on the hook, but she picked it right back up.

"I was going to get him a scarf, but I think I should get him this, too," she insisted. "He always looks so handsome when he wears them. He's the spitting image of his father. Imagine what he'll look like when he gets older! He is going to have all the girls chasing him when he goes to college, don't you think?"

"I wouldn't know," he replied curtly.

"Sasuke," she scolded. "I know you two are having some kind of fight, but it won't last forever. How can you be so angry at him? I'm going to get this, I'll be _right_ back."

Abruptly, he grabbed her by the arm. "You don't have to do that. You don't have to try so hard just because you feel sorry for him."

"What's gotten _into_ you?" She gave him a disapproving look, but he didn't flinch.

"Don't you think it would make us both uncomfortable if you were to give him something?"

"No, I don't think that because I love Naruto, and I want to get him something special because of that, not because I feel sorry for him. Why are you being like this?"

"People can't stay friends forever," he said.

"Even if you no longer feel you're friends with him, that doesn't change how I feel about Naruto, dear. I hate to tell you this, but the world does not always revolve around you."

"But, do you have to do it while I'm here?" He asked, raising his voice (which he never did to his mother).

"I didn't think you'd act so immature about it, frankly," she replied, and removed her arm from his grip. "What exactly is going on between the two of you that you're speaking this way about someone who we all know has been the closest friend you've ever had?"

"Nothing," he said, glancing away.

"Clearly, it's not 'nothing'. If you don't want to talk about it, then okay, but don't talk poorly of him in front of me. It was just last week you brought him over to the house, didn't you? What's happened between then and now to make you act this way?"

"Maybe Naruto's not the person you think he is," Sasuke muttered.

"What do you mean?" She looked concerned as she placed a hand on her hip in typical mom fashion. "Is he in trouble? Is this something his father should know about?"

"No… it's not like that. At least not that I know of." He shook his head. "Nevermind. You wouldn't understand."

"I might if you talked to me about it. If you want to discuss this when we get home, I really think we should have a talk."

He frowned. "Fine, buy him the hat. I don't care. Spoil him. Everyone else does."

For the first time in his life, he walked away from his mother. He'd always thought, no matter anything he might do, she would always take his side. Everyone, this entire time, had been so quick to defend Naruto and get in his corner. Now, even his mother sided with him. Sasuke didn't have to explain anything to people, and they all just assumed Naruto could do no wrong.

It's not his fault Naruto took so long to realize what _his_ feelings were, and then when _he_ was ready, he just assumed Sasuke would be, too? Even knowing all this time how Sasuke felt about dating and coming out. Yet, he was the bad guy because he kept it all inside so that it wouldn't bother anyone, so that it wouldn't upset his family.

The one time he actually said how he felt, Naruto had to go and throw a fit. The blond acted like he gave a shit about him when he was really just using their fight as an excuse to go be a delinquent and fuck around in Chicago. Everyone always thought Naruto was the golden boy. Well, great. But one day, they would see Naruto had his flaws, too.

* * *

The day after Christmas, Naruto, his dad, and Gaara were boarding a flight back to Seattle. To be honest, he was fucking exhausted, not just emotionally but physically, and now he was getting on a plane again when he'd rather get punched in the balls than fly. Since the three of them weren't able to sit together, Naruto sat with Gaara while his dad sat toward the back. Being a nervous flyer, Naruto was antsy in his seat. When he was nervous, he also tended to talk a lot. He even had to grip Gaara's hand during take off. That was his least favorite part. Gaara put up with it, but he did look annoyed. Yeah, well. It was that or he barfed in a bag, so this seemed the best option for now. An hour into the flight, though, he started nodding off. That's how tired he was. Next he woke up, they were already about to start their descent. That was _really_ unusual for him. Their window shade was cracked open halfway. Gaara was next to it, Naruto in the middle, and some guy who hadn't spoken a single word the entire flight was on the aisle.

Feeling less anxious, he leaned over Gaara to look out at the clouds as they began to descend into them. This part made him nervous again because it meant more turbulence. But, it was okay. He'd had a good time in Illinois. It was nice seeing old friends and everything, but he was glad to be going home. Not to mention he'd brought Gaara along and could show off by taking him around the city. He was only sticking around until the day after New Year's.

"So," he said, poking Gaara in the arm. "Where do you wanna go first?"

"It's already late," Gaara replied. "I'm going to bed."

"Huh? Wuddaya mean you're goin' to bed? I wanna show you the city!"

"Naruto. We spent most of the past week together. You drooled on my shoulder. I let you hold my hand. I'm going to take a shower, read a book, and go to bed."

He squinted at his friend. "Are you an old man? Are you tryin' to say you're tired of me already?! We just got here!"

"You know I can only take you in spurts," Gaara said flatly. "Don't you have friends you want to see after being gone for a week? That girlfriend you cheated on maybe?"

"I don't have a _girlfriend_." He punched him in the arm. "And I didn't _cheat_ on anyone." Naruto lowered his voice. "I didn't even get to _finish_! It wouldn't count even if I did!"

"That's nothing to brag about." Gaara smirked.

"Asshole. Fine. You can crash in my room, and I'll go find somethin' to do since you're so sick of me." He stuck out his tongue. "Jerk."

"How about when you come back, I'll let you share the bed with me?"

"Really?" He started smiling. "It's 'cause you wanna cuddle, isn't it?"

"Tch. Don't confuse me with my sister, Uzumaki. Like you did this weekend."

"Oh, please." Naruto rolled his eyes. "That was one time!"

"This time you threw up in her garbage can."

"Better than in her bed," he mumbled. "I suppose I wasn't too attractive that night? She was really crabby after I got out of my shower and then kicked me out of her room."

"I wonder why. Did you think she was going to let you sleep with her in her bed?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. But she didn't need to throw my phone at me! She cracked the damn screen protector thing, so now I have to get another one."

"Better than cracking your actual screen. Or your skull." Gaara snickered.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, Chuckles. How about you blow me?"

"Nah. Go ask your girlfriend. Oh, or is it a boyfriend? You did keep saying 'them'."

"Huh?" Naruto nearly coughed on the gum he'd been chewing. "Me? With a boyfriend? That's, that's - uh... "

Gaara narrowed his eyes. "No. I'm not having this conversation right now."

"I didn't say anything!"

The ginger-haired teen went back to staring out the window. "Tell me about it tomorrow. I think I need to mentally prepare myself first. Go find someone else to entertain you tonight."

"Aw. Fine, but tomorrow you're gettin' the full tour."

"That's fine."

Naruto fidgeted in his seat, wondering if Gaara was being serious about the boyfriend comment. Even for him it was hard to tell sometimes. He started to peek around to read his expression but ended up receiving a dark glare that scared him back into his upright position. A couple of times since they'd been hanging out, Naruto had wanted to tell him about Sasuke, but couldn't bring himself to talk about their relationship in detail. He didn't want to lie about it, but he'd known Gaara so long that having that talk was going to be really awkward. Was it something they did need to talk about if they were only together a short while? What if he told Gaara, and the other boy was completely disgusted? He didn't think that would happen, but all guys reacted differently to this sort of thing. On top of that, he'd never really talked to anyone about it besides Itachi and his friends. Oh, and Rin. Hm. Now that he was home, should he consider giving her a call? Should he text her? Was she going to be pissed he hadn't contacted her in almost two weeks? Was it too much to think Sasuke might've mentioned to her he was going out of town?

Would it be weird to give her a call and see if she wanted to grab a coffee?

He wasn't sure if he should given that she was friends with Sasuke, but apparently she knew about them and still wanted him to have her number and that t-shirt. It's not like they had to go on a date. He didn't want that anyway. Even though he was mad at Sasuke for continuing to ignore him, Naruto knew he wasn't ready. He still had all these feelings for him. But they could be friends, right? She was easy to talk to and fun. The worst that could happen was for her to shoot his ass down, which she was entitled to do, and he wouldn't blame her.

However, he started to get excited at the thought of her saying yes, though. That reminded him. He had presents for the Uchiha family. Dad even got something for Sasuke, but he wondered how that was going to work. Then again, he wasn't a kid. He could stop by and drop off their gifts or have Itachi pick them up.

"Naruto?"

"Huh?" He snapped out of it when Gaara was leaning into his space. "Too close, dude!"

"You went quiet, so I was afraid you were having a panic attack. You okay?"

"Oh. Yeah. No. I'm fine. I… was thinkin' about stuff, so I forgot we were even flyin'."

"I suppose that's a good thing."

Naruto leaned over to look out the window. He could see parts of the city now. It was dark, but the sun was still fading off in the west, leaving just a trace of light. By the time they got their luggage and hopped on the train into the city, it would be past dinner, but not too late to call Rin, right? Why was he so nervous? It's not like he hadn't asked out girls before. He was good with women, and they'd already spoken before and obviously didn't hate each other, and holy shit, were his palms sweating? How old was he? Was it a sign it wasn't such a good idea?

No. He almost felt like he needed to do this. But, it was all up to her in the end. If she said no, then he'd go bug Sai or his dad, or go bum around by himself. He didn't want to go out to a club, though. He kind of just wanted to chill. Sai wouldn't want to do that, but he did want to see him soon. They'd only been able to talk a few times, not that Sai was great on the phone.

Naruto started thinking about his last phone conversation with Sasuke. Sometimes it had felt so familiar until he remembered he was pissed off at him. It figures Sasuke would act like nothing was wrong and if they talked, it'd all go back to normal and he wouldn't have to apologize. Whatever. Sasuke needed to get over himself. He couldn't even pull an apology out of his ass. Always acting like it would kill him to do it. Fine, be stubborn. Naruto had his other friends. He frowned, gripping the armrests as the plane hit the runway and bounced hard a couple of times. Who did Sasuke have, though? Who'd he been hanging out with this entire week that he hadn't bothered to call or text? There was that night he'd been hanging out with Itachi's friends but couldn't be bothered to text him even though nearly everyone else did, including Deidara, Kimimaro, and Itachi. Naruto could just picture him hiding away in a corner and brooding even though Sasuke _knew_ everyone was talking to him.

Asshole.

That settled it. Now that he could turn on his phone, he'd man up and give Rin a call while they were waiting for their luggage. He'd make himself do it. It'd be like ripping off a band-aid. That way if she turned him down in the worst way possible, he'd get on the train and nothing would've changed. But, if she said _yes_ , then that was a whole other story.

* * *

TBC


	11. Act III: Someone You'd Admire

a/n: Good news is I'm updating. Bad news is I've been creatively blocked for two months due to life stuff and this is the last of my pre-written chapters. I've been working on an interlude (Dream!Sasuke and dark!main!Naruto) as next chapter, but eh. Therefore, updating might be wonky for a while. I imagine there may be 3-4 chapters left after the interlude.

* * *

It was the day after Christmas, and Sasuke was in a foul mood. Christmas had been fine, but he'd woken up this morning with this pit in his stomach. He was frustrated, angry, and had no outlet for it all. Itachi had been getting on his nerves all day, too. He'd started talking to their mother about Naruto and how he was flying in today, so Sasuke retreated to his room where he could listen to music for a while. He was trying not to spread his bad mood around, but, for whatever reason, knowing Naruto was back made everything worse. The idea of running into him only made his anxiousness escalate. He grabbed his iPod and turned the music up even louder, hoping they'd drown out his thoughts. Since he'd been on his side with his back to the door, he nearly jumped out of skin when someone grabbed his shoulder.

"Jesus, Itachi," he shouted, ripping the earbuds out of his ear. "What do you want?"

"What was I supposed to do? You didn't answer when I knocked." He narrowed his eyes at Sasuke. "What's wrong with you lately? You're more testy than usual."

"Yeah, I wonder why."

"I don't know why since we've hardly spoken today, and yesterday you didn't seem to be in a good mood either."

"Does my bad mood truly concern you, or are you just being nosy?" He asked.

Itachi sat down on his bed without invitation. "Both. To be fair, I'm nosy because you're my little brother, and when you're in a bad mood, I do get worried. Not because I want to interfere, but because I'd like you to _not_ be in a bad mood. Do you want to go somewhere?"

"Not particularly," he replied, scowling at him for no reason.

"We could see a movie. We don't have to go downtown. I'll even go with you to your gym if you'd like. You've been cooped up in the house a lot more than normal, wouldn't you like a change of scenery, perhaps?"

Sasuke set his iPod on the side table and sighed. "I just… haven't had the energy to do anything lately."

"Mother said you were invited to a party for New Year's Eve. Will you be going to that?" Itachi asked. "I only ask because you're also welcome to hang out with us that night."

"I haven't decided," he said. "Yagura also asked if I wanted to do something. Rin doesn't get along with him, so it's one or the other."

"I've yet to meet her, but I've heard very good things about her. I wish I could've seen your show that night, or you would've taped it for me."

"I don't think so. Singing was a one-time thing, so don't get your hopes up." He was surprised he wasn't going to bring up Naruto, but he hadn't mentioned to anyone outside of the concert that night that Naruto had even showed up. They would've asked too many annoying questions.

"I've heard you sing before," Itachi said softly. "I know you did well. If you're not interested in going out, then I think I'll make other plans tonight if you don't mind."

"That's fine." He pulled at a loose string on his comforter. "What is it you're thinking of doing?"

"You're curious?" Itachi asked.

"I asked, didn't I?"

"You did. Well, I'd rather not say because I don't want to upset you." Itachi tucked a stray piece of hair behind his hair, which was pulled back into a ponytail.

"Why, what are you doing?"

"I think I'll go hang out with everyone downtown, but first I need to drop by Naruto's." Itachi paused because Sasuke was most certainly making an unpleasant face. "Anyway. He wanted to know if I was in the area, could I pick something up before he heads out for the night."

"Heads out where?" Sasuke asked. "What are you picking up?"

"Presents," Itachi asked simply. "He says he has presents for the family. But, whatever will you do with the piece of coal he's going to give you?"

"Hilarious," he remarked. "Are you his errand boy now?"

"Now that you've given up the job, I suppose so. I volunteered, so no need to get your panties in a twist, Sasuke- _chan_. As for your other question, he only told me he was going to meet someone somewhere. Apparently he's brought a friend from home, but he didn't want to go out to tour the city tonight. Can you imagine that? Coming all this way and not wanting to go out? Is it possible to get jetlagged while flying Chicago to Seattle?"

"I'm sure it would be if you'd just spent the last week with Naruto," he replied sourly. "Fine. Do whatever you want. But could you stop mentioning him around me from now on?"

"I did try. You kept being nosy." Itachi smirked. "What if he's bought you a present?"

"Burn it," Sasuke said.

"I won't. What about you, do you have anything you'd like me to pass off to him?" Itachi asked.

Sasuke glared.

"I'll take that as a no." Itachi got to his feet. "If you change your mind, I'll be out and around. Otherwise, enjoy your night of sulking in your room."

"I will. Enjoy meeting with your underage boyfriend."

"I will," Itachi replied with a smile. "If I find out where he's going, are you sure you wouldn't like me to text you the details? You could accidentally run into him somewhere?"

"No. Knowing him he's going to meet Sai somewhere. Not that I care."

"Of course you don't," said his brother. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Let's try to spend some time together before I have to go back. Or, think about visiting me sometime soon. I think you could use a vacation."

"I'm on vacation right now." Sasuke frowned. "Which is why I'm enjoying lying around and doing nothing for once."

"I see." Itachi nodded. "Have a good night, Sasuke. Your brother loves you."

Sasuke picked up a pen from the side table and threw it at him. "Get out. Traitor."

"Oh, I'm a traitor for going to see Naruto?" Itachi asked, his hand on the doorknob. "Do I have to pick sides in this situation? It seemed to me you were happy texting him as me the other night."

"I was drunk," he lied. "I won't be making the same mistake ever again. Maybe Naruto's not as innocent in this situation as you make him out to be."

Itachi turned toward him again as if the comment had caught his interest. "These are interesting allegations. What do you mean by that exactly?"

"Wouldn't this all be over if Naruto already screwed around with someone else? Or began dating someone here? At what point do I stop being the bad guy?"

Itachi walked toward the bed. "Do you really believe this situation to be about who's bad or good, or who's right or wrong?"

"Isn't it?" He asked. "You and Yahiko and everyone else gave me a hard time over it, so clearly you thought I was in the wrong."

"You were in the wrong for the way you acted, not for your decision, although I don't understand that either since I happen to know you've been in love with Naruto since day one."

"You have no proof of that - "

"I don't need proof to know how you feel about Naruto, and clearly we know how he felt about you."

"'Felt'? Exactly," said Sasuke. "That was over a month ago. He's over it by now, and now he's just dragging it out so he can feel better about being rejected by me."

"Ah, yes. That sounds so much like Naruto. It doesn't sound at all as if you're making excuses for why you're feeling frustrated. Why? Because he was your best friend. Your only friend, Sasuke. Besides myself, of course. I know you're not asking for my advice, and I promise not to bring it up anymore after tonight, but you'll eventually want closure with this. I really do think Naruto wants to hear certain things from you so that he can have closure, too."

"What things?" Sasuke asked.

" _You_ know."

"I'm tired of talking about this." He lay down on the bed and covered his eyes. "You better hurry, or he'll get mad at you for being late."

"I haven't called him yet to let him know I'm coming. I did ask you if you wanted to spend time with me first. Since you do not, I'll say hi to him and then be on my way. Unlike you, he has plans and is able to continue on with his life even without you around."

That stung. He knew his brother didn't mean it that way, and yet those were the exact thoughts he'd been having since the night he and his parents went to the mall. Or, really since the night he'd stupidly called Naruto thinking they could finally talk about some things.

"Sasuke?" Itachi asked. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just meant that even if you're upset, you should still go out and try to - "

"Enough," he said. "Please just go. You're making it worse, Itachi." Sasuke rolled onto his side, facing the bookshelf, his back to his brother.

Itachi didn't say anything further, but Sasuke heard him open and close the bedroom door. Everything was back to normal for everyone else, or maybe it'd always been that way. Naruto was home, and just like that, Itachi was going to go hang out with him. Naruto'd bought presents for _his_ family because he never in his life had understood the the concept of shame and how to FEEL IT. Sasuke felt shame, for being the kind of idiot who would fall for someone like Naruto.

Then for being the type of person who couldn't _fucking_ get over it.

At least he could laugh about Naruto's hillbilly friend he'd dragged over here not wanting to hang out with him. Maybe he and this visiting friend had something in common. Assuming it was a guy, Sasuke ought to bump into them and screw him in front of Naruto.

Or, he should just forget about all of it, pretend the last 10 months had never happened, and, next semester, continue to act as if Naruto Uzumaki didn't exist.

* * *

Naruto was on the bus headed uptown toward the University of Washington area. He had his earbuds in, lost in thought, having just seen Itachi all of 10 minutes ago. It was weird how much he'd missed talked about Christmas, and Naruto mentioned some of the stuff he'd been up to (leaving out the part about the police raid on that party). They'd met in the lobby since he was already on his way to Rin's. He was surprised she'd answered when he called from the luggage carousel. After he explained why he hadn't called her up until then, he'd asked if she wanted to grab a coffee downtown or wherever was convenient, but she ended up inviting him to her apartment, which was great until he realized most of his adrenaline had come from the plane ride, so once he got to the apartment, he kind of wanted to crash alongside Gaara. Then, when Itachi agreed to come by at the last minute to pick up the gifts, it was just… even more emotionally overwhelming when he was already so drained?

Seeing Itachi made him think about Sasuke, of course, but he was afraid to ask what Sasuke was up to. Naruto didn't want to know why he hadn't heard from him at all this past week, not even a text on Christmas. Itachi didn't mention him other than to say Sasuke would be staying in for the evening. He _did_ ask Naruto who he was going to see, but for various reasons, he kept his answer vague, not wanting to cause drama between Sasuke and Rin if he could help it.

So, now that he was on the bus, he had time to reflect on this last week, last month, last year. He closed his eyes, indulging in some old alternative music that made him think of his younger years, like when he was 11 or 12. Weezer's "In the Garage" was playing. He used to have one of their posters on his bedroom wall. He wondered how likely it was he'd see Sasuke before break was over. He'd have Gaara for a week, so they'd be off doing touristy things. Although, Gaara was low-maintenance. What was funny about him is that he didn't have a problem telling Naruto the God's honest truth, including when he was tired of him. If he'd come back alone, it might've been a bummer what with his dad taking off again. There was always Sai, but Naruto felt like he took advantage of him sometimes. Like Sai might start to think they were only hanging out more because he wasn't hanging out with Sasuke.

While the bus passed by the university's campus, he started to get anxious. Would he and Rin get along like they did before? Would they have things to talk about? He thought so since he always had plenty of to say and was decent at small talk. She seemed as talkative as him, and she was the singer of a band. Clearly she was going to be an interesting person. Naruto checked his phone to make sure he was getting off at the right stop. He'd have to walk a ways to get to her place. Five minutes later, he hopped off the bus and began following the directions on his app. He didn't come out this way that often, but the bus he usually rode to Sasuke's went through this area. Naruto stuck his hands inside his coat pockets. It wasn't too cold, at least not compared to Chicago. The winters were far more mild here. He crossed paths with an older woman walking a wheezing pug that was wearing a Christmas sweater. They ended up striking up a brief conversation, which led to her pointing to where he needed to go (even though he already knew), but he loved when little old ladies were helpful. When he was a block away, he sent Rin a text to let her know he was at the front entrance to her building. The neighborhood looked upscale. He didn't wait long at the door, and when Rin popped out in a flour-covered apron, bright tights, and a short skirt that looked like a tutu, he thought he was going to die.

"See, I _told_ you I was feeling domestic," she chirped, smiling at him. "There's a marathon on right now of a baking show I love, so I felt like baking cookies. Hi, by the way."

Naruto let out a laugh. "I mean… it's cute. It's a great look. You ought to wear it on stage. Is it too much to ask for a twirl?"

"It's never too much to ask for a twirl," she replied, and as Naruto held the door open for her, she did a little twirl, which was far more than he deserved. "Good?"

"Very good." He laughed again. "Did you have a good Christmas? Unless that's not a thing you celebrate, then ignore my ignorance, please."

"No, I do, but it was fine. Low-key. I hung out with some friends since my family doesn't live here, but I Skyped with them last night, so no big deal. What about you?"

"It was good. My dad and I went out to dinner and only opened a couple of presents. We're gonna open more tomorrow. Tonight he kinda crashed. I also brought a friend with me, but he didn't wanna play tourist tonight, so I just kind of… took a shot you'd wanna grab a coffee."

"Yes, yes. Grabbing coffee is very neutral, but I have coffee here, and I was really into this show, so I thought we could talk and chill for a while. That's cool you brought a friend back with you. By the way, do you want to come in, or should we stand out here all night talking?"

"No, yeah, we can go in. You don't even have a coat, but are you sure it's okay to let me in?"

"Only suspicious people say that," Rin scolded, smacking his arm. "Don't say that to a girl!"

"Well, sorry! I wanted you to feel safe and stuff," he argued. I'm practically a stranger."

"Yeah, but we have mutual friends - " She paused for a second, and he raised an eyebrow.

"It's okay. I know what you mean," he said. "I'm sure Sasuke can vouch for me. Maybe. I can only imagine what he might say when I think about it."

"Yes, well. We can talk about that, too." She grabbed Naruto by the hand and led him inside a hall where there were some mailboxes. There was an elevator, but they went up the stairs, which was only a flew flights, and they talked the entire way up. It was like they'd picked up from their last conversation at the concert. So much for worrying about whether they'd click.

As soon as Rin opened the door to her loft, they were immediately accosted by the tiniest, fucking _cutest_ calico kitten in the world. It attacked the laces on his boots and then his pant leg.

"Holy shit," he said. "Is there anything cuter in this universe?"

"Ugh, she is such a little flirt, ignore her. She's my new addition. I hope you're not allergic."

"I'm not." Naruto scooped up the tiny thing and held it in the air. "You know, there's this record store in Ballard, and the older lady who runs it lets her cats run all over the place."

"Oh, is that the one Sasuke goes to?" Rin asked.

"Ah, yeah. I guess he's the one who introduced me to it. It has these British phone booths in the basement where you can listen to stuff. I love it." He held the kitten close to his face. Its eyes were blue. "Does it have a name? Ah, you said it's a girl?"

"Yep. I decided to call her Yoko."

"Yoko?" Naruto cradled her to his chest. "After Yoko Ono?"

"Is there any other?" She asked. "I found it funny."

"Ah, you consider the split up of the greatest band in the history of mankind to be funny?"

"Oh _right_ , like a single Japanese woman could truly tear apart the Beatles. I blame Paul more than I blame John," she remarked passionately while setting a hand on her hip.

"Yeah, that's usually how I feel about any Beatles argument. I'm not sure I could blame John for anything. I hear there's a tour you can take in Liverpool and see all the houses they grew up in."

"I've heard about that. I went to London once, but we didn't stray too far from the city."

"Aw, man. I'd love to go to Europe some day," he said and set the cat on the floor. Apparently she didn't like that, though, because she tried to claw her way back up his leg.

"I think she likes you," Rin said, giggling. "You really are a ladykiller, huh?"

"Heh" He scratched the back of his head. "I see you've finally accepted I like girls. Last we talked, you were rather insistent on me havin' a boyfriend if I remember right."

"Yeah, but it was a joke at the time. Sort of." She threw her hands in the air. "I didn't expect it to be Sasuke Uchiha of all people you were talking about, you know?!"

Naruto cleared his throat, and since the kitten kept mewling at him, he picked her up again by the scruff and stared her down. "What is _up_ with you, Yoko?" He cradled her against his chest to stop her crying. "Well, I hate to disappoint you, but Sasuke isn't and has never been my boyfriend. I'm sure he told you as much. If he even acknowledged knowin' me at all."

Rin tilted her head, and he could tell that they'd definitely spoken of him.

"Say it," he said. "Whatever's on your mind. I can take it."

"You didn't tell him you were coming here, did you?" She asked.

"No, why? Should I have? We aren't really on speakin' terms."

"I've heard." She took a step closer and scratched behind Yoko's ears while he held her. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like I should say this upfront."

"I won't," he said. "Shoot."

"When you and I met at the show, I thought I'd get to talk to you afterward. I was ready to come and find you and ask if you wanted to hang out with us, but it didn't take Sasuke long to figure out it was you I'd met, and I know it's a crazy coincidence, but…"

He watched her face closely, able to tell she was uncomfortable about something (probably his relationship to Sasuke and her friendship with him), so he waited patiently.

"Go on," he encouraged her. "I'm all for honesty, and I figured this would come up"

She nodded, but was playing with the front of her apron. "I respect Sasuke, and I consider him a friend, so… I just, you know… I like you, and I think you're really cute, but you two seem to have some unresolved stuff to work out. So, I don't want to give you the wrong idea. I don't feel right bringing it up, and I _know_ I asked you here, but I thought we could start with - "

"Being friends?" He finished.

She appeared relieved that he understood. " _Yes_. Is that _okay_? I don't want to get between the two of you - "

"You mean like Yoko here?" He asked.

Rin rolled her eyes. "No, I definitely don't want to do that, but I - " She sighed. "I have to go check on my cookies, want to join me in the kitchen?"

"Hell, yeah. I love cookies. What kind?" He followed her into the kitchen while the kitten continued to keep her death grip on his coat.

"Chocolate chip." Rin answered. "I know it's boring, but I had chocolate chips in my cabinet, and I wanted something sweet. Have you ever watched _The Great British Baking Show_?"

"I can't say I have." Naruto watched as she put on an oven mitt and removed a tray of lightly-browned cookies and set it on the stovetop.

"It's so much fun," she said, picking up a nearby metal spatula to move the cookies from the tray to a rack onto the counter. "It makes me wish I could bake, but I'm limited to store bought brownie mixes and simple cookie recipes. I was sort of tired from the holidays, so I wanted to relax today. It's bad for my voice, too, if I do too much. I had a couple of parties this past week, and I'm planning on having another one for New Year's, which you're totally invited to."

"Me? Already earning an invite to one of your parties?" He asked. "I'm touched."

"If you want, I'd love for you to come. You can bring your friend. It's mostly musicians. I suppose I should let you know that I invited Sasuke, but he acted like he had other plans."

"...Ah, well. I don't wanna be that guy, but it could get awkward."

"I've decided to try to stay out of the situation, but if there's anything I can do to help, I really would like to," she said, handing him one of her warm cookies.

Naruto took it. "I assume he's already talked to you about stuff?"

She didn't say anything, but he could tell by her silence that he had.

"Like how I confessed to him and he shot me down?" He asked.

"Not in a lot of detail, but yeah, I do know the general circumstances."

He took a bite of the cookie. "Mm. It's good. Like my mom used to make."

"Do you want some milk, too? It's skim." She was already headed to the refrigerator. "Is that okay?"

"Aaaah, skim?" He made a face. "Yeah, I can probably handle it."

She got them both a glass of milk and sat at the table with him. He was finally able to get the kitten to retract her claws long enough to set her on the floor. Naruto took off his coat, too, and set it on the back of his chair. They started devouring Rin's tray of cookies together.

"I'm touched that you called me as soon as you landed," said Rin. "Almost makes up for you ditching me last week. I didn't think you would ever call, but Sasuke said you were away."

"I wanted to. To tell you the truth, your number smeared that night, and I had to ask Sasuke for it."

"You did not!" Rin looked scandalized as she threw a crumb at him. "You asked _your_ boyfriend for my number? That's terrible. Maybe he _should_ be mad at you?"

"Tch, why?" Naruto picked up his glass of (yuck) skim milk. "Do you know where he went after your show that night? With fuckin' Yagura. God, I hate that guy. He's such a psycho."

"I don't like him either, he gives me creeper vibes." Rin tucked her hair behind an ear, and they both smiled at one another.

"At least we have that in common," he said.

"If you were able to ask Sasuke for my number, I guess that means you've spoken to him recently? I mean, since the concert. It was Yagura who told him you were there. I didn't mention your name at the time. It didn't occur to me the friend you were talking about was Sasuke."

"I figured," he said, offering a slight shrug. "I didn't know he was gonna be there the night of the show. Never seen him sing on stage in my life. He barely sings in front of me. Or, _did_ sing. He never sang in front of me when we were friends, I should say."

Rin frowned. "You've already moved on to talking about him in the past tense?"

He grabbed for another cookie since they were really good. "What else is there to do? I didn't hear from him at all while I was out of town, and not that I wanna run my mouth about him, but I told the guy I loved him, and he straight up ignored me for the next few weeks because of it."

She reached over and pat him on the arm. "I kind of heard, sorry. He was over for one of those parties, and we did sort of talk about you a lot, which is why I'm hesitant to, um, pursue you?"

"Pursue me?" He repeated. "That's so forward, and such a cute way of puttin' it. I love it."

"Shut up. Now you're just teasing me. For that, I'm taking the last cookie."

He pushed the plate closer to her. "Fair enough, you were the chef."

"Can I tell you my honest thoughts on the situation?" Rin asked.

"Yeah, I told you I liked honesty, and I knew comin' here that we'd have to talk about it."

"Okay." Rin nodded. "I'm just going to say it then, but it's only my opinion. I think he does have feelings for you. So, the reason I'm uncomfortable about the two of us starting anything, or, you know, seeing each other behind his back… I think you need to try talking to him first."

This comment from her was extremely surprising and only served to make him curious. It was odd to imagine a Sasuke who opens his mouth and talks about personal business. Did he say something to her about his feelings? That didn't sound like Sasuke. She did say it was only her opinion, but he supposed even someone like Sasuke would need to vent. He didn't want to grill her about what he said, though. If Sasuke had something to say to him or about him, then he could say it to his face.

"You're not going to ask me about it? Not that I could tell you anything he said." She finished her milk. "For the record, I don't feel stuck in the middle. I'm actually kind of rooting for the two of you. Besides, would you even want to date a singer of a band? Or, are you more of a bassist kinda guy?"

He raised an eyebrow, knowing she meant Sasuke. In the end, she was right. He probably did have stuff to work out with him before he'd consider dating Rin. To tell the truth, he wasn't even interested in dating at all, but he'd come here for… what? Comfort?

"Are you askin' if I'm interested in Fuu?" He teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Rin smiled at him. "She _is_ pretty cute, but she definitely only likes women."

Naruto smirked. "You know this because…?"

"Oh, gross." She threw another crumb at him. " _Yes_ , I've made out with her, but is that _all_ guys can think about when they're told a girl is bisexual?"

"Most straight guys, yeah. I think so. Bi guys, too, probably?"

"You don't consider yourself bi then?" She asked. "Just… Sasuke-sexual?"

He barked out a laugh. "Sasuke-sexual? Hm. I dunno. How do you know when you're bi? Am I bi 'cause I've been with one guy? Even if I'm not attracted to other guys? Believe me, I tested it out to be sure I was into Sasuke romantically or into guys in general. Spoiler, I found out I'm not gay. It's really just him. But, he turned me down. So. There you go."

"If you were fooling around with him before you confessed, weren't you already interested in Sasuke that way?" Rin set her elbow on the table, and leaned her cheek on her palm.

"Ah. You realize I've talked about this with, like, no one, right? Except Sasuke's brother. But, like I'd go into detail with him about what Sasuke and I've done," he said sarcastically.

"I understand. I'm not trying to label you like some people might, just trying to figure out how it works. I've definitely always felt attracted to girls _and_ guys. Like, I've always looked at girls and wanted to kiss or touch them like I do with guys? I've been with both - "

He must've made a face.

Rin punched him in the arm. "Could you _please_ stop picturing me with other women while I'm talking to you? What if while we talked I was imagining you making out with Sasuke?"

"I guess if that's what you're into," he said. "Is that somethin' girls really like?"

"Yes, definitely," she replied so emphatically it surprised him. "Don't you ever use the internet?"

"Not for those purposes apparently, but I guess it makes sense. If guys watch lesbian porn, women could watch gay porn. Even I've watched gay porn, but it was to - "

He stopped when he realized what he was about to confess.

"Not going to finish what you were getting ready to say?" She asked, laughing at him.

His cheeks flushing, he glanced away for a second. "Well, I mean. I only watched it for tips. To, uh… figure out stuff he might like."

"Uh huh."

When he looked at her again, her eyes were bright, but she seemed uncertain. If they'd known each other better, he might've asked if she was jealous? Then again, maybe she was picturing what she thought he and Sasuke got up to in the bedroom. Since girls were into that apparently.

Rin cleared her throat. "So, back to what we were talking about. You are only attracted to Sasuke, otherwise you're generally always attracted to women?"

"Yeah, that's how it feels to me. And Sasuke turned me down, so I guess I'm back to bein' full blown straight? Not sure how it works. I've missed out on all of the meetings, I guess."

Rin bit into her bottom lip as she traced a circle on the table with her finger. "The night of the party, when Sasuke was here, maybe it's because we'd been drinking, but he was surprisingly candid when I asked him about things. You know. Liking other boys. For someone who doesn't want to come out to their family, he seems comfortable with who he is. Plenty of my gay friends haven't told their families yet. I've seen situations where the family was fine with it, and then I've seen situations where they've been physically hurt by their own family or disowned. I don't know much about his family. What do you think? Would he be safe if he came out?"

"Sasuke's family?" Naruto tapped the side of his glass. "He's got an older brother who knows. His brother's friends also know 'cause a lot of them are gay or bi. Sometimes I think his mom knows… his dad definitely does _not_ know and has proven to be kinda, uh, homophobic."

Rin looked concerned. "Do you think he'd do anything bad to Sasuke if he came out?"

Naruto, who had his hands clasped on the table, started cracking his knuckles. "I don't know what he'd do, but I know Itachi and Sasuke's mom wouldn't allow anything bad to happen to him. Do I think his dad would take it well? No, not really. Not at first. I don't see him kickin' Sasuke out, or hitting him, but to tell you the truth, I can't say for sure. He's reluctant 'cause he's afraid of what it'll do to his family. Part of the reason Sasuke flipped out was 'cause his dad got really sick on the morning after I confessed to him. I was, uh, actually sharing a bed with him. I got up to go to the bathroom, found out they'd taken his dad to a hospital, and they didn't want Sasuke to know, but I thought he should. He got really pissed and wouldn't let me drive him to the hospital, so he went himself, and when he came back, he was like a whole other person. He said a lot of things that didn't make me feel so great and said it would never happen between us. Then, when we were back at school the next day, he ignored me. It went on like that for weeks, and the first time I really spoke to him was after your show. All because Yagura kind of… anyway. Point is _I_ had to call Sasuke. We talked. I told him some things that were on my mind. He stopped by my apartment the next day, and wanted me to go home with him to see his mom. I'm only _half_ sure it was meant be a thoughtful gesture on his part. We fought _again_ , and since then, haven't spoken to him at all, but he knows I'm home 'cause I saw his brother tonight."

"Wow, that really does sound intense," said Rin. "Should I offer you a drink? Something stronger than milk? Hearing your side of it definitely helps me put more of the pieces together."

"Heh, no. To be honest, I'm kinda wasted from travelin'. I'm not a good flier, so it wipes me out."

"You should've told me you were tired! Now, I feel bad!" She exclaimed and actually sounded mad at him. "You didn't have to come all the way up here when you just got back!"

"Nah, it's cool," he said, touched that she even cared. "I wanted to make it up to you for not callin'. The reason I didn't call… it wasn't about Sasuke, it was more 'cause I was goin' to Illinois for a week. Why I went is kinda personal. It's not somethin' I wanna bring up over cookies, so we can talk about it another time. If you want. I mean, if you wanna hang out again."

"Of course I do," she said. "That's why I invited you to the New Year's party. I know you're tired, and I know we're getting to know each other, so there's no reason to jump into heavy topics. So, what do you think, do you wanna watch the rest of my baking show with me?" Rin got to her feet and began picking up their plates and glasses. "It'll be like a girl's night in. Just you and me. I can even paint your nails if you'd like."

Naruto grinned, checking out his nails and giving it some thought. "Heh. I don't hate the idea, but can we do black? Like musicians do? I might be able to pull that off better than pink."

"You're serious?" She walked over to him and grabbed his hand. "I was kidding, but now I _definitely_ want to paint your nails. Ah, I'd have to file them, but you have nice nail beds."

"Thank you?" He'd never been told that before.

"They look like little half moons," she said. "See?" Rin held his own fingers up for him to see, her thumb pressing into his palm, which he hoped wasn't too sweaty.

When they shared a look, it was… not what he'd call "friendly", but he didn't comment on it. She immediately dropped his hand afterward, so he'd say she felt it, too.

"This… are you sure this isn't too weird for you?" Rin asked, appearing anxious now. "I hope you don't think I'm a tease. If things were different, you know, with Sasuke - "

"It's fine." He tried to flash a reassuring smile. Naruto didn't think she, in any way, needed to explain to him her desire to be just friends. "I feel bad for you 'cause you're kind of stuck between us, and I don't wanna be unfair to you either. I guess…. I don't wanna lead you on, if maybe, possibly… I _do_ still have feelings for Sasuke. Because… yeah, I do."

"Ah, you went and said it." She removed her hand from his. "I knew that. I'm glad you told me. But, I imagine it's pretty hard on you? To not have the closure you want?"

"Unrequited love always is hard," he said, meaning it to be a joke.

It left him thinking and wondering about Sasuke again. What should he do? What was there to talk about? How many times did he need to be rejected by him before he got the hint? It was weird, though. Because he did feel attracted to Rin, as he would any girl he liked. He'd felt attracted to the girl at that party, too. Naruto guessed it was easier for guys to let their hormones drive them, even if they were in love with someone else. He would never cheat on a significant other. He wasn't with Sasuke, so why did he keep feeling guilty about stuff? He wasn't doing anything wrong, hadn't planned to do anything with Rin, and he knew he had every right to move on. Maybe even Sasuke might be better off if he saw Naruto with someone else. If Naruto's feelings were a burden that is. But, Rin had hinted Sasuke might have other reasons for being cold.

He just didn't know anymore.

"You okay?" Rin asked. "You look sad."

"It's nothing." He smiled to show it wasn't worth worrying over. "Wanna go watch your show?"

"Yeah. If that's not too boring for you? I only have a TV in my bedroom."

"I'll try not to get any ideas," he said.

Before they went to Rin's room, Naruto got up and helped her with the dishes, and as he was drying the mixing bowl, Yoko began pawing at his leg again.

"You never did say, did you adopt Yoko, or where did you get her?" He asked Rin.

"Actually, it was Sasuke who found her. She stumbled in from the cold. I guess because people kept opening and closing that front door the night of the party."

"Sasuke did?" It was surprising to hear since he'd never known Sasuke to be an animal lover. "So, Sasuke actually took pity on a stray kitten and brought him into your apartment?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" Rin inquired before squirting some more dish soap into the water. "It was interesting at the time because he asked me an odd question, like: 'So, you're into strays'? He said it with such a serious expression. I thought there was some hidden meaning behind it, but I don't think so. Does he ever say cryptic things around you and not explain?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, not really, but he does say some weird shit on occasion. The guy's popular, but when he's socializing with people, uh, especially peers, he's just, I dunno. Awkward sometimes."

"Hm, really? He's so good with musicians, though," Rin commented thoughtfully. "He took really good care of me that night."

"When it comes to musicians, yeah. If they're talented, he treats them like Gods."

Rin laughed. "Do I detect a hint of jealousy? Maybe he should go into business music or music management. They have those courses at my university. I hope he considers applying."

Naruto kept his eyes down. "Well, I'm sure you have his ear when you want it, so you can let him know."

"Ah." Rin grabbed his arm. "Sorry, I didn't mean - "

He glanced at her, smiling. "It's fine. I'm glad you can be a friend to him."

"But I'm hoping maybe we can be friends, too?"

"Of course we can be friends. I didn't come here with any other intention. I was in a weird mood on the bus ride up here, but you've already made me feel better."

"Because I've made you help me with dishes?" She asked, looking so pretty right then, he was almost mad at himself for not being more decisive in life.

"You aren't makin' me do anything," Naruto told her. "I volunteered to help. Gets done faster with two people, plus you shared your cookies."

When they finished, Rin drained the sink. She looked deep in thought, so he stayed quiet for a while. Her mixed features were so interesting to him, and the shape of her eyes reminded him of Sasuke's. She suddenly looked over at him, and he felt like he'd been caught staring. It was just that there were similarities. Between her and Sasuke, and yet they had completely different personalities. Sasuke was complex, intelligent, and intense. While he'd seemed cold at first, Naruto quickly discovered that Sasuke was an incredibly warm person, funny, caring, and all these things that excited and thrilled him and made him feel alive. Rin, on the other hand, was bright, bubbly, outgoing, and easy to talk to. Everything Naruto liked in a _girl_.

"I hope you come to my party, Naruto. I hope he comes, too. And whether you fight or yell or punch each other or make out, I just… there's something there for Sasuke. Maybe he said mean things to push you away, or he's scared, but when he talks about you… it's part of the reason I'd feel guilty for even trying to look at you that way. I really like him. If I'd met you first, things would be different, so as it is, it's like… I'm rooting for the two of you to work it out."

Naruto blinked at her, unexpectedly moved by her words. "I'm not sure if I should thank you or not. But… thanks."

"Stop thinking so hard about it, you sad boy." She turned to him and, reaching for a piece of hair stuck to his cheek, tucked it into place behind his ear. "Let's go watch British people bake."

After grabbing his hand, she turned off all the lights in the kitchen (he wanted to ask about the photos on her fridge, but decided he would later), followed her into her bedroom, which was very bohemian, bright, and chic. There were soft colors: pinks, lavenders, light blues. It was girly, but it was also funky. It fit her personality so well. There was a hint of incense in the air. A flatscreen TV was mounted to the wall, and Rin turned it on with the remote. It was facing the bed, which is where she chose to sit. He wondered if he should sit in the chair, but when she gave the bed a pat, it was clear she wanted him to sit with her. Like he was going to complain.

But, before he could, Yoko jumped onto the covers first, settling next to Rin. The kitten began licking her paws and cleaning her face.

"Your favorite ladies are waiting for you to join them," Rin said, patting the bed again.

Naruto crawled onto the bed, his back to the headboard, which was made from a very old-looking door. Immediately, Yoko jumped into his lap, circled, and lay down on him.

"I think she likes you more than me," Rin said. "When Sasuke brought her in, he already knew she was a girl, so I made a dumb joke about him knowing more about pussy than I thought."

"Oh, God. Did you really?" Naruto laughed. "Yeah. As far as I know he's not kissed or touched a girl. Then again, who knows? Maybe to put up a show. Good joke, though. I bet he loved it."

"He thought it was funny. You're right, though. He really does have a good sense of humor once you get to know him. Is he a good kisser at least?"

"Yep." He looked over at her, his head tilted to the side. No point in lying.

She leaned in closer. " _Really_ good?"

"I could be biased," he said. "But I can't think of anyone better. Except maybe his _brother_."

"You kissed his _brother_? That's - "

"I'm _kidding_. I did kiss the guy who was his first time, though. He didn't like that too much."

"What - Wow. Is this the guy you tried to see if - "

Naruto scratched Yoko behind her ears. "It was only a test. It was 'cause I knew he was bi and he knew Sasuke, and Sasuke accidentally caught us while we were, uh, yeah."

"That is _horrible_!" She laughed and shifted around on the bed so that she sat cross-legged next to him. "You realize if that upset him, it clearly meant he was jealous!"

"Yeah, but of me or the other guy? I know it _sounds_ bad," Naruto tried to explain, "But that was also when I realized how I felt about him, and me bein' me, I had to tell him. It's not like I knew for sure how he felt, but I _kinda_ hoped he could return my feelings. Guess I was wrong."

She frowned. "But you said it was in the morning that he turned you down?"

"Yep. We consummated the relationship a little too early." He shrugged. "What can you do?"

"So you _have_ had sex then?"

"Um."

"Sorry, you don't have to tell me - "

"No, we haven't had sex. I didn't want to 'cause, I dunno. I wasn't really sure I'd be into it. I'm kinda glad we didn't now 'cause I think I'd feel worse somehow."

"I can understand that," said Rin. "You're not gay, but you're only into Sasuke, and you go out on a limb to confess to him, and he rejects you. I guess I would feel like I'd been used."

"Exactly!" Naruto scratched under Yoko's chin. "I should've figured it out after he slept with some guy at a party we were both at. Maybe that's all our relationship was about. Physical crap."

"I heard about that, as well. God, that makes me sound like such a gossip. But, I think if someone did that to _me_ , I might question their motives for why they keep wanting to get with me. Especially if they did it on purpose, to make me jealous or angry. That's so childish."

"So, did he stay long at your party?" Naruto asked, wanting to change the subject to something other than his and Sasuke's sex lives. "Sasuke, I mean."

"Two hours?" She answered, but sounded uncertain. "He ended up leaving before most people and went to stay with someone downtown. I forget. Jiroubou maybe?"

He was happy to hear it wasn't Yagura. "Right, yeah. That's a friend of Itachi's."

"I haven't heard from him since then," said Rin. "He hasn't even posted on his Twitter. Usually he's so active on there about bands, but maybe he doesn't have any shows lined up. Lots of bands want him so badly, like to play or sub or even to manage their PR or social media."

"I know. He's really great at that stuff. His dad doesn't like it so much that Sasuke 'wastes his time on music', but I don't think his dad realizes Sasuke's a fuckin' genius at it, or how serious it is, or how good he is at everything. I don't think his parents have ever come to a single show, but I'm sure Sasuke doesn't talk to them about it much. Like, he's ashamed to? Or, figures they'll get upset about it. Not that his mom cares. She's cool as hell. I love her."

"Do you?" She asked. "Is she very pretty?"

"Hell, yeah, she is." Naruto grinned at her. "Mikoto's hot!"

"You say that so easily!" Rin smacked him.

"Why are you smackin' me. You said we were just gonna be friends!"

"Yes, and friends smack friends for saying someone's mother is hot!"

"But it's true! Sasuke has her face, which is probably a good thing. I mean his dad is a handsome guy, but in a very masculine way."

"I see. So you think Sasuke is pretty then?"

"I mean…" An image of Sasuke sprung to mind, first G-rated and then escalating straight to NC-17. "He's got a, um… good face… he makes good faces. Wait, that didn't sound right - "

Rin started cracking up. "If he could hear you now, I think he'd love it."

"I hope he's not secretly hiding under your bed and listening," he said.

She snorted. "I hope not either, because that mean's he's been under there all day."

"Yeah, that's not the case 'cause Itachi said he was home alone."

"Maybe he's brooding. Maybe he's upset you didn't call him when you got back?"

"Like he'd wanna hear from me. If he doesn't call or text me or contact me, why would I think he wants anything to do with me?"

"Because you know he's stubborn," Rin replied. "It's Sasuke. You did say he was socially awkward sometimes."

"Yeah, but not with _me_ ," Naruto argued. "He's usually very blunt and honest, and if he said he doesn't want a relationship, then he doesn't want a relationship. It's my fault our friendship is over. I freaked him out. Maybe all he wanted was to fuck around, and I kept comin' back, so why would he turn me away until I was like 'derp, be my boyfriend' and then he was all 'hell nah'."

Rin fell over onto his side and laughed at him until Naruto's pride couldn't take it anymore.

"It's not _that_ funny," he told her. "Why are you laughin' at my tragic love life?"

"Sorry, maybe I was just imagining Sasuke saying 'hell nah'."

"He does it sometimes. He can be funny when you get him alone. Or drunk."

"I'm sure he can." Rin gave him a consoling pat on the shoulder. "I bet you know more about him than anyone else, and I bet he knows that, and for some people, Naruto. It's a very scary thing. To have that intimacy with someone."

"Yeah. I know. I've thought about it, but when you really wanna be with someone, when you _really_ want somethin' in life, you go for it, don't you? Maybe that's easy for me to say. I mean, I'd have to tell my dad I was gonna date a guy, but I don't think he'd be that surprised. Sasuke was over all the damn time, and he and my dad have some weird vibe where they talk about news and politics, and all the things that would make me wanna jump out a window."

"Interesting," she said. "Okay, we don't have to talk about it anymore. You're getting upset."

Naruto pouted. "I am not. But I am a little tired."

"Already? Stamina issues?" Rin teased.

"Hardly. But a guy is allowed to get emotionally exhausted from time to time, isn't he?"

"Yes, absolutely. Then, I feel honored you decided to come to me despite being 'emotionally exhausted'. It's like I'm your safe space. It's really cute, and I'm glad we got to talk."

"You're a safe space," he mumbled, pulling at Yoko's tail, which had a bright white tip.

Rin giggled again. "You're silly, and your hair is weird." She brushed it back for him. "So blond. I love it. You're like a surfer boy or something."

"Gnarly, dude," he said, mocking her. "Do me a favor while we watch this, and I mean it in a very platonic kinda way, but I kinda maybe need it and there's no one else to ask."

"Okay, sure. What is it?" Rin asked, her brown eyes wide and full of concern.

"Spoon me?" He asked.

"Spoon you?" She repeated, and then smiled at him. "Hm… I can do that. That's cute."

"Just try not to grab my butt while you do it."

Naruto flopped onto his side so he could see the TV. He dragged the kitten to his chest, cuddling Yoko and unwilling to release her even if she tried to run away.

In the meantime, Rin got up to turn off most of the lights. He wasn't sure why he wanted her to spoon him, but… he was drained, talking about Sasuke had beaten him down even more, and if she didn't, maybe he'd have a minor freak out. So, when he felt her slide up behind him and put an arm around his waist, he felt relieved. Rin started to hum in his ear, and he wished she'd sing. Like Sasuke used to do sometimes. When he was too tired to be self-conscious about it.

"I'm sorry I didn't mention this earlier," he said. "But you sounded really amazing that night, Rin."

"Thanks," she whispered. "I'm glad you think so. I'm sorry you didn't stay for the whole show."

"You know about that?"

"I do. Yagura was the one who mentioned he saw you leave."

"That jackass." Naruto hugged Yoko tighter, but all she did was purr. "I like this show. It's relaxing. I have no idea what they're bakin'. Everything looks old-fashioned."

"I love it. It's so much better than the American baking shows, which are basically all the same."

"If I fall asleep, don't take offense, and wake me up 'cause otherwise my friend will kill me. Or not. He probably won't even notice, but I don't wanna miss the last bus."

"You can stop worrying," she said, giving him a slight squeeze around his middle. "You're allowed to take it easy, Naruto. I'll make sure you get home tonight."

"You realize if I wasn't gay for Sasuke, I'd be so into you right now?" He shut his eyes, finding it almost impossible to physically keep his eyelids open any longer.

"Then I think we're on the same page," she replied and hummed in his ear again. "But, I'd like for both of you to be happy, so don't give up just yet, Naruto."

"Tch." He nuzzled the top of Yoko's head and gave it a kiss. "Give up? That's not even in my vocabulary."

"Does that mean I might see you at my party? I really would like to see you again."

"Let me ask my friend," he said sleepily, "But, yeah. I'll come. Even if Sasuke doesn't. Or, even if he does."

"Promise?" She asked, and maybe he was imagining it, but it felt like her lips touched his ear.

"Mmhmm. Promise. And I never go back on my word, so I'll be here. New Year's Eve, and I'm gonna kiss little Yoko when the ball drops."

"You're so tired you're not making sense anymore." Rin's hand flattened against his stomach, and it almost felt protective. "It's really, really adorable."

"Don't hit on me," he said, unable to keep from smiling. "We're just friends."

"But you're being so cute I just want to molest you a little. To hell with Sasuke!

"No."

"Naru _to_ ," she whined, and he started laughing.

"Rin. No means no."

"Fine." She giggled. "I didn't get to paint your nails!"

"Next time," Naruto murmured. "You can paint them next time."

"Take a nap," she said. "I'll wake you in an hour."

"Alright. You're a good friend, and I like your cat."

"You can thank Sasuke later. He's the one who found her."

"We'll see. If I tell him I'm in love with his cat, he might run away from me again."

He felt Rin hit her head against his upper back. She was laughing so hard he could feel her body shaking against his.

"Don't _laugh_ at me," he said. "You're bein' so _rude_."

"I'm sorry, but I'm totally going to molest you while you're sleeping. He'll never know."

"Oh," he said, almost delirious at this point. "He'll know. He's got a sixth sense for this kinda thing. I'm hopin' he doesn't show up at my apartment and smack me around for bein' here."

"A sixth sense?" She asked. "Doesn't that mean he sees dead people?"

Naruto snorted. "You're funny. I like you, Rin."

"Thanks," she said quietly. "I like you, too, Naruto."

He was drifting off, but for some reason, those words really hurt his heart.

 _See, Sasuke,_ he thought. _It's not so hard to tell someone you like them._

* * *

TBC


	12. Interlude III: Sasuke & Main Naruto

**a/n:** I swear it's a miracle I finished this, and Naruto didn't come out as dark as I'd planned. Stories do what they want, I suppose. If you'd like to buy me a coffee to help keep the writing coming, please see profile.

* * *

 _Boy, when I left you, you were young  
_ _I was gone, but not my love  
_ _You were clearly meant for more  
_ _Than a life lost in the war_

 _"Youth", Glass Animals_

 **This fic is dedicated to netamashii.**

* * *

After being abandoned by Itachi and his friends, Sasuke sat alone at the bar, pressing his fingertips to the glass and staring at the prints left behind when he lifted them. Looking around, there were plenty of patrons, but the background noise seemed set to a low static. The jukebox played, though. Ironically, the lyrics came out crystal clear, holding his focus. The bartender was nearby, washing and drying glasses. Absently, he slipped a hand into his jacket pocket, feeling for his phone even if he was well aware it wasn't going to ring or vibrate with a message anytime soon. Sasuke, staring into his half-empty glass, glanced up when the song abruptly stopped. In front of the jukebox stood an older man with bright blond hair that spiked in the back.

Tipsy, his gaze began to casually rove down and up the length of the man's body, more out of curiosity than any real interest because, for an instant, he thought: _Naruto?_

However, it didn't take long for his brain to remind him Naruto wasn't in Seattle. He'd escaped to Illinois and was likely fucking some random high school girl with big tits and a nice face.

Still, his eyes lingered on the man while he was making his song selections. He had on a brown bomber jacket, gray hoodie, and pair of blue jeans that showed off his long legs and (in _Sasuke's_ objective opinion) firm ass. From his height and build—and only seeing the side profile of his face—Sasuke might put him in his early to mid 20s. This was a bar he often came to with Itachi, so he knew a lot of the regulars, but this person didn't appear familiar. A tourist? But who would come to Seattle and go to a bar by himself? Did he find that adventurous or sad? The new song began, and Sasuke's heart stuttered to a stop at the familiar quick rhythm of the drums and soft-spoken vocals. Well, at least the blond stranger had good taste in music.

After having stared for far too long to be cool, Sasuke looked away. Instead of ogling the man's backside, he gazed into his glass, the ice having already melted into the remaining alcohol.

 _While I slept, you crept in and pulled the rug right out from under me._

Unable to help himself, Sasuke glanced up again, eyeing the blond while he continued standing so conspicuously in front of the jukebox. Most of the night his troubled thoughts had been focused on Naruto, so seeing this person was very distracting and even a little disturbing.

 _Then the rain stole away and took the parts that kept me functioning_.

When the stranger turned around—for the briefest of moments—their eyes met, and Sasuke clutched the glass so hard it should have shattered.

 _My heart will be blacker than your eyes when I'm through with you_.

Blue. The kind of blue that kept him awake at night. Deep and usually filled with humor. But, these were strange to him. Cold. Distant. Intense and assessing. _Judging_.

"Naruto," he said under his breath.

Except, _not_ Naruto. _Clearly_. That would be impossible.

 _And I said, this life ain't no love song while I marched on blindly_.

The man abruptly averted his gaze as if annoyed or made uncomfortable by Sasuke's unsolicited attention. He started walking toward the bar. The bartender went over to ask his order the moment the older man sat down. He chose a stool on the opposite side of the bar, an entire collection of assorted liquor bottles between them. It wasn't typical for him to stare so obviously, but it also wasn't normal for him to run into a Naruto clone. Well… an _older_ version.

When their eyes had met earlier, he'd felt… familiarity? Not only because he _looked_ like Naruto, but the way he'd stared back at Sasuke. There was…

 _You burned me, yeah you've burned me, yeah you've burned me now one too many times_.

He flinched. _Recognition_. There had been recognition.

 _My thoughts are the cold kind, I've got storm clouds that are brewing behind my eyes_.

Once more, the man glanced his way after receiving his drink. It was a flat, unwelcoming look he sent Sasuke, and yet he knew instinctively it wasn't the blond's _natural_ expression. They didn't know each other, but he could sense his hostility. The intensity of it didn't seem warranted given that they were strangers. Could it be someone he'd pissed off at a gig? If he'd been drunk at the time, it'd be hard to say for sure. Being personable was more Naruto's thing, after all.

 _And my heart will be blacker than your eyes when I'm through with you_.

Sasuke felt edgy now. Paranoid. Angry even. What had he ever done to _him_? All because he kept staring? Because he was young and at a bar? Sasuke wondered if he was drunk enough to go over and confront him only to remember that social interaction, especially while inebriated, wasn't necessarily a smart idea. Therefore, all he do about this injustice was settle for a glare.

When he got tired of how ineffectual that was, he pulled out his phone to stop himself from thinking about the stranger (or Naruto) any further.

* * *

Later, as he was scrolling through his Twitter feed, he was approached by the bartender. Sasuke glanced up when the man set a napkin and cocktail in front of him.

"What's this?" He asked.

"A vodka and coke." The bartender, whom he knew quite well, smirked knowingly.

Sasuke frowned. "I mean, _why_ are you giving me something I didn't order?"

"You must have an admirer," the bartender answered before walking away to attend to a couple of brunettes who'd just walked in and sat down at the bar.

When Sasuke's gaze travelled from the two giggling women to the other side of the bar, he noticed the blond stranger was no longer there and felt an unexpected pang of disappointment.

"Looking for someone?" A low, husky voice spoke next to his ear, and, rather than jump, he felt goosebumps rise along the back of his neck.

Turning his head slowly in the direction of the voice, Sasuke, again, felt absolutely sure this had to be an immediate relation of Naruto's. They even shared a similar posture. The blond man had his hands inside his jean pockets, shoulders slightly hunched in a boyish manner as he stood there with a shit-eating grin, deep blue eyes less cold than earlier and almost… _twinkling_.

He didn't know what to say.

"That's not your drink?" The man asked, nodding at the glass. "It's usually what you order."

"W-what?" Sasuke's throat had gone dry and it seemed his brain was doing a very poor job at processing the situation at hand.

"Mind if I sit?"

He turned his body toward the man, drawn to him solely because of his resemblance to Naruto.

It _should_ be Naruto.

Being a Dr. Who fan, he briefly contemplated the possibility of time travel before remembering he'd been asked a question, and this Naruto doppelganger wouldn't stop staring at him with this _look_. Like he _knew_ Sasuke—everything about him—and was just fucking with him.

"Who are you?" He asked warily, watching as the stranger took a seat beside him.

Sasuke's eyes strayed to the blond's fingertips, which appeared well-manicured (not very Naruto-like since Naruto was forever scraping the dirt out from under his nails). The two of them were near enough that when the man pulled the stool toward the bar, their elbows bumped. Involuntarily, Sasuke sucked in a breath, goosebumps violently spreading across both arms.

Meanwhile, the bartender returned, and the stranger ordered a Manhattan.

"Not my usual drink," he said to Sasuke once the bartender left them alone. "But I was in the mood for somethin' stronger. You gonna drink that?"

"You ordered this for me?" He asked, his voice cracking in his surprise. He found himself irritated it had much higher pitch in comparison to the this guy's deeper voice.

"I did. I wouldn't have given you're clearly under age, but… you already had one in front of ya, so I took a shot. It'd be one helluva magic trick if y'think I slipped somethin' in it."

Sasuke stared at the drink like it was poison. "You saying that makes it even more suspicious." He pushed it to the side. "I don't usually accept drinks from strangers."

The man leaned into his space. "...Are we strangers?"

Sasuke gave him a sidelong glance. "Aren't we?"

The blond laughed and, other than sounding older, it was _definitely_ Naruto's laugh. It was so odd and surreal to him, he almost felt like he was having an out-of-body experience or, at the very least, an extremely lucid dream. But, he felt grounded, too. He could smell the alcohol and the cologne the other man wore, feel the weight of the clothes on his own body.

"You look," said the man, bright eyes searching Sasuke's face, "So young. It's killin' me."

"Excuse me?" Out of reflex, Sasuke put more space between them.

"Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not interested in you so long as you're jailbait."

"What the hell are you _talking_ about?" He asked. "If you're some kind of creep—"

The way the man narrowed his eyes, Sasuke lost his train of thought. Was it strange to compare that look of disapproval to the one he'd received from his brother many, many times?

"What's wrong?" The blond asked, the furrow between his brows smoothing out somewhat.

"I don't… feel well." Sliding a piece of hair behind his ear first, Sasuke rubbed at his right temple. His head felt so odd, like it was full of cotton.

"You don't know what's goin' on at all, do you?" The man sighed heavily. "And here I thought you were the smart one."

His head jerking up at the very Naruto-esque comment, Sasuke shot him a withering glare. "Why are you fucking with me? Did someone put you up to this?"

"Wow. You're pretty paranoid, huh? Oh, man. This would be kinda funny if it wasn't already pretty disturbing. I'm not used to bein' the sadist in this relationship. Heh."

"...Relationship?" Sasuke murmured, the heavy feeling in his head only getting worse.

"Do you know that interview question employers like to ask?" The blond took a sip of his drink before continuing in a calm voice. "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"I guess," he answered, feeling especially shaky right now.

"Well." The stranger angled his body toward Sasuke. "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Why? Are you interviewing me for a job?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Fuck, yeah, I would if I was in any position to." The blond laughed while he ran a hand through his blond spikes, eventually tucking it behind an ear. "You're the smartest guy I know. Even at this age, I bet you're still smarter than I'll ever be, even after I finally finish this MBA."

"You study business?" Sasuke, not able to follow the conversation very well, began to assume that this person was either mentally unbalanced or completely wasted.

"Sure. Thought it might come in handy. Already had a business degree, but why not add another one on top of it?"

"Sounds like something my father might say," he muttered.

"Oh, yeah?"

Without being aware of it, Sasuke grabbed his glass and drank at least half in one swallow. Afterward, he set it down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"You seem troubled."

Sasuke glanced unsteadily at the blond again, licking the residual alcohol from his lips. "You're all kinds of fucked up, aren't you?"

Smiling, the man settled his elbow on the bartop, cradling his face in one hand. "You think so? Do I seem crazy? The situation is crazy, that's for sure."

"What situation?"

"Wow, just how deep does your denial run?" The stranger chuckled, but then his jovial expression abruptly became more pensive and brooding.

Sasuke stared hard, studying his features again. A part of him still thought—absolutely—this was simply an older Naruto. But the impossibility of it, _of course_ , kept his brain from acknowledging such a ridiculous notion. Was he drunk? Was it wishful thinking?

"You didn't answer my question," said the man, voice nearly a whisper.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I don't even get why you're asking."

The corner of the blond's mouth curled upward. "Call it… curiosity."

"Right." Sasuke picked up his drink again. "Sounds like a really terrible pick-up line if you ask me. Doesn't help that it was preceeded by your acknowledgment that I'm, as you put it, 'jailbait'. Which, just so we're clear, the age of consent in the state of Washington is 16."

"Is that some kind of invitation?" The man, before Sasuke could take a sip, snatched the glass out of his hand and drank the rest.

Sasuke froze the instant their hands brushed. He watched the blond swallow, and like he'd done earlier, wipe his mouth clean with the back of his hand. Sasuke caught himself staring at the man's fingernails again, which is when he noticed what he assumed to be a wedding band.

"You're married?" Sasuke breathed out incredulously. "Does your wife know you're here?"

"Husband," the man corrected with a chuckle. "Or fiancé, rather."

"Why are you laughing?" Sasuke asked, feeling himself growing angry. "Do you think it's _funny_ that you have a fiancé, but you're here at some bar, hitting on a 17 year old?"

"He would probably find this pretty amusing, yeah."

The stranger set down the glass with a thud that rattled the ice cubes inside. He waved the bartender over, ordering two additional drinks (Sasuke presumed one was for him). A few minutes of silence ensued between them until they received their cocktails. The older man held his drink, staring into his glass contemplatively as he swirled it around in circles, a small smirk playing at his lips. In an effort to soothe his nerves, Sasuke picked up his drink and sniffed, this time without questioning the stranger's motives. The longer they sat together, the more Sasuke felt a bubbling sense of familiarity. The silence became less awkward and more… tolerable.

"You're not from Seattle," Sasuke said, his voice low.

"Nope."

He glanced over, at those blue eyes that were so penetrating and clear. It reminded him of what Naruto looked like during his more perceptive moods. The instances in which he was most inclined to call Sasuke out on his bullshit. A side of Naruto that not many people but him knew.

"You know where I'm from," said the blond.

"Oh, do I? I hope this isn't where you say I know you from my _dreams_."

The man laughed, slapping his palm down on the bar. "God, you really _are_ fuckin' cute."

"Excuse me?" Sasuke's fingers tightened around the base of his glass.

"Like, you as a teenager. Honestly. For me, it helps put the puzzle pieces together a little more. I don't mean to sound condescending either, by the way."

"Is that so?" He asked. "As if I'd be bothered by anything you'd say."

Suddenly, the blond slid his arm around the back of the chair, not quite making physical contact but Sasuke could feel the warmth of his body. It raised the hair along the back of Sasuke's neck.

"What are you doing?" He asked, tilting his head ever so slightly in the man's direction.

"I feel… protective." The blond set his eyes on Sasuke. "It's weird."

"Yes," he replied dryly. "It is. Just so we're clear. I know this bartender well. He's a friend of my brother's who, if he knew someone like you was hitting on me, would break your legs in an instant."

"Hm." The blond rubbed at his chin. "I'm not used to you relying on your brother for protection."

He kept his eyes on Sasuke while taking another sip of his liquor.

"You know Itachi?" He asked disbelievingly, brows raising in surprise.

The stranger nodded. "I do. Pretty well, I'd say. He's my buddy."

"Then how come I've never seen you before?"

For whatever reason, he was struck by another wave of dizziness. It felt like he was missing something very important here.

"I guess you have," replied the blond. "But I suppose I look a little different to you now."

"What does that mean?" He inquired, unable to quell his growing anxiety.

"Think about it, Sasuke," the blond told him, leaning in so close he could smell the alcohol on the man's breath. Not to mention, his hormones had an instant reaction, as well. "You know me."

"I don't," he whispered, trying to will his teenage body not to react to their proximity.

"Usually you're all too willing to say my name," the man replied, his voice unmistakably huskier than earlier. "Ah, shit." He backed away, though. "That sounded creepy even to me."

The stranger removed his arm from around the back of his seat and put some distance between them. He rubbed the back of his head exactly the way Naruto did so often when embarrassed.

"Naruto," Sasuke said in a quiet voice, and the blond abruptly stared at him… then smiled.

"Took you long enough."

Despite having been the one to say it, it didn't stop Sasuke from staring at the blue-eyed man in disbelief.

"Impossible," he breathed.

"Hmm. Not impossible," said the older man. "Because… well." This Naruto glanced around the bar. "None of this is real anyway."

"...Not real?" Sasuke questioned.

"Mm. I am..." The blond nodded, a crease forming between his eyebrows. "A figment of your subconscious, so to speak. Freud. Jung and all that stuff. You're more into those things than me, but I'm guessin' everything comes back to havin' a dick or unresolved issues with your mo—"

Naruto stopped all of a sudden, his gaze narrowing at him in a disconcerting manner. The way he cut himself off gave Sasuke pause and filled him with a sense of foreboding.

"Why did you stop?"

The man forced a smile. "Not important. I'd guess that there's a reason I'm here. Somethin' you need to ask me? Unresolved issues in your waking life I can help you sort through?"

"As if." Sasuke scoffed. "You don't know me."

"I know everything you know and more, including the stuff you don't want to acknowledge."

He couldn't help a snort. "What is it you think I'm not acknowledging?"

"Oh, I dunno. How's your love life goin', Sasuke?"

Having been in the middle of taking a drink, Sasuke started to choke. Naruto slapped him on the back a couple of times, laughing at him all the while. He sent the older man a glare.

"Fuck off."

" _You're_ the one in control. If you don't want me here, you should be able to get rid of me… but considering I _am_ here, I'd say there's a reason for it. Am I right?"

"Tch." Sasuke dug his incisor into his bottom lip. "Alright, if you know me so well. What am I thinking about right now?"

"Right now?" Naruto hummed while drumming his fingers over the bartop. "You're tryin' to hide the fact you're sexually attracted to me 'cause then you feel like you won't have the upper-hand while we talk, which you shouldn't anyway 'cause I'm _older_ than you. _Obviously_."

Sasuke blinked at him, hardly willing to acknowledge even to himself that Naruto was right on the money. "If you really _are_ just a manifestation created by my brain… you're not anyone. You're not even _real_."

"You never know," said Naruto. "I gotta come from somewhere, but I can only imagine your teenage brain has warped me just a little. I don't feel quite myself if I'm bein' honest."

"Are you even listening to yourself?"

"I am, yeah." Naruto, rubbing the back of his neck, chuckled for the umpteenth time. "It does sound kinda crazy. Then again, this is the sorta thing you'd expect to hear me say, yeah?"

Sasuke decided not to acknowledge the question with anything other than an unintelligible noise of disgruntlement. Even for him, this was a little too much. A dream? Now that he thought about it, it made sense. Not like he hadn't had dreams before where he'd become aware he was dreaming. Figures that as much as his mind had been on Naruto these past few days (read: months), that his brain would pull something like this. Why he was dreaming of an adult Naruto, he wasn't quite sure. Despite it being a dream, Sasuke felt a sudden urge to urinate.

"I… need to use the restroom," he muttered, attempting to get up from the stool.

When he stood with a slight wobble, Naruto was there to grab him by the arm, keeping him upright. The contact sent tantalizing shocks throughout his body. Their eyes met, and the way Naruto looked at him caused him to experience some not so innocent thoughts. It confused him, made him angry even, so Sasuke pulled away and headed toward the bathroom. By the time he went inside, he no longer needed to go. Rather, he felt lightheaded. Sasuke, pushing open one of the stall doors, closed and locked it behind him. He leaned against it, pressing his hand to the door as his hair fell across his eyes. Like on _Nightmare on Elm Street_ , if this was his dream, couldn't he take control of it? As this older version of Naruto had suggested, wasn't it possible to will him away if he didn't want him here? Could he wake himself up from this?

Though he attempted to will himself awake for several minutes, Sasuke still remained standing against the stall door. Eventually, he unlocked the door, pushed it open, and started to walk out only to run smack into Naruto. To stop their bodies from colliding, Naruto had put a hand to his chest. It was so warm. The blond man, being taller and more muscular in comparison, kept Sasuke in place, pinning him with those goddam blue eyes. A sharp sense of melancholy accosted him and made it feel like his knees would give out at any moment. The more he focused on the touch of Naruto's hand, the more he wanted to be wrapped up in his arms.

"Why are you here?" Sasuke whispered, voice distraught. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doin' anything to you, Sasuke," Naruto answered quietly, and, ever so gently, grabbed a piece of Sasuke's hair to tuck it behind an ear.

"It's _your_ fucking fault."

Biting his lip, Sasuke raised both of his hands and pushed Naruto in the chest. The fact that it barely had an effect on Naruto caused him to push again and again and again until Naruto was forced to take several steps backward. At first, Naruto remained passive, but after one more push, he grabbed Sasuke's wrists and began walking him back toward the stalls. Naruto shoved him into one, locking the door behind him. The blond looked angry, which excited him for some morbid reason. He wanted them to fight, wanted Naruto to yell and manhandle him so that Sasuke could yell and push back. The emotions from this past month or so welled up inside of him, causing everything inside to crack like so much fragile glass. It spilled out like vomit.

"It's your fault for falling in love with me!" He yelled, trying to free his wrists. "What did you expect to happen? Did you think we'd have a fairytale ending? Did you think I'd come out just for you? Did you really think I could handle a relationship knowing how fucked up I can be? Did you only think of yourself and your own feelings? Didn't it to occur to you that I _did_ love you, but didn't know how to show it? That I rejected you for your own sake? It's your own fault for not knowing how I really feel, for thinking…" His eyes ran back and forth across Naruto's face. "Why… why me? I'm… a broken mess. A coward. You're… I'd ruin you. I'd ruin everything."

When Naruto crushed him in an embrace, Sasuke fought against it by pounding on his chest and struggling. The older man cupped the back of his head. He pressed his lips against Sasuke's hair, kissed him on the forehead, over his closed eyelids, both corners of his mouth.

"You're always your own biggest critic," Naruto whispered between kisses. "Always so hard on yourself. I see so much potential in you. I see exactly what you'll become. You'll be a man I'll love with my whole heart, Sasuke. Absolutely. Naruto will come to know that eventually."

"Eventually?" He repeated, already feeling defeated by these words of prognostication.

" _Eventually_ ," Naruto replied, lips brushing against his cheek.

Sasuke managed to wind his arms around Naruto's waist. At first he hesitated, but then he gripped the back of Naruto's leather jacket, squeezing it tight. Like a lifeline. The smell of the leather seemed so real, though. Naruto's smell, too. His Naruto, but not… Naruto.

Sasuke didn't deserve him. Even this dream!Naruto was too good for him.

"Dream!Naruto," Naruto said and chuckled. "Did you really just think that?"

Despite himself, he pressed his forehead to Naruto's shoulder. "Don't read my mind, idiot."

"I could be real." Naruto replied lightly and gave him another squeeze. "Existin' in some other universe. Like your boyfriend, David Tennant."

"Shut up." Sasuke tightened his arms around the older man's waist. "You'd have to be a dream for me to show this side to you. I'm not like this… this isn't me."

"Shh." Naruto settled his chin on top of Sasuke's head. "It's not too late to apologize. It's not too late to repair your friendship with him if you'd stop being stubborn."

"I'm not—" Sasuke began to argue, to pull away, but Naruto dragged him back into his arms.

"Don't run away from me. There will be times in the future that we can't be together, so don't be so quick to run away, jerk."

That thought struck him to the core. All this time he'd been pushing Naruto away, and yet the thought of a real separation between them caused his anxiety to heighten.

"Everything will work out in the end," Naruto spoke softly next to his ear. "You're strong, Sasuke. One of the strongest men I've ever met in my life. I swear it."

"You're… you're only telling me what I want to hear." Sasuke felt himself tearing up. He felt a longing for Naruto, an ache for him that was so strong it was almost debilitating.

"You're the one who conjured me here. Pretty sure you wouldn't let me get away with doin' that. I've only ever been honest with you. I wouldn't be any different now."

"I… I don't know what to do."

There was one final press of lips to his forehead, and Sasuke's eyes snapped open. He found himself alone in his dark room. Sweat had broken out all over his skin. Immediately, he shoved the comforter off of his body and lay a hand atop his chest, breath coming out rather ragged. When he calmed after a few minutes, Sasuke's eyes turned to his phone sitting on the nightstand. The compulsion to call Naruto was so strong that he thought he might go crazy if he didn't do it right now. However, the clock read 3 a.m., and he was recalling the last time he'd tried to call Naruto. Sasuke didn't want to risk that again.

Naruto had gone to visit Rin tonight, too, hadn't he? _Yes_ , it made him extremely jealous. It made his anger at Naruto bubble to the surface all over again. It also made him angry at himself.

 _Eventually_.

If he wasn't right for Naruto… if they weren't meant to be together now… what would it take? It was hard to imagine him becoming the type of man—the type of person—that would be worthy of someone like Naruto. Of anyone, really. It was a hard thing to fathom. It was a hard thing to digest, really. Knowing he was so worthless to Naruto, that he'd betrayed and hurt him despite that the blond being the closest friend he'd ever had in his life. Even knowing being with Naruto had changed him, made him want for things he'd never allowed himself to wish for, to even hope for a time when a relationship might be possible, when he could finally be _out_.

When would that time come? When would he be allowed that freedom? Was it okay to wish for a future where he and Naruto could be happy together? Even if it took _years_?

Sasuke rolled to the other side, his back to the phone. He shut his eyes tight, imagining this older Naruto and the way he'd so confidently believed in Sasuke's potential.

The fact that it was wishful thinking made him feel so fucking pathetic!

He felt disgusted with himself, and even more so when the tears leaked out the corner of his eyes and slid haphazardly down his cheeks. Sasuke rubbed them away roughly, biting down hard on his bottom lip to the point that he tasted blood soon after. It was so easy to be mad at Naruto, knowing he caused these chaotic emotions. But, he knew it wasn't Naruto at all. It was him and him alone. It was hard to admit, but he knew. There was a chasm between he and Naruto right now. He understood that Naruto probably expected him to be the one to make a move, or maybe he'd given up on Sasuke already and was ready to move on.

No. Naruto wouldn't give up. Sasuke had pushed him away and made him feel like shit.

Still...

He didn't know how to fix it. It was… just too hard to swallow his pride. Even for Naruto.

For a while he lay awake, afraid of falling back asleep and being forced to face Naruto again. But, sleep did come despite his fears. Instead of Naruto, however, Sasuke dreamt of darker themes… something about a car crash, broken glass, and bloody tarps. Luckily, those horrifying details would be completely wiped from his memory upon waking in the morning and replaced by such a _paralyzing_ sense of foreboding and loss that Sasuke was afraid to get out of bed for fear something bad would happen today…

...to someone he knew and loved.

* * *

 **TBC**

Don't forget to review the chapter!


	13. Act III: Bad At Love

A/N: Thanks to the folks who sent kofi or Starbuck's card donations to me recently! One more chapter to go (probably).

* * *

 _Dedicated to netamashii who has doodled many a wonderful Dream fanarts._

* * *

Despite having felt anxious after waking this morning, nothing especially traumatic had happened so far, and it was already after 9 p.m. A small group was hanging out at Hidan's bungalow in Ballard. Since Itachi had driven, Sasuke brought along his guitar, figuring the rest of the guys might want to jam while drinking beer. The perceptiveness of his older brother had always made Sasuke uncomfortable to a degree, but, in this instance, he appreciated Itachi's offer of getting out of the house. Although he couldn't remember his dreams very well, they'd left him feeling jarred all day. Almost like he couldn't get his skin to stop itching.

A few beers later, three of them were sitting around Hidan's recording equipment, playing and singing. They'd teased Sasuke about his recent singing debut, but having already downed several bottles of Stella, he didn't feel the least bit self-conscious. Rather, the strange feeling of foreboding he'd been carrying all day had begun transforming into something more like melancholy. At the center of his core, there did, indeed, still sit this odd premonition he was about to lose something or someone important.

If it was about Naruto—because he _did_ remember dreaming of that older him—in what ways could he lose Naruto more than he already had? Was it because he feared losing him to Rin? If so, would he be willing to fight for his love? He liked Rin, and buried deep down, there was also a part of himself that _might_ be capable of wishing the best for Naruto. A part of him that desired for the blond to be happy and to date someone who could… be more open and honest than Sasuke was capable of right now. Isn't that what Naruto deserved? Well, it was if Sasuke pushed aside all of his selfish motivations for a moment of inebriated self-reflection anyway. However, the thought of letting Naruto go hit him quite hard.

While the others—Jiroubou, Hidan, and Kimimaro—sat on Hidan's ugly plaid couch, Sasuke settled his acoustic on his lap and started to strum. He hummed at first, closing his eyes. He could feel the gazes of everyone upon him, including Deidara and Itachi, who were sitting at the counter talking. Without realizing he'd meant to sing this one particular song, Sasuke shut his eyes again, allowing the lyrics to slip freely from his lips. His voice came out low and strange. Unfamiliar to him. It left him shivering, with goosebumps arising along both arms.

"I'll cross my heart and hope to die. Before I'd have the chance to lie. To you, my dear. Who I wish no harm. But I know, in the end, this will turn out wrong."

He watched his fingers on the strings. Tiny automatons coordinating together effortlessly.

"See, I've been known to fall in love. But, sometimes love just is not enough."

Gazing around the room, Sasuke felt inextricably alone. Though faces stared back at him, it was like none of them were real. As surreal as his dream last night.

"And my heart will stray _be_ fore too long. So, please, forgive me. For when I sing… this song."

While playing out the remaining bars, he hummed the gentle melody, and then attempted to sing it out loud, voice finally cracking at the end. He set the guitar flat on his lap, looked up, and saw that everyone was staring. They were so quiet, it was unnerving. Sasuke, giving it no thought, grabbed for his beer bottle and swallowed. He wiped his mouth. Still unsettled by the silence, he turned a glare toward the men on the couch.

"What?" He asked.

Instead of answering, Hidan turned to Jiroubou.

"You got that on tape, right?" Hidan asked.

"U-uh, yeah," Jiroubou answered, checking the recording device sitting on the coffee table.

The mood was soon broken by the sound of Deidara blowing his nose. Itachi consoled the long-haired blond by rubbing his back. Sasuke met his brother's gaze. No words were exchanged. As coolly as he could, Sasuke sat back in his chair and brushed his hair out of his eyes, loosely tucking it behind one ear. He placed the guitar to the side.

Just as he was about to get up for another beer, Hidan stood from his seat and handed Sasuke his own bottle. He eyed the main questioningly, but took it from him.

"Thanks."

"Sure." Hidan nodded. "Seems like you need it."

He didn't give a reply and was suddenly struck by this odd and frightening feeling of sinking deep into himself. Eventually, the group began to talk amongst themselves. Maybe they started to play, too. He couldn't really remember or concentrate, being too lost in his own dejection and despondency. That sense of foreboding had returned, too, and Sasuke didn't know how to shake it off.

Other than to make sure this bottle of beer wouldn't be his last for the evening.

* * *

"Don't look at me like that," Naruto said while he was pissing into a urinal at some seedy bar they found downtown.

It wasn't the safest area, but he and Gaara had befriended an older guy who wasn't shy about buying their drinks. Apparently he thought it was hilarious to provide alcohol to a couple of smart-mouthed minors. It worked out well for them, so not like either were complaining.

"I'm just thinking about what you told me earlier," Gaara replied. He was leaning against the sink, arms crossed, and watching Naruto while he peed.

"What? About Sasuke?" Naruto gave himself a another last shake before zipping up.

"Yeah. I just… never pegged you as gay." Gaara shrugged.

Naruto eyed him curiously. "Problem?"

"No. You always were good at surprising people, so I suppose this isn't… very surprising."

Naruto went to the sink to wash his hands, and Gaara got out of his way.

"By the way," he said. "I'm not gay. I… got caught up in somethin' with the guy, confessed, and got rejected like the idiot I am."

"I see. Yes, I believe you mentioned that in excruciating detail."

Naruto flung the excess water from his hands onto his friend. "Hey, it's the first time I've had my heart broken. Have a little sympathy for a guy."

"I thought my sister was the first to break your heart?" Gaara tore off some paper towels for him. There wasn't even a holder; it was sitting on the sink, half damp.

"That was only lust," Naruto replied, drying his hands. "Probably?" He shook his head. "Anyway. Not sure why you were thinkin' about that while I had my junk whipped out."

Gaara snorted. "Don't flatter yourself, Uzumaki. Even if I _were_ gay, you wouldn't be my type."

"Huh?" Naruto tossed the wadded up towels into the overflowing garbage. "Why would you say that? You're supposed to be my best friend!"

"Doesn't mean I'd bone you. I definitely couldn't handle a romantic relationship with you."

Gaara wore a serious expression (for him anyway), so Naruto had a hard time not taking offense, even if it was a silly conversation. It didn't help they'd been drinking most of the night.

He scowled. "What's so wrong with me that you wouldn't date me? I make a great boyfriend."

"Until you lose interest," Gaara replied. "I think you'd be too emotionally high-maintenance for me. But, that's because I'm hardly capable of those feelings myself."

"You're really givin' this serious thought?" Naruto slipped a hand into his pocket. "Y'know, you kinda sound like Sasuke if I'm honest. He'd probably nitpick my personality to death, too."

"Would he?" Gaara smirked. "Then maybe he and I would get along."

"Tch." Naruto shoved into him. "Like the two of you will ever meet. I won't allow it. It'd be like watchin' alternate realities collide. Way too trippy. But, in a bad way."

"Speaking of." Gaara pulled a joint out of his pocket. "Thought we could go back out to that alley we came in from."

"Where the hell did you get that?" Naruto asked. "You said you didn't bring any."

"I didn't."

"So, where did you get it from?" He asked. "I mean, yeah. It's legal here and stuff, but when were you away from me long enough that you could score pot?"

"When you were flirting with some random chick at the bar," Gaara replied, slipping the joint into the back pocket of his jeans. "Are you in or not? I'll smoke it without you if you want to continue getting over your boyfriend by talking up some air-headed blonde."

"Wow, judgmental much." Naruto folded his arms behind his head and rocked on his heels, thinking. "And I wasn't flirtin' with her. It's called makin' conversation. Try it some time."

"I try it out on you, and it's worked just fine." Gaara's smirk bloomed into a small smile.

Naruto smiled back, chuckling and rubbing the side of his nose. "Aw, shucks."

He slipped an arm around his friend's shoulder.

Gaara shot him a sidelong glare. "Just don't get any ideas."

"C'mon." Naruto squeezed his shoulder. "Don't you know how lucky you'd be to get a piece of this?"

"I don't think I want sloppy seconds." Gaara pulled a face. "Have you been tested for diseases? Who knows what's going on down there." His gaze fell to Naruto's crotch.

"Asshole!" Naruto laughed. "Yeah… I'm… all good down there. Nothin's gonna fall off anytime soon."

"If you say so."

Naruto maneuvered them out of the bathroom. They both went to grab the coats they'd left lying across the seats of their booth. There weren't a lot of people, but it definitely was an establishment that seemed to attract a rougher crowd—bikers and such. Their friend from earlier had a bike, which is why they'd struck up a conversation. He and Gaara were both interested in motorcycles, but Gaara was far more knowledgeable about them since he had experience working in an auto shop. The guy thought it was funny they'd stolen one and gone on a joyride when they were only 14. Thought it was even funnier they'd been pulled over, too.

But, that was sort of the difference in hanging out with Gaara versus Sasuke. Sasuke was a goody two-shoes for the most part, but Gaara… they had fun getting into trouble together. He felt comfortable with his red-haired friend, and Gaara accepted every part of him. Even when his friends had started abandoning him after his mom got sick, Gaara was always there. He wasn't the most physically affectionate person, but Naruto knew Gaara was the most loyal friend he'd ever have in life. And he knew he'd do anything for Gaara, too. It was kind of nice to have that type of person in his life. Someone he could trust. Someone who put up with all of the different sides to his personality. Ones he'd never even shown Sasuke. Not that Sasuke was someone he necessarily trusted anymore.

Right? He didn't, did he? No, not especially.

That was a big part of their problem. It was Naruto's mistake for judging him incorrectly. For thinking he could trust Sasuke in the same way he trusted Gaara. He didn't want to be anyone's doormat, no matter how much he liked that jerk. It was difficult, but Naruto _knew_ he deserved better, which was saying a lot since there'd been plenty of times in his life when he'd felt pretty worthless. In future, he'd be able to get over it and move on. That's just how these one-sided relationships worked, and pinning his hopes on Rin seemed pretty tricky, too.

"Naruto?" Gaara said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

They'd put on their coats, but Naruto had stood there a while, staring into space.

"Uh, sorry." He laughed, scratching the back of his head.

"Thinking about Sasuke… or that girl you hung out with last night?"

Naruto considered making a joke of it. He didn't have the energy, though.

"Both," he answered honestly.

"Ah." Gaara nodded. "A love triangle then."

"Nah." Naruto reached into Gaara's pocket and dug out a lighter.

"That's considered sexual harassment in some countries," Gaara told him jokingly since the pocket had been the back one of his jeans.

"Heh. Maybe I can get a job in the Trump administration, y'think?"

"Not if you want to continue being friends." Gaara took the lighter from him. "I don't think it's safe to let you play with fire. Even if your people invented them."

"'Your people'?" He repeated questioningly.

"Yes. Cavemen. Neandertal. _Your_ people."

"Heh. Hilarious." Naruto barked out a laugh. "Why you so good to me, bro? Why?" He gave Gaara another _love shove_ , directing him toward the door leading to the back alley. "You gonna protect me if any big, scary guys come onto me out there while we smoke?"

"I did bring a knife if that makes you feel any better."

"Ah… yeah, I'm not surprised."

"Seattle's not Chicago, but better safe than sorry." Gaara pulled out the pocket knife and flipped out the blade. It glinted, even in the dim lights of the bar.

Naruto grinned. "You always did make a helluva bodyguard. Used to scare the shit out of the kids in the neighborhood. Back when we met on the playground. In that sandbox."

"Every one of those kids was always scared of me… but not you."

"Yeah, I always wondered why you'd be playin' alone in there when it looked so fun."

"As I recall, you didn't have many friends either." Gaara opened the door for them. It smelled like garbage with the Dumpsters nearby, but it was also a nice night. There was a little bit of snow falling. Naruto stared up at the dark sky, feeling a flash of melancholy.

They walked down the few steps to the alley and found a dark spot away from the street lights. Leaning against the concrete wall, Gaara lit up the joint and offered it to Naruto.

"Ladies first," Gaara said.

"Since ladies are pretty fuckin' awesome, I'll take that as a compliment." Naruto snatched it from his fingers and promptly inhaled. "Shiiit. I needed this."

"I could tell." Gaara waited for him to take another puff before grabbing it from his fingers. "So, you do still like women then? What do you call yourself? Bisexual? Sasuke… sexual?"

"Heh. I have referred to myself like that before. You're smart. We always think alike."

"Sometimes," Gaara replied, tone light and thoughtful.

"I guess… I dunno what I am. Not anything maybe? Not even sure what all the labels are, though I've heard most of 'em… none really describe me… so… dunno?"

"Labels are for the small-minded." Gaara gave him a look. "Do and be whatever the fuck you want, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Naruto stared at him for more than a handful of seconds.

"...Don't cry. You know that makes me uncomfortable," Gaara mumbled, sliding away from him.

"Sorry." Naruto stepped closer despite the scary look it earned him. "I won't do it again. Made me all… teary for a moment. I hope you know how much I appreciate you, Gaara. Honestly. You've always accepted me exactly as I am… and I… yeah. I'd do absolutely anything for you."

"No need to do anything," said Gaara. "Just be you, Uzumaki. That's all I ask."

Naruto choked back a sob. "Dammit. I know you're gonna punch me. But… I gotta." He launched himself at Gaara, hugging him tightly.

Gaara froze. "I'll allow this… this one time because you're emotional from your break up, but you better move soon or I'll burn a hole in that expensive coat your dad bought you."

Chuckling, Naruto backed away and resumed his position against the wall. "Gimme that."

Gaara handed over the joint. "I've got more."

"I figured." Naruto smirked. "How much did it cost anyway?"

"I got a discount." Gaara glanced toward the other end of the alley where they could hear a couple of guys shouting at each other. "Or, I should say I made a trade."

"I think the less I know, the better."

Gaara snickered. "Probably."

"I'm really fuckin' glad you're here." Naruto cast his gaze to the sky. "I've missed you."

Gaara didn't reply, didn't return the sentiment, but he didn't have to because, without any doubt in his mind, Naruto knew exactly how Gaara felt about him. And that was… really great.

"I really did need this," Naruto mumbled.

"Glad I could be of help." Gaara gave his shoulder the lightest bump.

"I wasn't talkin' about the pot, by the way." He glanced over at his friend in a meaningful way.

Gaara shared his look. "I know. Like I said… glad I could be of help, Naruto."

* * *

The shitty thing about Itachi having hot friends was that it made it difficult for Sasuke to hit on them with his brother present. Granted, it was _probably_ all fun and games because Sasuke had already fallen under the very drunk category about two drinks ago. It wasn't his fault that Kimimaro had tied his hair into this loose bun after he'd picked up one of the other acoustics to play with Hidan. Sasuke, for a moment, imagined what a relationship could be like with him. It… wasn't especially appealing other than Kimimaro was a kind-hearted person. Perhaps a little too gentle for Sasuke's liking. He, deep down, wanted someone who could throw him around some.

"That smirk on your face tells me you're thinking somethin' disgusting," Hidan mumbled in his ear.

It would've startled him except he was… in an extremely relaxed state.

"Mind your own business," he replied. "Don't you have an, uh… " Sasuke couldn't think of a proper comeback, so he decided to scowl instead.

"Really? That's all you got?" Hidan cackled like it was the funniest fucking thing and slapped him on the back, much to his annoyance.

Sasuke glanced around the room. While he'd been ogling Kimimaro, he hadn't realized that Itachi had disappeared.

"Where's Itachi?" He asked, throwing his leg over the arm of his chair.

"Went out on the balcony," Hidan answered. "Got a phone call or somethin'."

"And he had to…" Sasuke chugged the remainder of his vodka and Coke. "Go outside to do it?"

"Even your brother is allowed privacy on occasion," Hidan answered. "Always this nosy when you're drunk, Sasuke?"

"Shut up, Hidan."

"Another excellent comeback I'll have to write about in my journal tonight." Hidan plucked the glass from his hand. "I'll get you another. That way maybe you'll pass out and stop talkin' soon."

"Tch. You'll probably just try to get in my pants… take advantage of me."

"In your dreams, kid. You're too high-maintenance for me. _And_ I don't like dick."

"That's what they all say," Sasuke muttered, throwing both of his arms up in the air and then using one to cover his eyes. "S'dark in here."

He was in a weird mood and would've picked up his guitar again if he thought his fingers would coordinate. Wasn't much in the mood to embarrass himself by playing like shit. In a way, it was nice to be out of his mind drunk. It got tiring thinking about Naruto all of the time. In fact, it got tiring thinking about all of his problems _all_ of the time. This is what teenagers were supposed to do, right? Get drunk. Make stupid, irresponsible decisions that could be blamed on youth. Sasuke wasn't that type of teenager, but it seemed a good enough excuse for tonight.

It felt like only minutes that he'd close his eyes against the blinding living room lights. When he opened them again, it was to see his brother with coat and shoes on, talking to Deidara and Kimimaro in a hushed voice. Itachi, sensing he was being watched, glanced over at Sasuke in that instant. From his expression, it looked as though something was wrong. So much so that he sobered up rather quickly. His first thought was of their parents. Remembering how he'd been left in the dark last time, Sasuke immediately got to his feet and walked over to his brother.

"What's wrong?" He asked. "Is it father?"

Itachi's eyebrow quirked in confusion for a second before his brow smoothed out.

"No, it's not father," Itachi answered.

"What is it then? Why do you look like someone died?" Sasuke held onto his brother, getting the sense Itachi had the intention of leaving without explaining anything.

Itachi glanced at the other two men he'd been whispering with and gave a nod.

"Let us know how it goes," Deidara said. "Or I'll be worried all night."

"Let us know if we can be of any help," Kimimaro added before both men joined Hidan and Jiroubou in the kitchen. Whether those two were also in on it, he didn't know.

"What's going on?" Sasuke repeated.

Itachi tightened his scarf. "It's nothing."

"Don't jerk me around, Itachi." He squeezed his brother's arm. "What's going on?"

"Just pass out on the couch, Sasuke. You look drunk."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Don't treat me like a child. Obviously it's something serious."

Itachi gave him a measuring look and then sighed. "I… received a call a friend at one of the downtown precincts. I need to drive there now."

"What do you mean?" Ah, he shouldn't have had so many drinks because it was more difficult than usual to process this information. All he knew was that his nerves had kicked in, and then he was reminded of that feeling he'd had this morning after waking up from a bad dream.

"I don't have time to explain." Itachi pulled his keys out of his coat pocket. "Stay here, and I'll call later with an update."

"An update?" He asked, raising his voice in irritation. "Update about what? The fuck, Itachi? Stop… stop hiding shit from me. Just like last time with father—"

Itachi shot him a withering glare. "That's exactly the reason I _don't_ want to get you involved."

A scary thought occurred to him. So terrifying that his heart dropped into his stomach.

"...Is it Naruto?" He shook his brother. "Did something happen to Naruto?"

Itachi grimaced.

Going light-headed, Sasuke thought he might actually faint. Images of Naruto getting into some accident suddenly appeared in his mind, and all he could think about—

"Sasuke."

When he snapped to, Itachi had his hands on both of Sasuke's shoulders and was shaking him.

"I don't have all of the details," Itachi told him. "But it sounds like Naruto got into a fight. My friend called out of courtesy since he's met Naruto before. I have to go now, though."

"I… I want to go."

"I'm not sure that's—"

Sasuke turned away from him, searching wildly for his coat, scarf, and boots. He had so much trouble lacing his boots up that Itachi sat him down on the chair and tied them for Sasuke. When he finished, his brother held out a hand. Sasuke took it, noticing how sweaty his palm was and that he was actually shaking from fear. Why could he only imagine terrible things? He tried to think about what Naruto could have possibly gotten up to. He had that friend in town… one that was notorious for dragging Naruto into trouble. What kind of fight? If it was serious, wouldn't they be going to the hospital? Sasuke's head was spinning. As soon as he was up on his feet, the both of them were quick to leave Hidan's place. It was with a cold dread that he headed for Itachi's car, nearly slipping once or twice on the icy pavement. Itachi was quiet, too, and that didn't make him feel a whole lot better. He really wanted him to say something. Anything.

"I'm sure he's okay, Sasuke."

He immediately looked away, out the window. All of the shit that had happened between them over the past month—past _several_ months—seemed so petty and stupid now.

While his first concern was making sure Naruto was alive… if it was that friend of his who put Naruto in a dangerous situation, Sasuke wouldn't let him leave Seattle without hunting him down and destroying his very existence. Nobody fucked with the people Sasuke cared for and lived to tell about it. That was something he and his brother definitely had in common.

Uchiha were all about revenge. Push them far enough, and they could become a terrifying enemy. In fact, they could become your _worst_ fucking nightmare.

* * *

Naruto was sitting in a holding cell, trying not to throw up. With his dad out of town (and also not wanting him to know), he'd panicked and had the arresting officer call Itachi. Not that he'd technically been arrested because, for one, the guy apparently knew Itachi Uchiha well and, also, the other people involved hadn't pressed charges. Perhaps because they'd sold drugs to minors. Since Gaara already had a prior run-in with a law as a juvenile, Naruto had told him to beat it. Although reluctant, Gaara finally left and, hopefully, was back at the apartment. Because Naruto's own record was clean, it seemed a good idea at the time, but waiting in the cell with all these other shady characters wasn't exactly how he'd planned on spending the evening. The officer had also taken away all of his belongings. Luckily all they'd found on him was a joint, so he was fairly confident they wouldn't do anything to him except maybe charge a fine. All he knew was that he had to wait here until Itachi came to bail him out or however this worked.

It wasn't until after taking a piss with a couple of other guys watching that an officer came up to the cell, keys jingling in hand, and announced that someone was here to pick him up. Naruto practically sprinted out the door, ignoring a catcall about his ass from some white, Nazi-looking guy. It was with relief that Naruto spotted Itachi from around the corner, talking to the officer who'd brought him in… but it was with surprise (followed by irritation) that he saw Sasuke.

Never would he have expected Itachi to tell Sasuke, but it was even more surprising that Sasuke had come with his brother to a jail. What the fuck? He made his face as blank as possible. He'd been willing to grovel in front of Itachi, but adding Sasuke to the equation only made things awkward and confusing. The first thing he noticed about Sasuke was that… well, he didn't appear entirely sober, but someone like Sasuke could pull that off as just looking really stuck up and bitchy. The second was, because almost as soon as Naruto noticed him, Sasuke turned his way, and, if looks could kill, Naruto would be a goner. It didn't occur to him why Sasuke would be angry, so seeing him with that expression made Naruto angry, too.

The officer beckoned Naruto to the counter. He had papers spread across it, and Itachi was signing them all. There was a check there, too, and not for a small amount.

He swallowed hard. Jesus. How long would it take him to pay _that_ back?

Having not been able to talk to Itachi on the phone personally, Naruto wasn't exactly sure how the older Uchiha brother had reacted to the news of him being brought to the station, nor did he know exactly what the officer told him. However, from the look on the man's face, he could tell Itachi wasn't exactly planning on throwing him a release party. Meanwhile, another officer—a very gruff, older man with a large stomach—handed Naruto his belongings without a word.

He took out his phone and powered it on, wanting to check in with Gaara. The tension was palpable, so Naruto knew that he should keep his mouth shut until further notice. He slipped on his coat and waited patiently, keeping a foot or so distance between himself and Itachi. Sasuke stood on his brother's other side and hadn't spoken a single word since Naruto came out. Eventually, maybe 10 minutes later, Itachi finished the paperwork for his release. The officer gave Naruto another brief lecture about how teenagers shouldn't be hanging around late at night in bad parts of the city. Since the officer had taken it easy on him, he listened and answered respectfully, promising not to ever do it again because that's what people said in these situations. Although still a bit anxious, Naruto was glad he'd been able to spare Gaara this and was also eager to get home and make sure he'd gotten back okay on his own.

It was at that point he was checking his phone for a third time that he felt a tingle at the back of his neck. Looking up, Sasuke was sending him a glare that could have very well been filled with killing intent. Naruto, who didn't even get why he was here, held his own and returned the stare.

"What?" He asked.

"You're such a fucking child," Sasuke spat, turned around, and walked away.

Naruto blinked, watching him walk away. He looked at Itachi questioningly since the older man had witnessed the exchange.

"What crawled up his ass and died?" Naruto asked.

"I have to say I'm also rather disappointed in you myself," Itachi stated, and hearing that from Itachi was one of the most crushing things Naruto had ever been told.

"I-I'm sorry that you had to bail me out like that," Naruto stammered, scratching the base of his skull. "I… got into a bad situation and didn't have much of a choice—"

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "We all have choices. You just chose very unwisely tonight."

"Yeah, I get that, and I _am_ sorry, but why is Sasuke so angry anyway?"

"Do you really have to ask that?" Itachi slipped on his leather gloves.

Naruto became momentarily distracted by the mildly graceful action before his gaze rose to the man's face again.

"It wasn't serious," he argued, getting defensive. "Just a stupid fight."

"I didn't receive the full report until we arrived at the station, so, needless to say, both of us assumed the worst. We didn't know whether you'd been injured. Sasuke was afraid something had happened to you. We were out together when I received the call. He wanted to come."

"...Sasuke did?" Naruto licked his chapped lips. "...Shit."

"I think you know what you need to do." Itachi took a step closer.

Naruto tried not to allow himself to be intimidated, but an angry Itachi could be a scary thing to behold. "What? You want me to apologize to him?" He asked indignantly. "Are you _kiddin'_ me? When he can't apologize to me for all the shit he's—"

" _Naruto_."

He immediately shut his mouth, knowing he did sound like a brat, but why did it always feel like people expected so much of him but Sasuke always got a pass?

"Whatever." He shrugged. "Thanks again for bailin' me out. I'll pay you back somehow."

"I should expect so." Itachi turned his back on him and started walking away.

Watching, Naruto felt incredibly guilty and disappointed in himself, but there's no way he would've sold Gaara out. He might've gotten away if he hadn't spent so much time arguing with Gaara about him taking the rap after some drug deal he made went bad and a fight broke out.

"Tch." Naruto gave the officer one last glance, and the guy actually waved at him.

He offered a nod for some reason, but then he was quick to turn on his heel. It was very possible Itachi would leave without him if he didn't get his ass in gear. Now he'd just have to prepare himself for the longest, most awkward drive home of his life.

* * *

Sasuke, if he'd been driving, would've left Naruto's ass at the station. Actually, he wouldn't have bothered bailing him out. He'd had all of 30 seconds to yell at Itachi before Naruto opened the car door and hopped in without a single apology. With a sigh, Itachi turned the key, and they set off to take Naruto to his apartment. It did hit him then that Naruto was alone. While internally raging he'd forgotten about that friend of his, so he violently grabbed the rearview mirror.

He glared at Naruto. "So, this good friend of yours left you behind, huh? I thought you two were close, but it seems to me he sold your dumb ass out."

"Sasuke, knock it off," Itachi said under his breath.

"Why should I?" Sasuke barked at him. "He inconvenienced you, expected you to bail him out. You can't tell me you're not angry. He should apologize to you?"

"What do you know about apologizing?" He heard Naruto mutter.

"Oh, here we go again." Sasuke threw his hands in the air.

"I just think you should listen to your brother. I'd hate for you to realize yourself what a hypocritical bastard you've been for the last, I dunno, 10 months."

"Go fuck yourself, Naruto."

"Hey, what do you think I've been doin' since your ass rejected me?" Naruto asked mockingly. He wasn't even looking at Sasuke, he had his elbow on the car door and was staring out the window.

"My guess is you've been _doing_ Temari."

Finally, Naruto looked at him, wearing an expression of confusion. If Sasuke could've jumped into the backseat to strangle him, he would have.

"Don't play stupid, Naruto," he said bitterly. "I called you while you were in Chicago and a girl answered. She admitted you'd been in her bed, so I'm tired of your pseudo self-righteousness."

"Okay… first off." Naruto leaned forward in his seat. "I have no fuckin' clue what you're talkin' about. Called me? _When_? And _Temari_? That's Gaara's older sister! I spent the night at their house when I was drunk off my ass and passed out in her bed after throwin' up in her garbage can. So, whatever you decided to assume about me is your own fuckin' problem, Uchiha. I might've fucked up tonight, but that doesn't give you the right to jump down my throat just 'cause you're insecure or whatever."

Sasuke dug into the cupholder, found a quarter and lobbed it at him, hitting Naruto square in the chest.

"And _I'm_ the child?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, you're the child, so I'm going to treat you like one."

"Uh, yeah." Naruto picked up the quarter and pocketed it. "Because you like to throw inanimate objects at children? Wouldn't surprise me. You're like Scrooge and the Grinch combined."

Itachi snorted, and Sasuke turned his glare on him. "Lecture him, Itachi. You'd have my ass if I did this."

"Don't be flattered, Itachi. Sasuke offers his ass up to everyone nowadays," Naruto commented.

Sasuke saw red for a second and moved to unsnap his seatbelt, but then Itachi grabbed for his arm.

"Not while I'm driving." Itachi glanced at the rearview mirror. "Naruto, stop antagonizing him. Regardless of Sasuke's previous actions, this is a separate issue that I would like to discuss with you further at some point. In fact, I do think your father should be notified."

"Ah, shit," Naruto whined. "Don't do that. He'll ground me forever and send Gaara home."

"Maybe it's a good time for you to learn that there are consequences for your actions."

"Have you tried tellin' that to your brother?" Naruto returned, folding his arms against his chest. "Jesus, I said I was sorry. I had a choice and decided not to sell my friend out, and I take responsibility for what happened. It's way more than Sasuke's done."

"Stop making this about me, you asshole!" Sasuke shouted, pushing Itachi's arm away.

"You know what?" Naruto dropped his arms to his sides, fists clenched. "Don't even talk to me. I don't… I just _can't_ deal with you anymore, Sasuke. I used to think… y'know. I used to think your word was law. I respected you. I always thought you were right about everything, but I just don't fuckin' feel that way anymore! I don't have to listen to what you say. You don't have that kinda power over me, so if you think you can take advantage of me because I still lo- "

The blond's eyes instantly widened at his near slip up, and Sasuke had to say, his expression wasn't too dissimilar. It threw him off completely, not quite diffusing his anger, but…

"...Just leave me alone, okay." Naruto went back to staring out the window, and, for a while, Sasuke granted him his wish.

It irked him, though, when he could hear Naruto texting on his phone, his fingers moving furiously and Sasuke just knew that he was messaging Gaara. He didn't know much about Gaara. Because, to be honest, he'd always been a little jealous of him, so he'd often tuned Naruto out when he spoke of the the other boy. The way Naruto went on about him sometimes was just so… _annoying_. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became because Naruto couldn't seem to forgive him this tiny little thing of… well, sleeping with that DJ, and then… horribly rejecting him after his confession and then… ignoring him for the following month and basically pretending that he didn't exist. Yet, Gaara could run off on him and leave Naruto to take the blame, even risking being arrested. What kind of friendship was that _really_? At least Sasuke would never purposely put him in the way of danger.

"You okay, Sasuke?" Itachi asked quietly.

Sasuke suddenly snapped out of his thoughts. "I'm fine. Why?"

"Your hand."

He glanced at his hand, which was gripping the armrest on the door so hard that he couldn't feel his fingers anymore.

"I'm _fine_ ," he repeated.

"Naruto," said Itachi. "Your friend. Do we need to pick him up from somewhere?"

"Uh, no," Naruto answered. "He says he's at the apartment. I didn't have a chance to give 'em my key, so he's been waitin' in the lobby this whole time. Told him I'd be there soon."

"Very well."

Sasuke, biting his lip, turned around in his seat. He didn't even know where to begin.

"What?" Naruto asked. "If you've got somethin' else to say, just say it."

"There is so much I could say to you, Naruto. _So_ much."

"Well, I ain't stoppin' you, so have at it. I'm used to takin' the brunt of your tirades."

He had to laugh as he slid his tongue over his teeth, digging an incisor into it. "Right. I forgot. You're always the victim, hm? How very noble."

"Nah. Not always. Just when it involves you, but who the fuck cares anymore? It's not like I hold it against you that you didn't share the same feelings. Just think it was shitty you were all fine with it when I stuck my tongue in your ass, but in the mornin', you felt different about it."

"Naruto—" Itachi started to say, and they could hear the cringe in his voice.

"Why would you even bring that up in front of my brother?" Sasuke asked, his voice beginning to shake in anger.

"Like your brother doesn't know what we've gotten up to this entire time?"

"I really didn't need to know in detail—" Itachi attempted to cut in, but they ignored him.

"That doesn't mean you need to announce what we do for the whole world to hear!" Sasuke shouted.

"It's not like it's ever gonna happen again, so why are you actin' like such a girl?"

"Oh, I'm acting like a girl, am I?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"Maybe you'd like me to be a girl," Sasuke replied venomously. "After all, that would make it so much more easier on you, wouldn't it? You could parade me around like one of your cheerleaders, and I could brag about how amazing you are in bed without anyone giving us a second glance because I'm sure you'd just _love_ to have people watch us, two _boys_ , walking down the hallway together, holding hands and wearing our matching rainbow pride shirts while screaming faggot in your face. How much would you enjoy that?"

Naruto stared him dead in the eye. "Pretty sure the only one in this car ashamed of your sexuality is you, Sasuke. Don't project your shit onto me. I don't give a shit that you're a dude, but I do give a shit that you're an asshole and treat me like a fuckin' doormat when I thought we were friends. Besides, what the _fuck_ do you care about any of that? You don't even feel the same way as I do, so why entertain the idea of that kinda bullshit anyway?"

"Because I fucking—" _Love you_. The words died on his tongue, thank God.

Naruto's eyes were narrowed and perceptively clear.

"What were you gonna say?" He asked in a low voice.

"Nothing." Sasuke turned around. "You said you'd had enough with talking, so I think we're done here."

"Right," Naruto mumbled. "'Cause it's only over when you say it is."

"Yes, and you always have to have the last word." Sasuke caught Naruto's gaze in the mirror briefly before both of them looked elsewhere.

Itachi, meanwhile, remained deathly silent, not that Sasuke particularly cared at the moment. He stared out the window at the passing cars and the shopfronts still lit up with Christmas lights. Why did he have to be so sober? What he needed to do was get back to Hidan's and drink some more, or nag Deidara to share some of his pot stash with him. Sasuke wasn't sure he believed Naruto about that girl who'd answered the phone, but there was a strange sense of relief that he decided to push to the back of his brain instead of analyze. It wasn't much longer before they pulled up to an empty spot just outside the fence of Naruto's apartment building. No one was speaking, and Naruto didn't look like he was going to go anytime soon.

"What are you waiting for?" Sasuke asked. "An invitation? Get out."

"Shut the _fuck_ up, Sasuke." Naruto undid his belt. "This is more for Itachi, but… again, I'm sorry I asked you to get involved. I didn't know anyone else that could help."

"It's okay, Naruto," said Itachi. "We can discuss it later when everyone's cooled down."

"That's fair… and I'll… pay y'back in installments. I hope that's okay?"

"We'll work something out."

Sasuke looked over at his brother. "Really, that's it?"

"I've also had enough of you, too, Sasuke. While I share your anger over what Naruto did tonight, you're no saint yourself, and you're letting your emotions get the best of you."

"Ha!" Naruto had the audacity to point. "See!"

Sasuke took one look at him. "Get out of the car. We're going to have it out right here and now."

"What?" Naruto scoffed. "You wanna fight me? What, are you? _Twelve_?"

"No. I'm just tired of your shit. You've been running your mouth to anyone and everyone, but did you ever come to me once and say it to my face?"

"Uh, yeah I fuckin' did. Recall me comin' to your house last week and on the phone?"

"As I recall, you tried to avoid me the next day and also ran out of the house. Just like you did that morning, so who's the scaredy cat here, huh? Who's the one who always claims to be so honest and straight-forward but, right here and now, can only come up with passive aggressive comments and snide little remarks. Sorry for not fucking giving you the answer you wanted."

He expected Naruto to yell back, but the blond's expression became… sad.

"Yeah," said Naruto. "Me, too. On that note. I'm outta here. Thanks again, Itachi. Happy New Year if I don't see y'before then. Sorry again for draggin' you into my mess."

Naruto slammed the door before he could respond.

While Sasuke sat there fuming and waiting for his head to explode from anger, he finally snapped. He threw the door open, giving chase after Naruto. It was like his feet moved on his own as he grabbed the hood on Naruto's coat and spun him around. He felt Naruto losing his balance, but took hold of his arm, squeezing it as tight as he could over the puffy jacket.

"What is with you saying I'm the one who always runs away, and there you go again?" He all but screamed in Naruto's face. "Will you just avoid me for the rest of the time you're in Seattle?"

"You're one to talk." Naruto glared at Sasuke's hand. "Get your hand off of me. I'm warnin' you."

Sasuke didn't move an inch. In fact, he pulled him closer, their breaths mingling in the cold winter night. "What are you going to do, Naruto? Hit me?"

"Don't tempt me," Naruto seethed, and, just like always, Sasuke's blood thrummed from being this close, from fighting with Naruto and having his attention. Such a strange sensation to want to beat the shit out of someone and also bend them over.

Their gazes locked, eyes conveying a million more things than words ever could.

"What if you had it all wrong," Sasuke finally said, searching Naruto's face.

"What the fuck is _that_ supposed to mean?" Naruto asked, his brow wrinkling, anger causing his bright blue eyes to shine under the street lights.

So hard not to fucking kiss him. So. Fucking. Hard.

Suddenly, Naruto let out a dark chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Sasuke's voice was quiet and biting.

"You." Naruto pulled his arm away; Sasuke immediately lamented the loss, but brushed it aside.

"Me? Enlighten me, Naruto. How am I being funny right now? Or is this you making jokes about everything like you always do. That is your go-to defense mechanism when you don't want to deal with reality, isn't it?"

Instead of getting angry, Naruto laughed again, stepping away and turning around. He bent over, hands on his knees, and laughed even harder. Sasuke watched, dumbfounded.

"What's funny," Naruto said, wiping at his eyes, and… very slowly and purposely, turned around again to face him, a smirk on his face. He slipped his hands into his coat pockets. "I know you, Sasuke. So well. Better than anyone maybe. I know Itachi knows you well, too, but I know you. I know when you're excited. I know what you were just thinkin' right then. I _know_."

He stiffened. "What is it you think you _know_ , Naruto? Except how to sound like a dumbass."

"Name callin' already, eh? Must've hit a nerve, hm?" Naruto took a couple of steps toward him, one hand dropping from is pocket as he approached Sasuke.

"More like I have no clue what you're talking about." He eyed the blond cautiously.

"You know what?" Naruto asked. "I think I get now why you were so angry earlier."

"Wow, aren't you clever," he replied. "Was it the way you inconvenienced my brother by calling him from jail in the middle of the night because you and your stupid friend—"

"Leave Gaara out of this," Naruto snapped, face becoming almost feral.

"You'd defend someone who let you take his place in jail?" Sasuke asked in all seriousness.

"I told him to go. You don't know the backstory. I would've done the same for you. Or, I would've at one point. It's called _loyalty_ ," Naruto spat. "Try it some time."

"Here's the thing," Sasuke replied, and this time he was the one to take a step forward. "I would never have asked you to take the blame for me. If that's your version of friendship, maybe you being out of my life isn't as big of a loss as you must imagine it to be. In that head of yours where everything is so black and white. Right or wrong. Good or bad. Not all of us choose to live so delusionally. Like the way you plaster on a fake smile, the way you'd rather self-destruct than admit you walk around thinking the universe owes you shit for what you've been through."

"Shut. The _fuck_ up." Naruto's hands formed fists at his side. "I won't tell you again."

"What's this?" Sasuke smirked. "I seem to have hit a nerve."

"Why you—"

Just as Sasuke's body tensed for a blow, a dark figure appeared behind Naruto and grabbed him by the shoulder, preventing his fist from making contact. Even Naruto seemed surprised at first until the blond turned around. Standing next to him was a pale, red-headed teen with dark circles under his eyes. It didn't immediately click who this was, so Sasuke almost went into attack mode since he thought they were about to get mugged. But, then Naruto said _that_ name.

"Gaara." Naruto's surprise turned into obvious relief. "What the hell are you doin'?"

"Wasn't going to jail once tonight enough for you?" The red-head asked.

"Heh. I dunno about that. Pretty sure this fight's been a long time comin'."

"This," said Gaara. "I presume is Sasuke?"

"Uh, you'd presume right," Naruto answered, and, for whatever reason, didn't appear to mind that Gaara still had a hand on his arm. "Not a great time for introductions, though."

"So it seems." Gaara turned his slightly sociopathic gaze to Sasuke.

Sasuke glared back, saying nothing.

"Not quite what I expected," Gaara pronounced slowly. "But, now I understand."

"Not a good time, Gaara. We should go inside. It's cold as fuck out here." Naruto's eyes shifted from his friend to Sasuke again. The fight that had shown in them only minutes earlier had disappeared, replaced by an indifference that Sasuke found he loathed.

"We're not done here," Sasuke said.

"Aren't we?" Naruto asked. "We can talk if you want, Sasuke. Sure. How about you call me when you're ready to stop makin' this about somethin' it's not. Why were you really so angry tonight? Why did you even come? I didn't call you. I called Itachi."

"I came because I wanted to tell you what an idiot I thought you were," he replied coldly.

"Wow, went to all that trouble to call me an idiot?" Naruto asked in a mocking tone. "Yet, when we had a fight about somethin' as serious as my feelings for you, you didn't have anything at all to say to me?"

"It's not like you tried to talk about it either." Sasuke's heart rate picked up, likely from the way Naruto kept looking at him, like he _knew_.

"Uh huh, sure." Naruto nodded vaguely. "'Cause throughout our entire friendship, or relationship. Whatever you wanna call it, I was the one who resolved all our conflicts, givin' in even when you were jealous over my girlfriends or Sai, or Itachi or basically anyone who tries to talk to me."

"That is such bullshit." Sasuke clutched the front of Naruto's coat. "It's bullshit and you know it because who the hell brought you Rin's number? I gave you my blessing."

"Like hell you did," Naruto said, also grabbing onto Sasuke by the front of his coat. "I know how you've tried to manipulate me at times. Just like that night with the DJ. I didn't realize, or I just chose to ignore it because of my feelings for you. Maybe in some twisted way I even thought it was flattering you'd go to such lengths to get my attention or get your revenge. But now… now I see it for what it really is… see you for who you really are. You're just scared. You say I'm the scaredy cat—which who the hell says that, by the way—but you're the one who's scared. Scared to come out, which fine. Great. You don't have to. I was never forcin' you to. Just wanted to be able to hold your hand and kiss you without you freakin' out about your dad walkin' in. Wanted us to be able to go out and date and do the same thing any other couple would do. You said no to that, and I was fine with it. I gave you your space because you made it perfectly clear you didn't feel the same way and also didn't even wanna be friends anymore. Great, fine. 'Cause. Like you said, I think friends shouldn't make you feel like shit about yourself all the time. That's no friend, and I sure as hell wouldn't wanna date someone who made me feel that way either."

"You… _moron_!" Sasuke nearly screamed, pushing Naruto back with a few hurried steps. They went right past Gaara until Sasuke had Naruto up against the iron fence. "You talk like you know everything, but if you knew me at all. At all, Naruto, then you'd know it's a lot more complex than you make it out to be. It's not as simple as saying yes, great, let's hold hands and make out. Everything will just work out wonderful if we believe it will. If we work together. NOT EVERYTHING WORKS LIKE THAT. Not everyone embraces your philosophy on life, which by the way, is completely based around your unwillingness to accept the fact that life is just shitty sometimes, no matter how good you try to be, how kind you are, or even if you're cruel, that people can get away with cruel things and there may be no repercussions."

"Oh, you must be talkin' about you now, eh?" Naruto asked. "Wow, I didn't think you could project any more if you tried tonight. Usually you try to hide it behind some indifferent mask, but you're not doin' such a good job right now. Pretty fuckin' transparent, bastard. Might wanna get a grip before you say somethin' you actually mean."

"Oh?" Sasuke leaned in, smirking and so angry his whole body was shaking. "What is it you think I'm not saying, Naruto? Since you know me so well. Since you know everything there is to know about people, hm? Such a good reader of character, which is why that—" Sasuke turned and glared at Gaara—" _Friend_ allowed you to end up in jail tonight."

"I told you to leave Gaara out of this—"

"He's not wrong, Naruto," Gaara interjected, shocking the both of them.

"Uh… huh?" Naruto, however idiotically, managed to vocalize Sasuke's exact thoughts.

"I didn't want to leave you there. I knew you could get in serious trouble. It wasn't an ideal situation. So, he's not wrong."

"You're my friend," Naruto argued. "You've had my back plenty of times."

"That doesn't mean Sasuke's point is invalid," Gaara replied calmly.

"Whose side are you on anyway?" Naruto shot back.

Gaara simply shrugged. "I'm trying to be objective."

"Well, go be objective in the lobby or somethin'!"

"Sasuke. Naruto." Itachi, having stepped out of the car, approached the three of them as snow began to fall from the overcast sky. "It's late. Someone's going to complain about the noise. This is a conversation the two of you can have at another time. Sasuke, we should get going."

"I'm glad one of you Uchiha was born with some sense," Naruto muttered and, because Sasuke still had a hold of his coat, pulled him forward and slammed him against the fence.

"You have a big mouth," he said.

"Funny. Never heard you complain about my mouth before." Naruto's lips were set in a thin line.

"Hn. And I never heard you complain about what I would do to your mouth."

"Bet y'miss that, huh?" Naruto's mouth quirked. He flashed Sasuke an empty smirk.

"What would it matter? You won't believe anything I say anyway."

Naruto's eyes widened marginally, then rapidly moved back and forth across Sasuke's face.

"Tell me to my face you don't feel the same way," Naruto said in a low voice.

For a second, Sasuke's gaze dropped to Naruto's mouth, then moved up again.

"In your dreams, Naruto."

"Heh. Of course. Sure. Whatever." Naruto gave him a hard push that sent him stumbling backward a step or two. "Why don't you call me when you're willin' to say that you actually care about me instead of pretending you don't. Instead of runnin' away from me all the time."

"Am I running away?" Sasuke asked, his heart pounding in his chest. "Or am I just avoiding what's been holding me back all this time."

"Holdin' you back from what?" Naruto asked. "Gettin' molested by Yagura maybe?"

He shrugged.

"Well, great," said Naruto when Sasuke didn't give a verbal response. "Have fun with that. You've got my _blessing_."

"Good. I'm glad I have your approval."

Naruto looked positively disgusted and, after giving Sasuke one last look, shook his head.

"Let's get outta here, Gaara."

He turned and walked away from Sasuke, who watched as the blond nudged Gaara to get moving and then threw an arm around the teen's shoulders. If he could've set them on fire with a look alone, he would've gladly sold his soul for such a power right then. The snow continued falling, and Sasuke was hit with an intense pang of loneliness. Of loss. Self-hatred. He was so weak. Naruto, though not entirely right, wasn't entirely wrong either.

Did he know? Had he known this entire time how Sasuke truly felt?

No, he didn't think so. Naruto was so insecure, he could've easily thought Sasuke didn't feel the same. But, now. Now it seemed as though Naruto had some idea. He was testing Sasuke. It was as annoying as it was frustrating because, if he really didn't feel the same about Naruto, why did watching him walk away with Gaara drive him near to insanity? He felt the stirring of something in his chest, a tightening. It was becoming more difficult to breathe. The cold air burned the back of his throat as he struggled to inhale more deeply.

Just when he thought he was about to have a panic attack, a strong arm wrapped around his shoulders. Next he knew, his face was being smashed into his brother's chest.

"Not your best moment," Itachi whispered in his ear. "I think he knows."

Sasuke clutched the back of his brother's coat, his entire body shaking. When he felt Itachi's hand stroke the back of his head, he began to make a strange choking noise. There were no tears, only an attempt to bring in air, to find relief, to shatter everything.

"It's okay," Itachi said, though his voice sounded far off. "I'm right here."

Sasuke said something, but the words didn't sound like they came out coherent. What he said, he had no idea, but he remembered leaning heavily on Itachi as his brother got them walking toward the car. His body felt so heavy, like walking was the most impossible thing to do.

"What do you need?" Itachi asked when they were in the car again and Sasuke was mechanically buckling his seat belt, though the idea of getting into a car accident and flying out the windshield didn't sound too horrible right now.

"Just… I want to go home."

"Not back to Hidan's?" Itachi asked, starting the engine.

"No," he said. "Please… Itachi." Sasuke looked over at his brother. "I want to go home."

* * *

 **TBC**

 **Don't forget to review the chapter. Thanks.**


	14. Act III: Worst In Me

a/n: won't come as a surprise, but this isn't the last chapter. it kept going on forever, so, huzzah, we get one more chapter. thanks to the folks who sent me a starbuck's card or a kofi recently. very helpful for me. thank you.

* * *

 _Dedicated to netamashii whose fantastic art has brought them to life many times over since summer._

* * *

 _I think too much, and I hate it_  
 _I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring_  
 _Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence  
_ "Silence" ~ **Marshmello ft. Khalid**

* * *

"And here I thought you'd dumped me for your old childhood friend," Sai said over the phone as Naruto stirred his cup of hot cocoa.

"He's been here a few days is all, of course m'gonna spend some time with him, but how could I ever forget about you?" Naruto smiled slightly, having attempted to block out most of the events of the other night at the police station and after Itachi dropped him off.

"Do you need a DD or something?"

"Jesus, Sai, would you stop bein' a drama queen and say you'll go?"

"...Aren't you worried Sasuke will be there?"

Naruto thread his thumb through the mug handle, rubbing over it anxiously. "I dunno. Rin said he was gonna be doin' somethin' else, but even if he shows up, who cares, right?"

" _You_ do," Sai mumbled, but Naruto ignored it.

"Are you in or _out_ , or is that a silly question?" He sipped at his drink, not really savoring the taste of the chocolate.

"Is taking a stab at my sexuality how you think you'll get me to go with you guys?"

Naruto thought he detected irritation in Sai's voice, so he decided to back off. "...Sorry. I was only kiddin'. I'd like you to go, that's why I asked, but if you've got other plans, it's cool."

"What time are you going?" Sai asked.

Naruto gave an unconscious glance at the clock on the microwave. "Seven to grab somethin' to eat, over there by 9? We'll come and get you."

"I can meet you there. It's out of your way."

"Alright... Is… everything okay?"

"I know what you told me about the other night, and I hate to tell you this, Naruto, but—"

"What?" He asked, brow wrinkling.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm on Sasuke's side."

The other teen hung up, leaving Naruto with his mouth hanging open.

"Tch." He set his phone on the counter and, without having finished his drink, threw the rest of the contents into the sink.

Naruto could still hear the shower going and, not having anything else to do with his own irritation, walked down the hallway to his bedroom, pulling up the waistband of his pajama pants on the way. There were clothes scattered all over the floor. Gaara hated the clutter, so he'd been sleeping on the couch, even though Naruto had offered his dad's bed. It's not as if he didn't know he'd fucked up, but he'd only felt bad about inconveniencing Itachi. _Disappointing_ the older man didn't feel great either; it's just that protecting Gaara… he'd do it all over again if he had the chance. Sasuke, he knew, while some of that might've been genuine concern—Sasuke was cold, but he wasn't _completely_ soulless—a lot of it seemed to be a case of misplaced anger. Naruto wanted to punch him in the face for being so oblivious and stubborn. That was saying a lot given those were qualities people frequently used to describe himself.

For the time being, he'd decided to push it to the side and ignore it. He wasn't in a place where he wanted to second guess the things Sasuke told him that day. Even if Sasuke really did feel the same, it didn't excuse his behavior, those things he'd said, or the the whole month he'd spent ignoring him. So, _what_? He got worried when he thought Naruto had been hurt? Yeah, well. If Naruto had learned anything from having lost his mom, it would be to fucking appreciate the people in your life while they were _alive_. Eventually there would be a day Sasuke would understand this concept. Until then, Naruto could only, surprisingly, see him as immature. Wasn't it just little kids who lashed out at the person they liked because they were too afraid to say how they really felt? Did Sasuke _truly_ think it had been easy to tell him his feelings?

Holy shit; that night he'd nearly had a heart attack trying to work up the courage to confess!

There might've been a small part of him (a very sadistic part) that didn't mind the idea of running into Sasuke tonight because there's a lot he _could_ say. They definitely would've gotten into it if Gaara and Itachi hadn't interfered. Not that he wanted to cause drama for Rin, but, in that moment, the thought of fighting Sasuke for real… _excited_ him. Maybe it was that stupidly pretty face or those damn dark eyes of his that could stop his train of thought with one look.

Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, Naruto stared at the photos of friends pinned above his dresser. There were some of Sasuke. He got up and went over to look. Taking the pin out of one, Naruto held it close to his face. It was Sasuke at one of his gigs, playing his black and white Fender, hair sticking with sweat to his forehead and cheeks. Despite how hurt he continued to feel, it didn't stop his chest from swelling with pride. Sasuke's potential was just so…

It had him in awe. It always had.

In his heart, he knew Sasuke would be successful at whatever he did in life. So, there was definitely a feeling of being left behind after getting rejected so horribly. Sasuke didn't need him around in order to become successful. It felt like he'd be fine whether Naruto was at his side or not, whether as friends or… otherwise. Whereas, for Naruto… he felt more himself while at Sasuke's side. He felt… understood. Even if they were both so very different.

"Naruto?"

Naruto nearly dropped the photo he'd been holding when he saw Gaara, towel around his waist, standing in the doorway.

"Uh…" He grinned, put the photo back, and scratched behind his head.

Gaara raised an eyebrow. "Is that friend of yours going tonight?"

"I think so. He was kinda pissed at me, I think? ...Heh."

"Why are you laughing?" Gaara took a step into the room, though he did give a wary glance at the pile of clothes on the floor.

"Nervous, I guess."

"Why? Because you think he and Sasuke had a point?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, turning his back on his friend to glance at his dark laptop screen. He could see Gaara in the reflection, looking somewhat disapproving.

"Are you gonna ride my ass, too?" He asked, voice considerably colder than seconds earlier.

"If you feel bad about it," said Gaara. "Apologize. Him not apologizing to you doesn't have anything to do with it. As long as I've known you, you've always done the right thing. As annoying as it's been sometimes."

Naruto looked at him over his shoulder. "I'm annoying, eh?" He gave an empty laugh while tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. "I get that a lot. Must be true, huh? To have so many people say it?"

"It's too early in the night for you to already be feeling sorry for yourself," said Gaara, and, coming up behind him, slapped Naruto hard on the back.

"Ow, what the hell?" Naruto rounded on him, grabbing his friend's arms until they were playfighting out into the hallway.

"Watch the towel, Uzumaki," Gaara growled. "Your boyfriend might get jealous."

"Oh. Aren't _you_ the one who's jealous?" Naruto taunted, trying to trip him up.

"Hardly. I already know you hope he shows up tonight."

"Shut up, you don't know what you're talkin' about!" Naruto finally got him pinned face-first into the wall, one arm behind his back. "Take that. At least Sasuke would've put up more of a fight."

"Yeah, since that's how the two of you seem to get off."

"Tch." Naruto pushed him away. He wasn't wrong, but no need to say it out loud. "Who cares whether he's there or not? Sasuke can be a bit of a pussy, so he probably won't even have the balls to show up. If he does show up, what can I say, I might feel some respect for him again."

"I wonder," said Gaara, using the towel around his neck to dry his hair, "If you see him tonight, will you end up trying to punch him… or kiss him? Because it looked to me both of you were about to go at it on the sidewalk. Right in front of us unfortunate bystanders."

"If by 'go at it' you mean we were gonna fight, then sure. It's been building for a while now." Naruto, spinning on his heels, leaned against the wall.

"Either way, it's clear you need closure, and Sasuke, well, I think what he needs only you can give him." Gaara gave him a long look, but Naruto didn't immediately understand.

"Meaning what?" He asked.

"Seriously?" Gaara walked by him, into the bathroom. "You really are as dumb as you look."

Naruto followed, calling his name until, eventually, Gaara slammed the door in his face when he wouldn't get out of the doorway. For a minute, he knocked on the door, wanting to annoy his friend further, but then he was left to wonder what Gaara meant. Something Sasuke needed that only he could give him? While Naruto was leaning with his back to the door, it suddenly opened, and he nearly fell as he slipped on the wet tiles. Gaara caught him by the elbow.

"A good fucking," Gaara answered. "That's what Sasuke needs. For you. To fuck his brains out. It's what he's waiting for whether he'll admit to it or not. It's obvious he's into you, Naruto. Only you two know the reason, or maybe only him, or maybe he doesn't even know. Even I can tell. His brother can tell, and I'm surprised other people at your school can't tell, but it figures you might hang with a bunch of dumbasses. Sasuke loves you. Both of you need to grow up, fuck, and then move on with your lives."

After that, while Naruto stood with his mouth hanging open (for a second time), Gaara pushed him out of the room and slammed the door in his face again.

"Well… shit."

He blinked at the door, wanting to knock on it, but then let his hand drop to his side.

"Okay, then," Naruto muttered. "Good talk."

* * *

"I was surprised to get a call from you. And _why_ the _fuck_ are we here? This place makes me feel so suburban," Yagura complained dramatically.

Sasuke, wearing a tight frown, pushed some shirts aside on the circular rack. "Has anyone ever told you that you bitch an awful lot for a grown man?"

"I'm flattered you consider me a grown man," Yagura returned breezily, sending him a wink when Sasuke looked up from a short-sleeve shirt he'd been eyeing.

The older teen took it off the rack and held it to Sasuke's torso.

"It'd look good on you." Yagura nodded approvingly. "But," he raised his eyes. "Who are you tryin' to impress exactly? Not me. So, someone else? Expectin' to run into anyone tonight?"

"Not unless you're inviting a lot of people to your apartment." He grabbed the shirt from Yagura and wandered over to a turnstile with men's bracelets and watches.

Yagura followed. Sasuke knew what the singer was trying to get at, but he had no intention of going to Rin's party. He'd been forewarned by her already that Naruto planned on stopping by and would be bringing Gaara and another friend (Sasuke assumed it to be Sai, but maybe he'd picked up an additional hoodlum friend from the other night at the bar).

Hell, maybe he'd found a new friend while incarcerated at the station. Wouldn't that be lovely.

" _Sasuke_!"

"What?" He snapped, turning to look over his shoulder at the other teen.

Yagura clucked his tongue. "You fuckin' asswipe."

" _What_?"

"I was talkin' to you—" The young man's eyes narrowed. "Nevermind. Watchin' you self-destruct tonight will be a lotta fun, so go on and continue your girly little shoppin' spree. I'm gonna go to Starbuck's and order some goddamn coffee if you're gonna be a fuckin' bitch."

Sasuke had already stopped listening and didn't bother to send him off with so much as a glare. He picked up a brown leather band he liked and fastened it around his wrist. It looked more like something Naruto would wear than Sasuke's style.

"Sir," an upbeat young woman said from behind him, her bright look darkening when he looked up. He must've been glaring, but that's what nosy salespeople get for bothering customers while they were browsing. Did it look like he was approachable right now? It wasn't his fault if she couldn't read the fucking mood and was an oblivious idiot. How did people like this live that long? Still, she persisted after clearing her throat and plastering on that phony smile again.

"Can I help you with anything? Just so you know colognes are fifty per-"

In the middle of her sales pitch, Sasuke turned away. When he passed by the clothing display where he'd picked up the shirt, he jammed it back on the rack and walked out of the store.

* * *

"Gaara, this is Sai, Sai this is Gaara."

The three teenagers were standing near the coat rack. The restaurant was already abuzz with patrons. Luckily there'd been a cancellation at the last minute, so Naruto'd been able to make reservations. He knew it would be busy, but not being a fancy place, he thought it would be less crowded. That was fine, he was in the mood to be around _lively_ people. With Gaara and Sai constantly sizing each other up tonight, it wasn't as if they were all starting off on the right foot.

Naruto hadn't even had a drink yet, but now he was in dire need of one. He supposed calling Itachi to come and order wine for him might not be the brightest idea.

Eventually Gaara held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you."

Sai, visibly loosening up, took hold of the redhead's hand and shook it.

After that, they seemed fine enough as Gaara, having at least some social skills, asked Sai a few questions about himself and, Sai, loving to talk about himself, easily took the bait. Not that Sai was especially superficial or self-absorbed, it was more that it took him longer than the average person to become interested in another person's existence. At least enough to ask them personal questions. Although, with him, Sai had warmed up fairly quickly. Naruto smiled at Gaara's making an effort to socialize. It wasn't his forte either, but he was likely doing it to make Naruto happy. Then again, Gaara was a person who did his own thing for his own reasons, and Naruto liked that about him. In fact, he liked to surround himself with people who enjoyed being their own person. If that made sense. However, in the back of his mind he heard Sasuke's voice saying: _That doesn't seem to be the case with the girlfriend's you choose_.

It was true Naruto dated cheerleaders. He liked upbeat girls, or even girls who were a little more wild. Dating in high school—as they'd talked about the first week they'd met—wasn't something Naruto took seriously. It was dating. It was _normal_ for teens to do. He doubted Sasuke would even like the act of dating since he'd be certain to think of it as forced socialization or caving to some archaic patriarchal institution or whatever he'd once said about it. Naruto agreed to some extent, but he considered it more like a right of passage. He didn't think you had to be in love with someone to date them. You just had to be able to get along, have fun, and have a few things in common so that the conversation flowed easily. He did notice he got bored easily. Putting the romantic interest he learned he had in Sasuke aside—even as friends there was something _electric_ about being in his company.

For as long as they'd known each other, Sasuke thrilled him, challenged him, kept him on his toes, and made Naruto feel so… what was the word?

 _Exhilarated…_

He heard it in his own voice, echoed from another time. When things weren't so busted and broken between the two of them. Now though, their relationship was full of unnecessary drama. While it excited him, it also made him feel as though he was gradually drifting away from Sasuke and what they had. He wondered if this was him moving on, but then he thought of the way Sasuke looked at him the other night. Naruto knew that Sasuke wanted to kiss him. He'd seen that look a million times and felt that spark of electricity whenever their bodies were close.

" _Naruto_."

Naruto glanced up from his menu. "Huh?"

"Sai was asking you what you wanted," Gaara followed up for Sai. "You spaced out."

"Did I?" He forced a chuckle. "Guess there are too many choices. Must've scrambled my brain. Surprised there wasn't smoke comin' out of it while I was sittin' here."

Because he could tell by their faces that neither believed him, Naruto immediately returned to staring at the menu. He knew Sai knew that he always got the same thing, but he didn't want to talk about Sasuke tonight. He didn't want them to think he was thinking about Sasuke.

Because he wasn't. Or, well. He wasn't going to from now on. They were going to have a nice meal, maybe go to Sai's for some pre-partying drinks, and then to Rin's for more drinks.

The thought of hanging out with Rin perked him up. She was upbeat and cool. They'd spoken earlier on the phone since he wanted to confirm that he was bringing two guests. He hadn't asked, but she'd told him she hadn't yet heard if Sasuke would be stopping by the party.

"Guess I'll get the—"

"Classic," Sai finished for him before clapping the menu shut. "I'll share it with you."

"Heh." Naruto smiled at him. "Thought you'd scold me for orderin' the same thing."

"I have better things I could be scolding you for," Sai replied, but he at least offered him a grin.

"Gaara, you want in on this?" Naruto turned to him, but Gaara appeared deep in thought. "What's up with you?"

"Hm?" Slowly, the other teen raised his eyes.

"Too many choices for ya?" He asked.

"I was just thinking," Gaara replied without elaborating. "That one sounds fine. It's interesting they have Chicago-style pizza in Seattle."

"I like it. Comforting in a way." He grabbed for his water and sipped, itching to check his phone.

"You've always been sentimental," Gaara murmured, picking up his Dr Pepper.

"I've always thought the same," Sai added.

"Oi, you two are gonna gang up on me all night, aren't you?" Naruto didn't take offense. He knew Sai would warm up to him as the night went on (and also more toward Gaara, too).

"Someone has to keep you in check." Sai threw a balled up straw wrapper at him.

"What's with people throwin' shit at me lately?" Naruto asked.

"What?" Sai smirked. "You mean shade?"

Rolling his eyes, Naruto snorted. "See what I put up with?" He asked Gaara.

"You've definitely met some very interesting people here," Gaara answered. "But it does seem like they keep you on your toes. You're unlikely to get bored anytime soon. I'm also interested in meeting this Rin. Everyone in your life seems… very colorful."

"Is that a stab at Sai's sexuality?" Naruto leaned into the boy, nudging him with an elbow.

"Only if he's also implying Sasuke is gay," Sai stated casually, and yet Naruto lost control of his neutral expression for a fraction of a second.

Sai glanced over.

"Naruto?" He asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost?"

"I do?" Naruto forced a laugh. "Nah. Just hungry. Haven't eaten much all day. Have we, Gaara?"

"I guess." Gaara shrugged.

"Where's the waitress?" Naruto mumbled fidgeting in his seat as he looked around the room for the older woman.

"You seem nervous," Gaara said in a low voice. "Are you going to make it through the night?"

"I'll be fine. Why? Worried about me?" He smiled, thinking it wasn't surprising how easy it was for Gaara to read him right now.

"I think you can handle yourself, but at the same time, I do peg this Sasuke as a fairly unpredictable person. Or, I should say that the two of you, when you come into contact, seem to have a rather strong, unpredictable effect on one another."

"You think?" Naruto, averting his eyes, picked up his glass again and sipped from the straw. Ah. Gaara really was far too perceptive. He couldn't hide anything from him.

"I'll have your back, though. If you're worried."

"I'm not worried," he said under his breath. "You always do."

Then, Naruto turned to Sai, not wanting to exclude him from the conversation since it probably looked as if they were conspiring.

"I was tellin' Gaara how much you think my dancin' sucks. I bet we're gonna be dancin' tonight."

"It's a New Year's party," Sai said flatly, "Not a Halloween party. So, you shouldn't be trying to scare everyone away."

"Har har." Naruto leaned into him. "I've learned a few lessons from you and your friends. I'd say I'm much better than I was 10 months ago."

"I'd need another 10 years to make much of a difference," Sai replied, smiling in full this time.

"Well, teach me a few more tonight then. Or, I'll be your wingman. Should be lots of hot dudes there tonight. I told Rin to introduce us to anyone she thinks is cool."

"We'll see. Are you excited to see Rin again?"

"Uh…" Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I am actually. Haven't seen her since that one night, but I've talked to her. Will be… nice, but I'm also here with you guys, so…"

Sai put up a hand. "I understand. Part of me hopes Sasuke won't turn up tonight, so we can avoid drama, but at the same time it feels weird the two of you still aren't on speaking terms."

"You're gettin' soft on Sasuke, eh?" Naruto asked, reading the other boy's face closely.

"I never thought of him that way. But if you ignore his personality, he's a good looking guy with some not so horrible qualities."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? Somethin' you wanna tell me?"

"I don't know. Anything you want to tell _me_?"

"What do you mean?"

Sai searched him for a while before replying, "Nothing."

The waitress finally returned, and Naruto was so grateful for her timing that he nearly knocked over his water trying to gather the menus for her. After he ordered their pizza and some breadsticks, they did end up falling into an easy conversation. Gaara was more of a listener, so it was mostly Naruto and Sai doing the talking., though in the back of his mind, Naruto kept experiencing this niggling sensation that Sai had something on his mind but wasn't coming out and saying it. Then again, it was also possible Naruto was simply being paranoid.

Still, he didn't let it bother him because once they made it back to Sai's for drinks later, there'd be much more fun things to talk about like…

Who the hell was Naruto going to kiss when the ball dropped at midnight?

* * *

Sasuke had been staring at the same spot on the wall for 10 minutes. With a drink in hand, he closed his eyes as he listened to the music playing in the background. Yagura was haphazardly slamming cabinet doors, and it was almost enough to keep him grounded in the moment. They'd been drinking hard and _a lot_ already. It felt great.

 _Love only left me alone_

 _But I'm at one with the silence_

Eventually Yagura came back into the room, double-fisting two red solo cups, one of which he passed to Sasuke just as he finished his previous vodka-infused Coca-Cola.

"I like this line," said Yagura and sang, "I found peace in your violence."

Sasuke grunted, taking a sip of yet another pungent cocktail.

"What do ya think it means?" Yagura plopped down beside him on the couch, a little too close for Sasuke's comfort, but he wasn't in the mood to expend energy on it.

He wished the singer would stop talking. He talked too damn much. Like Naruto. He'd scanned the blond's social media earlier and knew he was out with Sai and Gaara. It irritated him. How could Naruto not realize that Gaara was a bad influence? Was he trying to rub it in Sasuke's face that he was fine without him because he had so many other friends?

"Makes me think of you," Yagura continued, words slurring together. "Always thought you were a masochist."

"Shut up," Sasuke replied, his voice coming out hoarse.

"You've been pretty pissy today." Yagura flipped his hair behind his shoulder. "I'm used to it by now, but it's even gettin' on my nerves. Thought drinkin' would cool you off, but it seems to have made it worse. Not that it's my problem. Why don't you just go? Stop broodin' like a little bitch, and if he's there—punch him, kiss him, beat the shit out of him. Or just fuckin' ignore him, Sasuke. It's not like you to let people get to you like this. Always thought you were so cool." Yagura scoffed mockingly, shaking his drink in the air. "Now it's like you're on your period 24/7."

Turning his head, Sasuke let loose a glare that would've shriveled the balls off of anyone else, had them scampering away into the closest hole, but with Yagura… the effect on someone so narcissistic and self-centered was nearly lost. Oblivious wasn't the right word. He just didn't give a fuck about people's feelings, which if Sasuke was honest, was an appealing quality.

Yagura, even if people didn't want to hear it or appreciate it, spoke the truth. He didn't do it tactfully, but sometimes neither did Sasuke. At least he knew what he was getting. Unlike Naruto. Being with Naruto was unpredictable. Something that, for him, was both exhilarating and terrifying. He brought those qualities out in Sasuke, too. Emotions, which he'd never had difficulty controlling before he'd moved to Seattle, suddenly felt raw and tumultuous. The other night when they'd been close to fighting, it had sparked that feeling. Made him lose himself, and he hated that. He hated that Naruto could have that effect on him, so much that—deep, _deep_ down—there was a part of him that wished Naruto would disappear. If Naruto did disappear, would this feeling go away? Didn't he want it to? Was Yagura right and Sasuke was afraid to see him tonight? Afraid, though? Really? _Him_? Sasuke Uchiha?

"You, uh. Kinda got somethin' on your face there," Yagura said suddenly, leaning into his space and excruciatingly close to Sasuke's face. "I think they call it murderous intent."

"You really think I should go?" He murmured.

"Huh? What? To the party?" Yagura scratched the back of his head and then threw his arm around Sasuke's shoulders. "I mean, not really. I think it'll be a bunch of lesbos and other pretentious debutantes from the scene, but… I think it'd be hella entertainin' if you ran into that blond. If you think you can put up with him mackin' on Rin right in front of you."

"I like Rin," he replied, meeting the older teen's gaze. "Naruto is free to do what he wants."

"That's what your mouth says, but those pretty eyes of yours are sayin' somethin' completely different." Laughing, Yagura slapped his thigh. "Ya can't even be honest with yourself, can you? I'm findin' this hilarious as fuck. Yeah, let's go. I think it'll be a blast."

"You don't have to go."

"No, no. I wanna go. We can Uber there. I'm already too far gone to drive us. Ah, wanna bring one of the guitars? In case we have an impromptu jam session?"

"Only if you want," he replied, picking at a string on the knee of his ripped black jeans.

Sasuke glanced up when Yagura covered the naked part of his knee with his hand, flashing him a rather sly look.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked.

"If your boy turns you down tonight, I might be willin' to let you pop my gay cherry."

He sneered. "That will _never_ happen."

Yagura shrugged, removing his hand. "Ya never know. Just sayin' I'm willin' to provide that kind of comfort just to make sure your bipolar tendencies of late won't fuck up the band."

"Of all the things you've ever said, that will go down in history as one of the most moronic."

"Sure, babe." Yagura got to his feet and lightly slapped Sasuke's right cheek. "Whatever you say. Talk to me when you realize that boy is over you and tired of your shit."

He walked off, leaving Sasuke alone on the couch. The emotions stirring within him were hard to pinpoint, having been muddled by the alcohol. There was anger, resentment, jealousy… a desire to hurt, but, most of all, there was a desire to see Naruto. To feel that thing that occurred whenever they first made eye contact or were simply in the same room. Would Naruto confront him, or would he play it cool and try to ignore Sasuke? He would bet on the latter. Even without being sober, he knew Naruto well enough that he wouldn't start drama if he could help it. Not at Rin's place, not in front of her. Naruto would consider that rude. Yet, Sasuke knew he was very capable of eliciting a reaction out of Naruto in the same way Naruto did him. He knew how to manipulate that, but as Yagura pointed out, even Sasuke was tired of the mind games.

When he reappeared from his bedroom, Yagura had his acoustic guitar strapped to his back, coat and hat on, and was checking his phone.

"Our Uber'll be here in five, we should head out. Get your coat."

Sasuke stood slowly, wobbling as Yagura snatched the cup from his hand without taking his eyes off the screen. He went to retrieve his coat from the back of one of the chairs and, with sluggish movements, managed to get his arms through the sleeves. When he was ready, he came to a stop at Yagura's side. The older teen's silver hair was slicked back. He wore a gray leather jacket and a hint of black eyeliner that brought out the purple of his color contacts. Being an attention whore, he was always wearing different colored contacts.

Yagura gave him a hard slap to the back. "Snap out of it."

As annoying as the gesture was, it worked. Sasuke roused himself from his thoughts, which felt as though they were turning especially dark. There was anxiety swirling below the surface of all of those other things he'd been sensing earlier. Something would happen tonight, for better or worse. He didn't intend to instigate it. It was more like a premonition. If he didn't go, nothing would change, but if he _did_ go… Sasuke thought he'd get his answers one way or another.

* * *

When the three of them arrived at Rin's, the apartment was already crowded. There was loud music and food and drinks set out. There were a fuck ton of guitars around, too. It was obvious most of these people were musicians, almost making him feel like a groupie since neither himself, Gaara, or Sai had any real musical talent. No, scratch that. He'd heard Gaara play the piano once, and Sai had a really good singing voice. Naruto, on the other hand, was tone deaf, though it didn't ever stop him from singing in the car or shower.

Almost on reflex, he gave the crowd a quick scan, inquisitive blue eyes searching out that stylish haircut that belonged solely to Sasuke Uchiha. Not seeing him, Naruto felt himself breathe a sigh of relief, but at the same time, there was something else. Disappointment? He doubted it. He hadn't expected Sasuke to show up. He didn't like parties, and he certainly knew that Naruto would be here. Considering this past month, he'd bet on Sasuke continuing to avoid him.

Gaara wasn't one for crowds or parties either. He had basically come to humor Naruto. Sai, meanwhile, loved parties and had already wandered off on his own, having seen someone he knew. That left Naruto and Gaara. Naruto took off his coat upon seeing a rack next to one of the brick walls. He took Gaara's, as well, and hung them up with the rest.

"Well, which one's Rin?" Gaara asked, standing next to him.

Gaara had borrowed some of Naruto's clothes for tonight since most of his attire consisted of hoodies and jeans. He looked good in one of Naruto's olive green sweaters and a nicer pair of jeans. Naruto had on one of the new shirts his dad bought him for Christmas (they had fairly similar tastes, with Naruto occasionally wearing his dad's sweaters and button-up shirts). It was a long-sleeve, tighter fitting gray shirt with thin navy blue lines that covered only the front. The blue jeans were new, too, as was the brown belt and beanie he'd been wearing all night.

"Hey there, stranger!"

A smile already in place, Naruto turned just in time to have Rin crash into him. With her own big grin, she gave him a hug and even a kiss on the cheek before turning to greet Gaara.

"Hello," she said brightly, tucking her auburn hair behind an ear. She held out her small hand. "I'm Rin Nohara. You must be Gaara."

"I am," said Gaara, taking hold of her hand and offering a polite smile. "I've heard a lot about you from Naruto. Thanks for the invite. Naruto's been looking forward to it all day."

"Ah, shit, Gaara. Really?" Naruto flushed beet red and scratched at the back of his head, peeling off his beanie and shoving it into his back pocket.

"No?" Rin asked. "You weren't excited to see me again and come to my party?"

Her fake pout really melted his heart. Having been in a down mood most of the evening, her cheerfulness and genuine pleasure at seeing him led Naruto to pick her up again in a bear hug.

Rin gave him a playful kick. "Put me down! I'm older than you!"

Naruto did set her down. She looked as cute and stylish as usual. She had on a short, black cropped jacket, gray tank top that tied above her stomach, a mid-thigh black skirt with zippers on the pockets, patterned tights, and chunky, mid-calf black boots with three silver buckles.

"Only by a couple of years," he remarked, itching to tuck a wayward strand of bang to the side. "By the way, Sai's here, but he already saw someone he knew. Surprisingly, the guy's a social butterfly when it comes to parties."

"Why surprisingly?"

Naruto became distracted by a tiny piece of something that was on her eyebrow and smoothed it off with his thumb. When he realized he'd moved on instinct, he let his arm drop to his side. He laughed awkwardly.

"Sorry, you had a little somethin'." He shrugged and dug his hands into his pockets.

"It's okay." Rin bit her lip. "Well, if you follow me to the kitchen, I'll get you a couple glasses of the good stuff." She gave him a wink. "Not that I'm tryin' to get you drunk or anything."

"Oi, Rin. Tryin' to take advantage of me already? S'okay. We drank some at Sai's."

He and Gaara followed her into the kitchen where she introduced them to several of her friends who'd gathered next to the refrigerator. There were a couple new photos on the fridge, and Naruto checked them out, wincing when he saw one with Sasuke in the background.

Rin noticed him looking. "That's from rehearsal for our show."

"It's okay." He smiled at her to show it was cool. "It's a good picture. I know you were excited to have him play with your band, and Sasuke's a really great musician."

"He is. I still haven't heard that he's stopping by, so... "

"If he does," said Naruto, "We can be civil. I doubt either of us would want to cause a scene at your party. No worries."

"I'm not really worried," she replied, her smile waning. "It still makes me sad. Like I told you. I'd rather the two of you make up. In fact, I was hoping he would come so you two could talk it out. But, from what you told me, I suppose there's still some, you know, resentment."

"That's puttin' it mildly," he said, sighing. This wasn't a subject he wanted to continue. "How's that trip comin' along for spring? Excited to see your family?"

"Uh, yes." She opened the fridge and pulled out a couple of different bottles. "I've got my ticket and all that, and I've been eyeing a new suitcase. What about you?"

"I don't think I'll be goin' to Brazil this spring…"

Rin laughed. "No, I mean any other trips. Since you just went to Chicago. When are you heading back, Gaara?"

"Day after tomorrow," Gaara answered. He'd been busy observing his surroundings, often liking to size up the people around him. It took him time to warm up to new environments.

"Nah. I don't have any upcoming trips in mind, though I'd like to go to Vancouver or Portland soon. Maybe to snowboard. Haven't done it in so long, probably gettin' rusty. Gaara and I used to go to a place in Northern Illinois, but, yeah. Then my mom got sick, so didn't get out much."

Rin nodded, handing both of them their drinks. "I hope you like. Should be strong, but not too sweet. Um, I have to check on a few folks I promised to talk to, but let's bump into each other soon, yeah? Let me know if you need anything. Make yourself at home, and if it gets too crowded and either of you need room to breathe, you can hide in my bedroom."

"Heh. I like parties and meetin' new people," he said. "Gaara, though. Might take you up on your offer. Eh, Gaara?"

Gaara gave him a bland look. "I think I can manage."

Rin laughed, much to Naruto's annoyance.

"Don't encourage him," Naruto told her, though he smiled.

"I can tell he knows you well." Rin touched his arm briefly. "Have fun, okay? I'll check up on you in a little. Your friend's welcome to help himself, too, if you ever find him again. Lots more people showed up than I expected, but it's nice, right? We'll be playing some stuff later."

"Sounds good."

Naruto watched her go, feeling momentarily light as she left the kitchen and headed for the living room. His gaze swept back toward Gaara, who was giving him a look.

"What?" He asked.

Gaara's thin eyebrow was arched. "Nothing."

"Oh, c'mon. You've got somethin' to say. I can tell. You didn't like her?"

"No, I do. She reminds me of you."

"So, what is it?"

The other boy shrugged. "It's nothing."

That irritated him. Gaara wasn't usually one to mince words.

"Alright, well, whatever," he said. "Can we get out of here, though? Startin' to get a little crowded. Maybe we should go and find Sai."

Right after that, the music in the living room increased exponentially in volume, a popular hip-hop song they seemed to always play in the clubs these days. When they walked out into the hallway, several of the lights in the living room had turned off, and there was a hanging strobe light where the stereo was set up (next to a large-screen TV). A lot of people were clearly already tipsy or drunk. A few of the girls were dancing in groups. Naruto smiled. A lot of them were pretty cute. He watched for a while, just enjoying the fact people were having a good time. He hoped some of it would rub off on him and, actually, it was starting to lift his mood.

"What do you think about dancin'?" Naruto asked Gaara, already knowing the answer.

"I think you already know the answer to that."

"Heh. I'd go, but what if Sai's right and I scare everyone away?"

"I don't think you'd care if you did," Gaara replied. "You always do what you want to do."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, taking it in a negative context.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way." Gaara's tone also changed. "I meant it's not usually like you to care what other people think. If you want to dance, then dance. Find Rin or Sai."

"Fine. You're right. I should do what I want and stop givin' a fuck what other people think." He sipped at his drink, mouth puckering. God, that _was_ strong. "I deserve to have a good time."

"I never said you didn't."

Naruto glanced at Gaara, unsure why his friend was giving him a hard time.

"What's up with you?" He asked.

"I should ask the same," Gaara replied.

Naruto shook his head. "I'm not in the mood for this, man. If you're gonna be cryptic, I'm just gonna start gettin' pissy."

"You've been pissy on your own lately anyway."

"For Christ's sake, drink your drink." He pushed it toward Gaara, who swatted his hand away.

"Just because you're pissed at Sasuke doesn't mean you should be taking it out on me. Or Sai. Or anyone. If you've got a problem with him, deal with it."

"How exactly am I supposed to do that if he's not here and always avoidin' me?"

Gaara shrugged. "Well, you seem to know everything. You figure it out."

With that, Gaara walked away from him and headed toward a less crowded corner of the large living space while Naruto was left standing there on his own.

He wasn't alone long, however, as almost a minute later, his arm was grabbed and he was dragged toward the dance floor by Sai, who immediately put him into place and started dancing with him. Naruto stood there, staring. He could only manage to blink.

"Don't embarrass me," said Sai. "Also, I'm trying to make that guy over there jealous, so act like you're into me. Don't dance like a straight boy either. Dance like I taught you."

Naruto tried to look and see who Sai was referring to, but when he did, Sai put a hand to his cheek and wouldn't let him.

"Don't look!" Sai scolded. "You're being too obvious."

"Jesus, do we really have to do this?"

Sai raised an eyebrow. "Yes."

"Fine, fine." Naruto let Sai put a hand on his hip and began to dance with him. It wasn't too unusual given they'd gone out to clubs together a lot. To be fair, Sai was a good dancer.

"Good boy," said Sai. "And here I thought you were only obedient when it came to Sasuke."

Naruto stiffened, but Sai gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"I'm kidding. You don't have to think about Sasuke tonight if you don't want."

"Glad I've got your permission," he mumbled.

"What was that?" Sai asked. The music had become even louder.

"Nothing," he said. "Just keep your hands above the waist."

Sai smiled and wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck.

"Of course, dear." Sai grinned. "Whatever you say."

Naruto chuckled, gripping at one side of Sai's slim waist. "You're such a bastard. Y'know that? Aaah, but thanks for makin' me laugh. I was startin' to get uptight."

"I know," said Sai. "I could tell."

"You know me pretty well, huh?"

"I think so. I think Sasuke knows you better."

"I thought you said—"

"That's the last thing I'll say," Sai cut him off. "Now shut up and make that guy over there notice how good my ass looks in these jeans."

"What about _my_ ass?" Naruto asked.

"Your ass always looks good, so shut the fuck up and stop bragging." Sai stuck his nose in the air, actually appearing offended.

Naruto laughed aloud. "My ass _is_ pretty nice, isn't it? Takes a lotta work to look this good."

"At least you're modest."

"That makes one of us," he returned, grinning widely now.

"Touché, Uzumaki," said Sai. "Touché."

* * *

Before they entered Rin's apartment complex, he and Yagura found a spot against the wall (away from the entrance) where they could share a cigarette. He didn't want to admit it, but he was feeling anxious. Yagura being quiet made it even worse as usually the older teen had a lot to say about everything. Sasuke would've expected the singer to be mocking him by now.

"Deja vu," he mumbled.

"Hm?" Yagura glanced at him, plucking the cigarette from in between his fingers.

"I feel like I was just doing this with Rin. At her last party."

"So, you're becomin' a smoker now? That's gonna get in the way of your singin' career."

Sasuke looked over at him to find Yagura smirking.

"It was a one-time thing," Sasuke replied flatly. "I did it as a favor to Rin."

Yagura shrugged. "I don't have a problem with it. Like I said. Thought you looked hot."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, starting to feel like Yagura might actually be coming onto him but too preoccupied to do anything about it or really care. He tilted his head against the brick, looked up at the sky for a brief moment, and then shut his eyes.

"He's gotta be in there, y'know," Yagura said.

"Probably."

"Are you stalling?"

"It's… possible."

Yagura chuckled, leading Sasuke to frown.

"I'll make you a deal. Why don't we go in? And if he acts like a dick when he sees you, I'll see if I can help play matchmaker… or we could make him jealous."

Opening his eyes, Sasuke slid his gaze over to him. "What are you playing at?"

"Nothin'." Yagura threw the cigarette on the ground, stamping it out with his boot. "Just think the two of you are entertainin' in your own ways, but I also think he's bein' just as stubborn. Feel like causin' some trouble, I guess. It's New Year's. Might get bored otherwise."

He should've been annoyed. The idea of Yagura instigating something _should_ be absurd. It was immature and childish, yet it was true that the singer had often gotten the right kind of reaction out of Naruto with his antics. Sasuke didn't really want to get Naruto to do anything specific, but since he'd been such a brat lately, it might be amusing to provoke him. Just a little.

"Fine."

He pushed off of the wall and unzipped his coat.

"Does that mean you're cool with the idea of me fuckin' with him?"

"You're your own person," he said. "Do what you want."

"Ah, uh huh. I know what that means."

Sasuke headed for the entrance, holding the door open behind him for Yagura. They went up the stairwell to Rin's floor. It sounded as if other parties were going on as they approached her unit. There was a sign on the door that read they should let themselves in, so he opened it and they were welcomed by booming music, a makeshift dance floor, and a crowd of people overflowing into Rin's huge living space and kitchen. A few candles were lit on some floating shelves, casting a soft orange glow across the parts of the room not reached by the strobe light.

"She really went all out, huh?" Yagura said next to him. "Must be nice havin' rich parents."

He didn't answer because when his eyes swept across the dance floor, he spotted something that bothered him so unexpectedly, he immediately made a beeline for the kitchen.

"Hey, where are you goin'?" Yagura called after him, attempting to follow as Sasuke not so politely pushed his way through a chatting group of women.

Without hesitation, Sasuke picked up one of the red plastic cups on Rin's counter and began pouring a mix of different alcohol into it—everything from vodka to rum to whiskey.

"Wow, you're really bent on self-destruction tonight, huh?" Yagura asked, sliding up next to him. It took all of Sasuke's restraint not to push him off. "Hey, you okay? It feels like you're shakin'."

"I'm fine," he said, and, unfortunately, a musician they both knew came over to say hello.

While Sasuke continued to chug his drink, Yagura carried on an annoying conversation with the other person. It was a drummer from another popular band. Sasuke was surprised Yagura was keeping up the conversation since he thought the two didn't get along. He guessed even Yagura could show some restraint on occasion. Or, maybe they'd reversed roles for the night? Either way, Sasuke didn't especially care. He was still trying to erase the image of Naruto and Sai dancing. _Closely_. With Naruto's hands on the other teen's waist and Sai's arms around the blond's neck. Did they have to do that in public? Wasn't it embarrassing for them? Did Sai have to come across so… _desperate_? Wasn't it enough Naruto had already rejected him? Who would keep trying that hard when they knew they had no shot—

A hard slap on his back didn't allow him to finish the thought.

"There ya go. I got rid of him for you," Yagura said, turning around to lean against the counter and looking very pleased with himself.

"I didn't ask you to," he replied.

"Better hope they have room on the liver transplant list if you keep drinkin' like that."

"No one asked you. Mind your own business." Sasuke wiped at his mouth and, having finished his drink, went to make another.

Yagura stopped him before he could grab the cup. "What the hell's gotten into you, Sasuke?"

Sasuke smacked his hand away and continued to concoct a second drink, stronger than the first because that one had already done an amazing job of making his brain go fuzzy.

"You're the one who encouraged me to come," he replied coldly. "Why don't you go run along and play, Yagura. You had all that mischief planned. Just let me drink."

Yagura took hold of his wrist. "Y'know. I've been pretty patient, puttin' up with your adolescent high school drama bullshit. I used to think you were cooler than that, but clearly you're no different than all of the egotistical little punks playin' pretend musician."

"Fuck off." Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "You should talk."

"And just what's that supposed to mean, pretty boy?" Yagura's grip on his wrist tightened, and he pulled Sasuke so close he could smell the cigarette smoke on the singer's breath.

"Maybe if you spent less time trying to get into everyone's pants you might take music more seriously," he snapped back. "You've been sloppier than usual lately. I've put up with you all this time because I thought you had talent. Now that your charm's worn off and your performances have become lacking, I should find a new singer."

"Ah, so the truth comes out," Yagura replied, licking his lips and grinning predatorily. "Is that the real reason you decided to sing at that gig? Think you can take over and do my job? Sorry, kiddo. You might have some talent, but you'll never lead a band. You're far too bossy, too much of a control freak, and far too emotionally immature to handle the pressure."

"Pressure?" Sasuke scoffed. "You rely on everyone to do the work for you. All you do is stagger out on stage, sing a few songs, and then wander off to do coke in the back with your groupies while everyone else clears off the stage and packs everything up."

"Funny." Yagura somehow managed to pull him even closer, to the point their lips could've accidently brushed if someone happened to bump into them right then. "Never heard you complainin' before. Since you got so popular playin' in _my_ band."

Sasuke felt him growing self-conscious of their proximity, though he didn't try to pull away in order to save face. " _Your_ band?"

"It's certainly not _yours_ ," Yagura spat. "Though you've grown cocky enough to think so. Think you're so much _better_ than everyone, don't you? I liked that about you. Liked how much of a dick you could be one minute and then suddenly you're some savvy business asshole."

"Is that supposed to be an insult?"

"You would be proud of that. Me? I know I'm an asshole, but you? Sasuke, you always pretend to be so perfect, but look at you. Nicest guy in the world won't even talk to you, goes out of his way to ignore you, and why do you think that is? Because even he's given up on you. So you better take a look at yourself before you start castin' stones, brother."

Yagura gave him a harder than necessary "pat" to his cheek and stormed off, bumping his shoulder on the way out of the kitchen. Sasuke glared at his back. What the fuck did that jerk know anyway? They hung out only when they were playing or when either of them needed to get drunk. Yagura didn't know him at all and hardly had the attention span or observational skills to pick up on anything meaningful or true. He was just pissed off Sasuke'd called him out on his shit. Just like Naruto. He couldn't take any criticism without getting defensive.

"Tch."

Sasuke sipped his drink, licking the strong taste of alcohol from his lips. He kept picturing Sai and Naruto dancing close enough anyone might mistake them for a couple. It irritated and frustrated him. Is this what they got up to when he wasn't around? Did Naruto have to flirt with _everyone_? To him, it was disgusting to be so openly affectionate toward someone. Great for Sai that he was out, and Naruto could continue pretending he wasn't bothered by what others' thought. Because he was straight and born with that privilege, whereas Sasuke had no choice—

A hand gripped his shoulder, and Sasuke reflexively pushed the person away out of anger when he realized it was Rin.

"What the—"

Seeing that he'd caused her to spill some of her drink on her top, Sasuke immediately felt horrible and extremely guilty for allowing his emotions to get the better of him.

"Rin," he said, not knowing what to do at first.

"It's fine," she said, trying to rub it out with her hand first. "I shouldn't have surprised you like that. I just saw you alone, so I figured I'd say hello."

"Jesus, I'm sorry." He set down his drink. "Can I get you a rag?"

"No, it's fine." She smiled. "I'll go into the bedroom and change real quick. It's no biggie. How about you? Are you okay? I thought someone said you came in with Yagura."

"We did." Feeling awkward, he slipped his hands into his jean pockets.

"If you give me your coat, I can put it in my room?"

"Sure." He smiled apologetically and shrugged out of his jacket, handing it to her.

"I don't suppose you bumped into Naruto already? You knew he was coming?"

"I figured," Sasuke answered. "Yagura convinced me to come."

"Well, I'm glad you did! I wasn't expecting you to come at all, but I'd love to have you play later. Maybe we can have a mini-reunion? Make it up to me for spilling your drink on my shirt?"

"Uh…"

"I'm only kidding," she said. "I'm not used to you being clumsy, Sasuke. You're not uncomfortable are you? Does Naruto know you're here?"

"I doubt it," he said, going with a half-truth. "We headed straight for the kitchen."

Rin nodded. "Ah, okay. I think I saw him dancin' with that friend of his… Sai?"

"Ah."

"Okay. You can come with me to my room if you want?"

"Come with you while you change?" He clarified.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be interested in what you're going to see, but you can always turn around. How was Christmas, by the way? I've only talked to you a little since then."

She grabbed for his arm, looping it with hers, still carrying his jacket.

"You look good, by the way. Very handsome. As usual."

He smirked. "Glad you think so."

Rin giggled. "What about me?"

"Of course you look very beautiful," he said. "I'm sorry I ruined your outfit. I'm sure you put a lot of thought into it. I'll help you out if I can."

"My own personal stylist?" She asked. "How can I say no? By the way… just to, you know, clarify… that friend of Naruto's goes to your school?"

"Yes."

"So… does he know you're gay?"

"No." He shook his head.

"Okay. I'll keep that in mind. Can I ask you a personal question?"

They were making their way through the hallway to her bedroom. There were a few people lining the wall, but most of the guests were out in the living space. The bathroom looked preoccupied, too. Rin opened the door to her bedroom. He'd noticed various new photos taped to the front of her and her bandmates as well as other people he didn't recognize.

Once they were inside her room, Rin hung his jacket in her closet. He approached cautiously, still feeling foolish about earlier. At least she'd shown up at just the right time to de-escalate his foul mood. If she hadn't, he didn't know what he would've done.

"I can just throw on another top," she said.

For a few minutes, she showed him a couple of options, and he ended up suggesting a three-quarter sleeved black crop top that revealed a fair bit of her flat stomach. Her hair, which she'd had up, she let down over her shoulders and applied some more eyeliner.

Sasuke had taken a seat on the edge of her bed.

"You're so quiet," Rin said.

He watched her in the mirror. "A lot on my mind."

"Naruto?"

Sasuke frowned.

"It's to be expected. I think it'd be fine if you ignore him, or if you want to try and be friendly. I don't really know what's going on, but I'd like for the both of you to have a good time."

"You don't have to worry about it," he said quietly, not wanting to reveal he'd actually come with ill intentions, but now that he'd seen Rin, it made him feel even more foolish.

Sasuke wanted to blame Yagura for talking him into it, but found he could only blame himself.

"Of course I'm going to worry," she replied, turning to look at him over her shoulder. "You're both my friends. It'd be nice if you could get along, but I understand why it's awkward."

"Rin," he started to say, but didn't know how to finish the thought and sound sincere. He'd wanted to say _if you like Naruto, I shouldn't prevent you two from getting closer_.

But he couldn't say it. Because it would've been a lie.

"Hm?" She waited, having put her makeup away in the drawer of her vanity.

"Nothing." He attempted a reassuring smile.

Then, sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. When he looked up again, Rin was standing in front of him. She put a hand on top of his head, patting him gently.

"It'll be okay," she said and smiled at him.

Fuck. It took all of his willpower not to tear up for whatever reason. Probably the alcohol.

"Am I in that bad of shape?" He asked. "Do I look so pitiful?"

Rin's expression changed; she looked worried now. She sat next to him on the bed and draped an arm around his shoulders reassuringly.

"No, no, of course not. I just… sorry, maybe I'm pushing too hard. I guess because I know the two of you, I thought maybe I could be a go-between, but I think that's presumptuous—"

God, did she deserve Naruto more than him. Why was he standing in their way?

"I'm sorry," he said, feeling a tightening in his chest.

He needed to go, to get out of this room and get another drink. Sasuke was too proud to simply leave the party, but he didn't want to think about it anymore. He didn't want to see Naruto and Sai if he went out there again. However, if he did, he wanted to be oblivious.

"Sorry?" She asked, trying to grab for his hand, but Sasuke pulled away.

Now he felt even guiltier.

"Sasuke," Rin called worriedly.

"Sorry for ruining your shirt," he murmured. "Let me know if I need to get you a new one. I'm going to get another drink." Sasuke smiled faintly when he had his hand on the knob. "I'm going to get another drink and enjoy the party. I've taken up enough of your time."

Before she could reply, Sasuke was out the door. Making his way to the kitchen, he discovered that his drink was gone, but it only meant he could come up with one that was even stronger. That way, if he ran into Naruto, he wouldn't have to feel a thing. Even better if he could just ignore him. He'd become rather accustomed to it. If all they did was fight when in the same space, best to keep away. And Sasuke had just as much right to be here as Naruto.

When he'd finished mixing his drink, not for the first time, did someone grab his shoulder. Fearing ruining yet another girl's outfit, Sasuke turned slowly and with caution only to discover Sai standing in front of him. The other teen looked him up and down, expression unreadable.

"What?" Sasuke asked when Sai refused to say anything.

"When did you get here?"

"Why does it matter?" He returned, bringing the rim of the cup to his lips.

"It doesn't." Sai shrugged. "Naruto's here."

"I'm aware."

"So is Gaara," Sai added unnecessarily.

Sasuke studied him, suspicious. "What is it you want, Sai?"

"Nothing." The teen looked confused. "I saw you here drinking and thought I'd say hi."

 _What a fucking idiot_.

"Shouldn't you be out in the other room, putting moves on Naruto?" Sasuke asked, immediately realizing that the alcohol was already affecting his filter.

Sai smirked. "He told me he told you about that. I don't care. I had a crush on him, big deal. Who wouldn't? Can't blame a gay guy for trying."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed further. "If you met Gaara, I suppose you heard about Naruto's brush with the law the other night."

"I did hear," Sai answered. "I wasn't very happy with him. Or Gaara."

"So you _can_ be reasonable," Sasuke mumbled.

It was Sai studying him now.

"Are you okay?" He asked Sasuke.

That question nearly sobered him up. Sai? Taking pity on _him_? Shouldn't it be the other way around? After all, Sasuke had had everything Sai coveted. He should be the smug one.

"I ask because you seem to be downing that fairly quickly." Sai gestured to the cup. "I didn't think you liked parties. In fact, we all figured you wouldn't show up."

"I came with a friend." He was starting to become edgy, expecting Naruto to come walking in at any moment. It had him feeling cornered and anxious.

"Right. That singer? I saw him in the other room. I remember him from the night you played with this girl's band. Is he single?"

"He's straight," Sasuke responded.

"You sure about that?" Sai tilted his head. "I get vibes from him."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. " _Vibes_?"

"Then again," said Sai. "I used to get them from you."

Sasuke began to panic internally. "I assume you're joking."

Sai tilted his head. "You know what they say about people who assume."

"How clever," he replied drolly.

"I don't know what happened between you and Naruto," Sai told him while sliding a hand into his jean pocket. "But it's clear Naruto needs closure… and it looks like you do, too."

"What are you, an amateur psychologist?"

"No," said Sai. "Just a bystander. I'm sure it's interesting."

"What is?" He picked up a bottle of vodka and dumped a quarter of it into his cup.

Sai watched him take a drink before answering: "I'd think it would be thrilling. Having so much of Naruto's attention directed at you. I envy you, Sasuke."

"What are you talking about? Naruto's been ignoring me."

"You ignored him."

"Your point?"

"Just that even if you two aren't speaking, that alone is saying volumes." Sai reached behind him, brushing Sasuke's arm in the process of grabbing his own cup.

He wasn't sure if Sai was hinting at something in particular or was just wanting to vent in his own way. If Sasuke was in his shoes, he might be jealous. Hell, Sasuke _was_ in his shoes and he _was_ jealous. Yet Sai appeared so calm, and Sasuke didn't know why.

"How can you be so calm?" He asked.

Sai, after having made his own drink, glanced over at him. "What do you mean 'calm'?"

"Aren't you frustrated that Naruto didn't return your feelings?"

"Why would I be?" Sai asked. "He's straight. You can't force these things."

"So why confess to him at all?" Sasuke blurted.

Sai gave him a strange look. "Because it's how I felt."

Perplexed, he could only stare at him.

"What?" Sai asked. "Isn't it that simple? If you like someone, you should tell them so?"

Sasuke didn't know whether to laugh or beat his head against the wall.

"No wonder the two of you are friends," he said rather nastily.

"You two used to be friends." Sai turned slightly, but was looking at him over his shoulder. "Even though you're total opposites." Slowly, a smirk spread across his face. "Although, with you out of the picture," the teen continued, "I now get to spend more time with Naruto. So, some good did come out of the divorce, and I know which parent I'm siding with."

"Is that supposed to be cute?" Sasuke asked.

"Not especially." Sai shrugged again. "I think he'd be willing to talk to you. Then again, he's been volatile lately, so who knows which Naruto you'll get if you do. I'm sure being drunk won't help."

Before leaving, Sai plucked the cup from Sasuke's hand.

"By the way, Naruto wanted a drink. I'm sure you won't mind if I give him yours."

He blinked slowly as he watched the older boy return to the living room. It was almost impossible for him to sort out what the hell that had been about. Either Sai was extremely clever or he was even dumber than Naruto. Why couldn't Sasuke figure him out?

For the fourth time, he picked up a cup and made a drink, working up the (he didn't want to say courage) to go into the other room. He wouldn't confront Naruto directly, but he wouldn't go out of his way to avoid him either. He had to keep in mind this was Rin's place, too. Sasuke didn't want to cause a scene. Then again, it was New Year's and no one else was restraining themselves, so why did he have to? Because that's what people _always_ expected of him?

At least now he had a good idea of what his New Year's resolution should be:

 _Stop giving a shit_.

* * *

 **TBC**

Don't forget to drop a review about the chapter.


	15. Act III: Waves

**Author's notes:**

1\. This isn't the final chapter, but I'm praying the next one is.  
2\. Please find the following songs, listen to them before the chapter if you like: Dean Lewis, "Waves" (the piano version for vocals, acoustic for guitar), and Julia Michaels, "Worst in Me" (stripped version). They're in the Dream Xmas playlist on YT. Email for a link.  
3\. Reminder: On behalf of myself and all writers everywhere, don't use the review space to only nag about updates or unedited versions of stories. It actually postponed me from updating this chapter, so keep that in mind if you've ever done that to an author. Simple fandom etiquette, folks.

 **Thank you for your reviews of the chapters. I've been busy IRL, but I read them even if I haven't been able to reply like I used to.**

* * *

 _Dedicated to netamashii. Please check out her art on tumblr._

* * *

"You'll never guess who I ran—" Sai was saying just as Naruto spotted Rin heading in their direction.

Their small group was gathered on the outskirts of the dance floor. They weren't dancing yet since Gaara was in the middle of one of his infamous mood swings. He was hiding behind a tall lamp and glued to the wall. That way he could interact with people as little as possible. Meanwhile, Naruto automatically grabbed the second drink Sai had in his other hand without asking what was in it. He was too busy waving Rin over to come and join them.

"You changed," Naruto commented on her outfit.

The new shirt she wore showed off a lot more skin than what she had on earlier, so he did his best not to let his gaze linger on her flat stomach.

"Is this gonna be one of those nights where you change every hour? Like an award show?" He asked, still grinning.

"It's nothing," she said, waving a dismissive hand at him. "Someone knocked into me and a drink spilled on it. No big deal."

"Party fouls happenin' already, eh? Sai and I were just dancin'. You shoulda joined us. We've teamed up enough before we could be on _Dancing with the Stars_."

"Speak for yourself," Sai muttered, and Naruto gave him a light shove.

"I came over because I wanted to let you know, if you didn't already, I mean," Rin flipped her hair over her left shoulder as if nervous. "Sasuke's here."

"Oh." Instinctively, Naruto glanced around the room, but didn't immediately spot him. "That's cool. Good for him. Good that he gets out every once in a while." He scratched the back of his head, trying not to make a big deal about it, however much it surprised him to hear.

"I was about to tell you," Sai interrupted, and Naruto was almost grateful. "I bumped into him in the kitchen." He nodded at Naruto's cup. "I stole that drink from him."

Naruto glanced at it, wanting to question why Sai would be stealing drinks from Sasuke.

"Is this going to be okay?" Rin asked.

"Did he come alone?" He couldn't think of anything else to ask.

"No." She shook her head. "He came with Yagura." Rin abruptly laughed. "Your face says it all."

"Does it?" He covered up the lower half of his face with a hand. "Heh. Guess I can't ever hide how I feel about that guy." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, eyes roaming the room again. "It's cool, Rin. If I see him, I'll just say hi, and that's it."

Rin broke into a small frown, but she nodded. "Sounds good. So, if your dance card isn't already filled, would you like to dance with me and some of my bandmates?"

"Me?" Naruto smiled. "Hell, yeah."

"Sai, you're welcome to join us," Rin said, smiling.

"I'm definitely game," Sai replied. "What about Gaara?"

Naruto looked over at him; he'd disappeared, however.

"Uh, well. I doubt he'd want to, but he seems to have gone on a bathroom break or somethin'."

"That guy's as moody as Sasuke," Sai said in his ear. "Doesn't it get tiring hanging around such emotionally high-maintenance men? Are you beginning to think you should've given me a shot?"

Naruto chuckled. "Sorry, buddy. You can be just as high-maintenance as them. I think it's clear bein' friends is the best way to keep a good relationship from fallin' apart."

Sai's eyebrow went up, and the teen frowned. "Makes it sound as if you and Sasuke were thinking about a relationship."

He nearly choked on his drink. Rin gave him a slap to his back.

"Even more suspicious," Sai commented, eyeing him closely.

"Enough about Sasuke already," Naruto said when he could breathe again. "I'm just here to have a good time tonight. If he's here, so what, we'll ignore each other like we were doin' at school. No one else should start shit either. There's room enough for both of us here."

"True. I wouldn't mind chatting up that Yagura guy."

"For the last time," said Naruto. "He's _not_ gay. And even if he was, the guy's a _dick_."

"It's not like I'm looking for a commitment." Sai's gaze was roving the room in a predatory fashion Naruto had seen before when out at clubs together.

Still. He couldn't figure out Sai's obsession with Yagura. Was there something about that guy he was missing? Big dick maybe? It certainly wasn't his glowing personality.

"Well, do whatever you want," he said. "It's New Year's. I guess anything can happen."

"Cool," Sai replied. "Then I'll go look for him now."

"Last I saw he was in the kitchen," Rin mentioned. "I thought he was coming out here, but maybe he went to have a smoke with some of the other musicians."

"Ah, how sexy." Then, he was gone. Leaving them behind to go in search of Yagura.

"Well, you see where his priorities are," Naruto grumbled, glancing up at the strobe light.

"You okay?" Rin stepped closer to him since the dancers behind them were jumping around more thanks to the upbeat Grouplove that just started playing.

"I am, yeah. Why?" He brought the cup to his lips, then paused when he remembered, again, to whom it belonged.

"No reason," answered the singer

Taking him by the hand, Rin turned and led him into the mass of jumping bodies.

The cup almost got knocked out of his hand, but once they were in the floor's center, there were familiar faces: all of Rin's bandmates, including the one who'd been sick that night. He couldn't do much more than wave in greeting, and Rin slid him smoothly into their circle. Not that he was a terribly self-conscious person, but the alcohol he'd already had tonight made it easier to join in. Together, they all danced and laughed. It almost felt like he was beginning to forget all about Sasuke being here. In the back of his mind, he was thinking about what was up Gaara's butt tonight, but decided he was tired of letting everyone else's moods affect constantly affect him. He'd come here to have fun, and Rin seemed to sense that. She was about the only one showing him any consideration. He felt very appreciative of that. Naruto watched her dance with her bassist, the two of them twirling each other in circles and laughing. God they were both cute. Rin was cute. Naruto wanted to kiss her on the cheek.

He brought the cup to his lips, drinking the rest of the alcohol in one gulp. Not to be sentimental, but given that it was New Year's, perhaps the universe was trying to tell him to get rid of the old. All the shit that had been dragging him down. It's not like he could ever _forget_ Sasuke, and he knew deep inside that his feelings for him were still there. The other night he'd had the sense Sasuke felt something, too, but he was back to doubting it again. Of _course_ there had always been a _physical_ attraction between them, but that didn't mean it was romantic. If they bumped into each other, maybe he'd apologize for the other night. Sasuke's attitude hadn't been great, but Naruto felt guilty about making Itachi worry. He almost got where Sasuke was coming from, too. But, if he had his choice right now. _This_ felt good. Simple fun with interesting people. He would be civil to Sasuke for Rin's sake. Maybe it was time for him to start making peace with all of this anyway, or else how would he ever move on? Sasuke didn't seem eager to give him closure either, so he'd have to come to terms with everything on his own.

Not everything had to be about Sasuke all the time. _Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke_. Yeah, Naruto still had feelings for him. But… just once, maybe tonight could be all about _Naruto Uzumaki_.

* * *

Feeling like the party had become way over-crowded, Sasuke ended up wandering outside where he found Yagura smoking a cigarette and looking up "ponderously" at the sky.

"Sure you haven't had enough of those?" Yagura asked as Sasuke finished off another drink.

"Is there a reason I can't get drunk tonight?"

"Eh. I think you have plenty of reasons to get drunk. If I were you, I don't think I'd _ever_ be sober."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm sure there aren't many days you _don't_ wish you were me."

Yagura cocked his head and smirked. "Well if that wasn't about the cockiest thing I've ever heard you say. But, nah. I've heard about Asians and their dicks. I'll stick with my 9-incher."

He grabbed for Sasuke's hand, edging it toward his thigh, but Sasuke jerked away and glared.

"Am I interrupting something?"

They looked behind them at the apartment entrance and found Sai standing there, smirk in place and appearing annoyingly smug. Sasuke wanted to punch that smirk right off his face, but it would require dropping his cup on the ground and that would be a waste of alcohol.

"You again, huh?" Yagura asked and, much to Sasuke's disgust, was actually smiling. "Who are _you_? My _stalker_?"

Sai cut between them, half-shoving Sasuke out of the way and sliding up to Yagura.

"You're a straight-forward kinda guy, aren't you?" Sai asked.

Yagura narrowed his eyes. "I guess, yeah. Why?"

"Are you into men?"

Sasuke had just enough time to turn his head before he spat the drink he'd just taken half-way across the snow-covered sidewalk. A coughing fit had him clutching his chest.

"W-what makes you think I'm into m-men?" Yagura asked.

"I didn't say I thought that, asked if you were," Sai stated matter-of-factly. "I'm trying to save us both time."

While Sasuke was still choking, Sai placed a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?" He asked Sasuke. "Do you need assistance to the bathroom? Should I get Naruto?"

"Fuck off," he replied, removing the teen's hand from off his body. "You deal with this, Yagura. I'm out of here."

"What? No—Sasuke, you're the—"

Yagura clamped his mouth shut when Sasuke sent him a glare. Stumbling toward the door, he managed to get up the stairs to Rin's floor, wanting to simultaneously punch a wall and laugh his head off. Unfortunately, the amount of alcohol in his system didn't allow him to do either. He ended up leaning against the wall once the hallway began to spin. He could hear the fast beat of the music playing in the living room. It hadn't been his intention to avoid the party simply because Naruto was in there, but here he was, loitering outside Rin's door. A few party guests—ones he didn't recognize—gave him odd looks before walking into the apartment.

Sasuke took in a deep breath. Earlier, he'd spotted Naruto dancing with Rin and her friends. It made him feel even guiltier that he kept clinging to this _thing_ that he wasn't even sure existed between them anymore. It also made him incredibly jealous… and lonely.

Another sigh, and he forced himself to go in; after all, he'd made that idiotic resolution to stop caring about what people thought. He walked into Rin's apartment, attempting to avoid making physical contact with anyone (a difficult task given the number of people had now grown to levels that would make the local fire department cry). Unfortunately, the first person he made accidental eye contact with was Gaara. The other teen looked unhappy. Sasuke didn't blame him since he was stuck sitting on the couch beside a couple who couldn't keep their hands off each other. He almost felt sorry for him, but it was also satisfying to know someone was having as miserable a night as he was. Naruto had apparently sold Gaara out to hang with Rin. Yeah, well. _Join the club_ , he thought spitefully. If Gaara wanted to leave, there was the door. It wasn't in Sasuke to do him any favors, especially after the other night.

Thinking he might get in line for the bathroom, Sasuke made a beeline for the hall, but just as he was passing the kitchen entryway, Rin's bassist came running out, nearly smacking into him.

"Sasuke, hey!" She grabbed onto his arm, obviously as drunk as most of the people here. "Where've you been? We were thinkin' of doin' a concert out on the balcony."

"A concert?" He asked, lips twisting into a grimace. "No thanks."

"What? _Why_?" Fuu pouted. "I want to hear you on the bass, too, but I saw you brought your guitar. Rin's been looking for you, by the way. How about another duet?"

He stared at her, opened his mouth, and replied: "I have to pee."

"Well, I mean. _After_ you pee. Although, have you _seen_ the line? I used Rin's bathroom. I don't think anyone's in there, so you should use it, and as a favor, join us for one or two songs?" She fluttered her eyelashes (why did women think this worked on him?) and tugged at his sleeve. "Pretty please? Everyone's been talking about that night. Come on. Please."

He frowned, not wanting to offend her by pulling away. "I'll think about it."

"Alright, cool! Awesome. I'll tell Rin!"

"You don't—" He tried to say before she skipped off, leaving him unable to protest. "Fuck. Women." Sasuke continued muttering to himself. "No wonder I'm gay."

When he made it to the bathroom line, Fuu was correct about the wait, so he did decide to sneak into Rin's room. Not he could relieve himself without people knocking on the door, Rin's room would be blissfully quiet and free of people. After he opened the door to her room, he glanced around at all her things. Rin's closet remained open from when they'd had to find her an outfit earlier. Sasuke approached her vanity, thoughtfully dragging his palm across the glass top. There was makeup scattered everywhere and several photos taped to the mirror, including one with the both of them in it. But, the longer he stared at it, the fuzzier the image became until he thought he might throw up. Sasuke quickly walked over to the bathroom door, but as he turned the knob, someone pushed open the door from the inside.

"I'm sor-" The person started to apologize until their eyes met.

 _Naruto._

Sasuke found himself staring into surprised blue eyes.

"It's you," the blond mumbled.

Sasuke couldn't get his mouth to utter a single word.

"You look like you're havin' a good time." Naruto's gaze roved down and then up again.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the teen's mild sarcasm. "...You, too."

Naruto shrugged off the comment and rubbed at one of his shoulders like it was sore. "I guess so. Yeah. I, uh. Was surprised you came."

He felt awkward and annoyed. "...It was a last-minute decision. Yagura really wanted to come."

Naruto appeared to frown at the mention of Yagura. "Ah, I see. Cool… well. I'll leave you to do your business."

The other teen started to walk past, but Sasuke didn't immediately move to get out of his way. When Naruto was forced to stop, their shoulders brushed, sending little sparks dancing all across his body and heating him up from inside. He felt almost instantaneously sober.

"Listen," Naruto said, his voice low. "If you're still mad about the other night. I… thought about it, and… I am sorry. For troublin' your brother…" He averted his eyes, "And you."

"...Thank you," Sasuke replied, voice equally as low and a lot more rough.

He was willing Naruto to look at him again, which he did. How long did they stare like that without saying anything? Seconds? Minutes?

"Anyway." Naruto's voice changed and the moment felt broken. "I, uh. Gotta get back to the party. Rin was lookin' for you. Think she wants you to sing." He offered Sasuke a weak (fake) smile before pushing past him and heading to the door. "See ya around, Sasuke."

After Naruto left, Sasuke remained, fingers itching and hands clenched. He rubbed his forefinger and thumb together, feeling the calloused pads.

 _Sing_? _Perform_?

He was in the mood now. Something dark kept tugging at his guts. Or, maybe more like a _yearning_. A need for some kind of release, though he didn't quite understand it.

What had that look been on Naruto's face anyway? Why was he being so… formal with him, too? Like how Naruto often was with strangers. A… politeness he set aside for acquaintances. Yet, there had been another one of those brief moments like what he'd felt the other night.

That _electricity_. That… whatever the fuck that was Sasuke couldn't keep ignoring.

He decided not to think ot it anymore since his full bladder reminded him he needed to use the restroom soon, or he was going to need a change in attire, too.

But... it might not be such a bad idea to show off some by taking Fuu up on the offer to perform with her and Rin. Might as well since it usually led to someone trying to hit on him afterward. If it wasn't going to be Naruto, maybe someone else equally as good at blowjobs.

Then again, he doubted anyone could _ever_ rival Naruto in that department.

* * *

Naruto took a few minutes to gather his wits after unexpectedly running into Sasuke like that. Once he'd shut Rin's door, he leaned against it. Sasuke looked… wasted. _And_ flustered, which was confusing and weird. There was a part of him that, as Sasuke's (ex)friend, felt worried. However, he couldn't be Sasuke's keeper anymore, and Sasuke was capable of taking care of himself. If he wanted to hang out with Yagura, or if he wanted to get plastered at a party ( _isn't that what parties were for?_ ), then… Sasuke could do as he pleased. Considering Sasuke had been avoiding him all this time, Naruto knew when to take a hint.

So, before returning to the kitchen where he'd last seen Rin, he attempted to plaster on a smile and waved when he saw a few people he'd become acquainted with while dancing earlier. The vibe of the party remained lively, and Naruto wouldn't let seeing Sasuke ruin his good mood. It was a funny thought to have, but he was struck by how similar Gaara and Sasuke were. They both pouted when they felt neglected or put out. Like kids.

As Naruto made his way through the crowded kitchen, he eventually found his way to Rin. She was busy chatting excitedly with her green-haired bassist.

"Hey," he greeted both women, offering a friendly wave and a smile. "I… uh. Bumped into Sasuke. Gave him your message about singin'."

"Did you?" Rin asked curiously, drinking from a half-empty cup. "How'd that go?"

Naruto shrugged. "No fights broke out, so I guess that's good."

"Are you on bad terms with Sasuke?" Fuu asked. "It's a love triangle, isn't it? I have a nose for these things!"

"Shut up, Fuu," Rin replied, slapping her on the back. "Besides, it's none of our business. Fuu said she saw him earlier and Sasuke agreed to play on the balcony."

"Oh. He did?" Naruto cocked his head, surprised Sasuke'd been so agreeable about performing at a party. "Heh. Guess I didn't need to mention it to him, after all."

"No… I'm… glad you spoke with him." Rin smiled, but it made him uneasy for some reason. "I thought you two were going to avoid each other all night."

"Me? I've been out in the open. He's—" Naruto bit down on his tongue. "Yeah. Sorry if it's weird for you, Rin. Not my intention to put you in the middle—"

Rin held up her hand, cutting him off. "It's okay. I consider you both to be friends. It'll work out somehow. I'm going to go set up the guitars outside. Come out with the rest in a few, hm?"

"Sure." He nodded, and Rin left, but Fuu stayed.

With Rin gone, Fuu continued to stare at him, the rim of her cup held to her lips.

"You know that's empty, right?" Naruto asked. "Your cup?"

"A gentleman would get me another," she replied, smiling sweetly. "So, what's _really_ going on between you and Sasuke?"

"What makes you think Sasuke and I are even friends?" He asked, taking her cup from her.

Fuu followed him to the liquor cabinet, where he pulled out a couple of bottles. He poured both into a cup along with some orange juice since most women he knew liked fruity drinks.

"I keep hearing things," Fuu answered vaguely.

"What things?"

"Just this and that. Everyone kinda knows which way Sasuke swings… I kinda thought you and Rin were a thing, but now… something's off."

"How is this any of your business again?" He handed her the drink.

"Uuh. I forget. I'm really just curious because… you two would be kind of hot together, but my girl Rin… I want her to be happy, too, Y'know?"

"What do you mean?" He wasn't really able to follow what she was saying. Was he still too sober? He'd had plenty to drink already. Then again, he wasn't exactly a lightweight.

"Because," said Fuu, punching his shoulder. "She's totally into you."

He felt his cheeks immediately flush. "I… Rin and I are only friends."

Uncomfortable, Naruto was eager to remove himself from the conversation, but Fuu grabbed onto his arm when he began to turn away.

"You're not going to hurt her, are you? Because I'll hurt you if you hurt her."

"I'm… not goin' to hurt Rin," he mumbled. "I… like her."

"Oh?" Fuu's eyes got big. "So you _do_ like her?"

"As a friend. Yeah."

"Hmph. Well. You snooze, you lose, bro."

"Thanks," he said irritably. "That's great advice."

Fed up, Naruto did excuse himself finally. He managed to push his way out of the kitchen and into the living room where he was surprised to spot Yagura and Sai standing (close) together against the far wall. Seeing that Gaara was on the couch still, Naruto went over to join him.

"Yo," said Naruto. "You gonna couch surf all night, or what?"

"Seems as appealing as anything else going on," Gaara replied, looking up at him.

"Would you rather go home?" Naruto asked.

"No."

"What can I do to make your time here less miserable?"

"What do you think?" Gaara crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

"I'm not sure to be honest, but I bet you're gonna make me guess before you'll tell me."

"You're a real asshole when you drink, Uzumaki."

Naruto frowned. "I hate to tell ya, but I'm not even that drunk. What's up with Sai and Yagura?" He gestured toward the pair, thinking it almost looked as if something were really going on there.

"I would've thought you'd be happy. That the one guy isn't hanging all over Sasuke."

He glanced at Gaara again. "...Is that why you've been broodin' all night? Is this about Sasuke?"

"I don't know Sasuke enough to give a fuck about him, but you apparently do."

"He and I were friends—"

"Don't give me that bullshit, Naruto." Gaara got to his feet and stared him down unrelentingly. "You were _more_ than friends. You were gay for him, he was gay for you, Sai was gay for you, too. Everyone in this city is gay for you, but you don't have the balls to make a choice."

"Choice? You don't know—"

Gaara was glaring. "I don't know what You? I'm sure I know you as well as anybody else on this planet, so don't try to wind me up. It won't work."

Naruto frowned. "Okay, since you know everything, what is it you suggest I do?"

"I told you."

"Uh huh, right." Naruto grabbed at his hairline and sighed. "You want me to just bend him over in the middle of the party? In front of Rin and Sai even? Sai doesn't even know Sasuke's gay."

"Don't care," said Gaara.

"Figures. Easy for you to say when you're only here another couple days."

"You'd rather I hadn't come?"

"I didn't say that," Naruto argued, raising his voice. "Don't put words in my mouth."

"Then go put Sasuke's _dick_ in your mouth. It's obvious to everyone."

"Like I give a fuck what everyone else thinks," he muttered.

"Really?" Gaara asked, moving even closer. "I can't think of someone who cares more about what others think."

Then, he walked away from Naruto.

"The fuck…"

Naruto clenched his fists at his sides. What is it that people wanted from him? Hadn't he done enough by confessing, by giving Sasuke his space after he'd been rejected, by attempting to move on? It's not like he'd ever thought Sasuke would come to the party tonight.

Interrupting his thoughts, the music abruptly got cut off, and the lights were shining down on Fuu and Rin, who had to stand on a table in order to get everyone's attention.

"I know we're not all going to fit, but there's going to be an impromptu performance on the balcony," yelled Fuu. "We'll keep the doors open, so grab your coats if you're cold! By the way, Sasuke Uchiha can you report to the balcony? If anyone sees Sasuke, send him our way."

Naruto glanced around, and, as if on cue, a group was pushing Sasuke toward that general direction. He already had his guitar hanging from his shoulder. Naruto snuck a glance at Yagura and Sai, whose eyes were trained on the folks moving equipment around. Then, Yagura abruptly glanced at him, catching Naruto in the act. The older teen smiled and even waved. Sai looked over, too. To anyone else, it would've seemed his friend's face was perfectly blank, but Naruto could sense some smugness.

Yuck. If it wasn't already bad that Yagura kept hanging around Sasuke, now he was… putting his hands all over Sai, too?

It's not like he had any right to tell Sai what to do. Since it was out of his control (and it was grossing him out just to see the two of them together), Naruto began moving closer to the balcony. It was too late to get prime standing space outside, but there was enough room in the living area. Well, barely. The #Feminist band members were busy plugging in the speakers. Everyone was chatting excitedly while the musicians put on their coats and started setting up outside. As he watched, that same bubble of excitement and anticipation began to build in his stomach, because he'd be able to hear Rin… _and_ Sasuke. To hear them together again.

It made him think of how he'd become so overwhelmed he ended up needing to leave the performance. It was a strange position to be in, he thought. Knowing he was still… well.

Whatever.

He picked up a random drink from off one of the small side tables, hoping for the best that it hadn't been spiked. Naruto glanced at Sai one last time. They looked cozy, but at least they weren't making out yet. As #Feminist's keyboardist carried out the keyboard, the crowd parted for her, which meant Naruto got pushed back a little. Naruto, while waiting for it to start, became lost in thought until he felt someone bump into his arm. He looked over and saw Gaara.

"You looked pathetic standing over here by yourself," Gaara told him.

"Did I?" Naruto ended up smiling, pleased his friend had come back. up smiling. "But, I'm surrounded by so many people standing here."

The ginger-haired boy shrugged. "Being surrounded by people doesn't mean anything."

"That's deep stuff," he replied, actually feeling a strange twinge at the comment but was very quick to suppress it. "Did you read it on a fortune cookie?"

Gaara merely glanced over. "I'm curious. If he's as good as you say he is."

"He's good." Naruto slid his hands into his jean pockets. "I wouldn't lie about that."

"Yeah, it's not usual for you to blow smoke up someone's ass."

"Not unless they're into it," he replied, distracted when he spotted Sasuke assisting one of the girl's with a speaker, testing it out and making sure all the wires were connected.

Eventually, the chatter of the crowd became more of a dull murmur. It appeared the impromptu performance was about to begin. The door to the balcony was open wide. Some people had decided to put on their coats, but a couple of space heaters had also been brought out. With so many people in one room, he didn't think it was all that bad. It actually looked really pretty outside. The night sky was clear and black, but a light snow had begun to fall. It almost looked like CGI, it was so surreal. He found himself trying to push closer to the front, at least to a place where he could clearly see both Rin and Sasuke. They sat down on a couple of wooden chairs. Sasuke didn't look nearly as intoxicated earlier. Then again, he was the consummate professional. He appeared cool, collected, and aloof. Occasionally, he stopped to help Rin with stuff or to adjust the small mic they had. Naruto set his eyes on Rin. She looked so pretty—hair up in a messy bun now and wearing a red hooded sweatshirt that looked to big for her.

Naruto smirked, but then his eyes were drawn to Sasuke again when he set the guitar to the side and took a seat behind the keyboard. He played a few notes while Rin wrapped her fingers around the stand, just below the mic, and hummed. Fuu sat on a wooden box, a small shaker in her left hand. There was only a second for him to absorb the fact Sasuke would be playing the fuckinig _keyboard—_ something Naruto had never seen him do on stage. The lights went off suddenly, and the strobe light came on, a soft purple-blueish glow hitting the walls.

Sasuke began to play the keyboard, and Rin, following a soft vocal sigh into the mic, started to sing. Her voice, as beautiful as ever, sounded raw but gentle:

"Remember when I used to be happy... for _you_? You could go out with your female friends, and I'd be totally fine? Remember when you used to be happy… for _me_? You'd celebrate all my success without crossing a line. Now it's like we're scared of getting good." She kept her eyes closed, her free hand rising into the air and forming a fist. "'Cause we know the truth is that we could. And we know that we might actually work. And the truth is that we _could_."

Fuu, while using the shaker, tapped on the box she sat on like a drum. Sasuke's face remained focus, his playing light and so obviously trying to make the other two shine. _God_ , did he look good playing. Watching him... while listening to Rin sing those words, her voice squeaking in anguish at the end of the last line was just so… strangely heartbreaking. He'd only been able to hear her sing rock songs and a ballad with Sasuke, but this style suited her _so_ well...

"But maybe it's the _worst_ in me, that's bringing out the worst in you," she sang, searching the audience until her eyes ended up on Sasuke, who must've felt it because then he offered just the slightest smile. "I know we can fix these kinks. But the worst in me doesn't want to _work_ on things. But the best of me wants to love you. But the _worst_ in me doesn't want to."

Fuu, who had her own mic, sang a series of breathy, back-up vocals as Rin's expression changed, becoming much more emotional and pained.

Rin glanced at Sasuke while she sang the next lines: "It's almost like I've gotten so used to resentment. That every annoying little thing you say has lost its effect. It's almost like it's made you a little bit bitter. When I don't always react the way you expect."

The bridge and chorus repeated, but Naruto felt strange listening to the lyrics, relating to them, and almost feeling like Rin was pulling his heart straight out of his chest right now.

"I won't hurt you again. If you won't, if you won't. But, baby, I won't lose you again. If you won't, if you won't..."

For having seen several bands since knowing Sasuke, for having seen Sasuke perform hundreds of times, it never ceased to amaze him about musicians. Knowing them in person didn't at all prepare him for how they changed on stage, Sasuke and Rin included. Though he didn't know Rin nearly as well, her ability to draw you in with the emotions on her face and voice were just so… completely awe-inspiring. It was always so goddam moving. Yet, when he saw Sasuke performing up there, too, it brought back that same feeling. Of being part of a whole other world than him. Like they might never connect. It was so… lonely.

He didn't dare look at Gaara. He would've been able to read Naruto's thoughts in an instant.

The song came to an end and was met with loud applause. Some party goers were chanting Sasuke and Rin's names, shouting: "encore." He wiped at his eyes, moved mostly by the fact he knew such talented people. It made him feel small. Like he didn't belong _here_. With _these_ people. Like he was a fake. His first instinct was to get more alcohol, but then Sasuke stood. He reached for his guitar while Rin helped Fuu move the keyboard back inside, then returned to sit next to Sasuke, who appeared to be searching the crowd. It was an oddly open and vulnerable look he was giving , but it quickly vanished once he glanced down at his fingers on the guitar strings.

Fuu stood behind the keyboard and started to play. Rin sat quietly in her seat, beside Sasuke.

Naruto took in a deep breath and held it. He still got nervous on Sasuke's behalf even though it was never necessary to do so. Sasuke, strumming his guitar, began to sing:

"There is a swelling storm," Sasuke sang, voice raw, rough, and low. "And I'm caught up in the middle of it all. And it takes control. Of the person that I thought I was. The boy I used to know."

Sasuke closed his eyes, voice breaking slightly as it reached the higher notes. "But there, is a light. In the dark, and I _feel_ its warmth. In my hands, and my heart. But, why _can't_ I hold on?"

Rin and Fuu joined: "'Cause it comes and goes in waves. It always does, it _always_ does."

"And we watch as our young hearts fade. Into the flood. _Into_ the flood." Sasuke's voice picked up in power and volume, the keyboard growing louder, too. "And the freedom, of falling. And the feeling I _thought_ was set in stone. It slips through, my fingers. And I'm trying _hard_ to let go."

Sasuke's voice softened again. " _But_ it comes and goes in waves. Oh, _it_ comes and goes in waves. And carries us away. Through the wind. And down to the place we used to lay when we were kids. The memories, of a stolen _place_. _Caught_ in the silence. An echo lost in space."

Rin and Fuu backed him up, a beautiful harmony that complemented the raw pain of Sasuke's voice. "But it comes and goes in waves. It always does, it _always_ does. And we watch as our young hearts _fade_ into the flood. _Into_ the flood. And the _freedom_ of _falling_. And the feeling I thought was set in stone. It slips through my fingers, and I'm trying _hard_ to let go."

The trio sang together: "But it comes and goes in waves 'Cause it comes and goes in waves. And carries us away. "

Sasuke set the guitar aside to sing, grasping the mic in both hands. "And I've watched my _wild_ youth disappear in front of my eyes. _Moments_ of _magic_ and _wonder_. It seems so hard to find. Is it ever comin' back again? Is it ever comin' back again? And take me back to the _feeling_ when everything was left to find."

Sasuke sang alone, so soft: "'Cause it comes and goes in waves. It always does. It _always_ does…" The two women joined him again, their voices growing louder. "And the freedom, of _falling_. And the feeling I _thought_ was set in stone. It slips through, my fingers. I'm trying hard to let go."

With no musical accompaniment, Sasuke sang alone again for the final verse: "But, it comes and goes in waves. 'Cause it comes and goes in waves. And _carries_ us away."

After Sasuke finished singing, Naruto took in a deep breath, wondering if he'd been breathing at all this entire time. There were a few seconds of silence before the whole room broke out in applause and yelling, to almost a deafening degree. With everyone jumping around, it was hard to see Sasuke and Rin anymore. He felt the tears sliding down his cheeks and moved to furiously wipe them away. He turned, forgetting Gaara was beside him. Their eyes instantly met, and Naruto could read his expression so clearly in that moment.

 _Naruto, you fucked up. You should've beaten Sasuke bloody until he told you the truth. Until Sasuke yelled at the top of his longs that he doesn't love you, doesn't want you, only wanted to be friends. Until then, it's not over. And it'll never be over._

But, how could he force himself on Sasuke like that? He was clearly hurting as much as Naruto, even if it didn't make sense to him. Yet, in a warped way—in that moment—he understood perfectly. Just knowing Sasuke and the way he thought about things, however _fucked_ up. Naruto knew it was possible for Sasuke to both love him and still be able to push him away. That hurt _him_ , though. Seeing Sasuke able to get along so well with Rin or Fuu or Yagura. _Everyone_ but him. They didn't get pushed away. When he and Sasuke had been so intimately close. Sasuke was his best friend, so what the fuck happened?

In fact, Sasuke seemed to be growing closer to them because he wasn't hanging out with Naruto. He _did_ have friends. It was just that… Naruto had been getting in the way of that.

When Gaara put a hand on his shoulder, Naruto jerked away without meaning to.

"I have to—" But, he didn't want to lie or make excuses anymore. "I need to get some air."

"Want me to go?" Gaara asked, looking concerned, which made Naruto feel even more pathetic.

"Nah. Gimme a few minutes outside and I'll be find. Uh, keep an eye on Sai, though, would ya?" Naruto was still wiping away tears. "Don't want Yagura to try anything funny on my friend."

"Okay."

Another weak smile and Naruto was gone, pushing his way through all of the still applauding people. Had he been thinking clearly, he would've brought a jacket. As soon as he was out in the hallway, it was like he could breathe again He stood a minute, trying to calm his breathing. When he felt able to, he went down the stairs and out the door of the apartment complex.

Outside, it was bitingly cold but also refreshing. The cool air felt good on his face. Naruto gazed up at the sky, watching the snow descend over the trees and road. There was a strange feeling in his chest, so he covered it. A sharp pain. It felt like he couldn't catch his breath, so he leaned against the brick wall, waiting for it to pass. It didn't, but he felt content somehow. Sad, but was out there for five minutes before the door opened, interrupting his thoughts.

"I was lookin' for you," they told him. "What's up with you and walkin' out mid-performance every time? Didn't anyone ever teach you any manners? Wasn't that Sasuke's job?"

Naruto glared at Yagura. He didn't bother responding. Instead, he looked up at the sky again and shut his eyes, attempting to will the pain in his chest away. Eventually, he could feel it as Yagura slid up beside him. Internally, he cringed. There wasn't anyone else he loathed more than Yagura. He felt irrationally angry, thinking about the night Yagura sent those pictures, the fact he'd come here with Sasuke tonight, and he was now trying to take Sai away, too—

"Fuck off," Naruto growled.

"Hey, I don't see anyone else runnin' out here to comfort you. Could be more grateful instead of always actin' like an emotional brat."

"Like I care what you think of me," he argued.

"Everyone cares," said Yagura. "Everyone cares what other people think."

Naruto snorted, glancing at the older teen. "Even you?"

"Even me." Yagura grinned.

He stared at him. "What do you want?"

"What do _you_ want?"

"Huh?"

"Just make a fuckin' decision already. You'll feel better about it."

"I didn't ask—"

Yagura, turning abruptly, grabbed at the front of Naruto's shirt. "Stop actin' like a pussy. The both of you are annoying, actin' like you're a couple of star-crossed lovers in the middle of some Shakespearean play. This is 2018 almost. No one gives a fuck about two dudes boppin' each other. Just do it in private or out of sight, who cares?" He let go of Naruto. "Just.. fuckin' do somethin' already. God. Watchin' you two pine after each other is exhaustin' as fuck."

"I'm so sorry that we're imposing on you," Naruto snapped. "I didn't realize my relationship with Sasuke was any of your business."

"That's where you're wrong," Yagura replied calmly. "Sasuke's a friend. He's been a friend long before you showed up in Seattle. He's an idiot, but I like him. Talented idiot, I should say." The singer pulled out a lighter and a cigarette. He offered one to Naruto. "Y'smoke?"

"Not really," he answered, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I've always tried to help you two out if you recall."

"You were just tryin' to fuck with us and start shit."

"Isn't that what I just said?" Yagura took a deep drag of his cigarette.

"It's more complicated than that. It's not as easy as you make it sound—"

"Shut up, honestly. I'm not one of your pets. Not your friend. Don't care. Just know that Sasuke's got a boner for you but he's been actin' like he's on the rag for a while now. You still like him, right? Give him a blowy, and he'll be satisfied. I guess you might, too."

Naruto shot him a disgusted look. "You're sick."

"Yeah, right. I bet me just mentionin' Sasuke's dick caused yours to twitch. Whatever floats your boat, man. I thought I was straight, too, but your friend's kinda…" He scratched his chin and grinned at Naruto. "We'll have to see where the night leads now, won't we?"

"Just… leave me alone," Naruto told him. "Go away."

Yagura gave him a long look. He leaned in close, and Naruto could smell the smoke on his breath. He slid the cigarette behind Naruto's ear, turned, and went back inside.

"Consider it a parting gift," Yagura said, standing by the open door. "What is it I'm supposed to say here? Ah, right. Happy New Year, asshole. Hope you two get your shit together."

Naruto rolled his eyes. What an _asshole_. What a _loser_. Without thinking, he took the cigarette from behind his ear and gave it a few puffs. He ended up staying outside until it burnt out. Naruto stamped it underneath his boot. By then, he'd been gone 20 minutes and could barely even feel his fingers or face. His phone had gone off a couple of times in his back pocket, too, though Naruto had ignored it. He checked his watch. It was about quarter til midnight.

Running a hand through his hair, Naruto gave one last look at the night sky, still unsure of what to do but knowing that he'd have to do _something_.

Because Sasuke never would, and clearly they were both annoying the shit out of their friends.

Would another drink give him more courage?

Well, he'd just have to find out, he guessed.

* * *

After performing, Sasuke set about helping clear the area, and when he felt as though everyone's instruments were secure and good—he had to disappear for a while. Never in all of his times of performing had he felt so emotional during a song. It still hadn't gone away, this strange pain in his chest. There was sadness, loneliness, and something else. He kept thinking about that dream from the other night, too. He'd been less than sober at the beginning of Rin's song, and he wasn't in great shape now either, but that didn't stop him from performing. Sometimes it startled him, how robotic he could be while playing on stage. It came from years of conditioning himself to support other musicians, regardless of not feeling well, of being nervous, or if something on stage went wrong. He always felt he should be calm in any situation.

There was so much noise afterward, too. Lots of people tried talking to him, but all Sasuke really wanted was to get another drink and be left alone for a while. It turned out that attention was the last thing he was in the mood for right now. A few minutes ago, he'd been snappish with Fuu since she kept interrogating him about Naruto for some reason. Luckily, Rin took her aside and distracted her. He didn't want to ruin their buzz after such a good performance, and it wasn't like him to be that way with other musicians. It also didn't help that while moving the instruments, Sasuke had spotted Yagura and Sai together. Next he glanced at them, though, Yagura had disappeared, but Sai was with Gaara now. They appeared to be in the middle of a discussion.

He didn't try to analyze it since he was feeling like nothing could surprise him right now. Instead, he headed to the kitchen where, without having to ask, someone was already handing him a drink and congratulating him on his performance. It annoyed him that people kept trying to touch him or pat him on the back. But, hey, it meant the shots kept coming. Then, someone handed him yet another mixed drink. Next he knew, the world felt a lot better than 15 minutes ago. When a popular song started playing in the living room, the small crowd in the kitchen shifted and pushed him along, and he… didn't mind. Far from sober, he didn't have a problem with dancing, at least until he caught a glimpse of two figures out on the balcony. He stopped, having to push someone out of the way to see more clearly: Rin and Naruto. They stood close, Rin talking animatedly, even gesturing and, all of a sudden, she leaned in to hug the blond teen.

Stupidly, Sasuke stood there watching, wondering at these feelings blooming in his chest.

Anger. Jealousy. A violent, swelling _rage_.

It was only a hug, but somehow the alcohol compounded his bitterness.

The song ended, and the countdown to the new year began. Though the music had been shut off, someone flashed the strobe light above, blinding him. He remembered holding his hand up to the light, feeling deafened by the sound of everyone counting. People knocked into him, someone threw an arm around his neck, and then there was a deafening roar when the count hit zero. Yet, Sasuke was still watching outside, waiting for what he inevitably knew would happen.

A _kiss_.

But, he didn't want to see it, so he turned away and let himself be dragged around and hugged by acquaintances and various musicians he'd once played with. He doubted they were any more sober than he was, so they didn't seem to notice his irritation or lack of reaction to all of the celebrating going on around him. Where could he go to get away?

Stumbling through the crowd, Sasuke walked down the hall, ignoring Sai, who he was standing in line for the toilet. Maybe it wasn't his most _stellar_ moment, but as soon as the next person came out of the bathroom, Sasuke cut in line and went inside, locking the door behind him. He ignored the pounding on the door and the yelling that followed. If they had to take a piss, they could go outside or go home. He didn't fucking care. Light-headed, he grabbed hold of the sink and ran the water for a while, scooping it up in his hand and bringing it to his mouth. There was a clawfoot tub in the corner of the room, surrounded by a plastic shower curtain. He stared at it for a while, compelled to crawl inside the bathtub for some reason.

Pushing the curtain aside, he stepped in and sat down, love. It felt a lot more quiet and peaceful in here. Sasuke pulled the curtain closed, cursing that he'd left the light on. Not that it mattered since after only five minutes of lying there, he'd already passed out cold.

* * *

Naruto was on the balcony with Rin when the sliding glass door behind them abruptly opened. They'd been talking for a good while out here, mostly because Rin saw him after his "talk" with Yagura. Apparently he couldn't convince her that his cheeks and eyes were red from the cold alone, so after a lecture and a heart to heart that resulted in both of them missing the countdown, they'd been sharing a (contemplative?) silence for the past 10 minutes.

"Hey, uh," said Fuu, who was standing beside Gaara and Sai. "We might have a problem?"

"What do you mean 'problem'?" Rin asked, pulling down the hood of her jacket.

"No one's been able to get into the bathroom for the last 20 minutes, and, um… apparently it's _Sasuke_ in there? I don't know if he's sick, or what, but the door is locked."

"Sasuke?" Rin glanced curiously at him as if he knew what was going on.

"I saw him go in," Sai spoke up. "He cut in front of the whole line."

"Well." Naruto tried to keep from snapping. "Did anyone try _knocking_ down the door?"

"Did you _really_ expect us to break her door?" Gaara asked.

"Maybe he had a bad burrito for lunch," Sai added, and Naruto shot him a glare.

Naruto was already on the move, shoving past the three of them. "I'll do it. I'll take care of it."

He knew Rin was following him and didn't necessarily have a plan other than he was going to beat the crap out of Sasuke for being so stupid.

"What the hell is he thinking?" He mumbled while pushing people out of his way to get to the bathroom.

A group of angry looking party goers were all staring at him.

"What?" He asked. "If you gotta pee that bad, take it outside."

Rin squeezed his arm. "They can use mine. It's fine."

As she went to open her bedroom up for all these idiots in line, Naruto knocked on the door.

"Sasuke?" He called, having to shout over the sound of the music. "You in there?" When he saw that Gaara and Sai were standing nearby, he asked: "Did anyone think of tryin' to call him?"

"Why would _we_ have his number?" Sai asked.

" _You_ were the one makin' out with Yagura," Naruto shot back. "Could've asked him."

Sai glared. "None of _us_ are Sasuke's caretaker. We thought it was best to get you."

"Tch, well I'm not his caretaker either." Naruto rapped on the door again, yelling more loudly. "Sasuke, you're holdin' up the line, asshole! Can you at least open the door?"

When there was still no reply, Naruto took out his phone and gave Sasuke's cell a call. No matter how many times he tried, there was no answer. He jiggled the knob and tried to force it open, but he eventually had to ask Rin for a screwdriver. It took some time before she found it, but from a purple toolbox, she pulled a small screwdriver and handed it to him. Meanwhile, there were a few people gawking, but most had either followed Rin or returned to the living room or kitchen. With Gaara's assistance, Naruto was able to remove the door from its hinges by unscrewing the brackets. It took 10 minutes, and, at first, he was confused when he found the bathroom empty. He and Gaara walked in, and so did Rin. Yagura (why hadn't _he_ kept an eye on Sasuke?) and Sai waited in the hallway, keeping watch so no one tried to film them with their phones. Any other time, it might've been funny but given his mood, Naruto wasn't laughing. Finally, Gaara thought to pull back the shower curtain, which is where they found Sasuke Uchiha passed out.

After sharing a concerned look with Rin, Naruto went to the side of the tub. He called Sasuke's name, but when he didn't receive a response, he got on his knees and slapped him across the cheek. Not receiving any kind of reaction, Naruto became slightly panicked, even trying to decide if he should call Itachi or 911 or take him to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. He slipped a finger under Sasuke's nose. Thankfully, he was still breathing.

"Maybe we should turn the shower on," Gaara suggested dryly.

Naruto glared at him.

"Maybe we should?" Rin agreed uncertainly, looking as anxious as he felt. "He's not waking up. Should we get him out of there? How can we wake him up?"

"Can you get me some bottled water and pain reliever? He's only passed out, but Gaara and I are gonna try to wake him up, okay?"

Rin looked relieved at being given a task. "O-okay. If you're sure?"

"It'll be okay," he reassured. "Just gonna slap a little water on his face. Should do the trick." Naruto offered a thumbs up for emphasis, even attempting a wide grin. "Promise."

Rin nodded and, as she left, closed the door behind her.

"Well, now what?" Gaara asked.

Naruto stared at Sasuke's limp form in the tub. "Let's hurry and get'm stripped, and _then_ we'll turn on the water. I don't know what else to do, do you?"

"Can't force him to vomit until he's conscious, so do whatever you think is necessary." Gaara came up beside him. "Let me know what I can do to help."

Stepping into the tub, Naruto started with Sasuke's boots. "I'll get his sweater and boots off. Then you can help me lift him when I need to get his pants off."

"Not entirely how I imagined this evening going," Gaara said.

"Yeah," Naruto agreed as he reached for Sasuke's belt and dropped it on the floor. "Me neither."

"Better you than anyone else." Gaara took all the clothes Naruto gave him and set them in a pile on the floor.

Once he'd removed everything except Sasuke's jeans, Gaara helped him get Sasuke to his feet. While Gaara had a hold of him below the armpits, Naruto pulled off Sasuke's pants and, ignoring the red-headed teenager's inappropriate smirk, Sasuke's underwear, as well.

"If you hold him in there with the water running," said Gaara. "Your clothes are going to get wet."

"It's fine," said Naruto. "I can borrow stuff. I'll even wear Rin's clothes if I have to."

"Do you want privacy?"

Naruto gave him a funny look. "What? Never seen a grown man naked before?"

"Grown?" Gaara repeated. "Only trying to be considerate if you wanted to get naked, too."

"He doesn't have _hypothermia_ ," Naruto replied, grunting with the effort it took to keep Sasuke upright while he struggled to reach for the shower knob.

"You got him?" Gaara held on until the water came spilling out of the showerhead, drenching Sasuke and himself (as well as Naruto's clothes).

He spun them around, taking the brunt of the first sprays of cold water. "Yeah."

Gaara stepped aside, and once the water was hot enough, he let it hit Sasuke in the face. Naruto held the teen's body to him, vaguely recalling a time when their situations had been reversed. Sasuke appeared to rouse but didn't open his eyes, but when Naruto gave him one last hard slap to the face, Sasuke's eyes shot wide open. Instinctively, he pushed Naruto away, and just as Sasuke was about to slip on the wet tub, Naruto leaned forward and caught him in his arms.

Sasuke held a hand to his chest. "Where am I?"

"A shower, dumbass." Naruto searched his face. "What the hell happened?"

Realizing the state of his undress, Sasuke glared at him. " _Where_ are my clothes?"

"Over there," he replied, without looking away or pointing. "By Gaara."

The curtain was shielding them, so it's not like Sasuke could see the other teen. Sasuke looked confused again. He stared at Naruto, then at the outline of Gaara standing behind the curtain. Then, his brow furrowed, his eyes became unfocused, and he tried to push Naruto off.

He held tight to Sasuke. "What's your problem? Why'd you lock yourself in the bathroom if you weren't feelin' well? You could've fallen and hit your head or choked on your own vomit."

"What do _you_ care?" Sasuke snarled, breath reeking of vomit and alcohol. "Why are you always… always bothering me, always in my face. Why can't you just take a hint?"

"Huh?" Naruto's voice went from calm to indignant. "You're the one who came in here and forced me to knock down the goddam door to make sure you were still alive."

"Just… leave me alone," Sasuke said almost pleadingly, echoing Naruto's earlier words to Yagura.

"Is that what you want?" He asked, voice lowering and eyes searching Sasuke's.

"Isn't itwhat youwant?"

Naruto's eyebrow arched. It was hard to understand him since he kept slurring his words.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked.

"Go away, Naruto." Sasuke pushed at his chest. "Your clothes are soaked."

He knew it was pointless arguing but couldn't help himself. "Whose fault do you think that is?"

The teen snorted. "Your own, for… always _involving_ yourself in everyone's business. I'm not your business anymore." Sasuke all but growled: "I _saw_ you."

"'Saw me'?" Naruto cocked his head, confused. "Saw me what? You're not makin' any sense."

Sasuke gave him another shove. "Tch. Stop trying to pretend you're pe..perfect."

Naruto grabbed his wrist, trying to prevent Sasuke from shoving him again. "Wait… what? Since when do I do that? Isn't that your job?"

Sasuke's gaze slipped lower, but Naruto didn't know what the hell he was looking at. His eyes were red, glossy, and unfocused. Looking at him, Naruto became acutely aware of Sasuke's naked state and how tightly he had him pressed to his body. Be that as it may, it wasn't exactly a sexy position to be in given the circumstances.

"Sasuke?" He gave him a shake, worried he might pass out again.

"...It's fine with me…," Sasuke said, eyes still lowered. "I-if you want to be with her."

"Be with her? Her _who_?" Naruto's grip on him tightened. "What the hell are you talkin' about, Sasuke?"

Sasuke raised his eyes, meeting Naruto's, but he said nothing. There was a knock on the door, and they heard Rin calling to them. It was then that he remembered Gaara was also there, listening to their conversation.

"Gaara—"

"I'm on it," he heard Gaara reply.

Opening the door, Gaara informed Rin about Sasuke's status. They could also hear Sai and Yagura asking questions, but after Gaara left the room, he shut the door.

Sasuke smirked once Gaara was gone. "Isn't Sai going to be interested why you're in the bath with me? Naked?"

"I think he gets the situation," Naruto replied curtly. "Besides, you're the one who worries about that stuff. Why should I care what he thinks about it?"

"Because," said Sasuke, cocking his head and tugging at a piece of Naruto's hair. "Then he'd… realize you've been lying to him all this time. That you're… a liar. Naruto."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, slapping his hand away. "Why are you bein' like this? Not that I haven't grown used to you actin' like a total asshole, but this isn't like you. I know you're drunk, but—"

"How would _you_ know?" Sasuke cut him off angrily and gestured at the shower curtain as if it were a person. "How long are you going to keep me in here? Like… a prisoner."

Naruto removed his arm from around Sasuke's waist. He was surprised when Sasuke clung to him only to quickly let go again as if realizing what he'd done. He braced his weight by leaning against the wall instead of Naruto. He looked as if he might get sick again.

"As always," Naruto replied softly, watching him in case he fell. "You're free to go whenever you want."

Sasuke blinked, then answered in an especially venomous tone: "How _can_ I, though. When you always end up chasing me like some lovesick _puppy_?"

"Me?" Naruto scoffed. "I chase _you_? Oh man, do you think highly of yourself. Must be nice."

"Must be nice," Sasuke sneered, "Telling me you have feelings for me and, a... _month_ later, hitting on one of my friends. Kissing her... in front of _everybody_. What's it like to be so _fickle_ , Naruto?"

Naruto opened his mouth to retort, but he was so confused by what Sasuke was saying that he didn't know where to start. Why did he feel compelled to argue with him despite knowing he was drunk and apparently out of his mind? Better to say nothing at all. What would be the point?

"Nothing to say, I see." Sasuke nodded. "Figures." He pushed Naruto out of the way, threw back the curtain, and stepped out of the tub, providing Naruto with a healthy glimpse of everything.

It finally occurred to him he could turn the water off. Now that he was drenched. Between the both of them, they'd gotten water all over Rin's floor, so he reached for a towel and started mopping it up. He tried to work out the things Sasuke had said in his brain. While he didn't understand _what_ the fuck Sasuke was even talking about, it didn't take a rocket scientist to piece together that Sasuke was clearly referring to Rin… but, uh, when had he ever _kissed_ her?

Wait. Why did Sasuke care anyway? He'd already rejected him.

"Let's say I did kiss Rin," Naruto spoke slowly. "Why would you care?"

Drunk Sasuke would be honest with him, wouldn't he?

Sasuke had his back to him. "I _don't._ "

"Then why'd you get so drunk you passed out in her tub?"

"It's a party, moron. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"

Naruto got up and hung the towel on a rack. "Since when do you care about that kinda thing?"

"Isn't that what I do?" Sasuke asked. "Only care about what… what _others_ think. Like, my father, for instance. My brother. ...You." He ticked off each example with his fingers.

"Me?" As Naruto began to reach for his shoulder, Sasuke dropped to his knees in front of the toilet and barfed. Not just once, but twice. Afterward, Naruto came to kneel beside him and held his hair out of the way. He rubbed Sasuke's back.

"I… don't need your help," Sasuke told him, wiping at his mouth. He sagged against the toilet.

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

"I don't like having your traitorous hands on me."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "...Should I leave you alone?"

"Do whatever you feel is best. Do your—"

He didn't finish. Once more, Sasuke hunched over the toilet lid and threw up. There was an empty glass on the sink for Rin's toothbrush, so he grabbed that, filled it with water and presented it to Sasuke, who had his arm on the toilet seat and head resting on his arm.

Naruto thought he might've passed out. "Sasuke?"

"Present," Sasuke mumbled, lifting his head to glare.

Naruto smirked.

"What?"

"Nothing." Naruto started to laugh. "Nothin' at all."

"Is this amusing you?" Sasuke asked, pushing his hair out of his eyes only for the dark strands to fall back into their original place.

"Kinda, yeah. Karma, I guess."

"Since…" Sasuke wiped at his forehead. "Since when is telling the truth… a punishable offense?"

"The truth?" Naruto repeated. "What's the truth here exactly?"

"That I can't… I can't be with you, Naruto. I made that p-perfectly clear."

Sasuke lay his head down again, still glaring at Naruto.

Naruto sat quietly beside him, contemplating a lot of things and still trying to piece together what had just happened, what Sasuke was saying. He couldn't understand why Sasuke was so angry. He didn't get it, and he found he was becoming fed up with Sasuke's mood swings.

"I should get you home," Naruto said finally. "Or you can stay at Rin's."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, you _look_ fine." Naruto scratched his cheek. "Should I call Itachi?"

"No."

He refused to suggest Yagura, but he couldn't just leave Sasuke here.

"Can you be moved, or will you throw up again?" Naruto asked, shivering because of these damn wet clothes.

"I'm fine, I said," Sasuke spat at him. "Stop _worrying_ about me. I'm not your concern anymore! I'm… I'm… You said it yourself, right? We're not even _friends_ anymore."

What the hell? Was he really trying to guilt trip him right now?

"Even if we weren't friends," Naruto clenched his fist, "I still wouldn't leave you alone right now."

Sasuke sighed. "Great. I get to be one of your charity cases… _again_."

"Charity case?" He asked. "God, you're so dramatic. Do you hear that?"

"What?" Sasuke asked irritably.

Naruto was officially tired of this shit. "I think I hear Panic at the Disco playin' in the distance. Or, is that My Chemical Romance? All that emo music sounds the same to me, but I'm sure you know that shit by heart."

Sasuke pulled a face. "Always with the jokes. You think you're so hilarious."

"It's a skill," Naruto replied easily. "What can I say? But, I wasn't really joking."

"Nothing. I want you to stop talking. You can shut up and get out."

Naruto's fingernails were digging into his palm. "Yeah, okay. That sounds like me."

He was glaring, but Sasuke was too out of it to even notice. Yes, he wanted to punch Sasuke in the face, but he needed to get him out of here. If Naruto took him to his home, Sasuke's parents would ask questions. Yagura… not an option. He would've called Itachi, but didn't want to piss him off more than he already had lately by dumping Sasuke on him when he was in this state.

When he glanced at Sasuke again, the teen had his eyes closed. Naruto, feeling a sudden onset of panic again, moved to touch his cheek. Shit. But, Sasuke's eyes opened—clear and intense—and Naruto became caught up in old feelings again.

No. He wasn't going to keep doing this. Just as quickly as old feelings began to surface, he squashed them down again. He replaced that yearning with anger, resentment, _bitterness_. Why did Sasuke have to make things so difficult? Always. It was so… frustrating. Why did Naruto _always_ have to be the one to push him, to salvage everything, to… make it right?

It was unfair. Not just with Sasuke, he was always…

 _Always_ pushing his feelings aside to accommodate other people. Especially Sasuke. Then again, Sasuke was the person who had so often made him feel like they were the only two people on the planet. Made him feel special and understood, like he had a place here.

But, so _what_? Sasuke also treated him like trash, and that wasn't fair either. He'd discarded Naruto so… so _easily_! After everything they'd gone through, everything he'd thought—

No. He was too emotional to be thinking about this stuff right now. Best to focus on what needed to be done, and that was get Sasuke to a place where he could sleep this off.

"Listen," he said, realizing there was only one option. "You're probably not gonna like what I have to suggest, and I don't like it much either. But, dad's on a work trip, and… there's only Gaara stayin' with me at the apartment. We can bring you back there if you need a place to crash."

"Wow, that's quite the offer," Sasuke replied sarcastically. He was speaking into his arm, so it kept muffling the sound of his voice.

"What?" Naruto moved his arm out of the way, and not gently either. "Did you just graciously accept my offer? Because I'm not sure you have many other options."

Sasuke glared, opened his mouth to reply and… _vomited_. Unfortunately, Naruto had been rather close at that point so some specks got on his shirt.

He pulled a face. "Oh, man. Now that's… just rude."

As Sasuke continued to barf up a variety of colored liquids, Naruto got to his feet and filled another glass of water. Soon he'd be dehydrated. Naruto wasn't super psyched to leave Sasuke alone, but it seemed like the alcohol was at least working its way out of his system. How much did he have to drink tonight anyway, and why hadn't anyone been watching out for him?

"I'll be right back," Naruto mumbled, though he doubted Sasuke heard him.

Once he was out of the bathroom, he found Rin and Gaara waiting in the hall. There was no sign of Sai or Yagura, which was… interesting.

"Where's Sai?" He asked.

"Jesus, Naruto. You're soaked," cried Rin. "You'll catch a cold. I'll go get you a hoodie. I think I have something that might fit." She glanced anxiously at the door. "Is… Sasuke okay?"

"Yeah." Naruto nodded. "Sorry for gettin' water everywhere, Rin. Just came out here to tell Gaara that we're headed out."

"You're leaving Sasuke here?" Gaara asked incredulously.

" _No_ ," he said. "Sasuke's comin' with us. I'm takin' him home."

Gaara looked surprised, but he didn't say anything further. Rin, meanwhile, went to find him some new clothes and a bag to put his wet belongings in. Once he was dressed, they could grab an Uber and head to the apartment. He'd let it go for tonight, but tomorrow… he and Sasuke needed to have a talk. Well, so long as he didn't end up strangling him before then.

At least Gaara would be around to play referee.

Naruto was looking at him now. "Thanks."

"For what?" Gaara had his hands in his pockets, seemingly calm despite everything that had happened.

"For just…" Naruto smiled. "Being such a good friend."

The corner of Gaara's mouth quirked. "I'm just happy you finally got your head out of your ass."

His smile wavered, and , averting his eyes, Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "Just think it's the right thing to do in this situation."

"Okay," said Gaara.

"Don't get any weird ideas. He's gettin' on my nerves. He's not usually like this."

"No?"

He sighed, thankful when Rin returned with some clothes.

"You can change in my room," she told him.

Naruto took the small pile she'd brought with a nod of thanks and entered her room, locking it behind just in case anyone came in trying to use the bathroom. He was about to take a seat on the bed, but ended up walking over to Rin's vanity. He stared at the picture of Rin and Sasuke for a while, but, after a few minutes, finally headed into the bathroom to dry off and change.

* * *

TBC


	16. Act IV: Better

a/n: What a long and winding road this fic has been. Keep in mind that this universe could carry on forever, so what happens after this is left to your imagination (even though I know everything that happens in my head).

Important songs for this chapter: SYML, "Where's My Love?"; Dean Lewis, "Lose My Mind" (acoustic); and Declan J Donovan, "Better"

* * *

 ** _This story is dedicated to Netamashii._**

* * *

After Sasuke finished getting dressed, he splashed some water on his face and checked himself out in the mirror. How had he let himself fall so low, and for what purpose? Because of _Naruto_? His younger self would've laughed at how pathetic he'd been tonight. Getting drunk over a boy, humiliating himself because he saw Naruto kiss someone else? What had he expected to happen? Only a couple hours earlier he'd been telling himself that he was selfish for getting in their way. Now, here he was again. And Naruto actually thought he could convince him to go to _his_ apartment? If anything, he'd crash at Yagura's or some other acquaintance's place.

Once he looked a little less like death, he thought he would try to slip out of the bathroom unnoticed and leave the party. Unfortunately, Naruto was standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall, and waiting for him as if he were Sasuke's babysitter. He had on different clothes than earlier and, to be honest, it annoyed and embarrassed him. Luckily he was good at blocking out things he didn't want to think about, and that included the past hour.

"Ready?" Naruto asked. "We've got your guitar."

He stared at him blankly. "I'm not going home with you."

"I asked if you wanted to go to your house."

"I'm not going to my house either," he replied, and walked away.

He made it all of three steps before Naruto grabbed his arm.

"What are you gonna do then?" Naruto asked. "Drink yourself sick again?"

His gaze slid toward the living room. "I'll go to Yagura's apartment."

Naruto let go of him. "You realize he's gonna leave with Sai, right?"

Sasuke tried not to show his surprise. "Then I'll grab his keys, crash there, and he can go home with Sai for all I care."

Despite walking away, Naruto followed and continued barking in his ear but Sasuke had already tuned him out thanks to many months of practice. The first person he spotted after entering the living room was Gaara. He was standing near the door, Sasuke's guitar strapped to his shoulder.

Sasuke went up to him and made a grab for it. Gaara, unresisting, simply stared at him without any real expression. Once again, Naruto came up to him and took hold of his arm.

"Sasuke, c'mon. Be reasonable. You know you can crash in dad's bed."

He adjusted where the guitar strap lay on his shoulder. "I'm fine, Naruto."

"You don't look fine." Naruto frowned. "You look like shit."

Glaring at him, Sasuke pushed his hair behind an ear. "Tell Rin I left. I'm sure she's annoyed your time together got cut short."

He glanced around the room, in search of Yagura, but not seeing him anywhere, Sasuke pulled out his phone and decided to text about getting a key off him. Meanwhile, he'd wait outside since all he really wanted to do was get the hell out of here. With thanks to a new group of people coming in through the front door, he did manage to push his way past Naruto. While Gaara had enough sense to leave it alone, Naruto chased him down the stairs. Sasuke finally stopped a foot away from the door, his temper rising and his head still pulsing from earlier.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked, eyes narrowed at Naruto.

Naruto was wearing his trademark stubborn expression. "I'm not gonna let you go anywhere. You still don't seem all that sober. I mean, Jesus, you passed out in Rin's bathtub! I've never seen you do anything like that before, so why would I let you leave by yourself?"

"What do you care, huh? Like you haven't been drinking all night? I'm not a charity case, Naruto. I don't need you to hold my hand because I had a few drinks. Go back to the party."

"I didn't have that much to drink," Naruto argued. "Definitely not as much as _you_. I'm sober enough to know I can't let you go unless you're headed home and can get there safely."

"You're not my mother," he replied coldly. "You're not my boyfriend. So stop trying to act like it."

Naruto's face turned bright red, and he knew he'd hit a nerve.

"In … in what _world_ do you have to be _together_ in order to worry about someone?" Naruto shot back after losing his earlier composure. "I know you've made it clear you don't wanna be with me. No need to keep rubbin' it in my face. If you're still tryin' to give me shit about Rin—"

He held up a hand to stop him, not wanting to hear Naruto talk about her. "I don't care. You and Rin would make a great couple. It's none of my business."

Naruto huffed. "We're—" But, then he snapped his mouth shut and scowled. "Whatever. Doesn't matter what I say anyway 'cause you're the one always lookin' for excuses to run away."

Sasuke stared at him, that look of Naruto's both infuriating and enticing. Always. Naruto _always_ did this to him, always threw him off balance, always left him feeling like his emotions were a splatter away from exploding like a Jackson Pollock painting. It was so tempting to push him, to fight him, to touch him. Anything that would repel him only to antagonize Naruto and draw him closer again. This push-pull thing they had going on, it was so…

"What?" Naruto barked. "Are you just gonna stare at me, or are you gonna realize I'm right?"

 _Exhilarating_.

"Alright." He tilted his head, giving Naruto a side-eye. "I'll go."

Instantly, Naruto's shoulders relaxed, though he glanced suspiciously at Sasuke. "Wait… really?"

"If it'll get you to shut up."

"That's… "

Naruto's bottom lip stuck out and, without intending to, Sasuke's gaze dropped and rose again. The blond teen licked his lips as if agitated. Naruto looked intense, serious, and determined, and far too sober for Sasuke's liking since he was suffering a few of its effects still.

"What's the catch?" Naruto asked.

"That you leave me alone for five minutes to have a smoke outside," he replied.

"You're gonna _smoke_? Nevermind. Do what you want, as long as we can get goin' soon. Have your cigarette, and I'll get Gaara. I swear to God, if you try to make a run for it, I'll call your mom."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What are you, in preschool?"

"When I talk to you, it sometimes feels like it," Naruto muttered and went back up to Rin's.

Sasuke watched him go, eyes lingering on the teen's butt because he couldn't help it. It had been his intention to cut and run, but for some reason he felt… amused. _And_ a little sad. He could only imagine what people were saying or thinking about him after hijacking Rin's bathroom, but there was some relief to it, as well. Like cracking that perfect image of himself everybody had.

Whatever. Too late now. Sasuke headed outside, taking out a cigarette he'd stolen from Yagura earlier. Except, he then remembered he didn't have a lighter. Lucky for him, a couple of guys walking out the door had one. He slipped the cigarette between his lips and let one of the guys light it. They told him they enjoyed his performance, asked when he'd be singing next.

"I don't sing," he said. "But you can follow me on social media."

Rolling the cigarette to the side of his mouth, he pulled out his wallet and offered the two of them a business card.

"Wow, cool. Thanks."

They waved and left, leaving him in peace again. Sasuke returned his wallet to his back pocket, leaned against the wall, and stared up at the falling snow, thinking a lot about his childhood and the past. Little things. Times with his family, especially Itachi. He wondered what his brother was up to right now and had an impulse to text him. Itachi would've known something was up, though, so he decided against it. He tried to keep thoughts of Yagura and Sai out of his head. Sasuke wasn't opposed to it exactly; he was just very confused by it. Didn't Sai like Naruto? Wasn't Yagura straight? Sasuke had thought all of Yagura's flirting was for show, but… maybe not. Unfortunately, images he'd rather not have in his brain started rearing their ugly heads.

"Wow, you're still here."

He looked over and saw Naruto coming out of the building, Gaara following behind.

"Thought for sure you woulda booked it."

For the first time, Sasuke had this thought that Naruto looked out of place. Why? He couldn't say. He had on his jacket and usual beanie. A strange feeling overcame him. It was a sense of foreboding, of despair. Seeing Naruto suddenly painted a clear vision of their imminent parting.

He felt like running again, felt himself starting to panic.

"Something wrong?" Gaara asked.

"I'm fine," he said. "Let me finish this, and we can go."

"I'll call for an Uber," Naruto said. "You can finish by the time they get here."

While he did that, Gaara slinked over and slid up to Sasuke without so much as a word. He thought the teen would start lecturing him or threatening him over Naruto. But, he didn't. Gaara merely stood there and, eventually, turned his head to look over at him.

"Can I…?" Gaara asked.

"...Sure."

Sasuke handed him the cigarette, a slight lift to his eyebrow.

"You sounded good earlier," Gaara commented and handed the cigarette to him. "Naruto's told me you're an amazing performer, but now I know he wasn't exaggerating."

Sasuke felt highly conscious the boy's lips had been on it after placing it between his own.

"It's Naruto," he said. "Exaggeration is part of the package."

Gaara snorted. "You're not wrong."

Sasuke cracked a smirk. "You didn't look as though you were having a good time."

"Parties aren't my thing."

Sasuke passed him the cigarette again, and Gaara took it wordlessly.

"I can relate," Sasuke replied.

"What, you don't _usually_ pass out in a bathtub?"

He shot the boy a look, but there was no malice in his words. Gaara was dry. Very dry. Similar to Naruto, but also very different. He reminded him of… _Oh_.

"You remind me of my older brother," he said.

"I feel like I should take that as a compliment."

"Hn." Even so, he couldn't forget it was Gaara's fault Naruto ended up at the police station. "Why'd you leave him?"

"I didn't want to," Gaara answered without needing to ask to what he was referring. "Naruto insisted. I have a previous record, so I would've been fucked."

"I don't think I could do that," Sasuke remarked haughtily. "Let someone take the fall for me."

Gaara shrugged and didn't answer. Sasuke found himself liking him less again. By then, Naruto was walking over to them, but waving their smoke out of the way.

"Should be here in five. Friggin' weather," Naruto grumbled, adjusting his beanie so that it covered both ears. "That's great, guys. Tryin' to die of lung cancer at the same time?"

"You were smoking earlier," said Gaara.

"Yeah, well, that's different." Naruto snatched the cigarette from Gaara, took a deep, long puff and handed it back. When he exhaled, it formed a tiny ring in the air.

"It's not different." Gaara dropped it on the ground and stamped it out under his shoe much to Sasuke's dismay. .

"Have you heard from Itachi tonight?" Naruto asked, seeming less angry at him than earlier. "I sent him a text earlier, wishin' him a Happy New Year, but he didn't text back."

"You know them," he replied, clearing his throat. "Probably out at some club of Deidara's choosing."

"Your brother has a surprisingly soft spot for Dei, I think."

"I guess."

Naruto was staring at him again. It made his skin itch.

"Want me to carry that for you?" Naruto asked, throwing him off further.

"No…" He licked his lips, which were dry and chapped from the cold. "I'm fine."

Naruto nodded and pulled out his phone again, tracking their Uber driver.

"Should be arriving in a minute," he said, so they began heading toward the sidewalk to wait.

Naruto walked on his right; Gaara was on his left.

"Did you say goodbye to Rin?" Sasuke kept his voice low.

"I did," Naruto answered.

When the car arrived shortly after—a black SUV— he almost panicked thinking it was Itachi. He noticed the license plate and breathed a sigh of relief. That would've been… not great timing.

"Heh," said Naruto. "Looks like Itachi's car. I guess I didn't notice."

Sasuke almost facepalmed. They got into the car, Naruto in the front passenger seat and he and Gaara in the two middle seats. There was a brief instant his and Naruto's eyes met in the rearview mirror but Naruto looked away almost immediately. As usual, the talkative teen struck up a conversation with their driver, a young male. Sasuke listened to them for a while as he watched the passing scenery, which included part of the University of Washington campus. The closer they drove toward downtown, the heavier the snow seemed to be falling. Along the way, he nodded off at least twice, long enough to have a very unsettling dream. Every once in a while, too, he thought he caught Naruto staring at him in the mirror. It also could've been paranoia because of the dream he'd just had. Where Naruto was older and dating a pretty woman with long, blonde hair. He couldn't remember all of the details, but it made him incredibly anxious.

What _would_ it feel like to completely let go of Naruto? To see him with another person? Someone who made him happy, made him laugh, and wasn't as twisted on the inside as Sasuke? Could he be happy for Naruto should that come to pass in the near future?

Or, would he live for the rest of his life knowing this moment, maybe even this night in particular, would end up being one of the single biggest regrets of his life?

* * *

By the time they arrived at the apartment, Naruto was in a strange mood. Every time Sasuke passed out in the back, he kept checking on him, hoping that he was still breathing. He was tired, a little _too_ sober, and moderately annoyed he'd cut short his night just because Sasuke couldn't handle his emotions. Naruto figured that if he let Sasuke go anywhere but home or his place, then he would've continued drinking. Or worse. Then again, given how manipulative Sasuke could be, maybe this was his plan all along.

After about a 30-minute drive through the snow, they arrived at his place downtown. Naruto wished the driver a Happy New Year, and they all got out of the car. Sasuke walked ahead of them on the sidewalk. He had the guitar strapped to his back, and Naruto's eyes kept lingering on it. The snow continued to fall, coating the street and sidewalks in pure white.

"Thought he was a nice guy," Naruto commented about the driver, but didn't receive a response from either Sasuke or Gaara.

Unsurprising considering for the entirety of the drive, the both of them had remained quiet.

"Thought he was a nice guy," Naruto commented, but didn't receive a response.

Maybe they were all tired. A shower sounded good, possibly even a cup of tea to calm his nerves. His dad really liked tea and because he was a fan of Sasuke's, usually had a variety of teas stocked in the kitchen. In silence, the three of them entered the elevator and headed up to his floor. He opened the apartment door. Everyone left their shoes by the mat. Naruto went about turning on the lights. Since it had been just him and Gaara the last couple days, the place wasn't exactly spotless. There were a few items of clothing strewn across the dining table, couch, and chairs. Because Gaara had been sleeping in his dad's bed, at least that room was clean. Gaara wasn't exactly a neat freak like Sasuke, but he didn't make much of a mess either.

Sasuke gave a look around the living room before carefully setting his guitar against the loveseat, but Naruto picked it up and hoisted it over his shoulder.

"I'll put this in dad's room so it doesn't get fucked up," he said. "Gaara and I have been wrestlin' around and makin' a mess of stuff. Wouldn't want it to get damaged."

Naruto brought the guitar into his dad's room and gently placed it in the walk-in closet. When he came back out into the living room, Sasuke and Gaara were speaking in quiet voices but stopped when they noticed decided to ignore it.

"Anyone want some tea?" He asked. "Sasuke?"

"I'm fine," said Gaara.

"I can make it myself," said Sasuke.

"Nah. You two seemed in the middle of a conversation, I'll make it. Do you want the usual?"

"...Sure," Sasuke replied.

Knowing he was in a bad mood, Naruto went into the kitchen. It got tiresome, having to drag stuff out of people, and Gaara and Sasuke could be like that. Not that Naruto was in the _mood_ for a heavy conversation—in fact, he'd say the _opposite—but_ it was… really irritating. From one of the cabinets, he retrieved a Starbuck's mug, a satchel of green tea, and a bottle of water for himself. He should make Sasuke drink water, too, now that he thought about it.

While leaning against the counter and waiting for the kettle, he allowed his eyes to rest. The peace and quiet was a nice change of pace from earlier. He hoped Rin hadn't been offended they'd left early. When he heard the soft sound of approaching footsteps, he cracked open his eyes and saw Sasuke standing in the doorway, watching him.

"It's not ready yet," he said, thinking he'd come for the tea.

"You don't have to wait in here," Sasuke replied. "I think I can manage waiting for water to boil."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "I'm just tryin' to make you tea. No need to cop an attitude."

Sasuke's fist twitched at his side. "I wasn't…"

"Well, it sounded like it. The way you said 'I think I can manage' in that tone."

"...Sorry." Sasuke cleared his throat. "I just figured you'd rather be with Gaara."

"I was actually just thinkin' some time alone sounded pretty good."

"Then I'll leave you alone." Sasuke began to walk away, but Naruto called him back.

"At least take a water with you." He grabbed another bottle from the fridge. "I'll bring your tea when it's ready. You should think about takin' a hot shower. This time _without_ your clothes."

Sasuke reached for the bottle, but was slow to release it from Naruto's hand.

Naruto raised an eyebrow when he wouldn't just take it. "What?"

"Nothing." Sasuke swiftly took it and dropped his arm to the side afterward.

Naruto didn't know why Sasuke kept staring at him. Was there something on his face? He wiped at his cheeks and mouth, which apparently amused Sasuke since he let out a strange laugh.

"What's so funny?" Naruto asked.

"I'm not sure."

"Are you still drunk?"

Sasuke shrugged. "It's possible."

"All the more reason to drink some water and take a shower. There's some Ibuprofen in the bathroom. Well, _you_ know where it is. Take it so you don't have a massive headache tomorrow."

The kettle started to whistle, so Naruto removed it from the burner. He had his back to Sasuke, but thought he felt the other boy's eyes on him while pouring the water into a mug. The satchel floated to the top, swirling around as he shook the mug.

When Naruto turned around, Sasuke had come closer, so that he only stood a few feet away. Naruto walked the rest of the distance to him and offered Sasuke his tea.

"Here you go. It's the green tea you like."

Sasuke held it in his hand. "Why are you… like this?"

"Huh?" Naruto was confused. "Like what?"

Sasuke didn't answer.

"It's just tea, Sasuke," he said. "It's not like I've forgotten what's gone on between us for the past month. It's simple courtesy and manners. You're a guest, you could get sick. Here's your tea."

Sasuke appeared as though he had something to say. Naruto waited… and waited. And, like usual, Sasuke couldn't come up with the right words in time, so Naruto decided to leave.

"After you finish that, take a shower," Naruto said on his way out. "I'll go have mine first. My hair's still damp from earlier. Should dry it soon before I get sick, too."

He left the kitchen and spotted Gaara throwing a pile of sheets on the couch.

"What are you doin'?" Naruto asked.

"Sasuke can have your dad's bed, I'll take the couch."

"... _Why_? He can sleep on the couch, Gaara. Or you can sleep with me."

"You move around too much," Gaara replied. "It's fine. Puts him closer to the toilet in case he needs to vomit some more. I don't want to have to ever smell that again."

"...Alright." Naruto squinted at him, trying to understand why he was being so thoughtful… and toward Sasuke no less. "I'm gonna go shower. Unless you want to first?"

"I'll take one tomorrow morning. I'm tired."

Naruto nodded. "Sorry, yeah. I hope you weren't tired all this time?"

Gaara gave him a blank look, which meant yes. Naruto felt guilty.

"Sorry for dragging you along then," he mumbled.

Before Gaara could say anything, Naruto returned to his bedroom so that he could pick out some pajamas from his dresser. He left his room and entered the bathroom. The first thing he did was strip. He didn't like wearing other people's clothes normally. He should wash and return them to Rin this week. It was nice of her to lend them to him, though. Truly, the more he thought about her, the guiltier he felt. Not just Rin, but Gaara, and even Sai, too. He'd spent most of the night only thinking about himself, and while it was true that everyone should be responsible for their own fun, he _could've_ thought more about whether they were enjoying themselves at the party _he'd_ invited them to.

After relieving himself, Naruto turned on the shower. He scrubbed his hair, relishing in having privacy and space. It was harder than he thought to turn his brain off. He kept thinking about Rin, and then about Sasuke. It was confusing. The more he kept trying to figure things out on his own, the more his head started to hurt. Tonight, he'd been disappointed in Sasuke. He couldn't figure out what he'd been trying to do or why he'd become so upset. Was it really because Sasuke had thought he'd kissed Rin? Even if he had, why was that Sasuke's business, and why would he do that to Sasuke anyway anyway? Why was he acting jealous at all? Or was it simply possessiveness? That wasn't nearly as flattering as it should've been. If it kept interfering with Naruto's other relationships, then that wasn't okay either.

Why did Sasuke have to make everything so difficult anyway? If he could just express himself in actual words instead of grunts or passive aggressive behavior that he was unhappy about something, then maybe they could understand each other. But, figuring everything out—including Sasuke's feelings—shouldn't fall solely on Naruto's shoulders. He'd been open and honest. He'd put himself out there. If Sasuke had said things to him that he didn't mean—

Well, that was on Sasuke, wasn't it? And Naruto would never have the answers to what was going on in Sasuke's head unless it came straight from his mouth.

He picked up the body wash from off one of the shelves, squeezed it onto a sponge, and began washing his body. It felt so good, he let out a groan. The last 10 months had felt… both short and long. When he'd moved to Seattle, he'd lost his mother only a few months earlier. He was angry, bitter, and resentful. Sasuke had been one of the first friends he'd made, someone he'd grown close to, someone who made things start to feel normal again. It was _because_ of that bond that it crushed him that Sasuke could treat him like this. That he could discard him like trash despite their history. That Naruto could bare his soul and feelings to him and be treated so cruelly.

Stupidly, he'd thought Sasuke felt the same at the time he confessed. He'd been too cocky, too overconfident in their relationship and what all the things they'd been doing together meant. Sasuke had a history of casual physical relationships, so why hadn't Naruto realized? Did that make it his fault? Was it his problem? Did he just need to move on? Was it right to bring Sasuke here tonight, or should he let Sasuke deal with his own shit? He didn't know. Sometimes it was too overwhelming, and when he began doubting himself, it only made things worse. Scrubbing his fingers through his hair, Naruto rinsed all the suds off of his skin and turned off the water. He grabbed for the towel he'd left on the toilet and wrapped it around his waist.

In case anyone else wanted to shower, Naruto grabbed the blow dryer from underneath the sink and went across the hall into his bedroom. He could hear the sound of the TV and wondered if Gaara and Sasuke were talking again. They seemed awfully chummy tonight. Naruto decided to let them know he was out of the shower, so he headed to the living room.

"I'm out if either of you wanna shower," he said.

They both turned to him. No response, yet again.

"Alright then. I'm gonna go change."

Giving up on trying to understand them, Naruto went back to his room, shut the door, and changed into a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. He sat on the edge of the bed, reading through some messages on his phone while drying his hair. At some point, he thought he heard the shower and turned off the blow dryer to make sure. Yeah, someone was in there. He set the blow dryer aside and shot off a quick message to Rin to let her know they'd arrived safely. She didn't reply right away, so he set his phone on his desk, needing a break from it anyway. A break from people in general. He lay on the bed, only meaning to shut his eyes for a few minutes. Naruto felt wiped and emotionally drained. It was… so strange knowing Sasuke was in the apartment. Even though he'd stopped by before Naruto flew to Chicago.

It was unsettling to him, too. How, even after _everything_ , he was _still_ running to Sasuke's rescue.

And Sasuke didn't want anything to do with it, really. When he looked back on everything, had Sasuke ever appreciated him? He used to think so. It's true Naruto would've done what he did tonight for anyone in trouble, but… what would it take to get over him? How many times would he have to hear Sasuke say cruel, awful things before giving up hope? Even if, by some miracle, Sasuke _did_ have feelings for him, would a relationship between them work? Would it last? It would be a relationship where they'd have to tiptoe around Sasuke's dad, hide, or lie about being together. A relationship where they couldn't be freely affectionate with one another (at least for Sasuke's sake). Is that something Naruto could live with?

Or, was it possible Sasuke had been right all along in pushing him away? If Sasuke did have feelings but thought a relationship wouldn't work… was that reasonable?

No.

Naruto didn't think so. There were a _million_ better ways to handle the situation. But, this was Sasuke he was talking about, and Sasuke Uchiha…

He never made anything easy for Naruto, but he wouldn't be Sasuke if he didn't.

* * *

When he finished his tea and had grown tired of Gaara's _meaningful_ glances and amusingly _dry_ back-handed comments, Sasuke decided to take a shower. It was clear Gaara had an issue with him and expected him to do _something_ , but what the _fuck_ was he supposed to do? Walking by Naruto's room earlier, the door had been closed, and Sasuke wondered if he'd already fallen asleep. There had been the slightest impulse to knock on his door, yet he couldn't think of an excuse for it. He supposed he could've asked to borrow some clothes, but asking Naruto for anything… Sasuke would've rather ripped off a couple of fingernails.

In the shower, he gave the shampoo a sniff, and felt slightly disoriented because it smelled like Naruto. Often times that same scent had lingered on his pillow and sheets. He scrubbed it through his hair, trying not to think of how it felt earlier to have Naruto's body pressed against his in Rin's tub. He supposed his ego could take some satisfaction in having known Naruto intimately; however, it didn't make it any easier in getting over the image of Naruto with Rin. If he'd not gone to the party, if he'd not interfered, would those two have hooked up? Why did the thought of them together make him want to _rip_ his hair out?

The scalding hot water felt good on his clammy skin, and it was a welcome distraction from his turbulent thoughts. Not wanting to hog the shower, though, he got out after 10 minutes. He grabbed for one of the extra towels and wrapped it around his waist. Sasuke searched under the sink for the blow dryer only to remember he'd heard Naruto using it earlier. Swallowing his pride, Sasuke left the bathroom, and, this time, found Naruto's door to be open. He went inside and saw the blow dryer on the desk and Naruto's phone beside it. While he was staring at it, he felt a presence behind him. He turned and discovered Naruto standing in the doorway

"I had stuff in the dryer," Naruto had a stack of clothes for him in his hands. "Thought you'd appreciate wearin' somethin' clean. There's jeans and a sweatshirt for tomorrow, too. I gave you boxers, but don't feel like you have to wear 'em if that's weird."

"Why would it be weird?" Sasuke asked, accepting the clothes with some trepidation.

Naruto shrugged. "Think you know what I mean. Changed the sheets on my bed, too. Gaara had been sleepin' on it, and I'd been sleepin' in Dad's bed."

"Gaara doesn't have to sleep on the couch."

"He insisted, and _he's_ more stubborn than me. Maybe even _more_ stubborn than you."

Sasuke could only stare, angry somehow. "I'm going to borrow your hair dryer. Is that okay?"

"Uh, _yeah_. It's why I left it out."

His eyes narrowed. "If you have a problem with me staying, you shouldn't have offered."

"I'm not—" Naruto lowered his voice. "I'm not gonna let you pick another fight. Use it, use whatever. Did you take somethin' for your head, do you need a bottle of water?"

"No." Sasuke picked up the blow dryer. "You look tired. You've done enough. Go to sleep."

Naruto stared, his expression tightening.

"I didn't mean that in a sarcastic way," he clarified.

"Sorry, it's become really hard to tell lately," Naruto bluntly replied, running a hand through his hair. "I'll bring you those things in a minute. I'll let you dry your hair. Don't wanna catch a cold."

Before he could say anything else—not that he understood why he kept wanting Naruto to stick around—Naruto turned and left. It was an abrupt departure. Sasuke stared at the empty doorway for a minute, a mix of anger and longing building in his gut.

Feeling dizzy and off-balance, he took a seat on the bed and went about drying his hair. Afterward, he shut the door halfway to change into the clothes Naruto brought.

Pulling on Naruto's boxers had a strange affect on him. He then put on the pants and shirt, and when Naruto still hadn't returned with whatever he was getting, Sasuke found himself drawn to the pictures taped on the wall above the dresser. He took a closer look at them, maybe out of morbid curiosity. When he saw the picture of Kushina, he suddenly realized he'd never asked Naruto about his trip to Chicago. He felt a pang of guilt but quickly dismissed it. Why _should_ he feel bad about it? Surely Naruto had other people to talk to. It's not as if he'd ever been particularly great at comfort anyway. Naruto was better off getting it from somewhere else.

Sasuke started to get itchy and uncomfortable looking at the photos, so he turned away and got into the bed. He pulled back the covers. Naruto had never been good at making a bed, so everything was tucked in sloppily. But the sheets, the pillow cases, and the comforter all smelled like him. As soon as his head hit the pillow, there was a very heavy, very hollow feeling growing in his chest. He was reminded of that terrifying dream from the other night and that feeling of losing something important to him. Next he knew, there was a tear falling from the corner of his left eye. The tears came more quickly no matter how he tried to rub them away.

Gripping the sheets, Sasuke shut his eyes and tried to will it away: the emptiness, the loneliness, the _regret_ , and—

The guilt.

He pushed it deep down, not wanting to admit that he _ached_. Nothing he could do about it now. He'd made the decision to cut ties and needed to accept that meant Naruto would eventually begin dating other people. Or, maybe "eventually" was being hopeful?

Maybe all Naruto was doing was waiting for his blessing, but Sasuke was too much of an asshole to give it. Then again, this feeling of anguish may never go away until he did something about it, but what _should_ he do? Give Naruto permission to date Rin, or…

Spill his guts? Yeah, right. He'd already embarrassed himself once tonight.

Yet…

Tonight, Naruto had stayed beside him, had taken care of him, and had invited him to stay even though he clearly resented him. He didn't know how he could ever live up to Naruto's high expectations. He already knew he would've disappointed Naruto eventually had he said yes. If anything, he'd done Naruto a favor and kept trying to convince himself of as much. Too bad telling himself just that, every day for the past month, hadn't made him feel any less shitty.

...Or lonely.

This pain, though, he knew… It was something he could endure. As Naruto would say, he'd always been good at running and hiding. But…

Sasuke wiped at his eyes one last time.

How good might it feel if, one day in the future, he could prove Naruto wrong?

* * *

"What are you going to do?" Gaara asked.

Naruto was spreading the sheets across the couch since Gaara hadn't done it yet.

"Going to do?" He repeated. "I'm gonna make you a bed. Unless you'd rather have dad's room."

"No, the couch is fine." Gaara took hold of his arm. "Naruto."

"What?" Playing dumb, he snapped the sheet and proceeded to tuck it into the cushions.

"Whatever you need to say to him. Stop running from it."

"I'm not running," he said exasperatedly. "That's Sasuke's job."

Gaara pulled him, turning him around so that they stood face to face.

"He's here, isn't he? After everything, he came back with us."

"Yeah, well." Naruto, growing irritable with this line of conversation, scratched the back of his neck. "He didn't have much choice. I wasn't gonna let him stay with Yagura… or alone. Anyway."

Gaara released his arm. "If he means nothing to you anymore then why are you this bothered? Why are you always so bothered when it comes to him?"

"Because…" Naruto felt his eyes begin to sting. "He's…"

He looked away, embarrassed when he felt the tears begin to roll down his cheek.

"He's important to me, Gaara."

"Just because someone is important to you," Gaara replied, nodding. "Doesn't necessarily mean that the person is good for you. Even if I can tell he cares about you, even if you care about him. Maybe the timing isn't right. I guess you have to ask yourself: Can you still be friends with him?"

"I—" Naruto bit his lip, stifling a sob. "I… I just don't know anymore." He covered his face.

In an act he'd not seen since his mother's funeral, Gaara hugged him, and, as quietly as possible, Naruto sobbed into Gaara's shirt, forehead resting on the other boy's shoulder.

"Do whatever you think is right," Gaara said. "Because that's the right thing to do."

Naruto, wiping snot from his nose, let out a laugh. "Okay, Yoda."

"You know what I mean."

He gripped Gaara's arms, attempting to gather his courage. "I do. I know what I have to do. But it's… it's so hard. He was my best friend, Gaara. I loved—" He inhaled. "I love him."

Gaara gave him a steady look. "Not every friendship or relationship ends because the people stop caring about each other, but sometimes it becomes about what's best for both of you."

"Jesus, when did _you_ become such a wise old man? This whole time, have you been in Tibet or somethin', livin' with the monks? Is this a wig you're wearin'? Are you actually bald?"

Smiling, Naruto raised his head off Gaara's shoulder and pulled at his hair.

"Yes," Gaara answered him dryly. "So please stop snatching my wig."

Naruto barked out another laugh. "How do you know about stuff like that? Aren't you adverse to pop culture and social media and all that crap?"

"True, but I still hang out with you. I know what the kids are about these days." Gaara smirked.

Even though he knew Gaara would hate it, Naruto gave him one last hug.

"Thank you," he said.

"No problem."

Naruto smiled. "What, not gonna say 'Go get 'em, Tiger'?"

Gaara offered a dry look. "I would never say that. Now, please let me sleep, and whatever happens, keep the door shut. I don't want to hear things that will scar me for all eternity."

He flushed. "What—why would you think somethin' like that—No, you know what? Nevermind. Try not to rent porn on here 'cause my dad'll find out and have me by the balls."

"I would never have, but when you put it like that, I may have to."

"Heh." Naruto threw another pillow and blanket on the couch. "See you in the mornin'."

"Goodnight, Naruto."

Feeling lighter now, Naruto grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen and some Ibuprofen from the bathroom. The door to his bedroom was half-closed, but there appeared to be a light on. Should he knock? Was Sasuke asleep? Naruto almost had his hand pressed to the door when he had a sudden flash of his dream from when he was in Chicago.

 _I'm sorry_. _I love you_. _Goodbye, Naruto_.

Sasuke's last words to him. Why were they echoing in his head right now? This feeling, it split his heart in two. Thoughts started to race through his head: Had he done enough to get his feelings across to Sasuke? Would it be okay to have hope, or was it right to accept Sasuke's decision without putting up a bigger fight? Was timing that important even if two people felt the same?

Naruto… suddenly felt very guilty. Like he'd failed in a way. He ended up pushing open the door just to get this feeling to stop. The lamp on his desk spread a soft yellow glow across the bed. Sasuke lay beneath the covers and was facing the wall. He appeared to be asleep.

Should he drop the water and pills off, or wake him? In the midst of trying to decide, he heard a quiet cry of distress come from the bed. It happened a second time, and Naruto's heart skipped a few beats. He set everything on the desk and went to the side of the bed. He put a knee up on the edge, watching as Sasuke tossed beneath the covers. Naruto crawled to the other side, hand hovering in hesitation over Sasuke's shoulder. But when he saw the tears staining Sasuke's cheeks, Naruto shook him and called his name. It took nearly a minute before he awoke.

Eventually, Sasuke rolled over, but his eyes kept shifting back and forth as if he didn't know where he was. His gaze finally landed on Naruto, eyes bloodshot and cheeks shining. Naruto fought an urge he was having to wipe away the other boy's tears.

"You… okay?" Naruto's voice was hoarse.

"It was…," Sasuke blinked several times, gaze remaining unfocused. "...Just a bad dream."

"Yeah, seemed like."

"I seem to keep having those."

Naruto wanted to ask what he meant, but it didn't seem the time to pry. Sasuke continued to look frighteningly disoriented. He started to get off the bed with the intention of handing him his water, but Sasuke's arm shot out from under the covers. He gripped Naruto's shoulder, not allowing him to move. Naruto turned to look at him, a question in his eyes.

Sasuke, brow deeply furrowed, licked his lips. "I had this dream… that you disappeared. We were in a cabin in the woods. We were in the kitchen, making food. You were laughing and joking. I…"

He paused as if having trouble recalling, dark eyes shifting side to side, then focusing on him.

"I asked you to get something from outside," said Sasuke. "I don't know why I didn't get it myself. I was busy cutting vegetables. You left without arguing, and I waited. I remember getting mad at you for taking so long. After a while, I went outside to look for you… to yell at you for being so—"

Sasuke, biting into his lip, looked _so_ vulnerable. Like the Sasuke he'd known before all of this mess. Before he'd decided to confess, before all these feelings had fucked up their friendship.

"...When I went out, it was dark, and I called to you. You didn't answer. I ran around the house looking for you, but you were nowhere. I had this feeling, though. That you were… just gone."

His hand slid down the length of Naruto's arm; Naruto watched it.

"It was just a dream, Sasuke."

Sasuke's voice was low and strange. "...Was it?"

"Clearly. I mean. You're here. I'm here. No one's disappeared."

"People…," Sasuke looked directly at him. "Can disappear anytime."

"Of course they can," Naruto said. "People move, people leave, people _die_. That's life."

"Yeah."

Naruto stared at him, confused by what he was feeling. "Let me give you some water."

This time he was able to break free of Sasuke's hold and stood up to grab the water. He returned to the bed and handed it to him.

"Drink this."

Sasuke accepted it with a nod. "Thanks."

"Better?" He asked.

"I'm not sure."

"All because of a dream?" Naruto picked at the fabric of his pajama pants.

"I never got the chance to ask you," said Sasuke. "About Chicago."

"What about it?" He brushed his hand flat, moving it across his leg.

Naruto stared at him, still pulling at his pants. It felt strange to have Sasuke in his bed and for them to be talking like this, like how they used to. It made him… a little angry. With himself and with Sasuke. That in the moments where it seemed Sasuke was being normal or throwing him a bone of attention that Naruto was so quick to cling to it. To cling to anything Sasuke gave him.

But, he was so tired of this cycle. Never knowing which Sasuke he'd get. Wasn't he just… beaten down after all of these months of trying to be the one to always fix things that went wrong between them? Hadn't he already realized this was a one-sided relationship? So, why did he keep letting his guard down whenever he felt sympathy for Sasuke?

Even as the words Sasuke kspoke that morning came so easily to mind. In a way, it terrified him how much he'd let Sasuke hurt him up until now, but he still felt… so much for him.

"I… don't know," Sasuke answered. "I just know I should've asked."

He couldn't think, didn't know what to say or how to answer. "Yeah. But, it's cool. It was fine."

"That's all you have to say?" Sasuke's eyebrow arched, and Naruto immediately felt irritated by his tone, as if Sasuke expected he'd still be willing to share important things with him.

"You should sleep, Sasuke. You had a long night."

Again, Naruto moved off of the bed and handed a couple of pills to Sasuke, who kept staring at him strangely. Seeing as though Sasuke had nothing else to say, Naruto slipped off the bed. He spotted a sock underneath his desk chair and threw it in the hamper by his closet. Feeling disoriented himself, he went ahead and turned off all of the lights so Sasuke could sleep.

"Naruto."

He glanced back at Sasuke, barely able to see him in the dark. "Yeah?"

There was silence that lasted a minute and, just when Naruto thought Sasuke wouldn't say whatever he had on his mind, he heard him sit up in the bed.

"...I'm sorry," he said, and Naruto thought he hadn't heard him right.

"Sorry?" He asked, figuring he meant about the trouble he'd caused tonight. "For what?"

"The things I said to you that morning. I'm sorry."

Naruto sucked in a sharp breath that felt like swallowing ice. "...What?"

"I'm saying that I was sorry. I was wrong."

His body moved on its own as he took one step, then another toward the bed.

Naruto grabbed hold of the footboard for support. "Why are you saying this _now_?"

"Because I know I'll only stop feeling this way if I say it," Sasuke replied. "I have more to say, but I don't know if I should, or if you want to hear it. You haven't liked much of what I've said lately."

"What more?" Naruto asked stupidly, his heart racing.

"Come here." Sasuke beckoned him with a slight raise of two fingers.

"I think I'd rather stay here," he replied, voice barely above a whisper.

"I'll come to you." Sasuke got out of bed. "Like I should've a month ago."

He walked toward Naruto, and Naruto wanted to back away, but he couldn't. Sasuke stared at him, so serious and focused that he was unable to suspect him of being anything less than sober. race amounts of moonlight slipping into the room illuminated the pale teen's features.

"I won't touch you even though I want to," Sasuke said to him, as if this were a dream.

He looked down and found Sasuke's fists at his side, as if he really were restraining himself. Naruto looked up at him again, so nervous he couldn't stop chewing the inside of his cheek.

"W-what is it you want to say exactly?" He asked nervously.

Sasuke took a deep breath and let it out. "I _love_ you."

" _Huh_?" Naruto's knees gave out, and he had to grab onto the doorknob for support.

"I love you," Sasuke repeated.

"I'm sorry…" Naruto's voice was nearly inaudible. "What is it you're saying?"

"I always loved you," Sasuke's voice was surprisingly calm. "From the day I met you."

"W-what? That's not p-possible," Naruto stuttered.

"It's true," Sasuke confessed. "I hated when you were with other people because I wanted you to myself, but I knew I couldn't have you since I would never be able to give you more than what we had. Not that I expected you would ever feel the same as I did. When you told me you were in love with me… I was happy. So, what happened between us that night you told me how you felt, it wasn't a lie. At the time, I did think I could come out, but with what happened to my father, I thought it was a sign it wouldn't work, but mostly… I _knew_ I couldn't date you, Naruto. Partially because I'm worried about what might happen to my family, but I also don't think that I could truly make you happy. Not the way I am now. And, I knew you'd wait, but I don't want you to."

Naruto wiped at one of his eyes. "I don't _believe_ you."

"Why would I lie? What would be the point? I already hurt you. Why would I lie about this?" Sasuke attempted to reach for him, but Naruto took a step back and bumped into the door.

"Because," said Naruto, his body shaking uncontrollably. "You always tell me what I want to hear. When you want something. You're only manipulating me, and I—"

"I'm not saying anything's changed. I'm only telling you the part I kept from you. That I _love_ you, but I _can't_ be in a relationship with you, and I _am_ sorry for how I treated you."

"Let me get this straight." Naruto's temper hit the ceiling. "Are you _rejecting_ me a _second_ time?"

"No." Sasuke took a step toward him, attempting to back him against the door. "And yes."

Naruto placed a hand to Sasuke's chest to keep him from coming closer. "I don't wanna hear this then. This doesn't do me _any_ good at all. Why would you _tell_ me shit like this right now?"

"Would you rather I lie?" Sasuke asked.

" _Yes_!" Naruto shouted at him, unable to hold back all of the anger he'd been holding onto all this time. "At this point, _yes_. I can't even—I … can't _process_ this right now. Why now, why tonight? When you've already crushed my heart over and over again, so telling me _now…_ that you always loved me? It's cruel!" He pushed him away. "What the fuck is _wrong_ with you, _Sasuke_?"

Sasuke grabbed the front of his shirt. "Naruto."

"No!" He cried, trying to push him away.

Taking hold of his wrist, Sasuke refused to let him go. "You're not being rejected. I'm _not_ rejecting you. I have feelings for you, Naruto. Annoying feelings that have never gone away no matter how hard I tried to push you, and I'm telling you that I'm not worthy of you."

Naruto snorted. "That's just an excuse because you're afraid."

"If that's true," said Sasuke. "All the more reason I don't deserve you because I _know_ you deserve to be with someone who's not afraid to walk down the sidewalk while holding your hand or not afraid to call you their boyfriend while sitting down to dinner with their family."

Sasuke touched his cheek and had the audacity to look at him with tenderness.

"I love you, Naruto. If we were older—"

"Things don't work that way," he snapped, shaking his head. "They just don't."

"I know." Sasuke dragged a thumb across his cheek, wiping away another tear. "Don't cry because of me anymore."

"This is stupid, though," Naruto snarled, trying and failing to keep his voice down. "If you _feel_ for me what I feel for you, then why... _why_ are you making it more difficult than it has to be?"

"Because… " Sasuke, tilting his head, leaned in until their lips nearly touched. "I love you."

He was shaking so hard. "Stop _saying_ that, dammit!"

"When have I ever stopped thinking about you, though?" Sasuke asked him, breath touching his skin. "I'm only ever content when I'm with you. I only feel like myself when I'm with you. When you aren't around, I feel like half a person, and you think I don't understand what that means?"

Sasuke's lips brushed the corner of his lips, and Naruto shut his eyes.

"Then why are you doing this?" He asked. "Why are you so close?"

"Because you're letting me," Sasuke answered. "And because I want to be."

"Shut up."

This was too much for him to take. Fingers traced down his neck, over his chest, then down his side, which is where Sasuke's hand came to rest, right above his hip.

"Do you really want me to?" Sasuke asked.

"I don't see the point in anything happening anymore if you don't want me." He opened his eyes again only to wish he hadn't. God, did Sasuke look beautiful.

The hand on his hip moved up and down so lightly; his body reacted to the touch.

"I want you. That should never be a question in your mind," Sasuke murmured.

"You want me sexually." He shifted away from Sasuke's touch, though it felt like dragging his feet through mud. "You don't want me in a romantic sense at all. You'd sleep with anybody."

"I don't want to sleep with _anybody_. I want to sleep with _you_. But you shouldn't, because I _can't_ give you what you want! I know that for a fact, but I'm only telling you how I feel. I know I owe it to you, to tell you the truth… I know you may be angry right now, but—"

"No, I won't believe it," Naruto interrupted. "You don't know how you feel, and you sure as hell don't know how I feel right now. You've been drinking, and you're probably just jealous I've been spending time with Sai and now Gaara, and you saw me with Rin tonight."

"I am _very_ jealous of all those people," Sasuke admitted, much to Naruto's surprise. "But I'm not playing mind games. I'm not drunk, and if you'd also stop being so stubborn, you'd realize _you're_ the one who has all the power in this situation. Over me. You always have, Naruto."

"How the _hell_ can you possibly think that's true? God, now I have to be the one who's dreaming," Naruto exclaimed in frustration and gave Sasuke a shove that sent him back a few steps. "You make it sound so easy. Great, well your situation is hopeless, so you'll say whatever you feel like!? When you had the opportunity to say it over a _month_ ago? Fuck _you_ , Sasuke."

Naruto pushed Sasuke again until he hit the side of the bed and was forced to sit.

"You know what I think?" Naruto had a finger pointed at Sasuke's face. "I think you're a spoiled brat who's tried to manipulate me throughout our entire relationship, and maybe you thought I wasn't _in_ love with you at the time, and maybe I wasn't yet, but you've _always_ done as you pleased. Even me dating girls over the summer was all about you because I thought our friendship seemed codependent. And, yeah, maybe I could be with other people physically 'cause you and I weren't romantic. We were just fucking around, weren't we? Hell, we never talked about anything like that, and months before at prom, you're the one who talked about needing space! But, at the time, at least I thought about your feelings, and I catered to you every time you threw a tantrum. I didn't do half as much as you claim I did during school. I never kissed them in front of you. I tried not to even hold hands with them if I knew you were around. So, don't act like you're some faithful lover of mine, because you _fucked_ that DJ. I've seen you kiss Yagura on stage, and I have pictures of him trying to take off your clothes, so tell me why it is I'm supposed to believe _anything_ you're sayin'? For all I know," Naruto looked him square in the eye, "You just want to fuck around with me 'cause you have no one else to get it from."

Sasuke smacked his hand away. "Fuck you, Naruto."

Naruto felt vindicated. "I hope you enjoyed the last time we were together because the next time it's gonna happen will be in your dreams. Don't worry, I'll be just fine without you."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Shut up."

Naruto searched his face before declaring, "I'm not supposed to wait, am I? Fine. I won't."

Sasuke, saying nothing, only glared.

"Why should I limit myself to girls?" He went on, unable to control all of this rage he felt toward Sasuke. "I think being with other guys wouldn't be so bad. I've already done plenty with you, so maybe there's more for me to learn from say… Kimimaro? Yahiko? Hell, even your brother—"

Sasuke, leaping forward, gripped his shirt and yanked Naruto forward onto the bed.

"What the—"

It was all he could get out before Sasuke attacked his mouth and sliding one hand underneath his shirt while cupping the back of his head with the other. Naruto knew they shouldn't be doing this, but it felt too good. It was a rush. He couldn't stop himself, or Sasuke. The feel of Sasuke's hot palm touching his stomach, the hand sliding around his side to scratch nails up his back—

"Ah," Naruto gasped when they dug into his skin.

The instant his mouth opened, Sasuke stealthily slipped his tongue in, tasting him, and moaned into the kiss. Naruto lost his mind at the sound. Sliding his hands under Sasuke's armpits, he hauled him up and shoved him toward the pile of pillows. Beneath him, Sasuke whimpered, and Naruto, reacting to it, let out a low growl. His lips found purchase at Sasuke's neck, sometimes pressing to his skin and sometimes biting or licking it while the body beneath his squirmed, silently asking him to continue, to move, to do _anything_. Naruto had all the power here; he felt it in every muscle, every cell. He gazed down at Sasuke, who lay open-mouthed and panting, hair splayed across his pillow, intense dark eyes hooded with lust and focused _solely_ on him.

He felt a sense of superiority as he looked down at him. "Would _you_ like to know how it feels to be manipulated? Would you like to know what it feels like to have someone use your body for their pleasure?"

Naruto touched his lips to Sasuke's neck, breathing hot puffs of air over his skin. He felt Sasuke's body shiver when he grazed his teeth along the pale column of his neck. Turning the teen's head the other way, Naruto slowly dragged his tongue across the boy's cheek.

"Nothing to say now?" He spoke in low tones, directly into Sasuke's ear. "Now that you're getting what you want, you don't have anything more to say to me about what you can and can't give to me? Even though being with me means I'd do anything for you, I'd do this to you every," Naruto used his hand to cup Sasuke's crotch, "Single," and squeezed him, "Day."

He had a hold of Sasuke's wrists, the other boy staring up at him with glazed eyes.

"You're… fucking with me?" Sasuke asked, his breathing coming heavy and erratic.

Naruto pulled himself up and off of Sasuke's body. "Doesn't feel so great, does it? You made me think you didn't care. By talking to me like that, by treating me like shit, by _ignoring_ me."

"I didn't have any choice," Sasuke started to argue.

"No choice, huh?" Naruto laughed in disbelief, slapping his thigh. "We were supposed to be _friends_! Before everything else happened, at the very beginning—we were _friends_ , Sasuke. Good friends who told each other almost everything. I felt safe with you… I _trusted_ you—" He held a hand over his mouth, body beginning to shake again. "You broke my fucking _heart_. More than anyone on this planet, I expected you to never hurt me this way, and—" Naruto took in a deep breath. "And now I'm gonna say what I should've said to you weeks ago."

Sasuke, looking disheveled and out of it, drew himself up on the bed.

"We're done," Naruto told him. "I get that you think you were makin' some great sacrifice to save my feelings, but in the process, you were really just lookin' out for yourself. You could've told me the truth, but it's always—" He bit his lip. "It's always been about you, right? What _you_ want?"

"Naruto—"

"No. Not this time," Naruto cut him off. "You're not gonna talk your way out of this. We're _done_. You had your chance. I don't even mean that morning. I would've understood you bein' upset 'cause of your dad, but all that time afterward, you had plenty of opportunity to explain. Do you know how much that _hurt_? How guilty I felt for _pushing_ you? How I wondered what the _fuck_ I did wrong or could've done differently because I thought confessing _hurt_ you!"

He started to back away, toward the door.

"Naruto, if you'd just—"

Naruto put a hand up. " _No_. How fucked up _is_ that, Sasuke? That you talked to me like that, treat me like… treat me worse than I've seen you treat people you actually dislike. And… I started to think… maybe I… deserved it? And why? Because I told you I _loved_ you?"

"It… it wasn't like that," Sasuke said quietly, his voice quivering. "All this time, I told you I felt the same as you did. I wanted you. I knew I loved you, even from the beginning."

"Sorry, but I don't think loving someone means makin' them feel like shit about themselves. Pretty sure it's supposed to be the opposite, and when you _do_ fuck up, you apologize. You don't turn it around on them. Don't make them feel at fault just 'cause you're a coward. Did you think tellin' me now would suddenly make all the difference, or is this just a ploy so I won't date Rin?"

"It's not a ploy," Sasuke shot back angrily, getting off the bed and coming over to him again. "Stop saying things like that. I know how I feel. I know that I—"

"Don't." Naruto, crying now, put his hands up. "Don't come near me."

"You're being unreasonable—"

"Am I?" Naruto asked. "Good, then maybe I _am_ unreasonable, but I'm not gonna let you tell me things like you… slept with the DJ because you were insecure and jealous, that you lied to me about how you felt because you had my best interest at heart. That, to _me_ , is unreasonable. Do I get it? Do I understand why you did it? I do. I really, truly do, and I apologize for pushing you. I know I fucked up when I asked Yahiko to kiss me, but I just—"

Sasuke reached for him, and Naruto smacked his hand away.

" _No_."

"So we're done then?" Sasuke asked, eyes narrowed at him as if this was all _his_ doing, as if he hadn't tried his hardest to make this work. "Even as friends. You won't forgive me?"

"Why should I?" Naruto yelled. "So that you can feel better about yourself?"

"No, because I—" Sasuke, visibly frustrated, ran a hand through his hair. "You know I'm not good at this stuff. Talking about my feelings, if you'd just—"

"So now because you don't know how to talk about your feelings, that's my fault, too? Do you think it was easy for me to confess to you?"

"Now you're just putting words in my mouth."

"I don't need to do anything with your words," Naruto said scathingly. "I can just look at your actions. I'm goin' to bed. I want you to get out in the morning, and I hope you'll stop pullin' shit like this. I mean, really? Getting drunk and passing out in a tub 'cause you thought I kissed Rin, which, by the way, I never did. We were outside talkin' about you. Rin wouldn't do that to you, and neither would I. But all you ever do, despite everything we've been through, is assume the worst. That I won't understand your situation, that I can't handle the truth: that you love me, but you don't want to date me, and that by pushin' me away, you think that solves everything!"

He was out of breath, on the verge of a panic attack. The kind he used to get after his mom died. Blood was rushing to his head. Naruto held a hand over his chest.

"Are you okay?" Sasuke reached out for him again.

Naruto flinched. "Don't touch me."

His back hit the edge of the door, and he struggled to find the doorknob.

"You're having an attack?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto opened his mouth to speak, but struggled to bring in air. He shook his head, the panic reaching its climax. He finally found the knob and turned it, escaping from the room. Naruto ran down the hall and into his dad's bedroom, nearly tripping over a pair of shoes. He yanked back the covers and slid underneath them. He pulled them all the way past his eyes until darkness enfolded him. His thoughts were racing, blood pounding so hard it made his temples throb. What was this feeling? Why was he panicking? Why couldn't he control his emotions? Was he supposed to be _pleased_ Sasuke had loved him all along? Because… he _felt_ devastated, broken-hearted, betrayed. He felt _stupid_ for having loved someone so hard, someone that could so easily hurt him. For several minutes, all he could hear was the sound of his rapid breathing. His body was too heavy to move. He'd almost forgotten Gaara was here, but refused to wake him.

Eventually this would pass, so until then he could lie here like he used to a year ago. When the attacks came after his mother died, he used to crawl into his parents' bed and wait for them to pass. It made him remember the first weekend he'd spent at Sasuke's. The Sasuke he'd fallen in love with had taken care of him that night, rubbed his head, and soothed him. How was that _possibly_ the same person? Thinking about Sasuke only made the pain grow. This wasn't right. It was like Gaara said: Someone could be important to you, and also bad for you. Was Sasuke that person? Was his life better because they'd been friends? For a while, he'd thought so. Before romantic feelings _fucked_ everything up. Now he didn't even have his best friend to go to anymore. Sure, he had Gaara, but Sasuke was… unlike anyone he'd ever met. They understood each other in ways that made Naruto realize what he felt was more than friendship. It was some dumb soulmate-level thing he'd never believed in before. But maybe people could be soulmates in _this_ life without it working out romantically in the end. That possibility terrified him, set him off all over again, and made his tears come faster. He _loved_ Sasuke, but Sasuke had broken him. Naruto hated the way he was behaving now. He hated how he'd been acting out this past month and couldn't entirely blame it on the anniversary of his mom's death. The bedroom door suddenly creaking open startled Naruto out of his thoughts.

He pulled the blanket down from over his eyes.

Walking into the room, Sasuke shut the door behind him. He came toward the bed, and just as Naruto was mustering the last of his strength to tell him to fuck off—

Sasuke, very abruptly, got down on his knees and held onto the edge of the bed. Naruto stared at him, wondering what he was up to when, before his very eyes, Sasuke was down on all fours with his head lowered to the floor. It was a position Naruto'd only seen in an old Kurosawa film he'd once watched with Itachi. Bowing his head, he prostrated himself before Naruto. It was so startling and surreal, Naruto didn't know what to say except:

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry," said Sasuke. "Everything you just said was entirely right."

Though it caused a sharp pain in his chest, Naruto lifted himself up. "Why are you doin' this all of a sudden? Why have you changed your mind? I don't understand."

Sasuke kept his head bowed. "I… became scared and angry that morning. I was angry Itachi and Yahiko disregarded my feelings. I got scared because my father was sick, and I… blamed you, too. I thought if my father was going to die from stress, the last thing he needed to hear was that his gay son had been fucking around with his best friend right under his nose this whole time. But, as time went on, I… knew I didn't deserve you, and yes I thought I knew what was best for you. I thought… if I pushed you away, it'd make it easier that we couldn't date."

Naruto, holding onto his chest, looked down at him. He'd never, in all of his time of knowing him, seen Sasuke beg for anything. This… it had to be a dream. This would never happen. Not in a million years. It was the only possible explanation. But, when he gave his arm a pinch, he was still here in his dad's bed, and Sasuke was still on hands and knees on the floor.

"What… what is it you want then?" He asked.

"I want..." Sasuke kept his head low to the floor. "I want you to understand."

"Understand?"

"And…"

Sasuke lifted his head and looked up at him. The moonlight coming through the blinds caught the tears on his cheeks and made them look silver.

"I want you to forgive me," Sasuke told him. " _Please_. I know I hurt you, Naruto. ...I know you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore, and I understand that, but I… please accept that I felt the same. Please at least accept that, even if you hate me now."

"I don't hate you," Naruto said. "You just… hurt me, Sasuke. You _hurt_ me."

"I know I did." Sasuke slid onto his knees. "I know I did."

"I couldn't be with someone who treats me like shit."

"I know you can't. You shouldn't. It's why I pushed you away."

"But you took that choice away from me. You were selfish."

"I… can't argue with that," Sasuke mumbled. "I've been selfish. I know Rin likes you. I know she could make you happy, but I couldn't—" He stopped, looking so pained as he stared at Naruto. "I couldn't get myself to let you go, even knowing it was best for you."

"So you got drunk and embarrassed all of us and yourself by passin' out in the bathtub?"

"It's not as if it was a well thought out plan."

"I don't…" Naruto rubbed his face, feeling itchy. "I don't know what to say. Where do we—"

"Start by forgiving me." Sasuke pressed his forehead on the edge of the bed. "Please," he pleaded. "I didn't mean for it to come to this. I thought… I thought you'd come to me the next day, and it would work out like all the other times we fought."

"So, even though you're the one who treated me like shit, you expected me to come to you and smooth it out?" Naruto felt his anger and bitterness growing again.

"Yes."

"Wow." Naruto made a choking sound that was meant to be a laugh. "At least you admit it."

"Because it's the truth."

He nodded. "Yeah, well. Too little, too late."

"I know this. I didn't… I didn't realize how much I hurt you. I refused to see it, though it was in front of my eyes. The way you acted out… I just… I didn't know how to fix it."

"You're a human, aren't you?" Naruto spat. "You apologize, you talk to me. You just—fix it!"

"That might be easy for you," Sasuke said. "But for some of us, it's difficult, Naruto."

"And that's _my_ fault?"

"No, I didn't _say_ it was your fault." Sasuke sighed in frustration. "I'm only trying to explain."

"Great, well. You did, and you apologized, which you should've done a month ago, but yeah. So we can both move on, I'll accept your apology. You're forgiven."

"I'm being sincere here," Sasuke replied. "At least hear me out."

"I see. It's important you be understood, huh? When you never tried to understand me." His anger gave him the energy he needed to sit up and throw his legs over the side of the bed. "It's always about what _you_ want, isn't it? You're so impulsive. Everyone says _I'm_ the impulsive one, but you dismiss people so easily if it suits you, or bring them into your circle if it suits you."

"That's not fair." Sasuke got to his feet. "I love you. Maybe I didn't handle it the best, but what the hell did you want me to do in my situation? Confess back? Ignore my father's health? You're the one who told me you don't believe in fairytale endings. That high school love was ridiculous—"

"Now you're back to turnin' this around on me?" Naruto shouted angrily. "Take some fuckin' responsibility for once in your life instead of always blaming everyone else! Your dad, your brother, me, Yahiko, such and such dude who said your hair looked weird in second grade. You fucked up. Fine, if you don't wanna date, that's cool. It's all you had to say, but you didn't have to lie about your feelings and make me believe—" Naruto clutched his chest. "That you didn't love me. That I wasn't important to you anymore. That I was… I was trash to you."

"You're not trash," said Sasuke. "You were never trash to me. You were something precious, and yes, I took you for granted, but never in my life have I felt this way, and I don't expect anyone in my life to ever understand me the way you do, or make me feel so—"

His heart was racing again as Sasuke paused, took in a deep breath, and looked straight into his eyes.

"So alive," Sasuke finished. "Never made me feel like I have such purpose."

Naruto's mouth fell open and, seconds later, Sasuke was cupping his face with both hands. He stared intently and, rushing forward, kissed Naruto so hard he felt his _soul_ shudder. Sasuke fell on top of him, holding him fast to his body and kissing his lips, biting them, prying them open with his tongue. So lost in his own passion and yearning, Naruto clung to him, wrapped his legs around his waist, and kissed him like it had been lifetimes since they'd seen each other. The sadness in his heart didn't go away, but a need inside him continued to burn.

They were quick to remove their clothes, bodies coming together again, limbs tangled. While they moved together, pressed so tight, Naruto felt elation. It was something on a spiritual level. He knew he was crying, and he knew Sasuke was, too. He wept into Naruto's neck at the same time as their lower halves rubbed together, a quick finish looming. As fulfilling as it was, it was equally empty and foreboding to him, and in the back of his mind, he knew this was the last time, which is why he tried to ride it out as long as possible. Sasuke's hands moved over his body possessively, and the kisses he pressed to Naruto's skin were searing. There was a moment he felt his heart might burst, but that would be okay. When Sasuke slid down and took him into his mouth, it wasn't long before Naruto came, shuddering and shaking. He could barely feel anything at all anymore as Sasuke rubbed off against his thigh, buried his face in Naruto's neck, and cried into softly next to his ear. He asked for Naruto's forgiveness over and over until he had no choice but to wrap his arms around the other boy. His first love. Sasuke Uchiha.

For some reason, the timing had been off, and it was so sad and strange to him that two people could love each other, could understand each other, but because of certain circumstances… couldn't be together. Naruto thought he was the type of person who would fight for love and for the person he loved, but he couldn't force Sasuke to be with him, and Sasuke couldn't ask him to be something he wasn't. Couldn't ask him to do this in secret, and though Naruto would have waited, he also knew that it would only cause a bitterness and resentment to grow between them. Naruto knew he loved Sasuke enough that, if asked, he would try to let him go. After all, loving someone didn't mean pressuring them to do something they weren't ready to do. If loving Sasuke and being with him would only cause them both pain, what was the point?

That, in his opinion, wasn't love.

"I'm so sorry," Sasuke said again, clinging and shaking against Naruto's body. "S-sorry."

Naruto, unable to hold back his tears either, squeezed and held him tighter. It broke his heart to hear Sasuke cry, to know how truly sorry he felt. Not just for the things he'd said or for the way he'd treated Naruto, but because… they both felt so much, and nothing could come of it. It was a loss. A blow. A devastating hole erupting in his gut and consuming everything around him. It wasn't likely that, after this, things could ever go back to the way they'd been. But, until morning, he would do all he could so that they both might get some closure. However painful this journey had been up until now—or as _happy_ as he'd been—this relationship was one he'd remember forever. He knew Sasuke was someone who'd touched him deeply, opened his eyes to seeing things from other perspectives, and had taught him… that love didn't have to be anything like a fairytale. It could be as cruel and cold as it was warm and uplifting.

Naruto threaded his fingers through Sasuke's hair, lips pressed to the side of his head. "I love you, Sasuke. You'll always be important to me. Maybe more than you'll ever know."

Sasuke remained quiet, but his breathing indicated he was still awake. Naruto, himself, felt like his brain was going a mile a minute, and, yet, he also felt content.

After several minutes, Sasuke replied. "Don't say it like that. No one knows the future."

"Are you suggesting I wait?" Naruto asked gently, rubbing Sasuke's head.

"No. Please don't. If you do," Lifting up, Sasuke looked at him. "I'll throw myself off a cliff."

"So dramatic. We don't even have any cliffs nearby. Uh, besides the mountains or whatever."

"Shut up, idiot." Sasuke, for the first time in over a month (at least as far as Naruto knew), smiled. But, then his expression turned sober, and he reached for a piece of Naruto's hair. With an expression so tender, he tucked it behind Naruto's ear and smiled wider.

"What was that for?" Naruto asked, the familiarity of the gesture making him sad again.

"It just felt like something I should do." He tilted his head. "Why are you crying?"

Naruto rubbed at his cheek. "I'm not crying."

"You are." Sasuke peered closer. "Don't cry. I don't want to make you cry anymore."

Naruto let out a sad laugh, wiping at his left eye. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

Sasuke didn't try to argue, only looked at him and nodded.

"Thank you," he said to Naruto.

"For what?"

"Just… for loving me. Thank you."

Unable to take it anymore, Naruto covered his face in both hands and let out a long sob. He cried so long and so hard that he hardly noticed when Sasuke rolled him over and held him, rocking him and humming in his ear. It was a beautiful sound to him. One he wanted to go on forever, so soothing and gentle, such a juxtaposition to the utter and complete grief and chaos he was currently feeling. It was a loss he hadn't experienced since his mom died. Sasuke was here, with him still, and yet it felt like he'd lost something so important and meaningful.

He felt like he'd failed somehow. To keep some kind of promise. To himself mostly. That he would fight to the death for the things, for the people he loved the most.

But this wasn't something he could fight against, and it was hard to accept.

"Don't cry, idiot," Sasuke said into his ear. "You're so ugly when you cry."

"Shut up, Sasuke. I'm cryin' because of _your_ dumb ass. I'm _grieving_."

"I know."

And Naruto cried some more. Until there was nothing left to cry. But Sasuke never stopped holding him or humming, and, for that, Naruto would always be tremendously… grateful.

* * *

If Sasuke could express how he felt in this moment—in the early morning hours, with Naruto's arm slung about his waist and head on his shoulder—it would not be joy, but a devastating emptiness. In his mind, he saw this as the end, and yet all of the moments with Naruto he'd held precious over the past 10 months were running through his mind like a memoriam. His brain kept telling him: This is the last time. _The last time you'll hold him like this_. The last time he's in your arms and not the arms of another. How did they get here exactly?

Sasuke's choice, _his_ doing.

It would be impossible to say he'd accepted it. In fact, he was _far_ from accepting it, but that was something future him would have to deal with. This morning, as Naruto lay sleeping, he could hold the boy he loved in his arms. He'd been able to confess last night. Too little, too late, but he'd done it. If only he'd done it a month ago and also had the courage—like Naruto did—to jump full-throttle into a relationship. Naruto's impulsiveness, however charming, meant that he either didn't care about or just never bothered to consider potential problems that may arise from a relationship between two of them. Whereas Sasuke could only think about how he'd disappoint and hurt Naruto at some point down the road. _Again_.

As long as he remained this insecure, as long as he couldn't come out to his father, then he couldn't be a good partner for Naruto. Maybe it was silly to be thinking about long-term anyway, but… the one thing he was certain of was that he didn't want to hurt Naruto anymore, nor did he want to keep him from finding happiness. If that meant, months from now, Naruto would date Rin, or whomever, then he would have to accept that when the time came. He could do that, and, this time, he wouldn't hold on to any of the bitterness. Sasuke's gaze ventured toward the window, the early morning light creeping in like an unwanted guest.

He felt anxious about tomorrow _and_ the next day. After Naruto had fallen asleep, he had lay awake for at least another hour, just thinking about their situation. He'd tried to find a way around it, but it appeared that giving Naruto up was the only choice he had left. Naruto's words from last night kept playing over and over like a broken record. He'd caused him so much pain up until now, and Naruto was right. It didn't make much sense to say he loved him and, in the same breath, could unleash a volley of cruel words that only served to push him away. He felt shame and guilt, but he allowed himself to feel the loss, too.

Glancing at the digital clock on Minato's nightstand (poor man probably had no idea what his bed was used for this morning), he saw that it was 8:30. Did Naruto still want him to go? He didn't presume that after what just happened it meant he should stay. Thinking it might be better if he left without saying goodbye, Sasuke attempted to detangle himself from Naruto's arms. The blond, usually a deep sleeper, groaned and clung tighter.

"You're hopeless," he mumbled and, looking down, fingered Naruto's bangs to the side.

It was cheesy to admit how simply gazing at Naruto's face made his heart swell. Too bad he wasn't as much of a songwriter as he was a musician. But there were already enough love songs out there, or, in this case, songs about being broken hearted. For a second time, he attempted to move Naruto off of him so that he could get dressed and go. This time, however, Naruto awoke and blinked up at him in what appeared to him to be perfect clarity.

"You're going?" He asked.

Sasuke nodded.

"Stay," said Naruto. "Not a long time. Just a little while."

"Do you…" He pressed his lips together. "Think that's a good idea?"

"No." Naruto shifted, sitting up in bed, the sheets pooling low in his lap. "But, I don't care. I just… a little longer. I won't force you, though."

"I can," he replied. "If you want."

"I've gotta take a piss, though."

Naruto crawled over him with absolutely zero finesse and, once out of the cover of the sheets, flashed Sasuke his bare ass and back of his balls while he bent over and snatched up his pajama pants. He tossed Sasuke his, too.

"Want anything from the kitchen?" Naruto asked, turning to face him once he was dressed.

"I'm fine," he said. "No, wait. A water would be good. Throat is scratchy."

"Well, we wouldn't want that voice of yours to get damaged." Naruto smiled, but Sasuke knew it was pained and forced, and he hated it.

"Naruto?"

Naruto was almost to the bedroom door when he stopped. "Yeah?"

Why was it on the tip of his tongue? Those three words. What would be the point in saying them? Now, of all times. It would only hurt Naruto more, or… did he _want_ to hear it?

"Spit it out," said Naruto. "You look constipated."

Sasuke scowled. "Nevermind, idiot. You ruined the moment."

Naruto shrugged. "Whatever, asshole."

He left, and, just like that, they were acting as if nothing happened.

Still, Sasuke wanted to get dressed, so while Naruto was in the bathroom, he put on his clothes and went to retrieve his guitar from Minato's closet. He left it on the foot of the bed. While he sat there, he wondered if Yagura and Sai had spent the night together. As morbid as it was, he hoped so. If only so he could hold this over the singer's head until the end of time. Rin, too. He needed to apologize to her for embarrassing himself at her party. It was so beneath him, so utterly unprofessional to pull that kind of behavior. It wasn't like him, and he intended to bury it in his subconscious and pretend it never happened. Denial had always been a specialty of his.

Ten minutes later, Naruto returned and, in place of water, he'd brought Sasuke a cup of tea.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, and Naruto nodded.

The blond crawled back onto the bed and sat cross-legged, watching him.

"Do you… want to talk about what happens from now on?" He asked.

"I think we both know, don't we?" Sasuke held the mug in his hands, smelling the chamomile.

"I guess." Naruto started picking at one of his fingernails, but Sasuke reached over and swatted him. "Sorry. Habit." The teen glanced at the guitar, then at Sasuke again. "You sounded really good last night. I cried again, and I had to go outside afterward."

"Oh?" Funny, because all he'd done afterward was get drunk.

"Yagura came after me." Naruto pulled a face. "But... he said good things. I don't like him, but in his own twisted way, he's clearly been tryin' to help the both of us. Same with Gaara."

"You two," Sasuke tried to quell his irrational jealousy regarding this truth, "Seem close."

"We are," said Naruto. "It's 'cause he's seen me when I was at my worst. I guess you always bond with those people, don't you?"

"Yes. You do." And the pointed way Sasuke said it, Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Mah, Sasuke. If last night is the worst you have to offer, all I have to say is… welcome to bein' a teenager. _Finally_. I was startin' to wonder if you were secretly an old man."

"I wonder what that says about you then," Sasuke replied, trying not to take offense. "I'm not an _old man_ just because I think some things are foolish no matter what age you are."

"Yep, you definitely sound like an old man. You know, I had a dream about you in Chicago… and you were older. Not, like, old old, but you were… dunno. Mid-twenties?"

"Funny… I had a dream about an older you, too. We met in a bar. It was… disturbingly real."

Naruto suddenly seemed more interested. "Was it a, y'know, sex dream?"

"What?" Sasuke nearly spat out his tea. "No."

When Naruto's face turned red, he became vaguely curious.

"Yours was? You had _sex_ with another me?" He asked.

Wait, why was he jealous of some dream version of himself. He shook his head. That's what lack of sleep could do to a person.

"I didn't… say that," Naruto answered meekly.

"You don't have to." Sasuke stared him down. "Cheater."

Naruto scoffed. "We're not together."

"Yes… thanks for reminding me."

He looked down into his tea for a minute, spinning the mug in his hands.

"I will say this"—Sasuke glanced up when Naruto spoke—"Dream you was… amazing, Sasuke, and I did wonder… it's dumb 'cause it's only a dream, but I have a feelin' you could be him in seven or eight years."

"You sound like you have a crush on him," Sasuke responded. "I think I'm jealous."

"Actually, this dream you already had a dream me and kept insisting that… he wasn't dream him-you, but I was the dream!Naruto, and it was really weird 'cause he said that him and his Naruto met when they were older, not in high school, but I knew stuff that he knew and he was weirded out 'cause me!Naruto knew stuff his Naruto didn't know—"

Sasuke reached over and covered his mouth. "Let dream them live their own lives."

Naruto's eyes widened and, underneath Sasuke's palm, a smile began to grow. Sasuke removed his hand and returned the smile with his own small one.

"Wouldn't it be cool, though?" Naruto asked. "If there really were alternative universes out there where you and I have met."

"I think you've told me something similar before."

"I have? Oh. Hm. Well, I still believe it. I… envy them in a way."

"Do you?" He asked, itching at a spot on his knee.

Naruto merely looked at him, and Sasuke knew his every thought. It hurt too deeply, so much so that he couldn't respond. Instead, he absently tugged at the strap of his guitar case.

"I'm thinkin' about… that first weekend I spent with you at your house. And you played for me, that Radical Face song. I thought you were so cool. I already had feelings for you, but when you played and sang, I guess I felt like all of your fangirls and boys do. It seems stupid now, but—"

"I could play for you," Sasuke said, embarrassed by how quickly it came from his lips.

"Heh." Naruto flushed and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah? I'd like that."

Sasuke, his heart racing for reasons he couldn't discern, slowly unzipped the case and brought out the guitar. "I… don't suppose you need lessons, do you?"

"No," said Naruto. "Just wanna hear you play. That's good enough for me. You'll sing?"

"I'll sing."

Naruto, falling back on the bed, appeared to have some sort of fit. Ignoring him, Sasuke went about setting everything up and making sure the guitar was in tune. He sat on the edge of the bed; Naruto sat against the headboard, watching him. More so than when performing on stage with Rin or even singing last night, Sasuke felt tremendously nervous. Before he began to play, he had to wipe his hands across his jeans, his palms were so sweaty.

"I see you walking through the rain," he sang, glancing down at his fingers on the strings, noticing their stiffness. "And I see the water covering your teardrops on your face. And I know that I broke _all_ your rules. Oh, now you're looking at me, and I'm lookin' at you like a fool."

He looked over at Naruto, who had his bottom lip pressed between his teeth.

"But, you don't know what it feels like to fall in love with you. No, you don't know what it's like when you can't go back. 'Cause I only lose my mind when I ain't got you. And how can I win when I'm always bound to lose? No, when I ain't got you. No, no, no, I ain't got you, no."

Sasuke returned to watching his fingers, then peeked out the window, where the snow was falling against the glass pane. "So come on inside, you'll catch a cold. Oh, darling the storm will pass when you grow old. But you stand next to me with a look in your eyes. And you say goodbye, you say goodbye. And you say good _bye_."

"But, you don't know what it's like to _lose_ you." He, raising his eyes slowly, glanced at Naruto again, playing very softly. "'Cause I only lose my mind when I ain't got you. And how can I win when I'm always bound to lose? When I'm always bound to… 'Cause _I_ tried to hold on tight to make you mine, but I lost each time. And I only lose my mind when I ain't got you."

He took in a deep breath before singing in a hoarse voice, his heart pounding in his chest. "But I think it's time to let you go. To let your heart find a home. I need to let you go."

The tears began falling down his cheeks before he could stop himself.

"'Cause I only lose my mind when I ain't got you. And how I can win when I'm always bound to lose? No, I ain't got you. No, no, no, I ain't got you, oh."

When he finished, he was still holding onto the guitar like a lifeline, embarrassed further when Naruto moved across the bed to sit beside him and wiped the tears away with a thumb and forefinger. Carefully, he took the guitar from Sasuke and set it to the side before taking him into his arms. Sasuke, wondering if this was an out of body experience, thought he was watching them from above: Naruto holding him as Sasuke wept into his shoulder. He felt so conscious of the fact he'd made this choice to let Naruto go, to end their relationship before it could ever begin. The weight of it crushed him, made him feel tremendously guilty, and shattered his heart. Despite the hurt he'd put Naruto through, the fact he'd broken Naruto's trust and taken his love and feelings for granted, Naruto Uzumaki continued to hold him. He whispered tender words into his ear, kissed his cheek, and wiped away his tears.

He… didn't deserve this.

So, Sasuke cried, and, in his heart, he hoped as Naruto did that there were alternative universes out there in which they _could_ be together. If it were possible for something to happen between them in the future, he didn't have high hopes, yet he clung to this silly notion nonetheless. Out there somewhere, there were the two of them and they _were_ together… and happy. There really was a version of him that _could_ make Naruto happy, hopefully without ever hurting him. What did it take to get there? He had no idea, but if he knew anything at all it was that, as he was now, he stood in the way of Naruto's happiness, even if saying goodbye hurt Naruto, as well.

When the time came, he gently pushed Naruto away.

"I'm okay," he said, wiping at his eyes. "I should get going, Naruto. I'll… call you this week."

"Going back to friends…" Naruto also had tears in his eyes. "Is just fine with me."

"You don't look fine."

"Well, I'll _be_ fine," Naruto replied stubbornly. "I'm tough."

"I know you are." Sasuke attempted a smile.

"I… want to make a joke or somethin', but…" Naruto wiped another tear away. "I don't think I have it in me."

"You can't always make jokes at times like these. Sometimes you just have to feel it."

"Sounds deep," Naruto said, the slightest twinge of bitterness in his tone. "Should write a song about it."

"I'll… consider it." Sasuke stood up from the bed and grabbed his guitar. "You should go back to sleep. I'll catch the bus and text you when I'm home."

"Okay." Naruto nodded, back to biting his lip.

"Okay then."

"Okay."

"Bye, Naruto."

"Bye, Sasuke."

Sasuke, his heart heavy, had his hand on the knob, ready to turn it when he was abruptly spun around and pinned to the door. Naruto's lips were on his so fast there wasn't time to breathe or even gasp. He clung to Naruto's naked sides, kissing him deeply as his fingers wound through the blond's hair. Naruto made a low noise in his throat as they kissed for several minutes.

Afterward, Naruto's look was intense as he wiped his mouth, staring at him.

"You suck, you know that?"

Sasuke couldn't help but agree. "I know."

"Good. Well as long as you know."

One last time, Sasuke pulled him into a hug and held him, closing his eyes when Naruto's body began to shake in his arms. It was hard to let him go, but he had no choice.

"I need to let you go," Sasuke said in his ear.

Naruto nodded, still shaking in his arms, but then he straightened up and appeared to pull himself together.

"So let me go," he said to Sasuke. "You're sure?"

He bit his lip, his voice cracking as he answered. "No."

Naruto pressed a hand to his cheek. "It's alright."

No, it absolutely wasn't alright. "It's not."

"Maybe it's my chance to go after your brother."

"Ah, there you go. There's the joke finally," Sasuke muttered, trying to turn away, but Naruto took hold of his chin and forced him to look.

"Who said it was a joke?"

Sasuke (gently) slapped his hand away. "You never cease to amaze me."

"Sorry." Naruto drew away from him, scratching his upper arm. "I… don't know how else to deal with this, and I don't think I could cry more if I tried? Though I think I will after you go."

"Understandable."

They stared at one another, the light from the window setting the outline of Naruto's shoulders in a hazy glow. He glanced out the window and saw that the snow was falling hard.

Naruto also turned to look. "You should go before it really starts fallin'."

"That eager to get rid of me?"

Naruto glanced back at him. He appeared as if he wanted to say something, but he must've decided otherwise, and Sasuke couldn't help but feel disappointed. If Naruto had asked him to stay, he might have. But he knew Naruto also understood the gravity of the choice Sasuke was making regarding their relationship… and that Naruto had accepted it. Not necessarily because Naruto agreed with him, but because he would never force someone to do something they didn't want to. He was far stronger than Sasuke, but Sasuke always known that. Even when he didn't want to accept it. He'd admired Naruto from the first day they met in March. He admired him to this day. Sasuke knew what he was losing in giving up Naruto, and… he was still doing it.

He hated himself for it, too. _I'm doing you a favor_.

But, he wouldn't voice those words because they were unfair to Naruto.

"Thank you," he said. _For loving me_.

"No problem." Naruto smiled. "You're welcome here any time."

 _Idiot_.

Sasuke smirked and, reaching out, ruffled Naruto's hair.

"You're lucky you're nice to look at," he told him.

"Tch." Naruto smacked his hand away. "Your loss."

His arm fell to his side, and he frowned. "I know, believe me."

"Sorry, i didn't mean—"

"No, it's okay. You're right, and I know exactly what you meant."

"Yeah, well. I'll… walk you to the door."

"You don't have to, I don't want to wake Gaara."

But Naruto pushed him out the door. "He'll pretend he's asleep if we do, but he's generally a heavier sleeper than me. Unless he's sleeping in my bed. He says I kick and roll everywhere."

"Funny," said Sasuke. "You always say that and never do it with me."

For a moment, he was surprised when Naruto grabbed for his hand and led him down the hall, through the living room, and then to the door. Sasuke didn't let let go, even while he put on his boots and coat. Naruto watched silently, waiting until Sasuke stood up again.

"This feels like that first weekend," he whispered. "I didn't want to leave then either."

"But you are," Naruto replied.

"I am."

"Because it's for the best." Naruto squeezed his hand, daring him to say anything.

Clearly, Naruto thought otherwise, but he wasn't going to argue with Sasuke further.

Sasuke, leaning in, cupped the back of Naruto's head and kissed him.

It was exactly how he'd expect a last kiss to feel, and before he really broke down, he opened the door to make his escape. Naruto let go of his hand and held open the door for him.

"Text when you make it home," Naruto said quietly. "Be careful."

"I will."

He had his back to Naruto as he stood in the doorway.

"I'm sorry." Sasuke bit his lip as he turned to look at him one last time. "I love you." He took hold of the doorknob, ready to shut the door behind him as he left. "Goodbye, Naruto."

* * *

After Sasuke left, the only thing Naruto felt was numb. For nearly 15 minutes, he'd gone back and forth around the kitchen, opening every cabinet and drawer as if looking for something. There was an emptiness inside his chest. So painful and hard to describe because it was unlike anything he'd felt before. All he could think about was how Sasuke had been by his side for so long, as a best friend and then something so much more. Now everything was different. Over the past month, and despite how much it hurt to have Sasuke treat him so terribly, he'd held on to some hope. Either that things would still work out between them as friends, or maybe he could change Sasuke's mind, or even… that Sasuke felt the same as him.

In the end, Sasuke _had_ felt the same, but Naruto wasn't sure if that was more or _less_ heartbreaking than when he'd thought Sasuke didn't feel the same or didn't want to be his friend anymore. It was a strange, raw feeling, and so similar to the grief he'd felt after losing his mom. Sasuke was still alive, but it really did feel like a piece of him had died today. For a while (he didn't know how long), he remained in the dark, leaning against the counter. A small part of him still wanted to run after Sasuke. Because he felt like he'd failed. If only, he kept saying to himself. If only he'd tried harder, but, in his heart, he knew he'd done all he could.

Sasuke was right. It hurt, but Naruto couldn't argue that if they were to be together—as they both were right now—their relationship would inevitably crumble. He didn't want that.

He didn't want to burden Sasuke either, by waiting on him to come out. It wasn't fair. To either of them, even if Naruto wanted to insist that he'd wait as long as Sasuke needed.

What would happen now, though? Could they be friends after this? They certainly couldn't go back to what they were. It would have to be strictly friendship or nothing at all, and he… _did_ want to be friends with Sasuke. Sasuke was important to him, and he wanted the other boy to remain a part of his life if possible. If Sasuke was okay with it anyway.

Suddenly, the kitchen light flipped on; Gaara stood in the doorway.

"He's gone?"

Naruto nodded. He bit his lip, averting his eyes. "Did I wake you? Sorry."

"It did sound as if you were slamming every cabinet and drawer in here for the past half hour." Hands in the pocket of his pajama pants, Gaara entered the kitchen and leaned against the kitchen island. "Did you get a chance to talk last night?"

"Yes," he managed to get out, playing with the handle of the silverware drawer.

"It didn't go well?"

"Could we not—" Naruto took in a deep breath. "It… he felt the same. But—"

"He can't commit to a relationship," Gaara finished.

"No."

There was a silence between them, to the point Naruto grew incredibly uncomfortable. It was taking all of his willpower to fight back tears.

He rubbed at his eyes. "Do you want breakfast or somethin'? I can make us pancakes… or waffles?"

"Maybe we should go out for breakfast?" Gaara suggested.

"On New Year's Day? Might be busy everywhere." Naruto glanced down at his bare feet on the wood floor, itching the top of his right foot with the toe of his left. "We could try."

"I don't mind," said Gaara. "I think it would be good to go out."

"I'm not gonna go kill myself or anything." Naruto, looking up at him, scowled. "I'm a man. It's… y'know. Just… my _heart_ shattering into a million pieces for a second time. I'll be fine."

Gaara walked toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm proud of you."

He scoffed. "For what? Not bein' enough, or doin' enough to make Sasuke want to be with me?"

Gaara smirked. "Don't be so dramatic. He wants to be with you. I'm sure he told you so."

"Yeah, well, what does that say that he _does_ feel the same, but can't get his shit together?" Naruto asked bitterly, hands tightening into fists at his sides.

"That he did you a really big favor." Gaara squeezed his shoulder. "He's given you permission to move on. He wants you to be happy, Naruto. It takes a lot to let go of someone you love."

"I know that in my head. But it feels like… somethin' has physically been yanked out of me. I don't… I don't _feel_ like myself anymore. When will that feeling go away?"

Gaara let his arm fall to his side and put space between them. "Give it time. Who knows, maybe in a few years it'll work out for the both of you. Or maybe it never will. I don't know."

"I guess. Are you sure I shouldn't… wait for Sasuke to come out to his parents? Then again," he said. "Sasuke might be 40 by then."

"Then I think you know what you have to do," said Gaara.

Naruto placed his hand over his heart, gripping his shirt. "It's like askin' me to cut my own arm off."

Gaara crossed his arms to his chest. "Well, wouldn't you do that for Sasuke if it meant, for now, he could be happy, too?"

"Now who's the dramatic one?" Naruto asked, a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Just seems like the kind of thing you'd do for a friend."

"Heh." He managed a grin. "What are you tryin' to say? I'm a pretty good friend?"

"Yes, but just to make it clear, I don't want to date you either."

Naruto smacked him upside the head. "Asshole. Too soon."

Gaara offered a small smile. "Should we go out? I'll get dressed."

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. You're right. If I stay in, I'll just wanna mope around. Plus, you're goin' home soon, and there's a few more things I'd like to show ya. You could always move here."

"It's a little too wet for me," Gaara replied. "I prefer somewhere with less rain."

"Tch. Then move to a desert!" Naruto smirked. "Might work out well for you since deserts are pretty isolated, and you hate people. Sure hard to get the sand out of your asscrack, though."

"Not _all_ people," Gaara replied. "I like you, after all. Despite how much trouble you cause."

Naruto's cheeks flushed. "You've gotten soft in your old age, Gaara. You really are like a ginger-haired Yoda. I'm glad you came to visit. I really appreciate how much you put up with me. When we were in the same town, and even now. It means a lot."

Gaara stared at him. "...You're more emotional than I remember. Is this Sasuke's doing?"

"It's possible," he said, wondering himself. "Maybe this is what it's like once you fall in love for the first time? Whatever I felt for your sister," Naruto grinned, "Just doesn't compare to this."

"I'm sure she'll be pleased to know she lost out to a teenage boy."

"Heh. Asshole."

Laughing, Naruto chased after him for a while until he decided he ought to get dressed if they wanted to make it to breakfast in time. He went into his bedroom and quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a hoodie. While he was attempting to make his bed, he noticed his phone flashing on the desk. There was a message from Rin, but there was also a text from Sasuke.

It occurred to him that it had been a long time since he'd seen that name pop up in his text notifications. He read the message from Sasuke.

 _I'm home_.

Naruto sat down on the edge of his bed, uncertain what to say in reply.

 _Welcome home,_ he typed.

It's not as if he expected an immediate reply, so he was about to get up when his phone buzzed again.

 _When does Gaara leave?_

He did wonder why Sasuke was asking, but answered _: Tomorrow._

 _Are you free Wednesday?_

 _I guess. Why?_

There was a small pause before Sasuke replied:

 _I was wondering if you'd like to get a coffee._

Naruto let out a quiet laugh. God Sasuke had such balls, but… Naruto liked that about him.

 _Yeah_ , he typed. _Coffee sounds good. Starbuck's near my apartment?_

 _Really? Starbuck's? Out of all the coffee places in Seattle?_

 _Hey, we went there that first weekend, and you didn't complain. It's where it all started!_

 _It's not,_ typed Sasuke _. But it's fine. I'll see you on Wednesday. Enjoy your time with Gaara._

 _Alright._ Naruto sent the text and stared at the screen before adding, _Thanks._

A few minutes ticked by while Naruto put on his socks and boots. He kicked around a pile of dirty clothes on the floor before finally putting them away in the hamper.

When he grabbed for his phone, he noticed another message.

 _We can still be friends?_

Naruto couldn't even imagine what it took for Sasuke to text something like that. Almost instantly, his eyes turned into a couple of fucking faucets.

 _Bastard_ , he typed despite the way his fingers shook. _Of course we can be friends!_

When no other messages followed, Naruto tucked the phone into his back pocket and went to brush his teeth. After he grabbed his coat from the hall closet, he found Gaara sitting on the couch, watching the news, just like Sasuke would usually do when spending the night.

"I'm ready," Naruto declared, feeling his phone go off in his pocket.

Gaara stood up and turned off the TV while Naruto read the latest text from Sasuke.

"What?" Gaara asked. "Good news?"

He shook his head. "Nah, just… nothin'. Nevermind."

Gaara raised an eyebrow. "Now I'm curious."

"It's just Sasuke bein' a butthole."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Wanted me to know he told his brother I'm up for grabs now."

Gaara stared at him. "You two… have a lot of issues, don't you?"

Naruto nodded. "It seems like it, yeah." He threw an arm around his friend. "But, doesn't that keep life interesting and exciting?"

"If you say so," Gaara replied, looking over at him. "You seem… in a better mood."

"I guess. I don't feel like all my hope was takin' away. At least I know he still wants to be friends."

"You haven't changed your mind about moving on, have you?" Gaara asked as they walked to the door, Naruto opening it for them and making sure to lock it behind.

"Nah. I mean. My feelings haven't changed, it's just that havin' Sasuke as a friend is equally important to me. I won't lose him. Not now. Not ever."

Gaara stared at him so long Naruto became self-conscious.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing," Gaara replied, walking past him into the hall.

Naruto followed, and they waited for the elevator to reach his floor.

"What are you going to do about Rin?" Gaara asked. "She clearly likes you."

Naruto hummed. "Nothin'... nothin' for right now. It's Sasuke that I—"

The elevator's arrival interrupted him. The doors slid apart, and they walked inside.

"Do you ever think about what we'll be like when we're older?" Naruto asked, leaning against one of the rails as Gaara stood beside him.

"I can't imagine you being much different," Gaara replied. "But if you were, I'd be disappointed."

"Oh man," he said. "That's a lot of pressure, jeez."

"Are you thinking about if it's possible in the future? You and Sasuke?"

Naruto shrugged. "Guess it depends on whether you believe in dreams or not."

"Dreams?" Gaara gave him a sidelong glance.

"Dreams, signs." He crossed his arms. "Guess I won't know 'til I get there."

"You could be waiting a long time. Don't push yourself too hard."

"If I didn't push myself, I wouldn't be me."

Gaara snorted. "There's no one more stubborn than you… except maybe Sasuke."

"Heh. He is pretty stubborn, but look. He did finally come around, didn't he? Maybe he'll come around in the future, too. Even if he doesn't, I'm glad I met Sasuke. I'm glad we're friends, even after goin' through all this stuff. I won't ever meet anyone like him, and I know in the future, he'll be really successful, and one day, he'll come out and be exactly who he's supposed to be."

"We are only 17," Gaara said. "It can't be like this forever."

"No, it can't," Naruto agreed. "But, who knows. I can't deny that… there's a part of me that knows it's possible our paths might take very different turns. I can't try to control it, though."

"No, you can't."

The elevator dinged when they reached the lobby, and they could already see that outside, everything was blanketed in fresh snow. Naruto held open the door for Gaara as they stepped outside into a literal winter wonderland. Underneath their boots, the snow crunched while they headed down the sidewalk together. Lots of people were out and, more than likely, they'd be waiting ages to get a table anywhere. But if he'd learned anything from this past month, it was that he wanted to enjoy all the small moments. With friends, or his dad. After losing his mom, he understood how important it was to cherish the bonds he'd made with people. Because no one ever knew when those bonds would be cut short. And Naruto didn't want to take that precious time for granted. He didn't want to waste it on teenage drama even though it was inevitable so long as he was in high school. Still. There was a lot yet to look forward to until graduation.

Naruto, suddenly stopping, shouted up at the sky. "Yaaaaaaaaaah!"

Gaara gave him a look. "Feel better now?"

"Jesus, yes," he said, shaking out his arms. "What a fuckin' ride, huh? M'exhausted. Heh."

Gaara's expression remained neutral, but his mouth quirked just a little. "If you say so."

Naruto put an arm around him. "What are you stoppin' for, Gaara? Keep movin'. There's so much I wanna show you today! It's gonna be great!"

Gaara gave him a dry look. "...Annoying."

"Heh, you sounded like Sasuke just then—"

Gaara continued walking without him, leaving Naruto behind.

"Just do me a favor, would you?" Gaara asked when he caught up.

"What's that?"

"Try to go at least a few minutes without mentioning Sasuke."

"I'll try," he said. "But no promises."

"Fair enough."

"Alright, let's go! I'm hungry! Starving actually." Naruto rubbed his stomach.

"Then let's go, and by the way," said Gaara. "Happy New Year, Naruto."

Naruto grinned. "Happy New Year, Gaara. Thanks for stayin' by my side all this time."

"No problem."

"Hey, did I ever tell you about the time Sasuke and I—"

Gaara stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and sent him a glare.

"I'm just kidding!" Naruto cackled, giving him a light shove to get him moving again. "Don't worry. I'll go back to buggin' Sasuke as soon as you leave, Gaara."

"Good." Gaara nodded. "So far, he's the only person I've ever met who can put up with you for long periods of time _and_ seems to _like_ your more annoying traits."

"You think so?" He asked, a grin splitting his face.

"It's clearly a match made in heaven," Gaara answered dryly.

"Yeah…" Naruto stuck his tongue out, catching a snowflake. "Sounds about right to me, too."

* * *

 **The End**

(of this fic)

Thank you for reading.


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